Tuesday, April 30, 2019

And So, We Bid Farewell To April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Though it will always be my family's cruelest month, because of all the deaths having occurred therein, April brought us some joy.  "To Kill A Mockingbird," on Broadway, "The Song Of Bernadette," at Easter, Easter service at St. Anselm's, seeing Mary Kay Place and cast in "Diane," and remembering those gone but still present in memory.

                                      It was a chilly April--more than I can recall--so we look forward to the warmth, and hope of May.

                                       See you here, tomorrow, girls!   Next month!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, Celia, On Your TONY Nomination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 I confess, I arose at 8AM, looking like the Wrath Of God, but sipping my coffee, as I waited, panting, for the TONY Nominations.  Of course, I was thrilled for everyone, shocked at some others, but the most important thing this morning was the nomination of Celia Keenan- Bolger, for her heartrending performance in "To Kill A Mockingbird."

                                I promise to write specifically about the show tomorrow, but I am just thrilled for Celia, Gideon Glick and Jeff Daniels, who give three of the show's best performances.  The other is La Tanya Richardson Jackson, who plays Calpurnia.

                                 Celia, literally, carries the show.  It opens and closes with her, and she is scarcely off the stage.

                                  I cannot think of one more deserving of the nomination, and the award itself.

                                  Congratulations, Celia!  May this be YOUR year!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   It is about time!

Overlong, But Recommended!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The  novel sprawls, darlings!  Its narrative goes from Queens (OMG!) to Prague, in both the past and the present.  The Holocaust period is dredged up, so this book is a mixture of social upheaval personal sadness, musicology, and the enduring quest for a sonata that may or may not have been written by Beethoven.

                                       Morrow has done has research, in both musicology and on Prague, and it shows, almost too well.  So detailed are his narrative backgrounds, that one sometimes loses the pulse of the story.  If the novel could have been trimmed, by, say, 100 pages, it might have even been more satisfying.

                                          Awhile back, I posted about "The Weight Of Ink."  This is similar to that; another academic archival literary (or in this case, musical) exploration, in the tradition of the gold standard set by "Possession" by A.S.  Byatt.

                                            That does it for me, on this genre, for awhile.  For those specifically attuned to the genre, this will be Manna In The Wilderness.

                                              To those, as I, seeking a new, literary discovery, I can honestly say it is good of its kind, but I don't expect to be reading any more Brad Morrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Time is too precious, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 29, 2019

"Exchange," Last Week's Episode Of 'SVU,' Should Have Been Called, "High Flying Losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                 This episode really pressed my anger buttons, because I was onto things from the start.

                                  The series has featured some pretty despicable couples, over the year, but none so recently, as Richard and Mary Matthews, played by Darren Goldstein (who was Oscar Hubbard, in the 2017 Broadway revival of "The Little Foxes") and Erin Dilly (who sometimes, with that face, plays sweet things, and other times, as here, a bitch where butter would not melt in her mouth).  The moment I saw them all gathered around Emilia's bed, I knew they were the culprits. And once I heard Lara and her sister were exchange students,  and how angrily they reacted in the hospital room, when Lara reached for the phone, I knew I was right.

                                     And I was.  As Mary said, she and Richard met in high school in Rego Park, Queens.  It is never explained how they made it to the top in Manhattan, but, with Richard at the helm, it was not, to be sure, on the up and up.  This is the perfect example of a loser couple from Queens, who had no business aspiring to anything higher.  The best they should have hoped for was a tract house in the same neighborhood, just blocks from where both grew up.

                                        Instead, Richard cheats his way in business, while Mary is some hanger on.  When it becomes clear Lara and Emilia were exchange students, and there had been others before them, I wondered if they were taking them in as a profitable business scheme.  Instead, it is much worse.

                                         Richard is Mr. Control, who runs the show, with Mary having nothing to say about anything. When he openly took the therapist card from Besnon that should have gone to Emilia, I  had his number.  But it was not until Lara showed them the X-rated video on the phone, of Emilia engaging in illegal sex acts with older men that I realized Richard is a sex sicko, who likes girls young, not pre-pubescent, but just on the cusp of womanhood.  He grooms and brainwashes them; I should have felt more sorry for Lara, but I did not; in the end, I felt she should have gone to prison, too.

                                            This episode kept talking about the big twist. So, I thought, devious as Richard is, Mary  might turn out  to be the abusive mastermind.  But, when things close, in, and the squad is summoned to the Matthews' apartment, where it is clear Mary has been punched in the face, by Richard, while he just looks out on the terrace.  It is to Darren Goldstein's skill as an actor that he delivers the most sickening monologue, going from the money he could have made, to that the girls, all of them, he loved, it was not dirty, even though they were his kids.  Yuck.  When asked about his wife, he arrogantly replies, "Oh, she had her day."  In the arrest skirmish, Richard Matthews commits suicide, and jumps off the balcony, in front of everyone.  I was glad he did, and wanted to watch his fall down 27 stories, and see his body split apart. He deserved to go to prison, but now everyone knows what a selfish narcissus he is--or was.

                                               I did not feel sorry for Mary, but not for long.  When interrogated, she says she knew what was going on, how she wanted to help the girls, but Richard made her watch him with them, through the unclosed bedroom doors, asking her to applaud his performance.  As she said, "the old bitch, watching the younger bitches."  When she said she did this, and stayed, because she was afraid Richard would leave, that ended my sympathy for her.  I think Mary, and Lara, should go to prison.  Lara maintained Richard loved her, so she did anything he said, even if it meant harm to her sister.  Mary just wanted the affluent life style.  Well, Mary, either you will go to prison, or be thrown on the street, lucky enough to either crawl back to some derelict hole, in Rego  Park, Queens, or share an efficiency apartment in Connecticut, with Ruthie Madoff!!!!!!!!!!!  "Why, oh why," darlings????????

                                                 I wish Olivia or someone had smacked Mary and Lara's faces.  Instead, everything ends all phony and rosy for these traumatized girls.  Emilia should be reunited with her mother; Lara should hit the streets, as a prostitute.  Which she will probably do.

                                                   Everyone, save Emilia, was evil on this show, and none of them got comeuppance enough.  Though Richard Matthews' suicide was the first one that ever made me happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      The show is going soft.  It needs to toughen up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Where is Stephanie, when needed?????????????????

Summer's Coming Soon, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!! So, Let's All Go To A Plantation Cotillion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Let me make one thing clear, dears!  I want to wear Scarlett's green dress!  You know, the one she wears to the Twelve Oaks barbecue!

                                        I know you can't show your bosom before three o' clock in the afternoon, buy that didn't stop Scarlett!  Convention would not stop me, but I say health would.  I mean, I am going to have to lather myself with sun screen, and wear some kind of shawl over my shoulders, to keep my skin healthy in the hot plantation sun.

                                         Though sipping those cool Southern drinks, taking an afternoon nap, changing for the ball in the evening--what an exciting Summer it could be, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           So find a gown, make sure your crinoline is crisp, and I hope to see you at the cotillion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Tomorrow IS another day, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are You Ready For This, Girls????????????? Devil Bitch Is Seven Months Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                That is right, darlings!  Joann Cunningham, the child abusing monster from Crystal Lake, Chicago, who, with her husband, A.J, Freund, Sr. have been charged with the murder of five year-old A.J.  Freund, Jr., is now seven months pregnant.

                                  You know what those two did to that sweet, innocent child.  They dragged him, naked, into the shower, and turned it on freezing cold, while they beat him to death, over the child's agonizing, plaintive, cries, "Why are you hurting me?"

                                      And now this bitch is going to give birth again??????????????

                                     I am telling you, if the birth cannot be prevented, this child should be removed from custody by Children's Services.  The seven-year-old is already there, and I don't want to hear about family members going for custody.  Just look how Joann and hubby turned out, so you know what kind of abusive trash they themselves come from!!!!!!!!!!!  And what will these relations do?  Either abuse the kids, or, if they get out of prison, turn them over to them.

                                       A.J. Sr. should be castrated.  As for Joann, will those prison girls will deservedly tear her to pieces, once she gets into their clutches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I really don't care what happens to either one.  But I want that unborn child to have a chance, as well as that seven-year-old.

                                        These two are just so proud of their trashy, drug addicted ways, they have time for nothing else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Don't have sex, you dumb bitches!  Or get taken care of, so you can't ruin any more children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            This is one time the stork should skip over their chimney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 28, 2019

And Now, A Brief Message!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   I will have much to say later in the week, after some posts I am overdue to write, but for those who are curious about yesterday--and I know you are--let me just say this--

                                    Celia Keenan-Bolger gives the performance of the season in "To Kill A Mockingbird."

                                     Get thee to Celia at once.  And, Committee, give her that TONY Award.

                                     More about the show--and Celia--to follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time To Welcome A New Reader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 It has been a funny week, girls!  Anticipation, leading up to yesterday's event, allergies, feeling dizzy this morning....and then the follower indicator dropped to 88 for a couple of days, came back to 89. and now I see it is at 90, which means we have a new reader.

                                  To said reader, I bid a gracious welcome on behalf of my girls, and myself.  I hope you find this blog, entertaining, humorous, and irreverent.   I try to make it that, though I do venture onto serious topics, albeit in my own way.

                                    And don't forget coffee.  It is essential to me writing this, and goes great with those who read it.

                                      So, Number 90, I bid you welcome.

                                       A welcome that would not be complete, without the blog's unofficial theme song.


Saturday, April 27, 2019

We're On Our Way! Today Is Celia Keenan-Bolger Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Oh, my God, darlings!   It's here!  The day!  My hair!  What shall I wear?

                                 It is indeed a shame that Celia's name is not pictured on the marquee, as shown. But, with her having been nominated for a Drama Desk Award--the first of many nods she is sure to receive this season--this could be HER year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And it is about time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  So, girls, wish me well on my journey to the city to see Celia, and this new interpretation of the Harper Lee classic.  I wish you all the best.

                                   As to the company, get ready--The Raving Queen is on his way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 26, 2019

Down To Just One Day, Dolls--Celia, Tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Oh, my God, Celia, and 'Mockingbird' cast--please stay healthy and fit just one more day, until I arrive for tomorrow's matinee.

                                      That is right, darlings, come hell or high water--maybe both--David and I are traveling into the city tomorrow to see this Broadway hit we have had tickets for, since December.  And the lightning rod drawing me is Celia Keenan-Bolger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        So, rest up, Celia, because I want to see all that blazing, impassioned, technical magic tomorrow.  Not to mention how Harper Lee's classic story is handled and honored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          It has been so long since I have been excited, over a Broadway show.

                                          Wish me luck, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did You See Richard Kind As "Sugar Grizz" On Amy's Confectionary Show???????????

                                   Darlings, who does not love confectioneries?  They are alive, and bursting with color, and that is what Amy's show served up.  Whether real--The Nipple Cocktail? Ummmm...and pink, to boot!  Or the crafted cakes, so real looking one could bite into them.  Not to mention the real cake Amy herself bit into!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      But Richard Kind, that brilliant comedian and actor, was the highlight, as Sugar Grizz.  Now, for us Baby Boomers, remember Sugar Bear, the spokesperson for Post Sugar Crisps??????????  That is whom Kind was doing a spoof of, and he was wonderful.

                                       And how about Ruth (The Lady Who Lives In The Wood) and Esther?  Their guest segment was hilarious.  While Ruth talked of honey, bees, and other natural sugar sources,  Esther could not stop slurping on her overly sweet macadamia (or something) latte from Starbucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        As a diabetic, it made me squeamish to watch all this.  But, I do take my meds.  It made my salivate, wanting to visit the Little Cupcake Bakeshop, at 9102 Third Avenue, in Bay Ridge, where the confections seen on Amy's show are real and tasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Save me from that temptation, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           And, to keep everyone happy, here is the "Crafting Corner Theme Song!"

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Countdown Continues--Just Two Days, Darlings, Till Celia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Oh, Celia, dear, please stay healthy and strong till the end of this week!  Just look at this shot from "To Kill A Mockingbird."  Even not saying anything, Celia communicates with her brilliant acting technique, which I learn so much from.

                                        I hope to catch that technique live on Saturday.  We have had tickets since December, and, darlings, I am just bursting at the seams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Celia and Company--you had better be ready for the arrival of The Raving Queen!  I cannot wait to tell all my girls about this experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           May Harper Lee smile on us all, with approval!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           See you soon, Celia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, THIS Is REAL White Trash, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 A sleazy one horse joint--motel and cafĂ©, off the road in Texas, probably near where the Chainsaw Gang live!!!!!!!!!!!!! You cannot get any more White Trash than this!  It makes Goat Alley, in my hometown, look classy, by comparison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Don't blame, Texas, loves; any state south of the Mason Dixon line could have one of these, and I am certain all do.   But, once I saw this captivating photo symbolizing White Trash in all its garish glory, I just had to share it with you.

                                    Even the Bates Motel is a few steps up from here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Did I Tell You About These Two Scum?????????? These Degenerarte Devil Bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Ever since last Thursday, when I first heard about missing five-year-old child A.J. Freund, Jr., I knew his parents were responsible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Just look at them!  REAL trash!  The kind that live in an atmosphere of filth, because they are too busy doing drugs, to raise their children, and they deliberately chose to neglect A.J. since his birth in 2015.  And, over the years, police have been summoned to the home on charges of filth, neglect, lack of electrical power, and domestic violence. Degenerate losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        There is a seven-year-old boy, but he has been wisely removed from children's services.

                                          What is clear is that these two Bitches Of The Week murdered that sweet boy in his home, then carried his body in a bag, burying it ten miles from home near Woodstock, Illinois.

                                            What is not known yet is the cause of death, or the motive.  Probably just wanted to get rid of the child.  And, eventually, the other one.  Another Alice Crimmins, though she seems classy, in comparison to this couple.

                                               Once they get to prison, the inmates will tear them apart!  I certainly hope so.

                                                Ironically, these two live, not with each other, I am sure, but in the Chicago suburb of Crystal Lake.  Which has nothing to do with Crystal Lake Camp in Blairstown, New Jersey, where Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Voorhees menaced campers in the original "Friday The 13th," back in 1980.  Can you believe that will be forty years, next year.

                                                 Of course, the Freunds killed for evil.  Mrs. Voorhees had to get back at that horn dog Barry, and slut Claudette, for having sex while Jason was drowning.  She had to protect her child, which is why we LOVE her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Such a sweet child A.J, was.  May he rest with the angels, sure to give him more love than he ever got on Earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God bless you, A.J.  May your killers be brought to justice!

And here is a song to speed you on your way--"In The Arms Of An Angel," by Sarah McLachlan!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Third Countdown Of The Week--Three Days Till Celia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Just look at this photo, where Celia, with her gifts, is projecting the innocence and questioning of childhood.  Which she has to do throughout the entire length of Broadway's "To Kill A Mockingbird."  I cannot wait to see Celia and Company put their spin on this story.

                                     David says I am putting a lot of pressure on Celia.  Au contraire.  I am just assuring her I am assured of her confidence, and her magical ability.  I can't speak for the boys playing Jem and Dill--at least, not yet--but I have seen and known what Celia is capable of, ever since she surprised me, six years ago, by blowing me away with her heartrending portrayal of Laura, in "The Glass Menagerie."  So, I know Celia is capable of anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Just three more days!  Girls, I know you are waiting for my report, and I cannot wait to give it to you!

                                         Be strong, Celia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Babs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Darlings, I cannot believe I almost forgot!  Today is the 77th birthday of Barbra Joan Streisand--she is getting up there--where she is allowed to consume gallons of coffee ice cream today, play all her recordings, and get munched on by hubby James Brolin, to annually test his gag reflex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   I know, girls, I know!  I am just TOO much!  But you know I love BARBRA, and have ever since age 9, when I discovered I wanted to BE her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    In fact, like March 12, which is Liza Minnelli's birthday, today should be a Gay Holiday, as well. So, all gay men sitting at your desks, walk out right now in honor of BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!   Go take that Staten Island Ferry ride, and belt out "Hey, Mr. Arnnnnnnnnstein!!!!!!!!!!!    Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!  IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! AMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"
Just as BARBRA would.

                                   At worst watch your DVD of "Funny Girl, " or listen to the cast album!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Here is one of BARBRA's finest moments to enjoy.  Her appearance on Linda Richman's (Mike Meyers) show, "Coffee Talk," sometime back in 1992!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Happy Birthday, BABS!  We Love You!  Hello, Gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What Is It With These Two Guys?????????????????????

                                     These are the guys from the Sonic Fast Food Commercials, and I have lots of questions to ask?  First, just where the hell is there a Sonic?  I have never seen one in my area of Brooklyn, or any part of Manhattan I have been in, so where the hell are they, anyway??????????

                                     Second, are these two gay straight guys?  Or two straight gay guys?  They are always together, yet they seem pretty closeted.  Even though they are so tight.  There are never girl friends in the car, but I think some have been mentioned in previous ads, meaning they are just beards.

                                        Third, is all the food they are holding, drinking and eating a substitute for their real, physical feelings for each other?  I think so, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           When it comes right down to it, Sonic is the most half assed commercial ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There is not one anywhere near me, so why is it being marketed in this area.

                                             And the two guys are so annoying.  Make up your minds!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Let me teach you some manners, at tea time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Second Celia Countdown--Four Days To Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Just four days remaining till David and I embark to the Shubert Theatre to see Celia break our hearts, as I know she will, with her technical magic.  I am also looking forward to seeing LaTanya Richard Jackson's take on Calpurnia, whom I loved in the book and film, and always wished for more of.  I think it is thrilling she is given more time here, but the real draw, darlings,  is Celia.

                                           So, company, get ready for the arrival of The Raving Queen!

                                            Maybe roll out a red carpet on Saturday!  I wouldn't mind!

                                            But, most of all, be there Celia!  We are counting on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Absorbing And Satisfying Read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             I was not aware I had even read any Elizabeth McCracken, until I discovered I had read her 2001 novel "Niagara Falls All Over Again."  "Bowlaway" turns out to be a different kind of experience.

                                              Set in the early part of the Twentieth Century, up through the present, the novel revolves an octagonal house and a bowling alley, created primarily for women.  These were started by one Bertha Truitt, who is found, mysteriously in a snow covered cemetery, in Salford, Massachusetts.  The novel sets the reader up thinking Bertha is the character who will carry one through the story.  But, like Hitchcock with Marian Crane (Janet Leigh), in "Psycho," Bertha Truitt dies one third of the way through the story.  Leaving those connected to her to carry on the story in a saga where everything is "six degrees" back to Bertha.

                                                   There is even a con artist, posing as Bertha's biological son, and a preacher, who takes up residence, but is quickly found out.  The emphasis of the novel is on mood and feeling, and there is something tranquil about a town where other things may change, but the house and bowling alley remain true to Bertha.

                                                      It is wholesome Americana, and after reading a book like "Parkland" a welcome relief!  Though I recommend this to all. it could be one of the best of the year!

                                                       Besides, I always thought I would end up working as a singer in a bowling alley lounge.

                                                        Who knows?  It still may happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 22, 2019

This Is Countdown To Celia Week--Just Five Days To Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  That is right, darlings, just five days remain, until The Raving Queen, and my beloved, David, descend probably to the mezzanine of the Shubert Theatre, to see "To Kill A Mockingbird."  The tickets were purchased back in December, when April 27, the matinee, seemed so far off, only it does not seem so much, now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     That day is now before us, so I want to make sure the company is in top shape, and that Celia is on hand, because, let me say, were it not for she, I would not be attending this.  I have nothing against the adaptation or other actors, but Celia is the card drawing me to this production.

                                       So, Celia, please be on hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       What you do onstage is magic!  I cannot wait to watch,  and learn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Am Telling You, Jennifer Jones Must Be Turning Over In Her Grave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               And she has good reason to, darlings, especially when you hear what I have to tell you.

                                               To be sure, Easter went as planned.  We arose, went to an Easter service, and then returned home for the annual screening of "The Song Of Bernadette."  I cried real tears, to be sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Then we had a lovely meal at our neighbors' house.  In spite of my having a Met Formin attack.

                                                  However, several days ago, I made a gruesome discovery, so horrible I could not reveal it, until now.  I was on one of the theater websites--Broadway World, I think--where I discovered that composer Frank Wildhorn, famous for his cultish musical "Jekyll And Hyde," and other out of left field, which hardly ran, like "The Civil War" (which I actually sat through--oh, my God!!!!!!!!!), "Dracula," "The Scarlett Pimpernel," "The Count Of Monte Cristo," and "Bonnie And Clyde," is working on a new project.  The shows in question have flopped, but three performers have gotten TONY Award Nominations out of them,  Both Robert Cuccioli and Douglas Sills were nominated as Best Actor In A Musical, for "Jekyll And Hyde," and 'Pimpernel," respectively, while Laura Osnes received one for her performance in "Bonnie And Clyde."

                                                  Now, during this tumultuous of Holy Weeks, after the Notre Dame fire, and the St. Patrick's debacle, I discover that Frank Wildhorn is working/has worked on, guess what, darlings????????????????????????

                                                   A musical version of--"The Song Of Bernadette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                   I know what you must be thinking?  Are you kidding?????????

                                                   Imagine how I feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    I have trouble believing this one will get off the ground, let alone to Broadway, but in mid March there was a reading held, with Mallory Bechtel, of "Dear Evan Hansen," in the role of Bernadette, and Alison Ripley, in what I can only imagine is the Anne Revere role of Bernadette's mother, or the Gladys Cooper role of Sister Marie Therese Vazous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Already, people are saying to me, "Oh, but you HAVE to go!"  I would be doing a desecration to Bernadette and Jennifer Jones, if I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       The evening after I made this discovery, I dreamt I was walking around 50th Street and Broadway, straight across from the Winter Garden Theatre, when I saw this on the marquee--

                            Winner Of Nine Tony Awards, Including "Best Musical!"

                                                        Frank Wildhorn's

                                             "The Song Of Bernadette"

                              Oh, darlings, spare me please!  Keep this one dream from not coming true.

                               Theater queens and Broadway audiences, will never be the same!
Remember, THIS is the real thing, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  The one and only!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, April 20, 2019

I Had The Craziest Dream Last Night, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               See the book pictured up front?  "The Little Red Caboose?"  I owned that book, when I was a child.

                                 I owned a lot of books--some were of the Wonder Books brand, some were enlarged picturizations of Disney films, but my favorite ones of all were the Little Golden Books.

                                  Early in life, unbeknownst to me at the time, my path was mapped out.  I would either be a performer, or a library worker.  What I did not know was that I would go on to try and combine both.

                                  One of my earliest memories is periodically shelving my two tiered book shelf==small enough for me to reach, and even more when I sat down--with my huge collection of Little Golden Books.   This was before I knew the Dewey Decimal system existed.  And, now, sadly, it is becoming quickly outdated.

                                   Within the dream, I was back in my childhood home, in the room where the bookshelf was, and arranging my Little Golden Books.  I used to do them in order of which were my favorites, or sometimes, I would do so according to the artistry of the illustrations.  Yes, darlings, I was that critically astute!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      However, in the dream, I was not my childhood self, but in the present day??????????

                                       What could this mean?  A predictor of Alzheimer's?  A wish to return to childhood?  But, then there would not be my beloved David, as he had not appeared yet.

                                          The answer is complicated.  It has to do with April being a tragic month for me, and that haunting Sondheim lyric from "Sweeney Todd," "If only angels could prevail, we'd be the way we were."

                                           Only I don't want just things as they were, because I am so happy in the present.

                                            I want things both ways is what the dream means.

                                            And that is a conundrum.

                                           But it was fun, even in my dreams, spending time with those books again!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get Out Those Easter Bonnets, Dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Queens, of all types, love to dress up, and Easter is no exception.  The Easter Bonnet has been a fashion staple since long before Irving Berlin immortalized it in his song, "Easter Parade."  Of course, being gay, darlings, we have to have the gaudiest Easter bonnets out there.

                                    If I could have one  of my own, custom designed, of course, it would have a front frame, depicting the logo from David Byrd's original poster for Sondheim's "Follies."  Atop that would be a replica of the human Christmas tree, which has never been used, since, from the original, 1959 production of "Gypsy."

                                     I wish I could show you a picture, girls, but I haven't any.

                                     So, girls, let those creative juices flow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Meanwhile, here are Judy Garland and Fred Astaire to define the tradition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, It's Holy Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              This is actually the quietest part of Holy Week.  All the drama and happenings have taken place, now it is a rest period until the Resurrection.  So, visit a church to pray, attend an Easter vigil, watch a religious film....whatever suits you, on Holy Saturday.

                                Of course, Mary Magdalene is getting ready for her big moment, which takes place tomorrow at dawn.  I guess people arose earlier in Biblical times.

                                 My wish for all of you this Holy Saturday is peace and safety.

                                 And may whatever or whomever you believe get you through your days!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 19, 2019

After Seeing A Movie Like "Diane," A Viewer Needs A Fun Film, Like This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Read this post carefully, darling, because everything morphs together.

                                    It all started in 1940 with the film, "The Devil Bat.  Bela Lugosi played Dr. Paul Carruthers, a vengeful chemist who seeks to get even with employers whom he feels have cheated him, by raising giant sized bats to attack people.  It is a hoot, and the bats are kind of cute.

                                   Six years later, George Zucco starred as Professor Andrew Forbes, in "The Flying Serpent," and brings back, from New Mexico, the title character,  which is actually a  Quetzalcoatl.  He uses it to wreak vengeance on his wrongdoers.

                                    If this sounds like a redo of "The Devil Bat," is!!!!!!!!!!!!  Then, 37 years later, in 1982, director Larry Cohen sort of remade this as "Q," with an all-start cast like Candy Clark(!!!!!), Michael Moriarty, and Richard Roundtree.  Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Are you with me, so far, darlings???????????????????????????

                                    Now, in 1946, along came "Devil Bat's Daughter."  In this film, Rosemary La Planche (who was Miss America, 1941, darlings) played Nina MacCarron, who is actually the daughter of Dr. Paul Carruthers.  Hence, the title.  But it turns out that Michael Hale, as deranged psychiatrist Cliff Morris (Is that even a legitimate name for a shrink? Sounds like someone from a body builder competition!) is seeking to drive her mad, so he can have Carruthers' riches!!!!!!!!
Speaking of bodies, poor Rosemary La Planche.  She wins Miss America, all that scholarship money, and a chance to go to Hollywood, and she ends up in a Grade Z horror flick form Producers Releasing Corporation, who were on the same level as Republic and Monogram Pictures!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as years went, 1946 was a big year for recycles.  Universal released a thriller that year called "She Wolf Of London," wherein wholesome June Lockhart is menaced by Sara Haden as Aunt Martha and her daughter Carol (Jan Wiley) so they could go living in the big family manse, which was to have gone to June, as Phyllis Allenby, and does.

Now, eleven years later, in 1957, this plot was used again as "Daughter Of Dr. Jekyll."  Instead of wholesome June Lockhart, we get sexy-wholesome Gloria Talbott, in her bullet bra sweaters, with Barry Fitzgerald's brother, Arthur Shields, trying to drive her mad, to get the estate for himself.

All of these films offer their own special brand of fun, but "Devil Bat's Daughter" is a hoot, what with Rosemary La Planche's inexperienced acting, and that Rita Hayworth wannabe hair style!
Here is the 1940 film, "The Devil Bat," if you want a look!And here is "The Flying Serpent!" Here, darlings, is "She Wolf Of London!"

How I wish I could have given you "Daughter Of Dr. Jekyll" to look at.  If someone at the Film Forum was smart--now, an inconceivable thought--they would link these five films together to have a Quintet Of Camp Horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, don't you feel better,  darlings???????????????

Something To Cheer You Up, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Nothing cheers me up like a crescent moon.  I would decorate my place with as many as I could find, if I could just find them.

                                               But how reassuring that Moon Pies are still here.

                                               The vanilla/banana one resembles this crescent moon, but I, of course, prefer the chocolate ones.  Yum.  And the best thing, I can cut out this logo, when the box is finished, and put it up somewhere.  I feel just like Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Nothing like a Moon Pie and happy crescent moon to raise one's spirits!
From me, to you, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Good Friday, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Not only that, but the first night of Passover.  I have to dash into a church, and then attend a Seder this evening.  I must be doubly blest, or torn at both ends!

                                      Staying with Good Friday, which I was raised on, let me again say--John Wayne was NEVER beneath the cross of Christ.  Yes, he said "Clearly, this man was the son of God," but, again, THAT was in George Stevens' 1965 all-star Biblical epic, "The Greatest Story Ever Told."  That film played fast with history.  But, then all Biblicals do.  For the one with the most reverential tone, stick to 1959's "Ben-Hur."  The crucifixion, and the miraculous cure of leprosy--oh, my God, darlings, you will cry real tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I always do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Here is that evocative moment from "Ben-Hur!"  Oh, my God, Martha Scott and Cathy O'Donnell, as Miriam and Tirzah!  I am getting tears just writing about it!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        And what better song for this day than Yvonne Elliman's "I Don't Know How To Love Him!"

                                         Whether you fast or feast on this day, joyous wishes to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 18, 2019

"The Good Girl" Was Bad 'SVU'

                              That I am beginning, rather, have been, procrastinating so much on writing about 'SVU' for this blog, lately, indicates a losing interest I am having with the program.   No matter how much dramatic energy Kelli Giddish and Peter Scanavino inject into the proceedings, the inferior quality of the writing, and the sheer predictability of things has not been managed to be overcome.

                                 The first problem I had with "The Good Girl" was believing that guest star Eowyn Young, as Mackenzie Tolliver, was thirteen years old.  Come on, Central Casting, this is The Raving Queen--whom do you think you are kidding?  This girl is on the far side of her teens, believe me!  So, her plight was not as compelling had it been cast with a child that age.  I knew there was some hanky panky between the girl and her stepfather--isn't there always, here?  Let me say, this is one show where straight men never get a break.  Not with Olivia Benson/Mariska Hargitay running the show.  This castrating bitch wants to cut all men's penises down to size, and tries to do so every week--metaphorically speaking.

                                   I have a feeling this is why Philip Winchester, as Stone, is leaving.  Pity.

                                   Of course stepdaddy and stepdaughter were having sex.  Like, who did not  know that.  The big surprise was they were married--and Mackenzie was OK with that?????????  All right, maybe she was in the throes of Stockholm Syndrome, I concede that.

                                     But lying about the drama teacher, Quentin Dreyfus (J.D. Taylor) the, of course, gay drama teacher, who becomes the show's most expendable character, as he is murdered by Mackenzie's stepfather, Derek Cecil (a delightfully cowardly and arrogant Garrett Howard), and his murder goes unnoticed around everything else, even though his partner relates they were steps away from being married????????

                                        I accuse this episode of homophobia.  Why did it have to be a drama teacher?  Why, in the 'SVU' world, are all drama teachers gay?   Let me tell you, darlings, I have met plenty of straight people, teachers, and actors, in the theater, and they are just as talented as their gay counterparts.  Homosexuality is not a requirement to go into theater.  It is a reason.
Look at this photo!  It reveals why things are as they are, in the 'SVU' universe!   Because everything is from the Point Of View, or Gospel According To, Olivia Benson/Mariska Hargitay, who just cannot stop injecting herself into peoples' lives when they are unwanted, telling them how they should live their lives.  That last scene, when she is telling Mackenzie how to care for her baby, I wanted to rap Olivia in the teeth.  I cannot blame the writers, because they are probably just writing the dialogue, as ordered by Mariska.  Give it a break, lady, or otherwise someone is going to come along and slap you across the face!  Which would be refreshing!

I keep thinking with this behavior, the show will never make another season, yet it keeps doing so, in spite of, or because of, Mariska.  Her supporters are probably symbols of the dumbness of America; you know, the type who end up as litigants on "Judge Judy."

I have just one last thing to say to Olivia/Mariska!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lady, fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bitches Are Just Crawling Out Of The Woodwork!!!!!!!!!! And Some Very High Class Woodwork, At That!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              "My! People come and go so quickly, here!"
                                                --Judy Garland as Dorothy in "The Wizard Of
                                               Oz" (1939)

                                        I had not gotten over the Notre Dame fire, yet, am still recovering from it, darlings, when I heard about Sol Pais, the eighteen-year-old, emotionally disturbed girl from Florida (and living in that state contributed to it, let me tell you!!!!!!!!) who was so obsessed with Columbine, during not only Holy Week, but the approach of the 20th Anniversary of Columbine, which is this Saturday, and was all set to name her as Bitch Of The Week.  But then, she offed herself in a suicide, before she could accomplish anything--which I believe would have been a shooting of some kind at Columbine either tomorrow or Saturday, to mark the anniversary.  Maybe the more rational part of her had a crisis of conscience.  While I do not see suicide as an answer, maybe this was a last ditch effort to save Pais not only from herself, but others from her, as well.

                                          None of this would have stopped me from naming her Bitch Of The Week.

                                           But, then, along came Marc Lamparello.

                                           This 37-year-old loser from Hasbrouck Heights, in Bergen County, New Jersey, (that he is from Jersey does NOT surprise me!!!!!!!!) was seen, last night around 8PM, parking his car along side St. Patrick's Cathedral, which faces onto Fifth Avenue, in Manhattan, carrying two gallons of gasoline, lighter fluid and lighters.  The story he gave was his car was out of gas, and he cut through the cathedral, so he could get some.  Of course, when police checked his car, it was not out of gas.

                                             The minute I heard of Notre Dame, I knew St. Patrick's should be placed on massive security watch.  But I did not think something would occur so soon.  And look what was prevented.

                                               Had St. Patrick's ever gone aflame, not only would it have devastated millions, but, being so close to other businesses, Fifth Avenue could have turned into a flaming war zone.

                                                Which is what I am sure Lamparello intended.

                                                  Forget his Boston College educated philosophy degree.  Forget he was Music Director of a Catholic church in Jersey.  As well as his previous involvement with the police.
The man is a walking repressed Catholic homosexual closet queen.  Oh, I know them all right, because I was almost turned into one by the more self-righteous members of my family; relations who view themselves as so pure and holy, but in reality are just uneducated hypocrites who have always looked down on me, and still do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  They are the people I was expected to become, but refused to.

                                                     Lamparello, I am certain, lived with right wing parents, and is trying to conform to the norm, especially that of being straight.  Not that you are the greatest looking Marc, but that would not stop any straight man, no matter how plug ugly he is, because, for them, any port will  do.

                                                       I really hate these right wing Catholic closet cases!

                                                       But I hate what might have happened to St. Patrick's more.

                                                       Kudos to all who acted swiftly, and bravely!

                                                       My prayers go with you all.  Even Marc, Bitch Of The Week, though he be!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Didn't You Just Love Amy's Thanksgiving Show???????????????????

                                     I am telling you, that Amy Sedaris is one crafty lady, darlings!  Last season, she refused to do any holiday specials, and, since, I am supposing, she got so much grief, she is giving more than one would expect--a holiday for each show, no matter what the season.

                                      This past Tuesday was a Thanksgiving show, helped by guest star Ana Gasteyer.  Then came Tony the Knife Man (played by tall, handsome David Pasaquesi), as well as the usual suspects--Chassie Tucker, whom I did not know, till now, was a former pastry chef, and, of course the indefatigable Patty Hogg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Rounding out this feast was local librarian Winnifred Snood, played brilliantly by Jackie Hoffman.  She perfectly nailed the Librarian As Cultural Stereotype, but her real importance to the show was not revealed until later.

                                       Which was when the show morphed into what turned out to be a spoof of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds," with turkeys aiming for windows, coming down the chimney, through the door....just like in the movie!  Too bad they could not work in a sequence with children, or have someone spoof Suzanne Pleshette as Annie Hayworth.

                                          Aside from spoofing librarians, when it came to "The Birds," Jackie was actually spoofing Ethel Griffes as Mrs. Bundy, the avocational ornithologist from the Hitchcock film.  There was a moment where I thought Chassie was going to morph into Doreen Lang,  the hysterical mother in the diner from the film.  I kept waiting for it to happen, as the spoof could have used a dose of Doreen, but that was the only aspect of the movie to go unexplored.

                                            And I loved Amy's accelerated, hyperactive "Crafting Corner."

                                           All in all, another triumph for Amy!

                                           If only Doreen could have been there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here Is What I Looked Like The Morning After My Sleepless Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Forget Judy Garland, or Neely O'Hara, darlings, I was a wreck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Happily I am sleeping better, though our apartment seems warmer.  Or maybe it is male menopause.  Who knows?

                                   This is the worst I have ever looked.  On ordinary mornings, when I have slept, but have had no coffee yet, I look like Morgan Fairchild as the scalded bitch in 1978's "The Initiation Of Sarah."  But, believe me, what you see here is worse.  The former can be eradicated by one sip of coffee; the other takes hours of work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Hons, I don't wish this on you.  Whether you take Sominex (is that even still made?) or Vodka, I wish you all a safe and restful sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laudy, Laudy! It's Maundy Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              "Look at all my trials and tribulations.
                                                Sinking in a gentle pool of wine.
                                                Don't disturb me now, I can see the answers.
                                                Till this evening is this morning, life is fine."
                                                --The Apostles, in "Jesus Christ, Superstar," by
                                                 Andrew Lloyd Webber

                                       Yes, darlings, it is Maundy Thursday, with the foot washing, the Last Supper, Judas, and all that.

                                        Let's get a few things straight.  While the joke still exists that Jesus said, at the Last Supper, "Everyone get behind the table, for the picture," there is no truth to the rumor that David McCallum is Judas Iscariot.  He only played the part in the 1965 George Stevens film, "The Greatest Story Ever Told."  And that film was more about story telling, not truth telling.

                                          The truth is we are headed into the Easter period with great uncertainty, and I want to tell my readers I feel it all with you.  So with those feelings go my best wishes for a joyous Easter or Passover season.  Don't let the maniacal behavior of others stop our spiritual enjoyment and growth.  I bet Sister Camille would agree with that.  I know she would!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             So, all the best to you, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              And don't forget your Easter bonnets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             "Always hoped that I'd be an apostle.
                                               Knew that I could make it, if I tried.
                                               Then when we retire, we can write the Gospels,
                                                So they'll still talk about us....when we've died!"
                                                 --The Apostles, in "Jesus Christ Superstar," by
                                                    Andrew Lloyd Webber