"Blood Of Dracula" Shows Why I Never Took Chemistry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Well actually, darlings, I did, for about two days.

                             This was a bad time.  My mother had recently passed, and I was having trouble landing a job that would put me on a career path.  I decided to take a basic Chem class at Middlesex County--which I could afford on my own, back in 1979--and I must say the concepts outlined the first day were fascinating.  If only labs were not involved.

                               Because, in one of my first lab steps, I made a mistake, and almost blew up the place!  Immediately after, I looked at the college catalog, and there I saw it--an evening course called "History Of American Musical Theater."  And I thought I would be going to Rutgers School Of Pharmacy!  Hah!  I marched into that other class, where the instructor was so impressed by me, he had me stay after class, and it was like a real-life version of the Cassie-Zach scene in "A Chorus Line."  That put me on the right path, and here I am today.  I lasted in Chemistry only two days.

                                   Returning to the topic at large, Saturdays are especially fun, when "Svengoolie" shows "Blood Of Dracula."  You know, the one where Sandra Harrison looks better as the monster!   Girls, if you need a film fix of this it is on You Tube in its entirety.

                                     On this viewing, there were several things I learned--

                      Having a tramp stepmother (Jeanne Dean steals every moment she is in, as Miss Roundheels Doris) will get a girl sent to a third-rate boarding school, with subliminal lesbianism.  I mean, the headmistress' name is Mrs. Thorndyke!  Wink, wink!  Sherwood was NOT Miss Porter's;  Lee Radziwill would never have been caught dead here!  What is it with stepmothers and boarding school?  Remember Eleanor Parker alluding to such in "The Sound Of Music?"

                        The girls are so desperate they dance with pillows, and spout as erotic fantasies as the studio would allow.  The boys that substitute for the pillows look like they are just at puberty, while the girls surpass them.  In fact, the boys' jeans are tighter than the girls' skirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I swear on one of them, his penile and testicular outlines were exposed.  Something for everyone, I guess!

                     This film demonstrates the consequences of repressed lesbianism.  The better dressed, Nancy, (Sandra Harrison) will always attack the inferior dressed, Miss Branding (Louise Lewis).  Also, girls, if it is bosoms you want, this film has plenty.  But you have to feel sorry for Miss Branding, "all dressed up and no place to go," to paraphrase a Meat Loaf song. When one is obsessed with Chemistry, and has no other life, madness reigns.  No one got this way from English Literature.  I can attest to that.

                      In short, "Blood Of Dracula" is always a blast to watch.  I am ready to dash into the city, to Sally Hershberger, and ask for the Sandra Harrison Monster look!  I bet Sally could do it!

                                                                        

                        Once again, girls, NEVER take Chemistry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!