Those Brazen Deer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                   Now, girls, first I have to apologize!  First, from being away from here, and, second, no Bitch Of The Week this week!  How often does that happen??????????????

                   I was on a trip to suburban Pennsylvania--good ole PA--and just got back, yesterday!  I was emotionally fraught, having to contend with a number of matters, involving my elder father, but let me tell you, dolls, it is nothing compared to the brazenness of those deer out there!!!!!!!!!!

                   Now, I know we all grew up loving Dasher and Dancer, etc,.....all the way up to Rudolph.  We all cried at "Bambi," and, some, like myself, cried at "The Yearling."  But after yesterday, it became apparent to me that deer are as nasty as a couple of 1950s bitches, fighting for a prime table, at The Colony Club!!!!!!!!!!!!

                   Such cheek and impunity!!!!!!!!!  As you know, our lovable reptile friend, Gojira, always travels with us for protection.  He sets up a nice space for himself among the trees in my sister's front yard, and never causes an ounce of trouble!  He is so sweet!

                   Well, yesterday morning, as we were arising early to catch an early bus back to NYC, my beloved said Gojira woke him up, because he was miffed--so much so, he was packing already, hurrying us to get back to the city!!!!!!!!!!!  It seems that he was awakened by these brazen deer nibbling on his tail, and it was painful!  Can you imagine???????  Having the gall to nip on Gojira's tail????????  Gojira was in so much discomfort, when he got back to civilized Bay Ridge, he had to put soothing Estee Lauder cream on his tail!  The cheek!  But wait, there is more!

                    While we were breakfasting in my sister's kitchen, a deer suddenly appears in the yard, and without any ado, begins munching on anything it pleased.  My sister is yelling, banging on the window; the deer looks up, practically turns his nose up at her, and went on with his business!!!!!!!!!!  Have you ever seen such crassness???????  Even New York City's rats have a little more decorum!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       When we left to go get the bus, that deer was still out there, and still at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So cute, but so nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        No wonder we were glad to get back to the city!  This was no Disney fantasy, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let Me Tell You, Girls, Truer Words Were Never Spoken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     The advice is pretty self-explanatory, but with bitches on the rise these days, it may become harder and harder to spot one.  The Entitlement Queens make it easy by their outward behavior, which makes others in their path want to slap them silly.  Much harder to recognize is the Miss Butter Wouldn't Melt In Her Mouth Variety, who can be so sweet and accommodating,  one has no idea what they are dealing with, until it is too late. Not unlike a Black Widow Spider!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Of course, if you decide to fight fire with fire by becoming a bitch yourself, then who is going to trust you? It is a slippery slope, darlings, and very hard to navigate.  The best way to deal with it all is to trust your instincts, and simply avoid those who "rub you the wrong way."  If they do, it is for a reason, which only you can know, or figure out, and once that is done, you will realize why staying away from said individual is the best thing.

                        I love how this poster adopts all across the Bitch Spectrum.  But don't make the mistake of thinking all bitches are created equal, because they are not.  Or, at least, they feel that way.

                         Which is why they are bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, It Makes Me Wonder What Kind Of Bill Of Goods We Were Sold On Adulthood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               I like that operative question, "How's that working out for you?"  For all, the answers will be different; some better, others worse. As for me--

                               I guess I have pretty much done all I said I wanted to do, back before I became an adulthood. I have seen more Broadway shows than most, have stayed up as late as I want, watching everything on TV, seen just about every film classic I have ever wanted to on the big screen, not to mention finding my beloved, and being content.

                                   But, when that early morning alarm goes up, one still feels like Dawn Davenport on Christmas morning. And there are dishes, laundry, and cleaning to worry about, though with my beloved and Baby Gojira, I get plenty of help!!!!!!!!!   Thank God, because otherwise things might look like Grey Gardens!!!!!!!!!

                                     So, when I saw this picture, I knew I had to laugh, and share it with all my girls!!!!!!!  Hope things are working out for you better than Aunty Acid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Personally, I prefer Aunt Ida!!!!!!!!!!!  Things worked out real well for her, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What A Colossal Disappointment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                From my viewing matter, over the weekend, darlings, you would think it was a bust!  But it really wasn't.  We visited a coworker of my beloved, who is hospitalized, and did some humanitarian work, listened to Sister Camille, and had a nice early Saturday evening dinner.

                                  I could not wait to see "The Calling."  I was even anxious to read the Inger Ash Wolfe novel, but after seeing the disappointing movie, I don't feel the need to.  I don't think I will learn any more by reading the novel.

                                   This was supposed to open in theaters on Labor Day Weekend.  With a cast consisting of Susan Sarandon, Topher Grace, Ellen Burstyn, and Donald Sutherland, there was much for me to anticipate.  A town menaced by a religious serial killer.  This should have blown me away.

                                  It did not.  In fact, if you are really interested in seeing this movie, don't read beyond here, because I plan on spoilers galore, not to be nasty, but just because they were so obvious and predictable, in the first place.

                                    The minute Christopher Heyerdahl appears on screen as Simon, a man with a hippie dippy look, kind eyes, and claims of being a healer, I remarked to my beloved, "That is the killer."  And I turned out to be right.  By the time the movie was halfway through I had figured out who he was targeting and how, and most of why he was doing it.  Nothing in this movie surprised me at all--and this is a genre where I like to be caught off guard.

                                        It turns out that when Donald Sutherland, as Father Price,  was a young priest, he ran an orphanage.  There were two boys, Simon and Gabriel, who were there.  In a decision he comes to regret, he splits the boys up; Gabriel is adopted, Simon remains at the orphanage.  But the whole thing backfires; Gabriel is taken in by a family who abuses him; as soon as he is able, he goes on the road, leading the life of a drug addict, and eventually taking his life.  Simon finds this out, and brings the body of his brother back to his religious trailer, run by his acolyte, Jane Buck,(which, as an actress, Ellen Burstyn and the audience would have had a lot more fun with than her playing Sarandon's mother!!!!!!!!!!) and freezes it, intending to bring him back!  Uh huh!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Meanwhile, despite the efforts of Mom, Sarandon is six sheets to the wind.  She plays without make-up, and is supposed to be an alcoholic cop, addicted to pain killers, who attempted suicide years earlier, when she lost her baby, presumably through a miscarriage.!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, how much contrivance can be crammed into this story?

                                            None of this has anything to do with matters at hand, except it gives the killer an excuse to get Sarandon and try to "relieve" her of her pain.  Instead,Simon, the killer, ends up killing himself, just like his brother, years before.  But not before he does in Father Price!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              What a fascinating mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Maybe you are not as clever as I, so some out there may find this surprising.  It is well acted, but the writing needs to be amped up, so there is some genuine suspense.

                                                  The Spook A Rama at Coney Island last month made me jump, more than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If You Really Want A Revolution, Girls, This Is NOT It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Let's start with the cumbersome title, "Revolution In The Elbow Of Ragnar Agnarsson, Furniture Painter."  The title is both cumbersome and literal.  I don't know if this Agnarsson was a real person, but I do know that someone on the creative staff must have been obsessed with the 1966 sci-fi film "Fantastic Voyage," (this was the film where Judith Crist rightly pointed out "the dialogue does not rise above Raquel Welch's bust line.") because, in this show, the audience has to accept there is a thriving community living within the elbow of this artist.  The town is called--what else??????--Elbowville.

                              The other thing I want to say is, despite Cady Huffman's phenomenal vocal prowess, especially with such a mediocre score, and her ability to wear some of the show's most eye-catching costumes, if I were she I would look for a new agent. Come on, Cady, you are much better than this, and if this is the best your current agent can do, he should be fired, and fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  The whole thing is a metaphor for the economic collapse of Iceland in 2008, with lots of anti-capitalism remarks and references.    Not that I object, but ho hum!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If this had been done twenty years ago, at either La Ma Ma, or the New York Theatre Workshop, it might have past muster, but today????????  Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!  As I sat watching, I counted off the influences of musicals of the past thirty years--everything from "Rent" to "Dreamgirls!"

                                    How this got to even the Minetta Lane Theatre is beyond me!!!!!!!!!!!!  Better a meal at the Minetta Tavern than this show.  A place that has lasted longer than this show will ever play at this venue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Of course, for you theater novices, who have yet to have the experience of seeing real crap, this is  the show for you.  For the rest of us............been there, done that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankly, I Prefer "Noises Off," Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             This is one of Don Delillo's signature books, so I had always planned on reading it. But, after having read, and been simply blown away, by his epic masterwork, "Underworld," I turned out to be sadly disappointed by "White Noise."

                               There is a whole school of writers--Delillo, Jonathan Franzen and David Foster Wallace--who influenced each other, often writing on the same ideas and themes.  "White Noise" reminded me so much of David Foster Wallace's debut novel, "The Broom Of The System," which I just loved.  It kicked around many of the ideas here, but did so in a way that convincingly joined narrative and philosophy together.

                                  "White Noise" does not do this.  Whole sections seem to be separate entities, and I was fully expecting Mr. Gray to turn out to be Jack's friend, Murray.  Which might have made for a more interesting climax.

                                       There was one phrase used that I just loved--"the suicide of technology."  I agree with this, even though I am using technology now to convey my thoughts.  But where the suicide comes in is that there are so many people who believe in the validity of  anything technological, that, were it all to vanish tomorrow, there would be many who could not cope with their lives, and might commit suicide.  I hope this doesn't include the elimination of automatic coffee makers, though I am sure I would find a way to get my coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I was with Delillo on many points in his novel.  I just did not care for how he presented them.

                                         Still, for readers of this author, and/or serious literature  in general, "White Noise" is a necessity.

Attacked By A Creature From Hell---Her Own Husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Remember the movie poster, for the 1950s Roger Corman sci-fi classic "The Day The World Ended????"  Here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as you can see, it used those exact words--Attacked By A Creature From Hell.  But, let me tell you something, girls, when Denise Leuthold was murdered in her parents' home on Valentine's Day of 2013, I realized she would have been a ot safer  with the  three-eyed monster from Venus.  At least, then, she would have had an idea of what she was up against!!!!!!  How could Denise know the monster was in her own house--her husband???????????

      Let me tell you something, girls, as I watched Denise and Nathan's story play out, I could tell things were not right, from the start.  You have to watch out for these types from zealous religious families.  

Sweethearts from the third grade; he was on the basketball team, she was a cheerleader, never actually dating or laying a hand on each other--isn't this just too nauseating????  And when they finally did get married, what did Nathan want to do, but be some sort of Christian missionary in--of all places--Lithuania????????

So, he and Denise keep having one kid after the other, ending up, with, I think, four.  And who knows how many more, if Denise hadn't been murdered???????? At first everyone thought it was a break in gone wrong, too carefully staged, and the husband evasive in his answers, they knew something was up. and I did, too.  I knew Nathan did it, but I figured it was the old Life Insurance policy ploy.  Instead it was that other Eternal Motive--sex!!!!!!!!!!

During one of their forays to Lithuania, the Leutholds got involved with some 21-year-old exchange student chippy, whom they sponsored to have her study in the United States!  Shee  lived with them, in Denise's parents' house!  At some point, behind backs, Nathan and this chippy became involved.  Let me tell you, girls; Nathan was not much to look at, and neither was she.  Denise, while no  Blythe Danner, was far prettier.  But his dumb cluck murdered his wife, waiting for her and executing her with a shotgun, to be with his tramp mistress, who, I bet, was not  so much hot for him, as for American citizenship and suburban affluence!!!  You better believe it, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know if the tramp got convicted.  I do know she lied about having a sexual relationship with Nathan.  While Nathan lied about his guilt, proclaimed his innocence, despite evidence to the contrary!!!!!!!!

             What a selfish bastard!  Killing someone he has known since childhood, and robbing his children of their mother.  Did he think that tramp would raise them???  Hopefully, Denise's parents, and not Nathan's sister, whom I would never trust, are raising those children now!

Because no ones going to raise those children, except Denise's parents, as I wouldn't trust her with them.   And no one is going to see Nathan now!  Not after getting an 80 year prison sentence!!!!!!!!!!

There is an old theatrical saying--"Will it play in Peoria???"  It sure did, and this town has had too much drama than it needs.

Denise did not deserve to be executed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But Nathan does!!!!!!!!!!!!!