Monday, November 30, 2015

Bye, Bye, November!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              It has been quite a month, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   From All Saints Day to Thanksgiving!  From "An American In Paris," to "Gone With The Wind" on stage, plus Cujo,
Jacinta, and all the other happenings this month, it has been quite a November.  It figures my natal month would have a lot of drama.  I do not think I am a Drama Queen--not all the time, at least--but, believe me, I can attract it.

                                So, it has been some November.  A sweet November, but not like Sandy Dennis.

                                 And you know what month is coming next. The biggest month of all, at least in potential posts, what with what I have got planned, and the year end wrap ups.

                                   It was quite an eleventh month!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Here's to a happy rounding out of the twelfth month!

                                   See you in December, kids!



Oh, My God, Darlings, When The Lights Went Down, And The Max Steiner Music Started, I Began To Sob Copiously........

                             .....Ending with a puddle of tears on the floor around me, four hours later. A veritable Pool Of Tears, like "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland."

                              The reason viewing "Gone With The Wind" is such a draining,and visceral experience for those of us devotees is that, while doing so, two separate sets of lives are being lived. One is the story of the characters on  screen, as  well as those of us devotees in the audience, whom, through watching Scarlett's experiences, relive, with her, some of our most difficult and trying times. And in the process enables us to somehow get through them.  Of course, I am speaking for myself here; this is why I keep coming back to it--and only on the screen, which is where it can only be fully appreciated. Those who have never seen this film on the screen have never seen it at all.

                               The sad thing for me to realize is this could be my last viewing of the film. Prior to yesterday's screening, at the Film Forum, I saw it there nine years before, in 2006.  There was not a single observation in Manhattan or elsewhere of the film's 75th Anniversary, last year--same for "The Wizard Of Oz."  While the house was filled, it was not sold out. Nor was the audience what I would call a "Gone With The Wind" audience; viewers who are impolitely named "Windies," but who I would think would be better labeled as "Plantation Princesses," "Daughters Of The South," or "Scarlett's Sisters."

                                Because  a true audience for this film knows rules for viewing it And,with altogether too few exceptions, none of these rules were observed.

                                  What are they?  Well---

                                    1. As the title flashes across the screen, there is spontaneous applause.
                                    2. When Vivien Leigh's name is first credited, there is applause.
                                    3. The same with Olivia De Havilland.
                                    4. You must applause when it says "Produced by David O. Selznick.
                                     5. There is thunderous applause when the credits read "Music by
                                             Max Steiner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
                                    6.  When the camera first zeroes in on Vivien Leigh as Scarlett, there
                                             is applause.
                                    7.   Applause is also required of Hattie McDaniel's first appearance
                                              as Mammy, from the upstairs window.
                                     8.  Tremulous sighing and sobbing as Gerald (Thomas Mitchell)
                                              intones the value of the land to Scarlett, as the camera
                                           pulls back, and the music swells.
                                     9.   Sighing with tremulous recognition at the first appearance of
                                               Olivia De Havilland as Melanie.
                                   10.    Spontaneous applause over the track in shot to Clark Gable
                                                as Rhett Butler.
                                    11.    Empathizing with Scarlett's fiery nature, during her first
                                                 encounter with Rhett, after the vase is broken.
                                     12.    Recognizing ourselves in Scarlett when everyone runs down the
                                                 stairs, to the war, and she walks away from it, in that incredible
                                               camera sweep.
                                      13.   Trembling with anguish as Melanie clings to Ashley, as he rides off
                                                  to war.
                                      14.    Spontaneous applause at the first appearance of Aunt Pittypat (Laura
                                                   Hope Crewes).
                                      15.    Tears as the crowds wait and receive results in the Casualties List scene.
                                      17.    Applause at Aunt Pittypat fleeing town with her hat box.
                                      18.    Suffering with anguish as Scarlett lives through the birth of Melanie's
                                                  baby. Not to mention Melanie.
                                       19.    The panoramic railroad station scene, beginning with a close-up of
                                                    Scarlett, and the horror on her face, as she realizes Dr, Meade
                                                 cannot help.
                                      20.  The journey back to Tara, sobbing as Scarlett beats the horse dead.
                                       21. Tears as the moon shines on the still standing Tara.
                                       22.   Tears as the audience realizes all is not right with Gerald, as he
                                                    answers the door.
                                       23.   Tears during Mammy's speech as she relates what happened to Miss
                                                   Ellen, Scarlett's mother.
                                       24.    Scream with Scarlett, as she faints at the sight of her mother.
                                       25.    At the first shot of Scarlett in the fields at dawn, get out the tissues.
                                       26.    As  Scarlett slowly arises to the music, begin sobbing. When she
                                                  finishes her speech, and the music swells, unleash all the sobbing
                                                that has been held in these past two hours.  This what true devotees
                                        27.   Relate to Suellen in the fields, with her broken back.
                                        27. Applaud Scarlett as she coolly appraises the Yankee, then shoots him.
                                        28. Applaud Melanie, who stands ready to kill, then lies for Scarlett.
                                        29. When Emmy Slattery arrives,  intone those words with Scarlett--
                                                  "Get off these steps, you trashy wench! Get off this land!"
                                        30.  Applause when Scarlett throws the dirt in Jonas Wilkerson's
                                                    (Victory Jory) face.
                                         31. Visual awe of the matte painting in the background, and that shot, as
                                                   Melanie runs to the path to meet Ashley.
                                          32. Tears as the music swells during Ashley's and Melanie's reunion.
                                          33. Swoon when Rhett proposes to Scarlett.
                                          34. Tears throughout the marriage, Scarlett thoughtlessly treats Rhett.
                                          35. Melanie's party--the look on Olivia De Havilland's face, where
                                                    she could either choke Scarlett or embrace her. And that
                                                 dress Scarlett is wearing.  I want it, and the green Twelve
                                                 Oaks dress.
                                            36. Applause during Mammy's petticoat scene.
                                            37. Sadness on the look at Belle Watling's face after Rhett leaves.
                                                   Brilliant acting by Ona Munson.  Is Belle's boy, by Rhett?
                                             38. Bonnie wanting to go home, indicating the future importance
                                                      of the land to her, and that she WOULD have been
                                                    Scarlett's daughter.
                                               39. Sobbing at Bonnie's death. From the moment she appears on
                                                      the pony, what is coming is made clear, and so sob all
                                                40. Melanie's fainting after talking to Rhett, signalling more tears.
                                                41. Tears as Scarlett and Melanie say goodbye. One of the saddest
                                                         deaths in film.
                                                42. Rhett walking out on Scarlett. She has broken him, and one sobs
                                                          in sorrow for them both.
                                                43.  Rhett leaves, Scarlett sobs, then rallies, as we know she will return
                                                           to Tara and survive, and so will we.
                                                 44. As Scarlett stands in the sunset, with Tara behind her, and "The
                                                         End" appears, mounting sobs letting out emotional
                                                       tension, as we know that we must struggle to survive.
                                                  45. Try to gather your senses, and have someone with you,
                                                           to carry you out, so you do not faint during this emotional

                                This is my journey, as I watch "Gone With The Wind," and I am sure many echo my sentiments. Just a few minor things to wrap up.

                                  I would have slapped Prissy, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                  When Scarlett finally realizes that Gerald is unstable, it is heartbreaking.
                                   That scene with Melanie and Mammy walking up the stairs, as the latter explains what has been going on in the house, since Bonnie's death.  Let your tears out here, darlings, and know, that, in addition to everything else, THIS scene is what won Hattie McDaniel her Oscar!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   What a way to end a Thanksgiving vacation. Hopefully, I will live to see another viewing!  With a more appreciative audience.


Sunday, November 29, 2015

This Show Is Not Delivering The Goods, Like It Used To!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    What has happened to "A Crime To Remember?"  This show used to be so cutting edge dramatic, with its period recreation, and complete coverage of cases some of us, like myself, recall from childhood.  They did such a good job on Alice Crimmins and Kitty Genovese that it breaks my heart to see how far this show has sunk.

                                       Last time I wrote, they did the Roseann Quinn case, which was the basis for Judith Rossner's novel, "Looking For Mr. Goodbar," which became an acting triumph for Diane Keaton, in the film.  In the novel, you learned a lot, since so much was based on Quinn.  On this program, it was just the bare facts. I did not learn a single new thing.

                                         I thought it was a fluke.  But it was the same with Richard Speck.  Sure, it told of him breaking into a town house where eight nurses resided, near South Chicago Community Hospital, on July 14, 1966, (which was Bastille Day!!!!!!!!!!)  but I knew that ever since it was covered in the newspapers, when I was all of 11.  I wanted to learn about who Speck was, his upbringing, what issues he had with women (because, I can tell you, darlings, for him to have done this, and singlehandedly) he had to have some strong issues.  Was he a serial killer in the making?  Would he kill again?  What about the victims' families??????????????

                                      Instead, all we got was the tale of some mid-twenties cockeyed sailor drifter, who, in a drug and alcohol fueled fit of rage, did this historic crime.  As if there was no more to it than that.  Bull shit!  There was, and no one working on this show's season is interested in exploring matters deeply.

                                        A pity, because, up to now, this had been Investigation Discovery's crowned jewel.  Now it is sinking faster than the Titanic!

                                          I think my idea is better.

                                          A musical version of the whole thing, maybe called "The Nurses!"  The lights go down, a chorus of eight nurses does a kick line on stage, dressed in nurses uniforms, but with make-up to indicate they are dead, and singing the 'New Faces' theme--

                                             "You've never seen us before!
                                               We've never seen you before !"

                                          Now, THAT would garner some attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Girl Has To Watch Her Reputation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Well, girls, we are back--we got in yesterday afternoon, around 2PM, but let me tell you, we almost came home earlier.

                              It was not your typical Thanksgiving.  Wednesday evening, I noticed my sister's  toilet was not flushing right. Then, on Thursday morning, our holiday was almost cancelled because there was a problem with clogging in the pipes, and oh my God, no showers, hair washing; I mean, glamour is one thing, but no HYGIENE?????????????   I cannot live like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Happily, things worked out, and we celebrated Thanksgiving.  In a heavily Catholic and Republican state.  Now, with the state being so Catholic, would you believe I could not find a statue of Jacinta Marto to throw myself upon, asking for mercy???????????

                               Even more terrifying was the prospect we faced at one point of having to go to a hotel!!!!!!!!!  Oh, girls, the shame of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME, The Raving Queen, spending the holiday in a by-the- highway hotel, right next to a (gasp!) Bob Evans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I was ready to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                And then, on Friday, when we took my father out for dinner, where did we end up????  Cracker Barrel!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you believe it?????????  These places are racist and homophobic, yet the merchandisers cannot tell the difference.  Because when I walked in, the most flaming queen, and from New York, to boot, I was served!  As I damn well should be!  The only thing that suffered was my stomach and my reputation!

                                  A girl simply cannot be seen in places like this!!!!!!!!!!!  Once you get outside of New York, you run this risk!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   It's like what Cathleen Calvert said to Scarlett on the Twelve Oaks stairs in "Gone With The Wind"--

                                    "No...but she was ruined just the same!"

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

November Is National Blog Post Month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            With my blogging becoming as much an addiction as pleasure and career advancement, the notion of thirty posts in thirty days is just ridiculous to me, because, even in my worst months, I do better than that.

                              Anyway, this is just a quick general post, to remind my girls of the above, and to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, as I will be off here for the next few days.

                                 Yesterday, I was running all over the city, trying to feel like I was Cate Blanchett in "Carol," but without that camel coat and Fifties get up, how could I possibly pull that off??????  Looks like, when this film comes out, and we all see it, lots of  us will be re-evaluating our closets.  For those who may be still stuck in one, what the hell is the matter with you, anyway?????????

                                   I think that was Richard Speck's problem, as I will report, when I return on last night's episode of "A Crime Top Remember," covering the famous 1966 murder of eight nurses in Chicago.  I have plenty to say on that one, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    And no "American Horror Story--Hotel" this week.  And, ironically, Thanksgiving is the only Thursday where I do not do my Bitch Of The Week column.  But that does not mean the bitches are not out there.

                                     So, have a Happy and safe Thanksgiving, everyone!!!!!!!!!  Remember to look your best, like "Carol," and behave yourselves, because of "Krampus!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                       This Holiday Season should be a laugh riot, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  See you soon!

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Where Does One Go, After Seeing An Allegedly Catholic Movie?????????? Why, A Kosher Restaurant, Of Course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            I had forgotten to write about the wonderful discovery that is the B and H restaurant, in the East Village.  My beloved and I, plus our friends Judy and Auntie Alvin, went to it after we saw the film "Spotlight."  How is that for secularity, darlings??????????????????

                            Remember my post--or posts, maybe--on Christine Pedi as Liza trying to save the Edison Cafe????????  Well, in a sense, that place has been save, as the cuisine down here, on Second Avenue, almost matches, in taste and selection, that much more spacious uptown establishment.

                             Space is at a premium here; it is so narrow inside the obese, to paraphrase Shirley Jackson, do not walk alone.  We had to sit at the counter, girls!!!!!!!!!!  Can you imagine it????????  ME, The Raving Queen, sitting at a COUNTER?????????  I only do that, when I am trying to get discovered, like Lana Turner.  And, believe me, good as the food and service are here, this is not the place for that!!!!!!!!!!

                                I finally had my kasha varnishkes, and I just LOVED it!!!!!!!!!!!  With mushroom gravy, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I felt so Jewish coming out of there, I was ready to do a Streisand concert.  But  the seriousness of the film we just saw was still with me.

                                 So, for those who miss the Edison, rest assured, a reasonable facsimile is still in operation on Second Avenue, in the East Village.  When your taste buds run to Kosher dairy, seek B and H out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    And NO, darlings, it does not stand for Bondage And Humiliation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is What Season Three Should Have Kicked Off With!!!!!!!!!!!!! But How Much Did We Actually Learn???????????????

                                    Though the Roseann Quinn case, better known than that Gaffney Strangler thing, should have been the lead-in to this series' third season, I really did not learn more about the case, and already knew.

                                     Judith Rossner's 1975 novel, "Looking For Mr. Goodbar," which, while fictionalized, is the reason some of us know this case so well, was mentioned so many times I thought it was, pardon the pun, overkill.  But, maybe the program aimed at an audience who did not know much about this now 42 year old case.

                                   As one who does, I learned nothing new.  What I hoped it would explore were Quinn's psychological underpinnings that caused her to seek out this dangerous, then revolutionary, and addictive life style.  Some would have called Roseann, or her fictional alter ego, Theresa Dunn, a sex addict.

                                   What led to that was a repressive childhood in Jersey, coupled with a difficult illness from which she never quite recovered, physically, or mentally.  The program did touch on this, but  never enough to explain how this specifically crushed her self esteem, driving her towards bad boys who would use and abuse her, rather than potential life partners.  Which she was uninterested in, as she seemed, at the time, incapable of emotional intimacy.

                                    There are enough straight nuts out there who could have been the killer.  But, to the ill luck of the gay community, she was done in by John Wayne Wilson, a closeted, self-hating homosexual.  Just what the gays need--a hypocritical member of our own is responsible for one of Manhattan's most famous murders.  That was not too closely explored, either.

                                     The episode could have been entitled "Goodbar 101," for all the in-depth investigating that was done on the case.  More was learned from the Kitty Genovese and Alice Crimmins case than this one.

                                        I wonder if any of Quinn's relations are still living?  Maybe they were not interested in re-living this--and I can understand why--but having some personal observations might have added some new insights into the case, which this segment badly needed.

                                        And, girls, especially those out there  still young enough, remember--one's chances for survival are better if you go to their place, not yours..  But don't let youthful wildness or searching lead you down Roseann's path.  There were others, not so famous--I knew a gay version of the case, from 1983; a coworker who had been murdered in his bed--who ended up the same way.

                                        Heed the lesson Roseann still teaches, dolls!   Stick to tea, and Jane Austen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Monday, November 23, 2015

Let's Have A Krampus Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Now, don't think, for a second, that I am giving up my romantic Yule Tide, Catholic yearnings!  I am going to try and do a December Advent calendar on this blog, like I started, last year, but I have decided to add a new tradition, by doing a counterpart image of Krampus, for a Krampus Christmas for all my loving bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 With all the writing and posting to do, I should taker the whole month of December off!  I wish I could!  Or retire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  In any case, I am going to try and do my best, so wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   And Merry Krampus, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Want A Krampus Doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     You have to admit, he is kind of cute!  I am not sure if Baby Gojira would approve, but I would never put Krampus near him!!!!!!!!!!  But mark my words, come December 4, THIS is going to be the hottest Christmas item of the Season!  I can't wait to have my own!

                                      When was the last time you saw a tongue that long???????????  No, girls and boys, I am NOT going there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Put a Krampus doll on YOUR Christmas wish list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Meanwhile, take a look at this video, where Christoph Waltz explains the whole thing to Jimmy Fallon--and they play with dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Monster Is Hung Like A Horse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Now, girls, I am sure many of you read my post on the upcoming film, "Krampus," which is to be released on December 4.   This could signal either the arrival of an unconventional Christmas camp classic, or the demise of Toni Collette's career.  My guess is a little bit of both.

                                However, until I began investigating this upcoming film, (and I have known about the Krampus legend since second grade, thanks to my being precocious and perverse, and Mrs. Beinhower having a half way decent library!!!!!!!!) I had no idea there had already been so many Krampus movies.

                                 Already, Krampus has enough behind him to be a cottage industry.  And, I am telling you, once December 4 comes, he will be.

                                  Consider this--there is the upcoming film we are all waiting for.  There is also the film to be discussed here--"Krampus--The Reckoning," which was supposedly released on November 3, but, outside of downloads and YouTube, I had never seen, nor am I sure if it ever saw the inside of any movie theater.  A pity, as will soon be found out.  There is  also "Krampus--The Christmas Devil," from 2013, and something to be released next year, called "Krampus--The Devil Returns," and, lastly, in 2012, there was a movie entitled simply, "Krampus."

                                  If you have never seen "Krampus--The Reckoning," you should, because I think it is going to give the forthcoming film much to live up to.  This film is both brilliant and perverse.  It is a combination of morality tale, revenge seeking, childhood Gothic, and sex romp, with the hottest and most hung monster seen yet, (not excluding the X-rated King Kong in the film "King Dong" (1985)) as well as a really hot detective, named Miles O'Connor, played by James Ray, whose naked ass steals the scene!  I am not kidding, darlings!

                                   By the way, an actor here named William "Bill" Connor plays two roles--the title role of Krampus.  And Brian, the bartender.  He IS a big guy!  And wait till you see him in that goat get up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 "Krampus--The Reckoning" begins brillinatly, in some indistinct past, whose bright colors and muted lighting, sugggest an outtake from "Meet Me Ibn St. Louis."  A grandmother (played by an actress named Karen Rolston, in the scariest manner this side of Uta Hagen as Ada in "The Other" (1972) is seated in a rocking chair in a corner, her granddaughter at her feet.  They begin talking about Christmas, and  Granny shows the girl an ancient book, detailing the Krampus legend.  She, in turn, shows Granny a drawing of her family, and when the elder asks why she did not include her sister, the girl intones "There was no room for her on the paper."

                                   Aha!!!!!!!!  This kid has issues with her sister.  So, you know what that means, right???????   Well, the film does have an evil child...but not the one you may think it is,

                                     Now, this is the part of the post where I warn readers to stop reading, if you want to avoid the spoiler.  If you don't, allow me to continue.

                                    First, let us talk about Amelia Haberman, and her brilliant performance here, as Zoe Weaver, the child who brings Krampus into the present.  She has a Krampus doll--which we all want, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  Amelia does a cross between Linda Blair in "The Exorcist" and Patty Duke in "The Miracle Worker" that makes me think she may be the only one from this film who will go anywhere. Just look at that stare!  Not since Patty McCormack in "The Bad Seed" has there been such evil.

                                      People have a way of dying when Zoe is around.   Her foster parents, the Hoelzers, are the first to go; as much for their abusive treatment of Zoe as their being too ugly to be photographed having sex.  That's right, darlings, this film has so much sex--titties everywhere!!!!--it was obviously made for horny teens, male homosexuals, and sex addicts!!!!!!!!!! That James Ray, yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Even Monica Engesser, as Dr. Rachel Stewart, who, with James Ray as Miles, is trying to help crack Zoe's secret, shows her boobies--but does she deserve to die for this?  No, but she DOES deserve to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Are you ready for WHY, girls????????????

                                           Zoe is actually a ghost who died 23 years before, back in 1992.  Her parents, the Weavers, had another daughteer Rachel, adopted, who is the girl seen at the beginning, and who, I felt, killed her sister.  Well, she did, but I did not realize Zoe was the sister.  Not only did Rachel, playing cute with Krampus, kill Zoe, but her entire family.  So, Zoe's spirit trails Rachel down through the decades, getting rid of bad folk along the way, until it is Rachel's time.  And when it is--oh, boy, does that bitch get what she deserves!!!!!!!!  Good for you, Zoe!  Hey,  Zoe; gotta minute????  I have a list for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         At least Rachel's adopted son, Lamaar, survives.  But what kind of parent names a kid Lamaar??? Maybe two queens adopting today, who want to pay homage to Hedy Lamarr.

                                           You just have to see this one, darlings!  If you want a film where those who deserve to die do, and you can just sit back and laugh, "Krampus--The Reckoning" is one hell of a Christmas gift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Don't cramp Krampus' style, dolls!  He is sure to be Big Man On Campus!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Here is the full movie, if you have time, girls!!!!!!!!!!  Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who Would Have Thought It Was About A Woman Finding Fulfillment Being A Fag Hag?????????????????

                              Yesterday, my beloved and I, as my birthday gift, went to see Christopher Wheeldon (who directed and choreographed!!!!!!!!) stunning re- imagining of the classic MGM musical, "An American In Paris,"

                               Now, I have not really seen the entire film, since my teens.  And I think the only exposure I have had to it, in recent times, has been watching the centerpiece, climactic ballet number of the same name, featured in the 1974 documentary, "That's Entertainment!!!!!!!!!!"

                                I remember the film starring, of course, Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron, who danced the hell out of the musical numbers.  There was Nina Foch as a glamorous patron of the arts, looking only as glamorous as Nina Foch could, plus Oscar Levant as an aspiring musician, and someone named Georges Guetary, who played Henri Baurel.  The film was a simple excuse to incorporate music and dance surrounding some evergreen Gershwin works, most notably the instrumental piece that gives the film its name.  The film was visually gorgeous; a sumptuous confection.  It also, if viewed historically, could be seen as a "concept musical" film, which would evolve into artistry on Broadway by such masters as Jerome Robbins, and, especially, Michael Bennett.

                              This production is gorgeous; between the score, the dancing and Bob Crowley's production design, (both sets and costumes) with heavy reliance on the color blue, this show does that more for Paris, and that color, bringing audiences back to a romantic yearning for that city's elegance, at a time when it needs such so badly.  I can't say enough how oddly prescient it was to see this show, following the Paris attacks, and the moving address to them the cast gave at the show's end.

                               But who would have thought Lise, the Leslie Caron character, would have been an orphan hidden from the Nazis, because his parents knew hers; her  father having been their butler.  The dance ability she inherits from her mother.  Who thought Henri was some closet case, who comes out to Milo Davenport, played by Jill Paice, who does find fulfillment in being a fag hag?  Played by Max von Essen, Henri is the hottest musical figure to hit the stage since Jason Danieley.  As a gay character, he will do well on that market.

                               This is how the show has been re- imagined dramatically, giving it a resonance the film lacked, and, amazingly, keeping it in its own time, while bringing it up to ours.  It is skillfully rendered by all.  The whole thing plays like an extended ballet piece, and is at its best when Robert Fairchild, in the Gene Kelly role of Jerry Mulligan, and Leanne Cope, in the Leslie Caron role of Lise Dassin, are doing their exquisite pas de deuxs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh, my God, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It makes you want to dance and breathe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 If any Theater Queens have not seen this yet, they better.  I f there are some who don't, then what is the matter with you, anyway????????????   This is probably the most captivating show I have seen all year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Vive la France, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Confessions Of A Bubble Wrap Addict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Now, you all know how much I love Madame Defarge.  The thought of pearl knitting as heads roll has always been a favorite idea with me, but I have to be honest, I do not have her knitting skill. Never mind we are no longer in the French Revolutionary period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               However, recently I have discovered something I have been doing for years now gives me the same satisfaction as Madame Defarge.  And that is popping bubble wrap.

                                I prefer the small kind, because it can be held delicately between the fingers, making me feel like I am Madame Defarge knitting.  As I pop the bubbles, they sound like miniature bullets, which is somewhat satisfying, too.  Who would have thought such idiocy could be so satisfying!

                                 It seems today is the Age Of Addictions.  Everyone is addicted to something.  Give me a cup of coffee to inject caffeine into my bloodstream, and seat me beside a window, with a role of small bubbled bubble wrap, that I can hold, and knit, by popping, like Madame Defarge, and I am on a rainbow high, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, it is pure Jane Austen or Charlotte Bronte.  I can feel like Lucy Snow.!!!!!!!!!!

                                  So, if any of you out hthere are pondering Christmas gifts for me, let me say, right now, a nice roll of bubble wrap would do me just fine!

                                    Pop goes the bubble, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is The Film We Just HAVE to See, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Oh, my God darlings....the pillbox hats, the muted lighting, the Cecil Beaton style wallpaper, the table lamps on white linen tablecloths with dim lighting that women wearing camel hair coats flock to.....all these details, the Fifties glamour that some of us--ME, darlings!!!!!!!--still yearn for, are being poured by Todd Haynes into his new film, "Carol."  Considering what a job he did on "Far From Heaven," I have GOT to see this one, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             First of all, it has Cate Blanchett, playing a Fifties suburban matron.  She is one of those actresses, like Julianne Moore, who can convincingly pull that off.  This film also has Rooney Mara, doing a dead on Audrey Hepburn, Fifties ingenue impersonation, that is also convincing.

                             And, like "Far From Heaven," "Carol" involves a social scandal that was verboten in its time, but just fine for today.  Like Julianne and her Black gardener in the earlier film, Cate and Rooney are trapped here in a love that dare not speak its name.

                               But who cares, darlings, when everything looks so gorgeous???????  Look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Adding to all this, the film comes with an excellent pedigree!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is based on the novel "The Price Of Salt," which was something of a scandal in its time.  I mean, shades of Lillian Hellman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  A writer named Claire Morgan, but who really was Patricia Highsmith, published this, back in 1952, under a pseudonym originally, because it was felt the book would mar her reputation.  More people--and I am one--know the book as "The Price Of Salt"--a title I felt should have  been kept--though it has been published as "Carol" over the years, as well.

                        I can't tell you how the quality of the film is, as  I have not seen it, yet. But, my beloved and I are so anxious to!!!!!!!!!  I can tell you, we will be wearing our fur coats and white gloves and pillbox hats when we go!  Then we will go for a hair appointment with Ariette, and then to tea at the St. Regis!!!!!!!!!!

                          See you there, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                      

Carly Simon Opens Up About "You're So Vain".......Sort Of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            "You had me several years ago,
                                              When I was still quite naive.
                                              Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair,
                                              And that you would never leave.
                                              But you gave away the things you love,
                                              And one of them was me.
                                              I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee,
                                              Clouds in my coffee, and....."
                                                --You're So Vain," Carly Simon, November 1972

                                   First of all, darlings, can you believe that Carly Simon is 70??????????  I mean, how can such a thing be possible???????????   We should all look as good as Carly, at that age, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Hell, she's aged better than Warren Beatty, who is now 78.  Let's get to him.

                                     When "You're So Vain" first appeared on the charts, in November of 1972--my, God, I was still in high school!!!!!!!!!!--it became a hit, but also a mystery, and a mantra.  The mystery, of course, was who was the song about--and it came down to three people--Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, and James Taylor.  Now, in the back up, particularly those high "You're so vain's......"  you can clearly hear Jagger.  I always favored Warren Beatty myself.

                                      In August of 2003, Dick Ebersol, then president of NBC Sports, was invited to dinner at Carly's Martha's Vineyard place--wouldn't we love to go  there, darlings???????--where Carly revealed the answer so many of us had been seeking.  She even  allowed him to give everyone a clue.  And the clue was this--"The letter E is in the person's name."

                                      Well, lambs, that includes the three men mentioned above.  But, before going there, let us get into the song as a mantra.  As it grew in popularity and durability over the years, becoming Carly's signature song, many of us, myself included, would use it as an emotional balm to get us through our own bad relationships.  Listen, it was cheaper than therapy.  I can recall a time, back in 2008, where I was blasting it out every morning, and belting it out myself.  And, yes, it did help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I have also wondered who that song would be about, if it were I who wrote it.  I had my  wild time, like Carly, but no one that important.  And you couldn't pay me to sleep with Warren Beatty!  Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Now, Carly has opened up about the song once more, claiming that my favorite verse, the one ending with "clouds in my coffee," is, indeed, about Warrren.  The other two verses supposedly involve other men, who remain anonymous, but let me tell you, hons--it is ALL Warren, and unless Carly calls me to have breakfast with her one morning at Sarabeth's, I am sticking to that.

                                         I mean, "the hat strategically dipped below one eye," the apricot scarf, the yacht, the Lear Jet--who else could it be???????????  Only Warren Beatty, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         "Son of a gun" dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           And here is Carly, with the classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 22, 2015

"You Ought To Be In Pictures......" NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              The recent episode should have been called the above, because the whole back story of The Countess was a metaphor for Lady Gaga's-- excuse me, that is Lady Gag Reflex!!!!!!!--career.

                                She plays some trollop from Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, who comes out to Hollywood to try to make it.  Now, many Broolynites did make it--Barbara Stanwyck, Susan Hayward, and BARBRA--but you can tell right away Lady G is one step below Elizabeth Short in the acting department.  If your best movie shot is as an extra in a Valentino epic, you may be getting paid, dear, but you career is headed no farther than the casting couch.

                                Even with that menage a trois thing between Valentino and that woman who was with him?????  Was she supposed to be Nazimova????????  No, she is Natacha Rambova!!!!!!  Anyway, imagine Finn Wittrock as Valentino!!!!!!  He finally shows us he has some acting chops, aside from looking good in h is tightey whiteys!!!!!!!!!!!
But we love him, that way, anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 And, darlings, I just LOVE Peter Evans as Mr. March!!!!!!!!!  I could fall for him!  He is the most urbane, coolest sadist, this side of Cecil Beaton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He is such a bitch!  So, when Lady G meets up with him, it is hog heaven!  Or a match made in Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Poor Sarah Paulson got screwed out of another appearance, and Kathy Bates was reduced to lip service!  That spooky Lyric Lennon was running around, and I just loved the evil child, that little girl, named Wren.  I just related to Wren; she was so fun and ominous, you just HAVE to love her.  Hey, I guess my brain waves process all this stuff differently, from the rest of the populace!

                                   I just LOVE the idea of Valentino being made a vampire, or an undead thing, by F.W. Murnau, director of the film masterwork "Nosferatu."  Too bad he cannot make an actress out of Lady Gag Reflex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And to think that, this year, someone really stole Murnau's skull from his grave!!!!! Bet someone is negotiating with Ryan Murphy for a huge payment for it to be a guest on the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Because that is the problem, darlings!  Too much blood, and not enough acting!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   But there is always hope for next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, My God!!!!!!!!!!!! Boone Faked His Own Death?????????? Why Didn't I See That Coming?????????????

                      Maybe I was blind to this plot contrivance , because Boone, played by Nick Jonas, of The Jonas Brothers, is such a hottie!  Or, seriously, for the dramatic purposes of the show, I thought Boone was just too damn dumb--like Chad--to be so clever as to come up with an idea like that.

                       Sort of like the writers on the show.  The good news, darlings, is that there are only three more episodes of this crap left, and I want things wrapped up fast.

                         So, Boone faked his won death, and we know he is one of the devils.  I have an idea that bitch Gigi is in on it, because I believe she is the one who impersonated Justice Anthony Scalia, when the trio attacked Jamie Lee Curtis as Dean Munch, and Jamie beat the living crap out of every one of them!  Good for you, Jamie!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         But, who is the third devil???????  Some are claiming Emma Roberts, though her lack of acting chops and limited facial expressions make that more and more unlikely.  It could be coming down to Pete Martuinez, local barista, and editor of the school paper, "The Sentinel."  He is also nicely played by Diego Boneta, and is the sort of  boy friend of Grace Gardner, played by Skyler Samuels!!!!!!!  Could he be the Devil???????  Your guess is as good as mine, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Wait, though , because there is another secret, waiting to be revealed.  Remember, all this centers around the murder of a woman twenty years before, on campus, from Kappa, and the presence of boy and girl twins, who were never found.  Is Grace the baby girl??????  And is Pete the baby boy???????
Are they siblings???????  Is that why they almost, but never quite, kiss?  Or is just old, regular college age angst over sexual orientation uncertainty???????????

                              Whatever the answer is, I want to put this sucker to bed!  Sure, I want to know the answers, but when the secrets are buried, so, I hope, will be the show!!!!!!!!!  It is still a chore to watch, and I cannot imagine the second season being any better, if the first was not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Face it, Ryan Murphy!!!!!!!!!!!  You are all used up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some Things Are Better The Second Time Around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  When "Let The Great World Spin" came out, in 2009, it received a lot of attention.  I read it, and, at the time, I was not blown away.  I had no intention of reading it again.

                                     Then, my workplace chose it as the subject of a massive, staff wide book discussion.  My first thought was, "Why did they have to select that thing?"  But, on second thought, I decided to give it another try, because, not always, but in some cases, I have found that I respond more to books on a second reading.  Maybe my head was in the right place, emotionally, the first time.

                                     Well, this turned out to be true, because, on a second reading, I found Colum McCann's novel engaging and moving..  It was also surprisingly Joycean, in structure and lyric style, weaving a group of New Yorkers--a living saint (Corrigan), some prostitutes, a Park Avenue widow and a group of mothers who lost their sons in Viet Nam, with the story of Philippe Petit's  wire walk across the twin towers.  Sounds crazy, here, I know, but it works, thanks to McCann's skill, and not overreaching his hand.  Not one moment or character is allowed to upstage anyone or anything else, so what he creates on print is an epic tapestry that is a social microcosm for the city at this time.

                                      I found it surprisingly poignant, though not a doggie downer, like Joan Didion.  But, then, nobody writes like Joan, anyway, and you may take that both ways, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Leave it to the Irish when it comes to lyricism.  Here I dissed my workplace for not selecting something more classic, like Henry Roth's "Call It Sleep," or Betty Smith's "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn."  Yet, on a second reading of this work, I discovered the selection was today's equivalent of these two earlier works of New York life,

                                         Not such a bad choice, after all.  And thanks for giving me a second chance to discover that for myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2015

The Catholic Movie That Is Not A Catholic Movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Isn't that John Slattery a hot, Silver Daddies thing, girls?????????  I am telling you, older men are the ones who have it.  The young, toothsome ones are tasty and flavorful, but for sexual staying power, John and his type are tops in my book.  Not to mention that he is one of our best character actors, and acts up a storm as Benjamin Bradley, Jr. in the film "Spotlight."

                       This is the first decent film I have seen this year, darlings, but I have to say, I had my reservations.  I knew, going in, it was  going to deal with the Boston Globe's scandalous discovery of all the sexual abuse committed against the young by ordained Catholic priests throughout the Catholic world populace.  And especially the city of Boston.

                        So, I cringed at the idea of seeing scenes I would never want to sit through again, like those in an earlier film on sexual abuse, "The Boys Of St. Vincent," from way back in 1992.  But the most disturbing scene in the entire film turns out to be an encounter by Rachel McAdams and a retired Catholic priest living with his spinster sister, who looks like a deranged ex-nun, herself, where he blithely admits to molesting all these boys with the aplomb you or I would mention about going to the store for a quart of milk.  The cluelessness of this man to his wrongdoing, whether it be genuine or pretend, is genuinely chilling.

                         Make no mistake about, it, girls, director Tom McCarthy, who wrote the screenplay with Josh Singer, deals with the abuse head on.  But this is as much a movie about investigative journalism, as it is about scandal in the Roman Catholic church.  Think back to "All The President's Men, where Woodward and Bernstein's pursuit of the truth was as important as the Watergate scandal being dealt with.  "Spotlight" has the same dramatic template.

                          It also has this dream ensemble cast, which McCarthy directs to perfection; several of whom I see slated for Oscar nominations.  Besides Slattery, there is Mark Ruffalo, skilled actor, and delicious as always, for those who prefer them younger, as reporter Mike Rezendes.   He never loses his skill for a second.  The two revelations are Brian D'Arcy James, more known for his work on the New York stage, as reporter Matt Carroll.  Who would have thought he could act on film, but he goes at the role with conviction, like he has been doing it all his life.  He just about--emphasis on those last two words--steals the film.  Then, there is Rachel McAdams, whom I never thought of much as more than a pretty thing--the only film I recall seeing her in was 2004's "The Notebook," which reduced me to tears, thanks to Ryan Gosling's breakout performance as Noah.  But, in a role that I could have seen either Kate Winslet or Amy Adams better suited to, McAdams brings an understated maturity to the role I never would have thought her capable of, especially in that all important scene between she and the retired priest.    

                             And, heaven forbid I I should not mention the star turn by veteran Michael Keaton, as Walter "Robbie" Robinson.  Not only is it one of his best performances, I believe he is another
in the ranks who will receive an Oscar nomination

                             Not to mention, also, hunky Liev Schrieber as the Editor.  Hey, with so many hotgties in thos movie, is this a Cthoicic movie, or an investigative, gay one?????????   Maybe all three!!!!!!!!!!!
But some of these actors are as yummy as they are brilliant.  The only yummy I can think of missing who should be here is Linus Roache.  Why couldn't they have gotten him?????????

                     But, of course, the one who walks off with the film is my man, Stanley Tucci, here playing Mitchell Garabedian, an attorney.  Tucci subsumes himself in the character--he is the male Meryl Streep--and I would say, he, Slatterey, D'Arcy James, and possibly McAdams are all deserving of Oscar nominations.  As the picture, direction, and screenplay should.

                     I did not expect this film to impress me as much. Or to anger me, especially someone raised Catholic, when you think of what was being perpetrated upon innocent children by men we had been raised to think of being holy?   Which begs the question--what does that make the rest of us?  (Fortunately, I was spared this psychological trauma; no one priest ever approached me.)

                     Don't let the title fool you, girls, "Spotlight" is NOT about theater!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 19, 2015

This Bitch Is Encroaching On My Territory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Mario Cantone, whose work I have enjoyed over the years, may seem an odd choice for the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, but let me tell you why he has been chosen.

                               The word on the street is that he would like to star in a revival of "The Bad Seed."  By "star," I mean playing the role of Rhoda Penmark.  He also expressed an interest in the Mrs. Daigle role--Eileen Heckart's part.  Now, THAT I can see, Or even Nancy Kelly's role, Christine Penmark.

                                 But he is NOT playing Rhoda, because, next to Patty McCormack, only one person was born to play that role.  And that person is myself.

                                  I have been playing Rhoda all my life.  I do it all the time.  Spouting her lines is second nature to me.  It all culminated in a play reading several years ago, where I played Rhoda full out.  It took me two hours to psychologically decompress from the role!

                                   Cantone also says that the now defunct Drama Department did a reading of "The Bad Seed," with John Cameron Mitchell playing Rhoda.   Now, I knew people connected to that group, so believe me, if this had actually happened, I would have gone.  And while I would not be happy with Mitchell playing Rhoda, I respect him enough to see what he would do with it.  Though he could never top ME!!!!!!!!!!

                                    This bitch, Mario Cantone!!!!!!!!!!!  Who does he think he is???????????

                                     You know what I say?  The project goes!  That's right; the project goes, and Cantone with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       And why is that girls???????????????????

                                       The only hit that comes out of a Raving Queen show is The Raving Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!  And that's MEEEEEEEEEEEEE, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

This Commercial Is An Insult To New Yorkers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I would like to know what the hell kind of advertising staff Geico has!  They have never created any ads that I liked.  Many may think that lizard cute, but I always found him damned annoying.  Then there is that disgusting Peter Pan commercial, which should be banned from the airwaves.

                              But their latest lizard commercial, which pokes fun at New Yorkers, most of whom live in small apartments, is insulting.  At first, the place looks kind of cute--well decorated, a Manhattan view; hey the lizard has gone New York.  Then the door knocks, and we find ourselves in a miniaturized world, straight out of "Alice In Wonderland," where the apartment is lizard sized, and the deliveryman puts the human sized packages of a Chinese food order, in the living room, filling up the entire space.  Only his hands and face are seen, as he, by comparison, is a giant.

                              The ad then ends with the lizard making some pithy comment about New Yorkers living in small apartments.

                                Where the hell are you living, Geico staff?????????  In Hollywood mansions??????  At Tara????????  I doubt it!  And if this is the best you can come up with, no wonder the commercials change so much, because your product does not sell, because nothing you can come up with works!!!!!!!!!!

                                  The problem is, you are clueless when it comes to grasping this!

                                   I have no wishes for any company to go under; however I do think a new staff is in order.  Hell, I am sure I could come up with something better; I do, each day, just by writing this blog!

                                   This is my birthday, and I want to relax, not get to worked up, so here is a final message to Geico, on behalf of those living in New York, and  myself--

                                    FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here Is Where I Want To Spend My Day......In Loveland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               "Loveland...where everybody loves to live"
                                                   --Stephen Sondheim, "Follies"

                            With all this pink, isn't it just so me, darlings????????  Let me tell you something about turning 61; with 60, you can fudge it if you want to, kid yourself, saying "I'm not in my Sixties--yet!!!!!!!!!!!
But, once you get into the numbers, there is just no denying.  Now, I never played this game with myself; whenever I reached a zero year, I accepted the newness of that decade.  But, now that I turn 61 today, I cannot play that game, even if I wanted to.

                             The scary thing is how closer I am getting to the age when my mother passed away--64.  Of course, she had lung cancer--big time!!!!!!!--and, hopefully, that will elude me.  That number figures in a John Lennon song, so I hope I am around three years later, to post that song on here.

                              As for today, once I finish writing, it is a day of relaxation--reading, visiting the dogs in the neighborhood, opening cards, (Birthday Party Barbie is once again out, for the next 30 days!!!!!!!!) and, later, meeting my beloved David, and having a birthday dinner, at our favorite place--Chadwick's.

                              All of which is my version of Loveland.  Now, I want to leave you all with a song, for all of us on this day, but not "Loveland from "Follies."   Here is the one and only Jessie Mueller, singing "Beautiful," from the show that won her that much deserved TON Y Award.  Go, Jessie, and everyone today, think about what this song says!

                               Another year, yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!