What Is Wrong When A Straight Man Is Too Fashionable?????????????????

                                     This is a tough one to answer, girls, because most of this town is full of well-groomed men, and, weather we want to admit it or not, some of them actually are straight. It is true that gays and women own this town, in fashion terms--I mean, it just goes--fags, femmes, and fashion, right??????--but you have to wonder about our straight contemporaries.  Because this was going on long before "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy," which uniquely bordered on being insulting both to gays AND straights.

                                      If I see a straight man who is TOO put together, I begin to wonder if he is in the closet.  Or if his wife or girl friend dresses him. Because, let's face it, unless you are married to Mama June, most straight guys need their gals to help them look good.  Then there are the ones who refuse to listen, and show up with rumpled shirts, and under arm stains, not because their partners are being derelict, but because they feel sexually insecure, and this is how they want to prove they are straight to everyone. Believe me, I know!

                                       Jake Gyllenhaal always look perfect. But no one is sure about him, yet, anyway! And, besides, he is a celebrity.

                                        It is the non-celebs, "the shrinks and lawyers on parade," to coin Stephen Schwartz, one has to wonder about.  What is it they are expressing by being so couture?????????  I doubt if any one of them know who ANNA is.  That is how you can tell the man is straight.  Even Seth Meyers, who works with ANNA; look how schlebby he dresses.  I am amazed she tolerates it!!!!!!

                                          When a straight man is too fashionable, one's suspicions are aroused.  And should be?  I mean, just what do they think they are trying to do? Don't they pose enough problems for gays?

                                              Just to play Devil's Advocate, what about gay men who have no fashion sense?  Yes, there are some out there.  Well, the Williamsburg twentysomething slackers can be excused for trying to look cute; that is, after all, a style of sorts. But trying to pull this off in your forties, looking like Kevin Smith, just shows you have no insight into the culture and the community you are supposed to be a part of. It is the old general malaise about the post Baby Boomers having no sense of history, in general.

                                               However, all these pristine straight men--HAH!  Sneak up on them in their Man Caves, and you will find an environment more odorous and unclean than Grey Gardens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 That is not fashion, darlings, that is being a PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!