Thursday, January 31, 2013

Bye Bye, January!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Can you believe, darlings, that, as of today, we have completed one twelfth of this year?????????  What a month it has been, what with freezing cold, Monsieur's birthday celebration, family drama,  and more books read in one month than have been by me in a good while.

                                       While January is the birth month of my beloved Monsieur, and thus has special meaning for me, it is still not a favorite time, what with the Holiday letdown and then the setting in of Seasonal Affective Disorder, which can make me SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         But having passed through this month, the big hurdle has been made, and so we are on our way to, like the song from "Doctor Zhivago" says, "the Hope of Spring!!!!!!"

                                          So, farewell to January, 2013!  You were memorable in ways both irrevocable and not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  See you in February, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Bette Davis Once Said, "That Word! I Don't Even Know What It Means!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                     That is because, darlings, "autodidact" is not a word you hear bantered about often!!!!!!!!!  When I first read this book, in 1989, it made me yearn for the adolescence she had--one where I could drop out of high school and continue on my own.  Not because of my studies--I actually enjoyed most of those--but to get away from the social and political pressures, and the confined roles into which you are, whether you want to be or not, forced into by both peers and teachers.

                                                        In other words, I wanted to say "Fuck you!" to high school!  Well, now I have!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         The literal definition of autodidact is "a self-taught person." Kendall Hailey had more than a head start, being the daughter of playwright Oliver Hailey, it not only helped her get this book published, it gave her the intelligence to actually pursue autodidacticism, rather than become what her type today would become, were they to leave high school--slacker dudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            My former friend, Vincent, was an autodidact, having never been to college, but with a breadth and knowledge of film and literature, and a reading habit to match mine, which worked for both of us, until his psychological problems, which he was unwilling to acknowledge tore away the fabric of our friendship.

                                                               Many of us who are readers, I think, become lifelong autodidacts once we are out of the confines of school.  I may have a Master's Degree, but I consider myself as much of an autodidact as someone who has less.  Much of my real learning, what has been of most value to me throughout my life, came from outside the classroom, thanks to my own autodidacticism!!!!!!!

                                                                   Of course some autodidacts can be more learned than others.
Some can even be more pretentious.  But the word, and the experience, should became more a part of a person's growth.  If the schools are no longer going to provide this type of education (though they can still give students the tools!!!!!) it is up to individuals to provide it for themselves.

                                                                   Don't be a part of the dumbing down of America!  Educate yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Farewell To The Last Surviving Andrews Sister!!!!!!!!

                                 That would be Patty Andrews, darlings, the one pictured in the middle, and the one I saw, with Maxine (to her left) on Broadway at the Shubert Theatre, back in 1974, in "Over Here!"  What a show that was--lavishly staged, a Sherman Brothers score harking back to the Big Band era, and plenty of young up and comers--Ann Reinking, John Travolta, John Driver, and a young lady who was expected to go through the roof, named Janie Sell!!!!!!!!  She scored big in this show, winning a TONY Award for her efforts, and then what????????  Several years ago, I read a story on how lesser known actors keep themselves going financially between  gigs, and, in the course of this, found out that Janie heads an agency that helps actors find these type of jobs.

                                     But about the Andrews Sisters.  During the late Sixties, early Seventies, the country went nostalgia crazy for the 1940s.  One of the first ads I remember featured Helen O"Connell, (singing her signature song, "Green Eyes") and mentioning the Andrews Sisters, who were heard to sing "Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree," which captured many members of my generation.  I still remember a high school assembly--it must have been Spring of 1972, where Debbie Fisher, Ellen Holdowksy, and Jane Levine, got up in 40s  outfits, and did this song in harmony!!!!!!  They were fabulous, and the student body went wild!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       La Verne, the oldest, died in 1967.  Maxine, the middle, died in 1995., while Patty made it to 94, dying yesterday at her home, in Los Angeles, of natural causes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         With her gone, another indicator of the end of an era!!!!!!!! So, girls, get out your  skirts and bobby sox this evening, and twirl to the Andrews Sisters sound!!!!!!!!!  It will never be forgotten!!!!!!!

                                              Or else do the "Huckle Buck" with the still surviving Teresa Brewer!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Come On, Guys, Take It Down A Notch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  When it came to button pressing, "Criminal Hatred," last night's episode of "Law And Order SVU" pulled no punches. But that did not mean it was  a good episode.  Outside of a great performance by Jenny Bacon, as the wife of one of the victims, the acting and writing was atrocious, though the issues raised were still provoking.

                                       The team was on the prowl in the Gay Community, looking for a perp who hunts down, rapes and steals from gay men. Well, not exactly.  Turns out the perps are specialized--married men who are still in the closet!!!!!!!!!!  Now, I do not advocate the murder or rape of anyone, but closeted gays I have a problem with,  honey, because they are worse than homophobic straight men.  At least those guys are up front enough to let you know what you are dealing with!  These others are more dangerous, because they can lead a prospective partner down paths of hypocrisy, just so they can preserve the hypocrisy of their own lives.

                                         Nowhere is this more brought out than in the central story of Charles Murphy (Paul Fitzgerald, who, with his tight, chiseled look,  was so convincing as the suburban hypocrite!!!!!!!  I hated him for that!) .  Even though he is attacked, even though you know the victim rate will escalate, all this guy cares about is keeping his secret--he has been married for 16 years, and his wife has no idea.  I wonder.  He also says his firm where he works is not gay friendly. You know what I say about that?  Honey, you are full of shit; you work in Manhattan!   And IF--just IF--it is true, then get the hell outta there, and go to another firm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Don't even get me started on what this guy (and his type) is doing to his wife and children!!!!!!!!!  So, when he complains, later on, that "my life is ended," what are we supposed to say???  Boo Hoo?????????   You made your choice, laddie, so now it is time to own up!!!!!!!!  Though he mentions one of his children being bullied at school, which is much more tragic than what Daddy is facing. Daddy is guilty.  The child is innocent.

                                                Turns out the perp has an agenda I can understand--though I do not advocate raping or attacking anyone.  It boils down to his self-hating rage about being gay, only BECAUSE he cannot pass for straight, and so feels marginalized,. in terms of jobs, etc.  Now, this is something I myself personally faced back in the late 1970s, though I am sure, especially in Manhattan, it is a different story now, though there may be some places where this could apply.  However, the casting department really screwed up.  The actor they cast as the perp was really not, as Esparza's character says, "effeminate," he just looked like street hustler garbage. The issue would have been made clearer if they had cast a decidedly effeminate looking actor.

                                                 Jenny Bacon, as one of the victim's wives, delivers one of the few good performances!!!!!!!!! Nia Valadros was awful, channeling almost every actress who has been an attorney on there--Tovah, Patti, Kelly Bishop!!!!!!!!  Too bad she never took some glamour tips from Stephanie March!!!!!!!!!

                                                    And when the perp went nuts (which you knew would happen) he destroyed any sympathy for his issue I might have felt; especially when he called his alleged husband a "little faggot."  When he gets to jail, girls, he will find out who the faggot is!!!!!!!!!

                                                       As for Mr. Murphy, the closet case, it is implied his wife Melissa will wisely walk out on him, though that is never taken up. But what do you expect????  Assuming she is clueless enough not to know, the fact that this a-hole brings into the house not only the possibility of STD's but HIV, as well. That is one of the many trouble with these types of guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Young queens in training--if a guy older than you in  a business suit approaches you in a public space, let him proposition you!!!!!!!!!!  Then, after a beat, spit in his face, and walk away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           I know, I know!!!!!!!!!!!  Go on, I know all you big hypocritical closet cases out there are now gonna wanna come after me.  Listen, if you can have sex with a woman, then get married, and stay there!!!!!  Don't try to fault those of us who live our lives honestly!!!!!  This episode, if anything, offers an excellent example of what happens when guys like this try to be dishonest with both their families and themselves!!!!  No, it is not easy!!!!!!!  Suck it up, you bitches!!!!!!  Figuratively speaking, I mean!!!!!!    Well, to you all I say the same thing that Gena Rowlands said, in the movie, "Gloria!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                             "Come on!  Come on!  I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE it!!!!!!!"

Girls, I Knew He Was A Winner, The Minute I Saw Him!!!!!!!!!!

                                            And that is NOT a compliment, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            I am talking about this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, Jonathan Vick.  The photo taken here was when he was about 16, around the time he did the deed which has placed him here--rape, strangle and murder Dana Satterfield of Roebuck, (but not Sears, darlings!!!!!!) South Carolina, on July 31, 1995!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               It seems this overly fueled testosterone leveled kid nurtured some kind of "Fatal Attraction" obsession for Dana, who was not only 11 years older than he was (27, at the time of her death), but had a husband and a daughter of her own.  That daughter is now grown, and bearing a strong resemblance to her beautiful mother, who, from all accounts, could have been the real life version of Truvy from "Steel Magnolias."  He had been stalking Dana, noticing her comings and going, when she would be alone in the shop, and, on the evening of July 31, 1995, he acted.  When Dana wisely rebuffed his advances, he flew into a rage, and killed her!

                                                But then her case went cold for ten years, and this pig walked about!  But years later, a former high school (you don't think these punks went to college, did you???) classmate of Vick, Michael Pace, spotted Dana's daughter, noted her resemblance, and his conscience was cleared.  It seems at the time jerk Vick bragged about the murder to Pace, threatening that if he were to tell, Vick would kill him.  If I had been Pace, I would have belted Vick in the mouth right there, then, while he was defenseless and bleeding, gone to the authorities!!!!!!!!!  But coward Pace kept the secret, until he spotted Dana's grown daughter, and the floodgates opened.

                                                  Not only did Vick kill Dana, he is a suspect in the disappearance of his own girl friend, Heather Sellars.  Wonder where he buried her?????????

                                                    This arrogant prick, now 32,  has the nerve to keep appealing his case, when it is clear he belongs in prison for life, and that is that!!!!!!!!!  Someone should have told this sixteen-old-year punk that just because you have fantasies on beautiful women does not mean you can or should act on them. Especially when they rebuff you!  Take it out on a tube sock, instead, you dirty trash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Well, now in prison, Vick can't do much of anything beyond that, unless he is somebody's bitch, which he deserves.  Perhaps he should be injected with estrogen, (he should have been at 16; then Dana would still be here!) and, hopefully, the kitchen is putting salt peter each night into his mashed potatoes!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Vick may well be Head Bitch in his cell block, but for now he is this week's Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!   Few lowlifes get any lower than this, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           Vaporize him, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Novice Nicole Was Fabulous, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Displaying the kind of linguistic skill and character probing she would put to use with greater effect in her masterpiece, "The History Of Love," Nicole Krauss' first novel signaled the arrival of a major talent, and is a deeply contemplative meditation on memory and the hold it has on us.

                                            Part Alzheimer-type narrative, and part science fiction, "Man Walks Into A Room" is the story of Samson Greene, onetime Columbia University English professor, found wandering in the Nevada desert, with no memory beyond the first twelve years of his life.  Some corrective surgery extends his present life, which is spent, via the rest of the book, in trying to unravel who he is, where he came from, and why he was left to exist, in this fashion.  There are no easy answers, and the book does not exactly end on an upbeat note--it almost demands some lighter reading following it-- but if you care about writing it is a must.

                                              Though I have to say, if Nicole Krauss was not the writer, and I had not read her other works, I might have had more reservations than I did.  At times dense, but richly detailed and emotionally wrenching, the novel has a way of getting under one's skin, making the reader somewhat uncomfortable, which is, I think, its intention. Nicole Krauss wants you to think about ideas via the situations she presents, and on that level she succeeds.

                                                 Is it a blast?????????  Hardly, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  And her scope is reduced, unlike her later works.  But, in view of what she went on to do, if you have read Nicole Krauss already, go back and read "Man Walks Into A Room."  If you have not, this may not be the best place to start. But once you have, it is worth going back to see where and how Nicole started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   And Miss Krauss is not botox, girls!!!!!!!!  Unlike that OTHER Nicole!!!!!!!!!!!

A Hero, Who Died From His Demons!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        The young man pictured above, Wade Knox, was not only a good friend of Heath Stocks, he was another of many boys abused by Jack Walls. Only Wade really did something about it.  Not only that--he was Jack Walls' own nephew!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Around the time after Heath Stocks murdered his family, in 1997, Wade went to his uncle's house, confronting him at gunpoint.  He forced Jack Walls to admit verbally, in front of his parents, that he abused Heath and many other boys. This, of course, led to Walls' arrest, trial and conviction, where he rots in prison today.

                                            Wade was unquestionably a hero, and instrumental in bringing this sicko to justice. But Wade developed paranoid schizophrenia, living in fear that Jack would return and do something to him.  It proved to be too much, and so, at the age of 23, in 2003, Wade Knox ended his life

                                               I have to wonder about the effect of all this on Walls' wife and daughters. Happily, the wife divorced him, and they are living somewhere far away from him, and where others (even if new identities had to be fashioned) do not know who they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

                                               As far as I am concerned, Jack Walls claims another murder victim, the three others being the Stocks family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Just like the parents of a more recent young suicide, Tyler Clementi, Wade's parents went on to establish, in his name, The Wade Knox Children's Advocacy Center, as a place where children threatened by abusers can go to for help.  So, in a way, Wade is still carrying out courageous acts.
While his uncle rots in prison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    A happy ending, and a sad one!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Candlemass  Eve is fast coming up on us, darlings!!!!!!!!  Maybe we should sacrifice Jack Walls, burning him at the stake as a male witch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hardly a virgin, though!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Roast him on a spit, like the pig he is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stay Away From These Low Lifes, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               There are all kinds of scum out there, girls, but the pieces of filth I am about to discuss take the cake, even when it comes to scumbags.

                                                  Let's start with Diane Fruge (pronounced Froo-jay, though she is sorely lacking in class).  Her segment, on "Redrum" last night, opened with the police pulling up to her luxury trailer (she may have been White Trash, but she was Luxury White Trash!!!!!!), while tending to her son Josh. There is an exchange between them, where she bends down, holds him to her, and says--

                                                     "Mommy has to go away for a little. But it doesn't mean that I am a bad person!!!!!!!!!"

                                                        Oh, yeah????????  Like Hell, it doesn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Back in 2,007 Dennis   Gaede and his wife, Diane Fruge, were brought to trial and convicted for the 2001 murder of Timothy Wicks.  You see, Diane was one of those gals who just had no judgement when it came to men. After a string of physically abusive relationships (wonder what her childhood and adolescence was like, dolls?????????) she meets up with Dennis Gaede in 2000.  Not having enough sense to look into his background before becoming involved with him, she has no idea she  is hooking up with a scheming con artist.  She thinks he earns his keep as a musician, playing drums in bands.
As does Timothy Wicks.  The two must have met at some point, but sometime in 2001, the real Wicks said he was going to Canada for a gig too good to be turned down. He paid his rent two months in advance, saying not to give the apartment up, he would let the landlord know when he was coming back.  And that was the last anyone ever heard of him!

                                                            A year later, a bag, containing a torso--the head and hands were missing--was found on a road bordering Michigan and Wisconsin.  It turned out to be the remains of Timothy Wicks. The REAL Timothy Wicks.  Because this did not at all deter Gaede from assuming Wicks' identity, writing checks in his name. When Diane discovers Gaede has killed Wicks, he orders her to help him with disposing of the body.  Some abuse occurs, so, of course, Diane goes along with it!  Dumb!  She should have taken her chances, waited till Gaede was away, then gone to the authorities!!!!!!!!

                                                             You would think!  But, when interrogated, she first protects Gaede, saying she did everything. When the cops ask her doesn't she realize what slime Gaede is, that he is sending her over, (about time Diane heard this from someone!!!!!!!!!) then offer her a choice--would she rather see son Josh once a week in prison for the rest of her days, or raise him by herself????? She turns on Gaede quicker than a snake; the first sensible thing Diane did!  Though she still is required to serve some time, I believe, according to the broadcast, she is now out, living privately in a state other than where this all took place, raising Josh.  Whether she was issued a new identity, I cannot say.

                                                                There is no other way to say it--Diane Fruge was just dumber than shit! Basically, the type that could end up on "Judge Judy," which, actually, would have been better fro her, than what she went through. And what effect did all this have, and will continue to have, on Josh??????
What if Diane gets involved with another dumb man?????????  Let's face it, her track record is not very good!!!!!!!!!  If I were Diane, I would avoid the male of the species altogether!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                   And just look, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Was Dennis any prize??????  Not a bit, though, I can tell, just from the picture, if there is a movie, that Philip Seymour Hoffman will play him!!!!!!!!!!  He may look dumb at first sight, but he is a self-righteous, arrogant prick, who needed a good bitch slapping!!!!!!!!!!!!  And, hopefully in prison, he is getting it!  Hell, he may even be someone's bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                      Now, let me introduce you to another piece of scum.  This is Charles Jack Walls, and, with regard to his story, you could say what Bette Davis once said, in "All About Eve"--"And it gets better!"

                                                                        I can tell you, that smirk, and that supercilious look tell all!!!!!  He is not a bit remorseful!  He was born into privilege and entitlement, the son of a prominent Arkansas attorney, and took advantage of that entitlement all of his life.  He was one of those so-called leaders and pillars of the church and community who would have been better off staying away.  Because, under the guise of such suburban propriety, (including being married, with a wife and three daughters) he served as Scoutmaster to many of the town's boys, some of them sons of his friends.  But, in addition to mentoring them, he was also sexually abusing them. Constantly.

                                                                           And all this culminated into an explosion that was set off one  morning, when Heath Stocks was 18.  Bold as brass, Heath's mother  went to awaken her son--and saw him in his bed, with Jack Walls sleeping next to him!!!!!   I mean, darlings, how many children still living with their parents bring their sex partners home with them, and blatantly sleep with them???? Would they even want to?????? . Unfortunately, Heath was from a very dysfunctional family, a tremendously abusive father (which allowed for Walls to weave his way into Heath's life) and a mother too passive and self-denying to take any actions.  Heath's discovery led to confronting his abuser, only to be told to "fix the problem."  This escalated his rage, culminating in the murder of his father, mother and sister, Heather.  The first two I am not going to worry about; the last was unconscionable.

                                                                              So Heath is now serving three consecutive life sentences, in prison. Eventually, scumbag Walls got his comeuppance, too, and is also serving three life sentences in prison, having been convicted of six counts of rape.

                                                                                 These were scum that should have been avoided at all costs. Diane was just too dumb and stupid!  Heath was a tragic victim driven to do the unthinkable by the person who abused him--while the ones who should have been protecting him were unable to. And the sleazoid who abused him is the one who drove him to it, and is as much responsible for the Stock family murders as Heath!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                     Good riddance to bad rubbish. But stick around, loves, because how and by whom Jack Walls got his comeuppance is fascinating. though it, too, had tragic consequences.

                                                                                      Slam the door on these lowlifes for good!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Girls, This Was The Moment When I Knew!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      No, girls, not the moment I discovered I was gay, which I can barely remember now.  Though, undoubtedly, this was pointing the way, but how could I have known that?

                                        When the first editions of the soundtrack album for "The Sound Of Music" were issued, there came with it, a booklet, similar to a souvenir programme.  On the back, was the above photo, which, if you have seen the film, takes place during the "Do Re Mi" segment.   Before I saw the film, when I owned the album, I used to stare at this photo in endless fascination.

                                            Because, darlings, it was the moment I first knew I wanted to be Angela Cartwright and Heather Menzies!  And, once I did see the film, and saw how this was all incorporated, the very next day, I spent the entire morning, doing this in front of my house.  My poor mother; she didn't know what to make of it.  I was just practicing my routine from the film!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Not to slight Angela a bit, but I think I learned more towards wanting to be Heather, because she was tall (remember, I was only 11 at the time, and she was older!!!!) and she had that long blonde hair, which I thought was fabulous, so, of course, I wanted it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And, to this day, when I watch the film, outside of Julie, the ones I keep my eyes on, are Heather and Angela!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  So, here, lambs, is the photo that started it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   "Men on the road, with a load to tote, heard," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here Is A Magic Moment, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I was hoping the following image would come out larger and clearer, so, if you cannot figure out what it is, I cannot blame you. But I think there are some out there, who will automatically recognize what this is.  Those mountains give a clue.

                                 It is the precise moment in the iconic moment of the opening of the film classic, "The Sound Of Music," when the camera, and audience, first spot Julie Andrews.  Back in 1965, this moment set audiences' hearts palpitating with excitement; now, at every screening I have attended as an adult over the past quarter century, this is the first moment in the film when the audience erupts into spontaneous applause. And with good reason.  They know that in just seconds, Julie is going to take that now famous twirl, and begin singing notes that few today can match for beauty and clarity.  If a list were made of the Top Ten Opening Sequences In Film, I have no doubt "The Sound Of Music" would be somewhere on the list.

                                   Even the film's detractors have praise for this opening sequence, with its visual sweep and emotional quality.  And, of course, ever since first seeing this film in its original 1965 release, I wanted to be on that mountain, twirling away, myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    It is truly a Magic Moment, girls!!!!!!!!!!  One I just had to share with you, when I found this shot, and sure to warm the hearts and minds of those of us as we struggle through this long, cold Winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Those hills are still alive, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Girls, Let Me Tell You About The REAL "Song Of Bernadette!!!!!!"

                                      No, darlings, I am not rushing the Lenten/Easter season. Though, with regard to that, let me say that Easter this year is March 31st, which of course will also include my annual screening of the film "The Song Of Bernadette," which celebrates a special anniversary this year--it turns 70!!!!!!!!!!

                                       So, already, at this point, I am contemplating having as Easter/"Song Of Bernadette" party.  Keep on top of things, girls, I will let you know!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        You may ask why I included a picture here of the real Bernadette Soubirous, rather than Jennifer Jones, in her Oscar-winning role!  Well, first of all there are enough of those floating around on this blog.  But I wanted to include the REAL Bernadette, because what I have to say touches more on her.

                                           Yesterday, while preparing dinner, and I was reading, Monsieur played for me a track from one of Bette Midler's (yes, girls, the Divine Miss M!!!!!!!) CD's--and it was a song all about Bernadette.  It was called "Song Of Bernadette," and it was written I would guess, sometime in the Sixties, by Jennifer Warnes, who composed the music. The lyrics were done by the Great Leonard Cohen, and they are just beautiful.  Take note--

                                                "There was a child named Bernadette.
                                                  I heard the story long ago.
                                                  She saw the Queen Of Heaven once.
                                                  And kept the vision in her soul.
                                                  No one believed what she had seen.
                                                  No one believed what she heard.
                                                  But there were sorrows to be healed.
                                                  And mercy, mercy, in this world.

                                                  So many hearts I find, broke like yours and mine.
                                                  Torn by what we have done, and can't undo.
                                                   I just want to hold you.
                                                   Won't you let me hold you?
                                                   Like Bernadette would do."

                                            You better believe I cried real tears, when I heard this.  Of course, who else but Leonard Cohen could have written such beautiful word??????.  The man spoke the truth, darlings!!!!!!!  Bet
Sister Camille knows this song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I cannot believe I had never heard this before, but am glad I have. It is another example of Bernadette's message, being spread out into the world.

                                                 So do what the song says and hold someone, like Bernadette would do.
Even if that just includes, darlings, loving yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"You're Just Like A Sunday Morning, Darlings!!!!!!!!"

                                I know, girls, I know, I am mixing some Sunday song lyric metaphors together. And there are so many others out there!

                                 But yesterday's Sunday was unusual, because, for the first time that I can remember, we did nothing.  We stayed in all day.  I started my morning with coffee, and the words of Sister Camille D'Arienzo, which are broadcast on 1010 WINS between 8:30 and 8:45. She even referenced the Bishop in the current film version of "Les Miserables," which shows how up on things this 75 year old nun is.  I always feel better after listening to Sister Camille!!!!!!!  I wish I could be more like her. But, alas, I am more Pearl Chavez than Bernadette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Sunday is also the day I catch up on phone calls--to my father, sister, or anyone I have not been in touch with for awhile.  And to see if I can get a hair appointment with Ariette!!!!!!!!

                                    Part of staying in means reading and resting, and, having recently done food shopping, Monsieur had bought a lovely whole chicken, which he roasted with some delicious roast potatoes and veggies. Then we had his friends Avive and the glamorous Ellen over, who regaled us with her hilarious account of the wacko Chinese woman she was forced to deal with, during the day in her second job as a tax preparer for H and R Block.  Reminds of some of the wackos I have to deal with, at my place.  I mean, beside the staff!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      So, really, it was one of the most relaxing  Sundays ever!  Which was perfect. after the way my work week ended!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        If only Sister Camille could visit, for both divine healing and to show me how to make a proper timpano!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Not To Bash Florida, Girls, But..........!!!!!!!!!!

                                        As I said in my recent post on the Sunshine State, darlings, it was a part of my life for over 30 years, and there were and are many things about it that I enjoy!  But when I heard on the news about Jacksonville, this queen started raving!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        An anti-discrimination bill with regard to LGBT people was defeated 17-2 recently, in that city!  Which means, if you are LGBT in Jacksonville, forget it!  They can fire you from a job, deny you housing, not to mention beat you to death, and your death will be looked the other way!!!!!!!!

                                        The broadcast said Jacksonville is the one major city holdout, in the state!

                                        The first thing I want to say is--what the hell is wrong with these people?????

                                         The second is--are they going to abolish community or any other form of theater or arts in Jacksonville????  Because you can be sure there are at least several LGBT folk involved in anything from tech work, to performance, all the way up to Artistic Director!!!!!!!!!

                                          I guess they want to keep this town a bunch of Po-Dunks!!!!!!!!!

                                          Girls, I am ready to march through the streets of this town, holding my Original Broadway Cast Recording of "Funny Girl" out in front of me, singing "I'm The Greatest Star!"  Give the administrators something to REALLY chew on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Apparently, Jacksonville must be behind the times.  I mean, are they aware that there has been ANY kind of sexual revolution in the past fifty years????  Or do they think men are still confined to their armchairs, with their beer cans, while woman are barefoot, and in the kitchen????
Maybe Jacksonville should change its name to something else--Stepford!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Get with it, you Jacksonville-ites!  I mean, come on; even Honey Boo Boo is more forward thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Best Kept Secret In Bay Ridge, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Well, girls, after I put this one to bed, it won't be, because by then everyone will be flocking to the Little Kitchen Cafe, located, depending on where you live, in Bay Ridge, or Fort Hamilton, at 9300 Fifth Avenue, which is on Fifth and 94th, in Brooklyn.  Since Monsieur and I live in the Ridge, we claim this place for our own, in Bay Ridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         But, if you are going to flock there, get there early, because this is one of the smallest dining spots I have eaten in.  The menu is varied, but not like a diner, while the food is reasonably priced, and several notches above the diner experience.  A lot of home cooking, I am sure, is done on the premises.

                                          Monsieur and  I, plus his glamorous friend, Ellen, first visited this spot prior to the Holidays, and were so enchanted we determined to come back.  Last night, when contemplating a spot to dine, it did not take us long to make a bee line to this place.

                                             I guess people were staying in from the cold, because we had the space pretty much to ourselves.  I should have bought my guitar, and done a few Joan Baez tunes.

                                              Anyway, the soups were fabulous, and I am sure home made.  Ellen had the shrimp bisque, I opted for traditional chicken noodle (with REAL chicken, darlings!!!!!!!!), while Monsieur had the cream of mushroom.

                                                Speaking of mushrooms, there were plenty atop my loin of pork slices, which were delectable, with gravy , mashed potatoes, and flavorsome string beans, the kind that are not cooked to mushiness.   Monsieur had those same string beans, with meat loaf and mashed potatoes, while Ellen opted for the lamb short ribs, with the string beans, and spinach, which was crisp, not mushy.

                                                  While the portions are not overwhelming, they are ample, and that is a good thing, so when we were asked if we wanted desert, tempting as it might have been,  we just could not handle it.  But, girls, on this cold winter night, I just HAD to have my coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     The Little Kitchen Cafe is just so charming, and the food so good, it demands a visit.  If you live in the area, it's a must; if you are one of those venturesome New Yorkers who travel to other neighborhoods to sample the cuisine, it is worth putting on your itinerary.

                                                        Enchantee to you, too, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Saturday, January 26, 2013

Be There, Or Be Square, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Theater Queens across the Eastern seaboard--unite!  I have great news for you!  For one night--unfortunately, one night only (just like in "Dreamgirls," darlings!!!!) one of Musical Theater's most distinguished, and obscure, legends--Pamela Myers!!!!!--is going to be at 54 Below.  That night, loves is January 28, and I am telling you, we have all GOT to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Now, some  new to all this, may rightly ask--Who is Pamela Myers?????

                                             Who is Pamela Myers????????????  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Pamela Myers is the performer who, back in 1970 (when I was still kinda crawling around!!!!!!!!!!) originated the role of Marta in the Stephen Sondheim musical, "Company."  She shared the trio song, "You Could Drive A Person Crazy," with the late Susan Browning, and the Great Donna McKechnie, but it was her solo number, written exclusively for her, that carved out for Pamela a spot in Musical Theater Immortality.

                                                That song was "Another Hundred People (Just Got Off Of The Train)."  No one who has done it has been able to surpass Pamela's piercing tones, which, together with Sondheim's music, so perfectly caught the rhythm of life in New York City, then, and still maintains it now!  I recall reading, in either Gordon Hunt's or Michael Shurtleff's audition books, one of them asked Sondheim whose was the greatest audition he had ever seen.  Without hesitating, Sondheim answered back, "Pamela Myers."

                                                   Back then, Pamela was a fresh faced 20 something ingenue from Hamilton, Ohio, newly graduated from college.  She came to New York, auditioned for the show, and, according to Sondheim, it was not only her delivery, but her judicious selection of material, that got her the part!  According to Sondheim, she sang "Shy!", from the musical, "Once Upon A Mattress," with the kind of gusto she would eventually deliver in Marta's song,  Then she followed up with a soft, melting rendering of "God Didn't Make Little Green Apples."  Sondheim knew then he had to have her in the show, but, at the time, I don't think there was a character, or a song, for her.  He eventually wrote a song just for her.  And it was "Another Hundred People."

                                                   You know me, darlings!!!!  I have been practicing it for years--

                                        "Or they find each other in the crowded streets,
                                             and the guarded parks!
                                           By the rusty fountain, or the dusty trees,
                                              with the battered bark.
                                           Or they walk together, past the poster walls,
                                                with the crude remaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkksssssssss!"
But, lambs, not even I can match Pamela's piercing tones.

                                                    And this was brought home to me with a vengeance, in a kind of dream come true.  I never saw Pamela in "Company," but, in 2004, at a gala event called "GMHC Show Stoppers," for said organization, Pamela was one of the show stoppers!!!!  She came out, sang that song,
and every queen in the house, especially yours truly, went WILD, because they were seeing and hearing, standing before them, what they had grown up listening to!!!!!!  And the voice was just as clear and piercing as ever!!!!!!!!!!  If you closed your eyes, it was like listening to the Original Cast Album!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Pamela Myers has been working for years, but never with the conspicuousness she had in "Company."  So, for decades, one of the greatest questions, among Theater Queens, was, "What ever happened to Pamela Myers??????"

                                                      She didn't die, girls!!!!!!!!!  She has been out there among us, and we just haven't known it!  I don't know if this appearance signals some kind of renaissance for her, but I am certainly going to make every effort to be there!  You just KNOW she will sing "Another Hundred People," and I know she will sound just as spot-on as back in 1970!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       So, watch and learn, darlings!  And for my younger readers, pay close attention to your audition material!!!!  You want to get cast???? None of that "Spring Awakening," or "American Idiot" crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, look how Lea Michele has tanked!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Hope to see you on the 28th, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Despite The Bitter Cold, I Don't See Florida As An Option, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Back in the Sixties, darlings there were these TV ads by a man named Jim Dooley ,(who I think had had something to do with sports) who would espouse the glories of Florida, saying, famously, "Come on down!"  Thousands of my parents generation were seduced by Dooley's depiction of the Sunshine State as a living mecca,  and one of those was my late Uncle Tom, who, with his wife, and three children, moved to Florida, in the summer of 1968.  As my Aunt Agnes' siblings all got older, and retired, most of them (not my Uncle Jack, who, sadly died at a young 64 in 1980) made their way to Florida, eventually settling into a condo development, wherein they all dwelt, houses away from each other.

                                 So, against my choice, Florida was a part of my life for a long time.  It ended in the fall of 2011, when my father moved up north to Pennsylvania, at a facility near my sister's.

                                  In the face of this freezing cold weather, I have heard several pedestrians pining for Florida, but you want to know something?  I don't!  I admit the sun can be enjoyable (though unbearable in the Summer) but, if you are used to Northeastern life, there is no sophistication--no real culture, no anything, just miles of strip malls with ersatz summer wear.  Cuisine?  Forget it!!!!   You think you can get good Chinese Food in Florida???? Or Italian???? You are doing real good at home, with a can of Franco-American, compared to how they cook down there!

                                   Swaying palm trees???? Ocean breezes?  Darlings, if you thought Sandy was bad, think of the hurricanes they get down there--and yet people are still foolish enough (or maybe rich!!!!!!) to build, again and again, on the water.

                                      Jim Dooley was a bullshit quack, who sold a particular generation a precise Bill of Goods.  I cannot call it false, since countless flocked, and thought it was the greatest. But I cannot help noticing  how children of this "Florida Generation" do not follow in their parents wake, by going there.  When that generation goes, and, ultimately the Baby Boomers (some of whom keep up the myth!!!!!) I wonder what will happen to Florida?????  They keep talking about, writing songs about, California sinking into the sea, but, truth is, that state has more to offer.  Maybe when we are all gone, Florida will sink, or just drift off from the mainland, and by that time no one will be around to bemoan it.

                                          So, despite this bitter cold we are having, I will take it, over Florida!

                                           I know Connie Francis sang that was "Where The Boys Are," but she was talking about a two week, vacation limited, period, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!  Not a life sentence!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Besides, the state used to be associated with Anita Bryant! Enough said!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Insanity Wolf Is Back For A Third Time, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Now, honestly, girls, who would have expected Insanity Wolf to be back, let alone back so soon?  This is his third appearance on here in, about, two years, which would put the average at six month-plus intervals.  Good heavens, I hope they are not escalating.

                                   Three, they say, is the charm.  But, while I love the charming picture of Insanity Wolf, I hate dealing with him, in person.  As they say in baseball, three strikes and you're out (I learned that from "Damn Yankees," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!), so I am here to offer some tips.  Earlier today, on Yahoo, I read an article called "Ten Things Never To Say To Your Boss!"  I disagreed with about three of them.  So, with that in mind, I am going to present "Things To Say When Talking Back To Insanity Wolf!"

                                      1. Tell The Motherfucking Son-Of-A-Bitch Off!  Not in language that choice, but some suggestive retorts are--a.) "Don't you call me a liar!"
                                            b.) "Who the hell do you think you are?"
                                            c.) "Get off your high horse!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        2. If you don't have a blog, loves, document on paper every transgression, even if (maybe especially!!!!!!!) he has the temerity to criticize your fashion sense!  If you are reading this, then none of you have any cause to worry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          3. Let him know you have had it, and are not taking any more of his crap! Then talk to those preferably higher up, who are PAID to take his crap, but can give it right back to him!  And maybe put Insanity Wolf in his Anger Management Cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             4. Start marking the dates of his appearances, so you can build up a case against him.  And dare anyone to try and stop you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                5. Having been assured that changes will take place, wait and see.  If they do not, to your satisfaction, remind those whom you spoke with, you are expecting changes. And if they still do not happen, file a grievance--not against your higher ups, but against Insanity Wolf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  6. Confront him outright!!!!! "Are you bipolar?," you may ask.  Or--"Is the moon always full when you are around????????"

                                                    7. If the answer to the second question is, yes, think about using a silver bullet to rid yourself of the problem.  But do not allow yourself to be implicated in its use!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     8. Force the schmuck to watch the climax of the werewolf story in
"Trick r Treat," where Anna Paquin changes into a wolf before Dylan Baker's eyes while straddling him, and, instead of giving him an orgasm, tears him to pieces!!!!!!!!!! That should shut him up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       9. Point out his advanced age at every opportunity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     10.  Remind him his mortality rate is increasing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     And last, but not least, stay the hell away from him. Now, should these suggestions fail, or if there is a fourth encounter, ( which you know I will report!!!!!!!!!) send this sad lack of impulse control to a mental institution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Bedlam, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wouldn't This Be A Fabulous Idea, Dolls?????????

                                Several summers ago, my friend Tom, the cherub, and I visited the Land of Make Believe in Hope, New Jersey.  It coincided with our visit to Blairstown, regarding all things "Friday The 13th," (the towns are next to each other) and my favorite attraction, as seen above, was the Candy Cane Forest.  On the day we went, it was cloudy and overcast, so the darkened light gave more the illusion of being deep within a forest; it was not as summery bright as the photo would indicate.

                                 Vision of candy canes just dance in my head, girls, especially since one of the homeowners in our neighborhood, at 77th Street, (in Bay Ridge) before we get on the subway, still had some of their outdoor decorations on the lawn.  A deer was toppled over; very sad looking, but there was a candy cane stuck in the ground, which reminded me of the Land Of Make Believe, and which set in motion the idea I have for what I think would make a terrific theme park!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I am talking about the CandyLand Game Board!

                                     Just picture it, girls!!!!!!! Several acres of land, bedecked with colored squares, that you walk upon, with duplicate renderings of all the candied places seem on the board.  Now, because they will be in the outdoors all year, they cannot be really candied, but my idea is that in places where you can go inside--like the Peanut Brittle House, or the pineappled,. pink roofed house that ends the journey, real facsimiles of these candies can be sold inside and bought!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Is New Jersey the place for it?  I don't know, though there have been quite a few famous theme parks and attractions there, not to mention the famous Gingerbread Castle, which this could be viewed as an outgrowth of.

                                      To build this would take three things--a suitable location, planning and money!  Don't look at me for any!!!!!!!!!!!  Though I am willing to take credit as Creative Consultant, since I came up with this idea in the first place.

                                       The edition of CandyLand I had advertised it as "A sweet little game for sweet little folks."

                                         With a theme park, all folks, little and big, can partake, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gripping And Disturbing, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 "The Round House" is, I believe the third Louise Erdrich book I have read, and of that trio, I think it is the best.  A meditation on good and evil, the aftereffects of violence, the prosecutory issues of rape in the American Indian culture, even a veiled reference to the Sixties and the Kennedy assassination, the book is tremendous in scope for what is at heart a basic story--one's family's attempt to deal with the violent rape of its maternal figure in the Indian culture.

                                      On a North Dakota reservation, in 1988, Geraldine Coutts, wife of the tribal judge, has gone missing.  She is eventually found, behind the wheel in her car, beaten bloodily, and, when examined, sexually assaulted.

                                       Who did this, and why?  Her son, Joe, thirteen at the time, looks back on all this from the vantage point of his being a lawyer, years later (which may, understandably, lead some to compare it to "To Kill A Mockingbird," though Erdrich's writing style is distinctly different from Harper Lee's), with the remainder of the novel being the working out and resolving of this situation, which exposes some goings on within the community.  And the resolution may be pleasing to some, not so to others.

                                          Father Travis stands out as one of the story's great supporting characters.  A priest who, from the way he is described, might be dubbed "Father-What-A-Waste," he is a man of action, as well as of God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Like I said, I seem to be just reading my way through January.  Whatever month it is, I suggest all  you out there read this. If you have not experienced Louise Erdrich, this will give you the best sampling possible. She won the National Book Award for this!  And it will get you to read other of Erdrich's works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 But there is no Princess Tickle Feather here, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, We Have Ourselves A Semi-Celebrity Bitch This Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  As I have often said, Bitches Of The Week sometimes just come out of the proverbial left field.  And this one certainly did, as I only heard about this yesterday.

                                    Peter Robbins, winner for this week, is a name you may not know, while others of a certain age may sense a vague familiarity.  Which will be clear, when I explain.

                                      He is a former child actor.  Not a star, but an actor, who was known for one particular thing, and now has turned out a mess, like countless other kid performers who grow up.

                                        Everyone on here will immediately know him as the voice of Charlie Brown in the Sixties classic, "A Charlie Brown Christmas!"   I can still hear his voice, when the little tree topples off, and he says, "I've killed it! Augh! Everything I touch gets ruined!"  Poor Charlie Brown.  You really feel for him here.  And Peter Robbins did a great job, delineating him!

                                          Well, that was then, and this is now!

                                           He has grown up to be some kind of pig!  He reportedly paid a goodly amount for his current girl friend to have breast surgery--which I am sure he wanted enlarged.  Apparently, the surgeon did not do a good enough job, and he demanded a refund, (why? weren't the breasts large or perky enough for him???? Get an inflatable doll, you slime!!!!!!) which led to escalating violence against the surgeon.

                                             But that is not all!  He is further accused of stalking and menacing his girl friend?  Why, Peter?  Because you wanted D cups, not C???? Listen,  you schmuck, if you are genuinely interested in the girl, it is not about her tits, it is about her.  If it is about her attributes, then find someone else,  use a hooker, or, again, an inflatable doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              "Charlie Brown" has grown up into a real schmuck.  At least there were causes and reasons for Dana Plato's problems!

                                                   So I can think of no better winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, than Peter Robbins.  Charles Schultz must be spinning in his grave!

                                                     Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Farewell To Minxy Marla English!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Marla English was a good girl, who just got the wrong breaks.  According to what I read, her Paramount contract was attempting to make her their version of Elizabeth Taylor. And Marla certainly had some goods!  I mean, just look at her!  Darlings, this is how I want to spend my retirement, looking like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           But as we know, all too well, girls--and as you know from reading me--in Hollywood, there can be only ONE A-List Princess. And that was certainly Elizabeth Taylor. No one was going to dethrone her!!!!!!!!!!  For others--Marla, Faith Domergue, Dana Wynter, Irish McCalla--there was nowhere to go, but B, or even C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             However, Marla's glamorous presence was immortalized in two cheesy  1950's American-International Pictures productions--"The She Creature," in 1956.  and "Voodoo Woman," in 1957. The thing about both films is that what Marla morphs into in each is simply grotesque, though, being made by sexist straight men (or sometimes campy queens) these female monsters still managed to have..........chesty assets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Let's start with "The She-Creature," wherein, as the poster says, Marla is "reincarnated as a Monster from Hell!!!!!!!!!!!"  But, darlings, I ask you, look at the poster!!!!!!!! If you were going to be reincarnated, wouldn't you rather look like the figure on the right???????  In the white, diaphanous gown???????????  Though, I am telling you, when have you ever seen a female monster, with tits that large?????????  The She-Creature could have given Jane Russell a run for her money!!!!!!  Too bad Playtex didn't get the She Creature to do some of those 18 Hour Bra commercials!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 I guess Marla and monster tits on female monsters must have scored big for AIP, because the next year they released "Voodoo Woman," wherein, once again, glamorous Marla was converted into some ersatz creation with a bizarre hairstyle, and monster tits, to do the mad scientist's bidding.  Though, look at this monster!!!!!!!!!!  With that hair, height and tits, it seems more likely others are going to be doing her bidding!!!!!!!!!!!!   Bet that scientist gets killed, at the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    AIP got it right later that year, with "Blood Of Dracula," wherein Sandra Harrison, who, I believe, is still with us, is more glamorous looking in her monster make-up than as her actual self!!!!!!!  Now that 56 years have passed, I wonder if Sandra, today, puts that monster make-up on every morning???????????????

                                                    But when she wasn't a monster, Marla was quite striking. She died a month ago, on December 10, of cancer, at the age of 77.  But as long as DVDs and TV stations run "The She-Creature" and "Voodoo Woman," and horror mavens of all ages and types gather to watch, Marla English will live on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     If only I could adopt her California Look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Am Telling You, You Had Better Be Prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Girls, what a day our one day holiday turned out to be!  After a medical test for Monsieur that put us on the street by 8 AM, we had breakfast at a diner nearby, then trekked down to the East Village, where we saw an 11 AM screening of a film both of us have been wanting to see for a long time--"The Master."

                                              Now, the first thing I want to say is I cannot remember the last time I was in a movie theater at 11 AM.  On a non-work day, usually  I am still sipping coffee, fielding phone calls and fan mail, or trying to decide what I am going to wear that day.  As if I were Slim Keith, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                "The Master" is a weird movie!  It is full of poetic imagery and symbolism--lots of images of water cascading out from beneath ships, and sculpted sand breasts on beaches-- but I wish Paul Thomas Anderson had concentrated more on his script than visual composition. He gets superb performances by the Oscar nominated Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Miss Amy Adams, and a superb minor bit from Laura Dern (and where the hell has she been????) that are fascinating to watch, but the characters they are struggling to maintain, and the story they are trying to fit into is mired by Anderson, who is so determined to make a movie that forces one to think, to ask questions, that it fails to give enough, let alone, easy answers.

                                                      This is almost the counterpart to "Les Miserables." That film is filled with characters you have empathy and compassion for. The ones here are utterly despicable, except maybe for the woman enacted by Laura Dern, whose illusions are wiped out by a single act of unkindness.

                                                     Maybe this is just what I was not expecting.  What I was expecting was a character study, and a collision of personalities, when someone starts questioning the practices of this cultist movement called, in the movie, the Cause, but which is obviously a stand in for such things as Diannetics, EST, Scientology, and the Landmark Forum.  I lost a good friend to the last, so the idea of a film where someone destroys one of these organizations was very appealing and satisfying sounding to me.  But that is not what "The Master" is.  I am not sure, in fact, what "The Master" is, or if the movie is sure. It really does not go anywhere.

                                                        Which may account for, in its initial run, I missed it, as it seemed to vanish so fast.   With good reason; but now that its lead players have all been Oscar nominated, those like I who missed it the first time can finally have a look.

                                                           But, darlings, there is something I have GOT to prepare you for, because, oh my God, I almost had a heart attack when I first saw it.  No one told me much about the movie at all, and no one certainly told me about the scene I am to relate.

                                                             Amy Adams, looking as lovely as ever, is brilliant as Peggy Dodd, married to guru Lancaster Dodd (Hoffman) is absolutely brilliant. But this is not our pert and perky Amy, girls!!!!!!!!!  I would compare Peggy Dodd to Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Eleanor Shaw Iselin in "The Manchurian Candidate" (1962).  Though Amy goes Mrs. Iselin one better. Or, wait, let me take that back, I am certain Mrs. Iselin did the same thing to her son, Raymond Shaw, played by Laurence Harvey. It's just that such things could not  be depicted on screen, back in 1962.

                                                                    Well, now they can, and, girls, I don't know how to say it any other way, so I will come out with it, and then explain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                        Amy Adams performs a hand job on Philip Seymour Hoffman!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                         I know, I know, it is SHOCKING!  I mean, it's as bad as if Hayley Mills.....God, forgive me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                          I was so shocked it took me a couple of minutes into the scene to realize what was actually going on. It is clear, but not graphic, and I am sure Amy really wasn't...I certainly hope not, because ewwwwwwwwwwwww!  I mean, Philip Seymour Hoffman?????   I'd sooner have a root canal!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                            The scene, however is important, because it turns out to be not so much an erotic gesture as one of sadistic control.  Peggy rules this house, honey, and you better believe it, as she lays down the riot act for what her husband, named Lancaster,  can and cannot do, and what she had better not find out about!!!!!!!!!!!  Talk about having a guy by the balls!!!!!!!!!!!!  Literally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                But I have to ask, what is it with Philip Seymour Hoffman???? Why does he permit himself to be sexually humiliated on film???????  He is a good actor, though I feel he is overrated, and, let's face it, he is not much to look at.  Several years back, he made a wonderful film that was neglected, called "Before The Devil Knows You're Dead."  He played a real slime bucket, which is perfect for him, as he looks like one, anyway!!!!!!!!!  Well, the opening shot of this film is--again, prepare yourselves, dears--the image of his naked back side on a bed, as he is furiously banging Marisa Tomei from behind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can still recall there were audience members who screamed in distaste!!!!!!!!!!  And I don't blame them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                  I mean, what is up with you, Philip?????? What is next, the film version of Edward Albee's "The Goat, Or Who Is Sylvia?." with Hoffman doing a tasteful banging of the goat???????????   I swear, I will run right up the aisle!!!!!!!!!!  Better yet, I won't go. That play, on stage, was enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                    Another thing--how come this film did not get an NC-17 rating????????  I thought anytime there was female frontal nudity it was a given??????  Well, in this fantasy scene of Joaquin  Phoenix, there are so many naked women on camera showing all they've got, and not all are young and pretty!!!!!!!!!!   I have to give these gals credit for doing a scene like this, because you won't find me doing anything like this. Yet this film, I believe, got a R rating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                    And these are not even the questions I should be addressing in assessing "The Master." But when confronted with such sights, what is one supposed to do???????

                                                                                      So, be  on your guard, girls, if you go!!!!!!!!
And, I am telling you, if you need a drink or two afterwards, to get this out of your head, then, by all means, go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                       And please, PLEASE Philip, stop showing us your body!!!!!!!!!!!  I am sick and tired of looking at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!