Monday, August 31, 2015

Farewell, August!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The eighth month always ends on a sad note, as  it sadly signals the soon to be end of Summer, still the shortest season of all, though I am no longer in school. Once tomorrow commences, and we get into those "ber" months, the year starts winding down.

But August turned out to be exciting. We celebrated the 46th anniversary of Woodstock, our friend Judy's birthday, reveled in "Grey Gardens," laughed in delight at "Ruthless," and made our annual Summer visit to the Spumoni Gardens, and reveled in "The Gift."  Not to mention our dream night on the town, with Baayork Lee , and Donna McKechnie!!!!!!!!!!

What more could one ask?  That September be just as good to my beloved and I, that Cujo is home now permanently, and that the Fall turns out to be as exciting as the Summer.

Bye, bye, August!!!!!!!!!  You were a nice, if hot, month!!!!!!!!

Like the song says, girls, "See you, in September!!!!!!!!!  

A Trifecta, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Honestly, they are dropping like flies, so fast and furiously I can barely keep up.  I usually reserve a post for each individual who passes away, but I am so pressed, hons, I am going have to give you three in one. Starting with our first, horror icon Wes Craven.  He died yesterday, after a battle with brain cancer!

                                 Wes seems a gentle looking man, but he made some of the most lurid stuff out there. The original "Last House On The Left," (1972) and "The Hills Have Eyes," (1977) which bordered on being sick, but you know I loved every single minute of it.  Then, in 1984, he became a permanent part of the horror scene with "A Nightmare On Elm Street," which made a star of Robert Englund, who played Freddy Krueger, and featured "Nashville" alum Ronee Blakley.  Then, of course, came the "Scream" franchise, which began in 1996. but I never cared  much for that.

                                  But get this--did you know that Wes worked with MERYL--that is right the DIVINE MERYL in a film I have never seen, called "Music Of The Heart," a 1999 film that earned MERYL one of her Oscar nominations.

                                   From Horror To  MERYL--Wes did it all!  He shall be missed, and he was also nice looking, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Too bad I never worked with him.

                                      Next, there is Oliver Sacks, who passed away also, on Sunday, August 30, at the age of 82. He, too battled cancer, and lost, but what kind is not available.  If his work in neurology had been limited to his profession, it would have been solid enough, but it was projected to the mainstream, by his book "Awakenings," which became the basis for a very moving film featuring two Oscar caliber  actors, Robin Williams, and Robert De Niro, giving Oscar caliber performances.
                               Lastly, there is Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, who made pop psychology, cultism and sexuality a potent combination, which is still the case today. At one time, the cover of the above book was everywhere, and many had the hots for Wayne!  He died this past Saturday, the 29th, after a struggle with leukemia. He was 75!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 At least Sacks made it to 82!!!!!!!!!!  It seems the younger generations are not even reaching 80!!!!!!!!!!  What does that say for those of us now in our fifties and sixties???????  Forget MERYL; she WILL endure!

                                    But, there you have it, folks!  Three in one!  Hopefully, September will ease up on us; there shouldn't be another drop like this till the end of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Toodles, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paula Did Her Customary Job Last Night, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    My beloved dozed off, so he missed the second half.  I was in and out constantly, and managed to keep track of what was going on.  But first, we have to talk about Mistake Number One--the dress.

                                      As my beloved says, Paula must have straight stylists, because she never looks right.  She emerged out of the swirling grey mist, as tradition dictates, but when she faced the camera, she was in this red thing, which was a good color for her, but the collars were uneven, and her hair looked uncombed.  It's like the stuff was just thrown on her, and she was thrown out to the cameras.

                                       If this is the look you are going for, Paula, let me tell you, it does not work.  Your delivery has no animation or spontaneity, so please don't try to match it all with your attire. It is a sure miss.

                                         As for the case last night-- it centered on the rape and murder of Lora Beth Williamson, of Garden City, Kansas, on August 17, 1986.  Lora was just 21, but could pass for Sweet Sixteen!  Now, part of the blame must go to Kansas, because, first of all, who the hell would want to live there?  Second, Lora's downfall was her assets--sweetness and naivete.

                                          After a fight with her boy friend of the day, Lora split, and went to the county fair. She met up with a former high school classmate of hers, who was hanging out with a friend of his, Timothy Gonzalez. Girls, this is the first lesson you learn!!!!!!!  Never hook up with someone you meet at a county fair, carnival, or amusement park. These are not class environments, and the people are strictly low class, little more than trash, so do not waste your time.

                                           If only Lora had known. Because this piece of low life scum named Gonzalez, had a sexual assault record from Texas.  As the trio split up, to go to their cars, the sleaze told his friend, "I'm gonna get me a piece of that," meaning Lora!!!!!!!!!!  Real classy, huh?????????

                                             So, he abducts the poor girl at her car, drags her into his, drives to a remote cornfield outside the city, and there kills her. Then, when she is dead, he rapes her!!!!!!!!  How sick is that??????????  This piece of filth got a Life sentence, and I hope he gets raped with a red hot poker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                That Paula! Insomniacs love her, because she puts them to sleep!  Sex addicts love her, because they can jerk off in front of their TV, fantasizing about fucking her!!!!!!!!

                                                 Some fan base, huh, darlings????????????????

                                              It would have taken the aforemetioned act  to awaken those who fell asleep to Paula last night.  Just counting how many times she used the operative word of the night, "sadistic," was a challenge.  You'd thought it was a word she had just learned. Hell, it probably was!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Poor Lora. To have suffered so much, and then have your story trivialized by Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                And that brother!!!!!!!!!!  What was with him???? Trying to do the  Arlo Guthrie or Peter Coyote routine, at his age? You could tell he has done LOTS of drugs!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 But, then what else is there to do in Kansas!!!!!!!!!  Remember, it was from there Dorothy wanted to escape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Rest In Peace, Lora!  You deserved better treatment than the hack journalism you got last night!

                                       Thank God we are not in Kansas, darlings!  If one is over 50, and a spinster, instead of looking like a proper lady from Helen Hooven Santmyer's "...And Ladies Of The Club,,," one looks like Margaret Hamilton as Miss Almira Gulch in "The Wizard Of Oz!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                          And they probably still give kids names, like Almira, there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can You Believe This????????? Miss Helen Hayes, Actually Beating Up On A Little Kid???????????????????

                         Appearances can be deceiving, because, if you had seen the episode, "Alter-Ego," also on "Ghost Story," back in 1972, you might want to take a swipe at the kid too. The minute this story got underway, I knew somebody was ripping off "The Other."  Too bad Tryon never got money from this.  But "The Other" was far more realistic than this.

                           Michael James Wixted, an erstwhile child actor of the day, portrays Robert Cameron, a bright fifth grader, who is obviously being programmed for Advanced Placement.  He and Miss Gilden (Hayes)  have an amicable relationship, and she ups his skill at the game of chess.  An accident renders Robert home bound for some time, with isolation and loneliness setting in. To conquer that, his mind conjures up an alter-ego of himself,(also Wixted) who is as evil as Robert is good.  At the start, it is just to have a companion to play chess, but soon the alternate wants total control. He goes to school in Robert's place, and no one seems thrown by his changed personality or the changes it wreaks in Miss Gilden, who mentally disintegrates to the point of beating the kid, who gets even with her by having her fall on her rose shears and die.

                            Meanwhile, Robert's parents (his mother is played by Collin Wilcox now Paxton, looking so middle class and not trashy, I thought, at first, it was Patty Duke!!!!!!!  Who could have imagined?  Her husband is played by Charles Aidman, and eventually they are convinced Robert has descended into schizophrenia, and needs help with that.

                              The finale is a hoot!  Helen Hayes comes back from the dead, in Robert's room, and ushers off the alter-ego to some kind of eternal Classroom Hell, where she will slam him again and again!!!!!!!!!!  Why should she go there? She was actually good!  And is there such a place?  I hope not, because I do not want to be confronted with Mrs. Santamarina in the afterlife!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                But how obviously similar to "The Other" could one get?  And in the same year it was released!!!!!!!!!!  Someone had at least read the book, and decided to do a riff on it!  Too bad it wasn't as good!  What a camp hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Helen Hayes, bashing a kid!  What a way to spend Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Doubt Very Many Of Us Could Do Jodie Foster's Butch Walk In "House Of Evil!!" I Know I Sure As Hell Can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     "House Of Evil" was another piece of trash we watched on "Ghost Story."  All these were shot around 1972, when Jodie would have been about ten. You can see the acting brilliance in her face, and when she is still, she is just like any other little girl. But when she walks--you have not seen such butch swagger since Saturday night outside of Henrietta Hudson!!!!!!!!!!!  Nothing says bull dyke more than how Jodie walks in this!  Which proves gay is what we are born with, darlings, not all that other moralist crap!

                        What made this story rise above the crappy norm is its cast--Jodie, Brad Savage, Richard Mulligan, Joan Hotchkis, and two veteran pros, Mildred Dunnock and Melvyn Douglas.  The last plays a grandfather with an ax to grind.  It seems Mulligan was married to his first daughter, Laura, who died in child birth, giving birth to Judy, (Jodie) who was born deaf.  It seems there were complications, and it came down to a choice between the mother and the baby. The baby was chosen, and Grandpa has never forgiven Laura's husband, feeling he killed his daughter, and so despises the entire family, except for Judy, who, as Laura's child, he sees as his blood.

                          All this may seem vaguely "Shadow Of A Doubt." But there is more.  Though the writers offer no explanation (and how I wish they did) Grandpa has telepathic powers; he can communicate with Judy this way, even though she is deaf, and he can hear the voice of Laura from beyond, advising him not to visit and go through with his agenda.

                            The agenda is to destroy the entire family, save Judy, and take custody of her.  He sets out to do this by building a doll house for Judy that replicates the one they all live in.  When Mildred Dunnock, as Mrs. Rule, bakes some odd cake like cookies, with faces, he makes them, with toothpicks, into voodoo dolls, and has Judy place them in the house.  Mrs. Rule, who worked for the husband when he was married to Laura, has Grandpa's number, and knows about his evil powers, though we never learn how she came to know.  Before you know it, she is done in by a heart attack, locked in her room, panicking.  Poor Mrs. Rule!  But Mildred gives it all she's got!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Grandpa is removed to a hotel, because Fran, the new wife finds him evil.  This does not stop him from telepathically instructing Judy to place the family members in their beds, in a sleep induced state from which they cannot awake.  Then, via candle, she lights the doll house on fire, but sets the actual house on fire. She tries to awaken everyone, but can't. and no one can hear her, as she is deaf and mute. But the voice of her mother, Laura, in conflict with Grandpa, comes into her consciousness, and with her help, she gets the family out of the house, which burns, but they are safe.

                                Grandpa goes out in a blaze of glory, lighting a tea kettle on a stove, which ignites into an explosion which destroys. him. But who did it?   Laura, from beyond?  Or Judy, in the present?????????????

                                  It is actually Judy.  But whether she intended or not is up for grabs. The cookie icon of Grandpa was left inside the house, which burned. The other cookie figures, like the people,
got out.

                                   So, was it accidental, or not?

                                   Not enough info is ever given but the acting is marvelous, the psychological underpinnings brilliant, (one can sympathize, up to  a point, with Grandpa losing his beloved only daughter) and then there is that butch walk of Jodie's, which must be seen to be believed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    No surprise she went on to do "The Silence Of The Lambs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wait Till You See Lauri Peters Snarl In "Cry Of The Cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            You read the name right, darlings!  Lauri Peters--the original Liesl in "The Sound  Of Music" on Broadway, back in 1959, snarling like a cat, or at least someone with rictus or delirium tremens in 1972's "Cry Of The Cat," on the anthology series, "Ghost Story."

                               I couldn't beleive this was Lauri.  The eyes told all, but the rest of her looked like she had work done--or filled out--to make her look as Bo Derek would in '10."  I wonder how Mary Martin would have reacted?

                                 What a trash evening we had last night, girls, and seldom has there been so much fun. Lauri's snarl, and Doug McClure's Seventies hotness were highlights.

                                     Someone on the writing staff had obviously seen Val Lewton's "Cat People," and/or "Cry Of The Werewolf," with Nina Foch.  Neither Simone Simone or Nina Foch were as campy as Lauri; their silhouettes simply dropped to the floor, and morphed into animals. It was called subtlety.

                                        There was nothing subtle about Lauri as a predatory cougar who would have fir right in today with Courtney Cox on "Cougar Town."  The scene where she is chained in the barn brings S and M to a humorous dimension I would never have dreamed possible.

                                          I wish I could get you a shot of Lauri bearing her teeth, but alas, I was not successful. But look at at that sneer; did she cut herself on the side, or what?  I am telling you, you have got to see this.

                                          Of course, the title could have easily been simplified.

                                           They should have called it "Nasty Pussy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Even As We Say Goodbye To August, A New Reader Is Welcomed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             So much to cover, on this, the last day of August, darlings, but first we have to welcome Marquita, the newest  reader here.  Welcome, and hope you enjoy all the musings on here. On some days there are more; on other s less.  August has been quite a month, as shall be recounted later, and as the year begins to wind down, who knows what will emerge from here.

                                Let's welcome Marquita, everyone, and feel free to drop by here, anytime!  And comment!

                                 Now, for this blog's welcoming theme song!


Sunday, August 30, 2015

(Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn!) Get Ready For Paula Tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            People will sleep well on Sunday nights from now on.  Paula Zahn is back on the air, at 10 PM tonight, on Investigation Discovery, and never have I found a better cure for insomnia!

                            That school girl earnestness, those outfits;--what the hell are you going to wear this season????  Please PLEASE, wear something new, Paula!!!!!!--I am all aglow with anticipation.  What shocking cases will she expose?  What families will have their tragedies exploited by her detached indifference?????????  I can't believe this woman has been renewed.

                               Which is not to say I will not be tuning in at 10PM!!!!!!!!  I wouldn't miss this for the world!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 But wear something appropriate, Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!  Please????????????????

Does This Show Promote Self-Esteem, Or Morbid Obesity?????????????????????

                         When I saw the trailer to this show, darlings, I had to wonder.  It just goes to show there are plenty of potential stage Tracy Turnblads out there.  It certainly made me feel better about my middle aged girth, as I am no way near these proportions.  And I have to say I admired the dance class sequence; they may not be able to do those "Chorus Line" kicks, but you cannot fault them for trying.

                            On the other hand, is this show saying being this size is OK?  What about health issues?  Sure, it's great to feel good about yourself, but sooner or later, things are going to catch up to these gals.  So is the star, and her cohorts, empowering women of this size, or exploiting them???????????

                               The line between the two is very thin.  On the one hand, we should all go, and have Burger Kings with Beyonce.  On the other hand, Beyonce better watch it, or she could end up on this show!  But, hey, fame is fame, darlings!

                                 Me, I still would rather look like Blythe Danner.  And no one wants to look wasted, like Joan Didion!!!!!!!!!!    But this show is literally saying have your cake and eat it, too, and I am not certain that is necessarily a good thing.

                                 Personally, I prefer Mr. Pinky's approach at Hefty Hideaway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Some Days You Just Can't Help Feeling Like A Shock Monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I'm telling you, girls, you get up, you have your coffee, do your best to pull yourselves together, and you can still feel blah.   Like Lucy, when she unknowingly did the "Phipps Foam Mattress" commercial, decked out like a harridan.  Well, you know the saying, "Phipps's a great big bunch of gyps!!!!!!!!!"

                               This is what I call feeling like a Shock Monster, our friend above.  What does one do on days when you just can't seem to get it together, and it will take more than self-medication to alter your self-perception?

                                 Some call in sick for a mental health day.  Others get a manicure or pedicure.  In days of yore, when more revival houses were around, I ran to the movies.  Then the Shock Monster would go away.

                                  Though there is more technology, it seems there is less to distract us.  So, "Shock Monsters" rear their ugly heads everywhere!

                                     Except in the office of Anna Wintour!!!!!!!!!!  Now, maybe SHE is the cure!

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Shirley Jackson Achieved Something Most Readers Do Not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Enough has been said, here and elsewhere, and will continue to be said, about what Shirley Jackson accomplished, through her writing.  But not many know what, as a reader, she accomplished, and I am here to tell you, it is pretty impressive.

                                When those of us who are omnivorous readers gather, the talk can go one of two ways--what one is currently reading, and what one plans to read.  Sometimes these extend to the readings of grandiose works, many save for retirement, like Emil Ludwig's "Life Of Napoleon," the writings of Sir Winston Churchill, "The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich," or, in fictive terms, "War And Peace," "Anna Karenina," and "Remembrance Of Things Past"--all volumes.

                                  Typically, I am ahead of the game.  I am on my third reading of "War And Peace," and have read 'Anna' three times, as well as all of Proust's masterwork.  And I feel the better for it.  What I feel I have left to do--but don't know if I will--is tackle James Joyce. Specifically, I want to reread Homer's "The Odyssey," which I have not done since high school, and follow it up with Joyce's masterwork, "Ulysees."  I have resigned myself to never even coming near "Finnegan's Wake;" see, even I can accept things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   But, when I read, in a NY Times review of Jackson's latest story and essay collection, "Let Me Tell You," that, during the course of her short life, in addition to the vast literary legacy left behind, which is impressive enough, she managed to finish off Samuel Richardson's two masterworks, "Pamela," and "Clarissa," both epistolary novels, I was stopped in my tracks.

                                   Now, I have read "Pamela," but "Clarissa"--oh, my God!--like "Finnegan's Wake," it stares me defiantly in the face, challenging me to take up  the gauntlet, and read it.  I am close, since I read "Pamela," but, while it is more accessible than the Joyce work, do I really want to tackle that, at this stage?  Have I the mental energy for it?  Sometimes I want to go back--to books read many years before, (as I am right now, with "The Executioner's Song" by Norman Mailer, and making fresh discoveries along the way) deriving an emotional comfort from the familiar that made me happy.  I know I SHOULD read "Clarissa," but can I do it?  It is the same lugubrious style used in "Pamela," only it is much longer. I have seen the Penguin edition of "Clarissa" in the stores; it is as heavy and weighty as the paperback "War And Peace" I occasionally carry around.

                                     Reading should be about pleasure, and engulfing oneself into a world that affords one temporary and enjoyable release from that of reality.  I don't know if "Clarissa" can do that at the point I am in life; the boat may have sailed, or it may have not.  Time will tell, in the final analysis.

                                       But I have to hand it to Shirley Jackson.  Even as a reader, she went where so few of us have gone!

Friday, August 28, 2015

This Solidified My "Relationship" With Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I was first introduced to Hayley Mills, when "The Prent Trap" came out.  It was advertised so much, and "Let's Get Together" was a top ten tune on the air waves, plus I had the 45RPM, that I knew Hayley this way.  I remember seeing advertisements for "Pollyanna," but either something did not click with me at the time, or my parents avoided taking me, as it was specifically a girl's story.

                             My Aunt Martha gave me this recording either on one of my birthdays, or hospital sojourns, and, when I looked at the cast list, I realized for the first time that Hayley played Pollyanna, and that she had  made this movie before "The Parent Trap."

                              This record taught me a lot.  I learned about missionaries, the British West Indies, how to act like a snob, through Jane Wyman's performance as Aunt Polly, and I learned dramatic acting, when I began parroting Jane's line. "Oh, what kind of a merciful God could allow a thing like this to happen to a child?  And, if he were merciful, why did he let her come to this town!  Oh, this town!!!!!!!!!!"

                               As for Hayley, she captivated me.  There was something very moving between she and Karl Malden in the field, when she delivers a message to Reverend Ford--as I later saw, when I eventually saw the movie--and, while I was familiar with the story of Pollyanna, I had never gone near the book, because I thought it too cloying.  Even for me, dolls!  But I liked that Hayley played it with some spine and edge, which is why she received the Juvenile Oscar that year for "an outstanding performance by a child actress."

                                I also discovered Agnes Moorehead through this recording--central to gay development--and this was well before she played Endora!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Walt Disney was reputedly anti-Semitic and homophobic, among other, unsavory things!  Yet, look what he wrought!  He set in motion, if not icons, a number of figures who have been pedestals over the years, for the Gay Community!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Hayley, you are still loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Childhood Favorite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         I also loved what I called the "Walt Disney Story Albums."  They came with a record and a book, and had the trademark Magic Mirror.  I looked for them everywhere to expand my collection.

                         My two favorites, because they were so colorful, were "Alice In Wonderland," and "Peter Pan."  What was going on, with me as a child?  All of these stories was about a child, or children escaping to some place else.  Was I so desperate to get away from where I grew up.  I don't think so, because I loved the antiquity of our house; I even tried going "Through The Looking Glass" over the fireplace mantel, when I was a child, and when I wanted to retreat, I could read, or listen to the story records.  Next to 'Oz,' I believe I played 'Alice' the most.

                         It was narrated by Darlene.  Yes, dears, Darlene Gillespie, Gina's sister, who became a convicted felon.  Gina, who you all know played the child Blanche in 'Baby Jane,' became a lawyer, who continues to bail her sister out of trouble.  Now, there's some relationship, right there!

                          Of course, the more I listened, I picked up the songs. "Jabberwocky" and "A Very Merry Un-Birthday" were my favorites.  I also loved "All In The Golden Afternoon."

                           The one record I would not have in the house was "Bambi."  Oh, my God, that story was too traumatic.  I still cannot view it as an adult!   Once was enough!

                            I prefer pretty things, like Alice!  No wonder she and Tinker Bell were my favorite Disney characters!

                            Which proved I didn't need a new locale, or a tornado or rabbit hole to escape.  Just my eyes, ears, and an imagination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Just wave that magic wand, and sprinkle that fairy dust, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 27, 2015

From About Ages Five To Ten, This Was My Childhood Mantra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            The record cover was the same, too. I wished I still had this; what a collector's item it would be today.

                              Long before we even imagined there would be such things as DVDs, this was as close as one could get to reliving "The Wizard Of Oz," in between those annual screenings.  I played this so much, from dawn to dusk, when I first got it, my parents were driven crazy. Between memorizing the dialogue on here, and filling in with the film, for years I was able to recite the entire film, start to finish. And I probably could, now!

                               I loved the colored lettering on the title, above.  Brilliant as the film was, at one time, I wish it had used this lettering and color scheme.

                                Of course, this is on CD, and is still available, though the disc, with  this cover, is but a memory.

                                It was truly one of the seminal records of my childhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                It made me what I am today!  Watch out, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Couldn't This Bitch Have Simply Watched The Ernest Borgnine Sequence From "Willard???????????????"

                            You know the one I mean, girls!  Where Bruce Davison confronts the evil boss, Mr. Martin, perfectly played by Borgnine, and has the rats tear him up! This is every disgruntled employee's fantasy, and maybe if he had watched this repeatedly, our winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, Vester Lee Flanagan II, aka Bryce Williams (his TV persona) would not have shot Alice Parker, reporter and Adam Ward, in Roanoke, Virginia, yesterday.

                               This guy must have planned things out. Because Parker and Ward were filming their interview with surviving victim, Vicki Gardner, early in the morning. To make matters worse, the whole thing was captured on film, and the footage is truly upsetting. Parker also wrote a 23 page manifesto, citing his issues, and acting as a suicide note, because, following a car chase, he went off the highway, shot himself, and died at a local hospital, about ninety minutes after the shooting.

                               So upsetting, darlings!  But so much I want to know.  How did this guy gain a gun? How did he gain easy access to people he really was not supposed to see again. Apparently, when he was fired, in 2013, there had been a scene, and the police had to come and take him away. That should have sent out signals right away!

                                How did he know Parker and Ward would be where they were, yesterday morning. Had he been  stalking them?  And why them, specifically? What did they represent?

                                  There have been all kinds of statements--that Parker made racist comments, that Ward laughed at him, that he had been attacked--though he does not say by whom--for being a gay black man.  I would like to know more about this.  I sympathize with the victims and the families, but there is a story to Flanagan/Williams too, that is only being speculated upon, so far. His family--if there is one--has been noticeably silent.

                                     He was advised to seek medical help, but did not, Often, those who need it most do not get it, due to lack of awareness.  It is too bad the bitch is dead, because we will never know when the triggers of rage in this man, who could have had a promising future in television, as his deceased colleagues had,  began.  Adolescence?  Childhood?  It had to be long before he broke into TV journalism.

                                       This is one of the more upsetting stories of this year. And one of the more disturbing Bitch Of The Week posts I have written.  The trouble with these types is they want fame, but they forget one important thing.

                                          Death does not leave you around to enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           May Parker and Ward rest in peace, and their families get through this terrible time!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

She's Coming Back, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Oh, my God, this Sunday, August 30, Paula Zahn will commence a new season of "On The Case."   I am telling you, this woman must have an iron clad contract, because she keeps coming back each season, in spite of presentations that have put both my beloved and I to sleep many a night. She is a great insomnia cure, and we look forward to her.

                                 But what will she do?  What will she wear?  She has never taken elocution lessons like she should, so she will still have that insincere, but earnest school girl voice that puts the kibosh on any zest of delivery.  One can only hope she will be decked out in some new outfits that suggest a power careerist, or a tend to that direction, at least.

                                  When is Paula going to take a lesson from Tamron, or Candice, or even Kendra Wilkinson?  Are we ready to  hunker down to another group of dull Sunday nights with Paula, to lull us to sleep?

                                       You bet we are.  I can't wait to see what Paula explores this year!

                                        And how she....FEELS...about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The Biography Everyone Is Talking About, But No One Will Read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I have to give Joan Didion credit for being Joan Didion.  It can't be easy. But, then, is being The Raving Queen??????  Let me be the first to tell you it is not, though I do not self-medicate with alcohol and cigarettes. If I did, I would be dead now.  Caffeinated coffee, in the morning, to prevent me from becoming a fucking bitch, is enough for me.

                                       A little Joan goes a long way with me, but I will say this. If I were going to read something about Joan, I would prefer it be written by she.  Apparently, she agrees with me, because she did not extend her cooperation on this book, so it turns out to be like a big student term paper, cribbed, not written, from various sources. And how informative is that?

                                        If I were really interested in Joan--and there must be those who are--I would simply read her oeuvre, where she sprinkles pieces of herself everywhere, and then mentally connect the dots.  That is if one is mentally connected enough to process Joan; she and Sylvia Plath may indeed be brilliant, but they are also the Queens Of Depression.  I would not advice a depressive to read Didion. Even William Styron is more uplifting.

                                        Joan's biography will turn out to be the year's most discussed, yet least read book.  Somewhat like Katherine Anne Porter's "Ship Of Fools."

                                          Which, by the way, darlings, is a vastly underrated book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get These Disgusting Tramps Off The Street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I hope these girls have been bikini waxed, because I can tell you, removing that body paint...Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              These are not Upper West Siders, to be sure.  I bet they are from Staten Island, or some trash enclave of Queens, where they are not the least bit embarrassed to come in on the subway or the ferry.  Even when 42nd Street was Hooker Haven, the gals had more class than this!

                                 Talk about a double standard. Get these tramps off the streets, but fast!  I shouldn't have to be exposed to such smut, and what about the innocent tourist children who traipse in here?????????  As for those more hormonally balanced, the way they paw and pounce on these vulgar creatures, they might as well just do it, out in the open!  That is what it is  going to come to, next!

                                   Ladies, when you are in town next time with your spouse, be like the 1940s scourge in "Wonder Woman."  When hubby looks toward these tramps, smack his face, and say what she did--"Henry, keep your eyes off those BRAZEN creatures!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                     Disney and smut do not mix, ,darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

High Theatrical Camp! Catnip!!!!!!!!!!! A Perfect Theatrical Excursion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Girls, how did I manage, back in 1993, to miss "Ruthless?"  That was during my period of Spinsterhood, so I guess I had more pressing things on my mind.  But, this past Saturday, my beloved and I paid a visit to this show, and, sweeties, I am telling you, it was as though it were written for me.

                            And it should have been.  Or I should be playing the role of Tina Denmark.  Imagine, a musical version of "The Bad Seed," where the evil child wants, not a penmanship medal--to hell with that--but a career, in show business, on the stage!  This show even references characters, names, situations, and lines from "The Bad Seed," and you can tell how astute the audience is by how quick they pick them up!

                              Ours was not too astute. But you know, I knew the whole thing.

                                The show was actually helped by having one of the creators, Joe Paley portraying Sylvia St. Croix, the kind of Monica Breedlove of the piece, but who is a lot sharper than "dear Aunt Monica" was.  And, of course, there were twists and turns along the way.

                                  The score is campy and precious.  No "Light In The Piazza," but I would just love to  get out there and do one of those roles.  How long have I felt like that about a musical I saw?

                                    "Ruthless" is the best theater fun you will have, as the Summer winds down, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  Don't miss it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And watch you don't get stabbed in the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, August 24, 2015

How Do You Get To Wonderland, Darlings???????? Until October 11, All You Have To Do Is Walk Through The Doors Of The Morgan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              After we dismissed The Children, following The Clock Tower, we headed uptown for some real childhood fun--the "Alice In Wonderland" Exhibit, at The Morgan.

                                This is the 150th Anniversary of the publication of the Lewis Carroll classic. Which is why both my beloved and I read it.  And what a treat it was to walk through the doors above, and see stenciled walls with replicas of Tenniel's illustrations, manuscript portions, and different editions of both 'Alice' and "Through The Looking Glass."

                                  You have GOT to see this silent film of 'Alice,' which is such a hoot! Ground breaking in its use of costumes and locales, but possessing the most long-in-the-tooth Alice, since Norma Shearer attempted to play Juliet, back in 1936!!!!!!!!!  And that hair--a Gorgon rag!  Was she warming up for Fantine??????????  Or was the wig left over from some silent version of "Les Miz?"

                                    I hope to visit there again, before the exhibit ends!  It was a regular tea party!

                                     And the Walrus and the Carpenter were there, too!

                                     This is the mecca for all 'Alice' buffs!  Make haste instantly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When One Is Dining Out, Leave The Children At Home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Back in 1967, when the John Huston directed movie, "Reflections In A Golden Eye," came out, I recall a radio trailer, for the film, where the announcer said--

                                  "When you see.....Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando.....
                                      in the John Huston-Ray Stark production.......
                                   "Reflections In A Golden Eye.....leave the children
                                       at home!"

                               This was the film where Marlon Brando played...(gasp!!!!!!!!)....a homosexual!!!!!!!!!!   "What is that?" I thought, back then.  How was I to know the tremendous important this word would turn out to have on me, then!  I had barely crossed the threshold from juvenile to adult fiction!

                                 But the dictum "leave the children at home" is often a good one, in many cases.  And Sunday lunch yesterday, at the elegant Clock Tower restaurant, was just such an event where this rule might have applied.  Except the children in question were our luncheon dates.

                                   Something was definitely in the air, and it was not love!  All sorts of negative vibes were issuing forth, much having to do with money.  Poor Frank; he looked old and sunken, for all he was talking about his exercise regime.  Maybe Mark is draining him dry...and not just sexually, if you know what I mean. When the couple got into a dialogue concerning payment of Mark's new gym membership, I thought there was going to be an explosion.

                                    My beloved and I were incredulous.  We had no idea what was going on, nor did we want to know.  Obviously, the pair were having issues, which every couple does, but to bring them to a social outing is well--gauche, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      These two have mired in their pretensions for so long they don't know when to quit!  Thank God my system had made a spectacular and perfect recovery that day!

                                         All of which goes to prove, you can take the boy off the farm, but you can't remove the cow dung from his soles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Year, The Annual Visit To The Spumoni Gardens Was An Explosive Experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     You live, and you learn, girls!

                                      No Summer of mine, in recent years, is complete, without a visit to the Spumoni Gardens, in Bensonhurst. This is where one can feel good about oneself, because not only can you nosh on some of the delicious Italian food this side of Brooklyn, but you will see others larger than yourselves chowing down, without guilt!  While I was there, though I had a full meal, I felt like Blythe Danner, compared to what was around me.

                                       But something went awry.  I had my usual--the salad, with that exotic dressing our group likes, some fresh mozzarella and tomatoes, drizzled in balsamic vinegar, my usual pasta (rigatoni) bolognese, in a delicious cream sauce, and coffee.

                                        Where I think I pushed it too far was the ice cream.  Instead of being brought the hard kind that I like, (I like my ice cream as I do my men--hard, darlings!) I was brought this gelato like soft stuff that was so creamy I ate barely half of what I had.

                                           Thank God we made it home in time.  With all the liquid, I really had to pee, but, as soon as that began, I knew something was soon to erupt, and, girls, it did!  I was in the bathroom for twenty minutes!  By the time I was done, I could have had a colonoscopy!!!!!!!!!!   If only I had thought that far ahead!

                                              I was so weakened, I literally crawled from the bathroom to the bed, and got in!  Thank God for my beloved and Baby Gojira to keep watch over me!  Especially as we had a big day the next day.  How was I going to survive?

                                                Oh, I did, girls, but I learned my lesson.

                                                 The next trip to the Spumoni Gardens--no desert!  Just coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, "Sandy Passage" Is Simply Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Indisputably, no mother-daughter act out there will ever surpass the Two Edies of Grey Gardens.  But, I am telling you, Fred Armisen's Big Vivvy and Bill Hader's  even more endearing Little Vivvy, give the Beale women a run for their money.

                                Where the hell was this filmed?  On a sound stage?  Because the creepy house, and the overrun garden decor matches the Maysles film perfectly.  That house, oh my God!  In just thirty minutes, these two encapsulate what it took three times the length for the original documentary.  Though, for any of you, if this was your introduction to "Grey Gardens," you owe it to yourselves to see the original.

                                  Both make a case from withdrawal from the world. Hey, I am not crazy about smelly cat food or raccoons, but to exist on a plane where your only existence is grocery deliveries, and not the IRS, well, that is quite appealing to me, dears.

                                    Take a look, and see for yourselves!  The costumes!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I cannot say too much about this presentation, as it has to be experienced.  Imagine watching it, with "Grey Gardens" itself!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And, of course some DELICIOUS  corn on the cob!

                                       "Edie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  "EDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Most Deliciously Despicable Depiction Of What So Many Of Us Find Despicable About New York!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    As my recent post on "corportatizing" shows, I have issues about the corporate structure at the root of most American workplaces.  I have to wonder if Michelle Miller has those same issues--and others--for never have I read a more enjoyable, or incisive dissection of this structure than "The Underwriting."

                                   This is a criticism from within, and Miller knows all the types.  But you want to know something, dolls? They exist in different forms in every other type of workplace--no matter how high or low end.

                                     I had to wonder if Miller had an issue with straight men, because, so help me, there is not a likable one in the bunch.  Their only interests seems to be--I kid you not--sports, money and sex. Now, who wants to hang out with a bunch like that?  If you are a woman, then you are nothing more than something to be objectified; if you are gay, neither culture will understand the other, so what is the point?

                                      It just goes to prove that when the bell rings each morning at Dow, the capitalist bastards come scurrying to their spots, like cockroaches scatter to the dark when a room lights up!

                                        This is a first novel, and Miller runs the risk of being dangerously tedious, but having things simply bounce back and forth between the characters. What saves "The Underwriting" from banality is the incorporation of a skillfully worked out murder mystery that connects victims and characters in unique ways, coming, as they do, from opposite ends of the continent.

                                            The book is not just nasty, it is a stinging indictment of what goes on every day in this  city, with those glam people in power suits and outfits you wished you owned.

                                               Except that the price of ownership is much too high!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, August 21, 2015

Decoration Tips, Fresh From "Grey Gardens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                           If, indeed, anything was actually fresh, there!  But just look at this!  This was Big Edie's bedroom, and look at the lighting, the floral pink, the minimalist wall, and the box spring mattress and bed on the floor.  Actually, darlings, it takes me back to those days in Woodside--which I would like to forget--when I actually, I confessed, slept on a contraption, like that. And you should have seen the curtains.  I was told they looked like brothel curtains!

                          But, see how elegantly they did things, at Grey Gardens?  You can do the same thing, girls, with just a little flair!  And the cost for this setting has got to be cheap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          It just goes to show what trendsetters the Edies were!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          But I would not recommend collecting cat food cans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          And how about those sweet looking raccoons?   Back to nature, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Am Telling You, After Hearing Big Edie Sing, You Will Never Think Of "Tea For Two" In The Same Way, Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             In their own, ways, the Edies were the height of their own fashion.  They made art out of what they had.  Look at Big Edie, with the blue, and that hat.  I wonder if ANNA ever met them, or how much influence they had on her?

                              You have to wonder. But here's the thing. The reason I love the Edies so much is I get them.  They withdrew from the world, into one of their own.  They went through the looking glass, without being Alice.

                                How I wish I had the luxury to do the same thing. Because, at times, the world gets to be too much.  In times past, I wanted to withdraw so bad, but then I was not deranged enough. There has to be a degree of unhinging to do what the Edies did.  Oh, well, twenty years down the road, who knows?

                                  And how the hell did they survive those icy Long Island winters?  Especially living by the water, as they did.  Sure, they could layer up, but no heat makes the cold pierce even through that.  These two had to have strong constitutions.  Both made it to their eighties, I believe.

                                    So, here is Big Edie making this classic her signature number.

                                     "How happy we could be," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See? I Told You There Was A Big Edie Doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      You can't have one, without the other, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There just has to be a Big Edie doll, to complete her daughter, Little Edie.

                                        And here she is!  With the hat, and everything. I cannot wait to own my genuine Big and Little Edie dolls. Where will we put them, in the apartment?  Not near Baby Gojira; he would not want to be upstaged.  Nor should he.

                                          They need their own special place, so they can dominate.  Perhaps on one of the cabinets?  Or the foyer?

                                            If I did not think they would be stolen, I would have them outside, on either side of the door, greeting guests like Hamptons versions of lawn jockeys.

                                             So, yes, dears, there IS a Big Edie doll!

                                              Just you and me, and me and you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Corporatization Of America Makes Me Sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            If you saw the brilliant video "73 Questions For Anna Wintour," then you know that the word she hates the most is "journey," which has filtered its way down into a distinctly American brand of language I disdain called "corporate-ese."

                             I was reminded of this when I read the disturbing NY Times piece on Amazon.Com, which seems to demand your heart, body and soul so that you can work there.  What pleased me were the accounts of those who left, but more disturbing were the accounts of those who chose to stay, and, remarkably, found nothing wrong with this.

                             This is where the American workplace, in general, I fear is going.  And this is not just some kind of warning bell; more or less the same thing was said a decade ago in The New York Free Press' infamous piece on the Strand Bookstore, and its ineffectual leader, Nancy Bass Wyden.  As I said, at the time, I really cannot comment on Nancy, except to say that she is an overly entitled alpha bitch, who thinks she knows about literature, but if she went up against me, who does, she would lose out.  The Nancy's of this world are in every work space in America--even yours, darlings!!!!!!!!!

                              More important to ask than how did they get hired is why they accept this all too prevailing attitude?  Sacrifice your life to your job?  Fuck that!  If you do, you will have enough to retire, but no enjoyment to remember.  You will just pay your bills, and die! Fuck that!

                                The Millennial Generation, and its successors, seem to have missed out on history, humanism, and basic human decency, which makes us caring individuals.  Instead, they seem to have collectively evolved into Big Brother from "1984," because that is what they think will bring them success and happiness. But will it?  Of course not?  Just like a new pair of shoes or a boy friend would never truly bring happiness to Carrie or Samantha, but, honestly, between an entrapping corporate career or clothes and sex, which would you rather pursue, darlings?????????

                                   I am not underestimating the economy, the importance of satisfaction and supporting oneself. But there is a difference between that, and selling your soul to the Devil.

                                   Those who work for Amazon, and advocate its corporate philosophy have gone and done exactly that!

                                     Hell burns, darlings!  Wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Is Wrong When A Straight Man Is Too Fashionable?????????????????

                                     This is a tough one to answer, girls, because most of this town is full of well-groomed men, and, weather we want to admit it or not, some of them actually are straight. It is true that gays and women own this town, in fashion terms--I mean, it just goes--fags, femmes, and fashion, right??????--but you have to wonder about our straight contemporaries.  Because this was going on long before "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy," which uniquely bordered on being insulting both to gays AND straights.

                                      If I see a straight man who is TOO put together, I begin to wonder if he is in the closet.  Or if his wife or girl friend dresses him. Because, let's face it, unless you are married to Mama June, most straight guys need their gals to help them look good.  Then there are the ones who refuse to listen, and show up with rumpled shirts, and under arm stains, not because their partners are being derelict, but because they feel sexually insecure, and this is how they want to prove they are straight to everyone. Believe me, I know!

                                       Jake Gyllenhaal always look perfect. But no one is sure about him, yet, anyway! And, besides, he is a celebrity.

                                        It is the non-celebs, "the shrinks and lawyers on parade," to coin Stephen Schwartz, one has to wonder about.  What is it they are expressing by being so couture?????????  I doubt if any one of them know who ANNA is.  That is how you can tell the man is straight.  Even Seth Meyers, who works with ANNA; look how schlebby he dresses.  I am amazed she tolerates it!!!!!!

                                          When a straight man is too fashionable, one's suspicions are aroused.  And should be?  I mean, just what do they think they are trying to do? Don't they pose enough problems for gays?

                                              Just to play Devil's Advocate, what about gay men who have no fashion sense?  Yes, there are some out there.  Well, the Williamsburg twentysomething slackers can be excused for trying to look cute; that is, after all, a style of sorts. But trying to pull this off in your forties, looking like Kevin Smith, just shows you have no insight into the culture and the community you are supposed to be a part of. It is the old general malaise about the post Baby Boomers having no sense of history, in general.

                                               However, all these pristine straight men--HAH!  Sneak up on them in their Man Caves, and you will find an environment more odorous and unclean than Grey Gardens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 That is not fashion, darlings, that is being a PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What A Prize Hypocrite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Jared Fogle is not only the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, but a prize-winning hypocrite, the kind of hetero sexist pig gays rail against, when speaking of the heterosexual hypocrisy in America.

                        Jared--oh, yeah, he's straight,so he is OK--is a loser--fat, overweight, who did something with the Subway diet that elevated his fame and income to unheard of proportions, from some mediocre corporate job, or whatever the hell he was doing.

                         Now, it is all going to come crashing down on Jared--two wives, two kids, he is consistent--because of his predilection for little girls. Bet he jerks off to Maurice Chevalier singing "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" in "Gigi."  Of course, for those like Jared, the song has an entirely different meaning from what was intended.

                          Of course he is from the Midwest--Indiana. Probably some Republican, anti-gay spewing religious nut. All these types are.

                            It seems Mr. Subway Seeming Straight Arrow is a pedophile. He downloads kiddie porn on his computer, and on his trips to Manhattan, he has holed up at places the Ritz and the Plaza, where he has asked actual prostitutes and other procurers to find him very underage girls--like 13 or 14.  I wouldn't be surprised if he asked for younger.

                            Get those daughters out of his house, quick!  Luckily, his current wife is going to be smart enough, and divorce him.  You sick sex pig!  This is what happens when you indulge in disgusting perversions!

                              Why didn't you just get a pop up snake from a can, get in the tub, and shove it up your ass?

                                 Looks like your Subway ride has come to the end of the line, Jared!!!!!!!!!! Your future inmates are gonna LOVE you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Today is going to be a day peppered with rantings on hypocrisy--if I have the time to get it all on here--so I thought the day should start on a happy note, by wishing Amy Adams a Happy Birthday!

                              Amy is 41 today, and looks as enchanting as this photo.  To think she now has a husband and a daughter, several years old.  And she is still radiant, and brilliant, as an actress.

                               Today also happens to be the day of the National Pilgrimage Of The French People to Lourdes.  I don't know if Amy will be there, but she IS a miracle, that keeps on going.

                                Maybe we will all see Amy at Lourdes, someday, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Meanwhile, Amy, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Not Everything Has Been Mined From "Grey Gardens," Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Oh, my God!  I am ashamed I did not think of this sooner!  With all the focus on "Grey Gardens" over the years, have they ever marketed Big Edie and Little Edie dolls??????  They really should, you know!  Better yet, how about a "Grey Gardens" play set, where you have a plastic reconstruction of the back of the house, with the front exposed, coming with some toy wild brush you can put around it.  Then, the player can move the Big and Little Edie figures in and among the house, acting out any part of the story so desired.  The set should come with a little toy plastic raccoon, with a button attached to it, that when pressed, pops out plastic poop pellets!  How about water, to urinate, too?  I mean, let's be authentic.  Not to mention, toy plastic cat food cans, that the house can be cluttered with.

                        I am telling you, every queen in NYC will have this on their coffee table, and will be spending nights at home, playing the two Edies.

                         Maybe I could sell this idea to Fisher-Price!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Is Milton Bradley still around?  Because, someone could also create a "Grey Gardens" board game. The object would be to move through the house, from entrance to attic, in order to feed the raccoons.

                           And how about coffee mugs, and tea shirts!  With pictures of the house, Big Edie, and Little Edie on each.  As well as some of their famous sayings!

                              I am telling you, there is money to be made from "Grey Gardens" yet.

                               So, how come I'm not rich?  It's like Little Edie says--when the cat takes a shit behind the fridge, he/she is the only one having fun!