Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Girls, "Valley Of The Dolls" Goes Great With Coffee!!!!!

Girls, on Sunday mornings there is nothing better than curling up on my luxurious divan in my pink peigenoir watching the screen classic "Valley Of The Dolls." I am telling you, darlings, I AM Neely!!!! Not since Sergei Eissenstein pioneered the Odessa steps sequence in "Potemkin" has the art of montage been used so faitfully. Start with Neely's Rise To Star Montage, from her alarm getting off, to a "Star Is Born" type trio number that even Judy Garland might have thought a litltle stagy, to marriage. Not to mention Barbara Parkins head turns and twists as the Gillian Girl. What more could one ask for on a Sunday morning. And when Patty Duke finally crashes in the gutter, we all want to cry out NEEEEEEEEEELY O'HAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let me tell you, girls, our Sunday morning is complete. Who the hell needs Charles Kurault, anyway?

Girls, Jackie (Sussann) told our lives the way they are! This film is my autobiography! And without coffee it is incomplete. Hell, take a doll with the coffee and blast off!!!!
Get high, girls!!!!!!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Girls, Teach Your Daughters To Call Their Men "Big Boy!!!"

Girls, from the time I was knee high I found the surest two words guaranteed to get a man to give me what I want were--"Big Boy." So successful is this phrase that a burger chain is named after it.

Just try it out--"Oh, big boy!" "Buy me that at the store, big boy!" "Give it to me all you got, big boy!" Soon you will have everything your heart desires.

"Buy me that house in Great Neck, big boy!"
"Buy me that Van Cleef and Arpels garnet, big boy!"
"I need a new Prada purse, big boy!"

See how much power you can exert over your man with these two words. And think of the results--you will get EVERYTHING you want!

So remember when raising your daughters, girls--the first words out of her mouth should be "Big Boy." Then she will be set for life.

Just like me, girls!!!!!!

Girls, Why Can't You Experience The Radiant Incandescence of "Juno?"

What is wrong with you girls? "Juno" is the freshest most enlightening film in years and Miss Ellen Page is a true star who is sure to be in the pantheon with Meryl. She's young? So what!
She's smart; damn right, she is intellectually brilliant and she is not afraid to play characters who have such, dark or otherwise. If one cannot experience the radiance of "Juno" and Ellen Page, perhaps you aren't ready for building blocks.

Darlings, we all want to be like Ellen Page, a role model for the intelligensia. We want to look like her, dress like her, wear our hair like her. Girls, she is the model young womanhood sorely needs. Forget Brtiney, forget Paris Hilton this is the Page Age and Ellen is the most stunning bearer of this surname since the late great Geraldine Page, whose career hers will be on a par with darlings!!!!!!

Wise up, girls! Do you want to end up an uneducated beautician slut? Because that 's what you will do if you do not heed the brilliance of Miss Page.

Love to all my girls!!!!!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Happy Anniversary, Girls!!!!!

Darlings, today we, this blog are one year old today. Who would have thought we would have survived. From Diana Vreeland to "Cold Case," it has been a year filled with all sorts of bedevilment--and who knows what the following one holds???? But congratulations to you and all my girls who are resonsible--good God am I turning into Sibyl????? Or Sally Field???? Anything but that, even if she does have two Oscars.

So here is to the second year of this blog and hopes for a man and maybe a house in Great Neck!@!!!!

Love you all, darlings!!!!!