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Thursday, January 31, 2019

Can You Believe One Twelfth Of 2019 Is Already Done???????????????????


                               And still the Winter drags on!  Actually, January seemed to drag on, for a time, but then, suddenly it sped up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               David and I toasted in the New Year, albeit will illness; he, a cold; mine, which went to the respiratory system and required medical attention.

                                 We recovered.  I got tickets--for us--for March 10, to "The Prom," in celebration of David's birthday, which was New Years Day.  We still have plans to go to Positano, later on, to celebrate the same.

                                   Our two year anniversaries of both our marriage and my retirement took place. We had fun.

                                     But, mostly, it was a month of being indoors, and reading.  One of my best experiences was "Clermont," an 18th Century Novel that is part of the Northanger Horrid Novels series.  I was transported to a romantic time, and felt as cozy as Jane Austen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      It has been so cold, no one wants to go anywhere.

                                       But we made it to "The Wizard Of Oz."

                                       January is a strange month.  It is the birthday of my beloved, and, had I not been a preemie, it would have been my birth month, too.  The first part is adjusting to the letdown from the blast of the Holiday Season, and there is not much to do.

                                          But we got through it, once again, and I, for one, am glad I can leave it behind.

                                           It was pretty good to us, but changing years is always hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           See you in February, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  Lots happening, then!!!!!!!!!!!!

What A Refreshing Re-Discovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                           When this book first came out, it was the Literary Event of 1983.  To think I was in my late twenties, when I first read it.  David Leavitt was hailed as a wunderkind, and, most importantly a voice for the Gay Community.

                                             Back then, when I was earning less, I did not buy as many books in hardback, as I do now.  But Leavitt changed all that; after this book, whenever a hardback appeared of his, I pinched pennies to buy it.

                                              Finding a nice hard back edition of this original cover, in The Strand, recently, caused me to take it home, and read it again!!!!!!!!!!

                                               It was like a breath of fresh air.  I had forgotten how almost Salingeresque Leavitt was, especially in a story like "Danny In Transit," about a neglected child shipped from place to place, withdrawing to a world of television, and ending up at a New England private school.  What is the poor kid in for, now??????????????

                                                 Then, there was "Territory," the tale of a social activist mother, with a gay son.  She is on the forefront, she can handle everything--she thinks.  That is, until her son brings home his gay lover, and she realizes, "I can only take so much--!!!!!!!!!"  Believe me, Constance and Allison MacKenzie never had these problems.

                                                   Leavitt's best example of wit came in the final story, "Dedicated," the tale of a gay male couple, and their fag hag friend, Celia, who goes with them everywhere.  At one point, Celia finds a copy of a gay porn mag, called "Army Slaves," which....well, you get the picture.
Celia is upbraided for looking at it; one of them says, and I am paraphrasing here, "Instead of talking about leather and whips, why not talk about Joan Crawford????????"  Cute and campy, and I laughed out loud, until I realized--Aren't they both the same?????????????

                                                     I found I wanted more.  Then, sadly, I wondered, what ever happened to David Leavitt????????  Yes, I know he teaches in Florida, but he has not written a decent book since "The Indian Clerk."  And "The Body Of Jonah Boyd" was  not only Leavitt at his worst, but American fiction, as well.  How did a once gifted young man evolve into a fade out of his former glory.  The story of David Leavitt is a sad one, indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Because, even now, more than then, the Gay Community desperately needs a voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When You Start Your Film Going Year At The Top, Where Else Is There To Go??????????????????????



                                Not only, as most know, is "The Wizard Of Oz" my all-time favorite movie, but it celebrates its 80th--can you believe it, darlings????????--Anniversary, this year.  Fathom Events scheduled some screenings, and David, our neighbor, Jennifer, and myself went to a screening, this past Sunday.

                                Did you know that, at the start of the New Millennium, the NEA (National Endowment For The Art) named "Over The Rainbow" the Best Song Of The 20th Century???????????  And, just this last November, in the open access journal, "Applied Network Science," it was named "The Most Influential Film Of All Time?????????????"

                                 The plaudits just keep coming in, and will.  The film is perfection.

                                  Oh, my God, I clutched my hankie, and when the lion roared and the title appeared, I trembled emotionally, and clapped my hands.  Of course, I cried during "Over The Rainbow."  You can hear a pin drop in the theater, when it comes on the screen, followed by a collective sigh, from the audience.


The first 40 minutes, taking the viewer from Kansas to Munchkinland, is my favorite part of the film.  The Mucnchkinland set is one of the all-time great examples of set design, in terms of color and composition.  When Dorothy steps out of the house, and the camera does that full, circular pan, of the set , you can see how brilliant it was.  It will never happen now, but, when young, my dream was to amass enough money to have a house that resembled Tara, and a landscaper to convert my huge back yard, into an exact replica of this set.  I would have been the Talk Of The Town, darlings!!!!!!!!!

Come to think of it, I still am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"The Wizard Of Oz" has been called one of the most perfectly cast films ever made, and it is, but Margaret Hamilton, as the Wicked Witch Of The West, deserves special mention.  Her presence hangs over the entire film, even though she is only on screen for twelve minutes.  And while, as Almira Gulch, she looks like standard Margaret Hamilton, the Witch costume and make-up, which was scary and wicked, nevertheless gave her a kind of glamour she never had, before or since.  No wonder she is so fascinating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the age of 64, I have lost count of how many times I have seen it.  And it never fails to move me.  The ending, the final line,  just bring tears to my eyes.  I daresay, I may be in the triple digits in terms of number of viewings, but I cannot be sure.  Suffice it to say I have seen "The Wizard Of Oz" more times than any other movie in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, "Gone With The Wind" also turns 80, this year.  But, the way things are now, we'd be lucky to get a screening of that, even though there is every reason we should!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But starting the movie year with a trip to Oz is perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Except, where does one go, from there??????????????

Darlings, If Gwyneth Paltrow Has Not Been Named Bitch Of The Week On Here, It Is Time She Was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                      I will grant you Gwyneth got a dollop--but just that of her mother's (Blythe Danner) good looks.  Too bad, she got none of her talent and class.

                                      I bet when she went to Spence, she was the meanest of the Mean Girls there!

                                      And don't get me started on GOOP--which should be called CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      She is full of herself, and is Miss Entitlement.

                                       But that is not what makes her this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.  This does--

                                      On February 20, 2016, Terry Sanderson, a retired optometrist, was skiing at Deer Valley,  So, too, was Gwyneth.  Skiing is, after all the sport of choice of spoiled princesses.  So, how come I don't ski, girls????????  I never had the interest or the inclination,  I was wired for brains, not athletics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     The then 69-year old man was hit full speed by Paltrow, who landed on top of him, got up, and went her merry way, without a word of apology.   He, on the other hand, suffered a concussion, a brain injury, and four broken ribs.

                                       This is what wins Gwyneth this week award.  Not to check up on him, to see if he is OK?  Not to say she is sorry?

                                         Well now, there is a lawsuit pending. Terry Sanderson is suing Paltrow for $3.1 million, and, girls, I hope he extracts every cent from her.  I will be watching for this, and let you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Congratulations, Gwyneth!  You have now been officially named Bitch Of The Week, by The Raving Queen.

                                            As Anne Baxter, as Eve, said to Celeste Holm, as Karen, when she was blackmailing her for the part of Cora--"I'm SO happy I can do something for you, at long last."

                                            Back at you,  Gwyneth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 28, 2019

I'm A Gibson Girl, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                                "Here, Karen.  You're a Gibson girl."
                                                --Gary Merrill, handing a martini to Celste
                                                Holm, in "All About Eve" (1950).


                                          I have never drank a martini in my life.  I don't know if I ever will.  However, if given the opportunity, or if one is the only option available, I would have to say mine would have to be a Gibson.

                                         A Gibson is simply a martini with a pearled onion.  Because I do not like olives.  In fact, I hate them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Their taste, and texture, is abhorrent to me. When, on occasion, I have accidentally consumed one, the taste lingers in my mouth, forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         How simple life might be, if I could just whip up a pasta with puttanesca sauce??????????  But that means black olives, and I will not eat them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          So, I am resigned to being a Gibson girl, and tying my pearls, like Celeste Holm, as Karen Richards, in "All About Eve."

                                            Meanwhile, what do other Gibson girls do, when they all hang out, together???????????

Here, take a look.  That's me, on the far left, with my legs folded!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Idgie And Ruth Used It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, Why Not Today????????????????????????????



                                    As Mrs. Lovett, from the musical "Sweeney Todd," said "Times is hard!," and seeming, today, to get harder all the time. So, why not return to a simpler age.....like cooking with Crisco?????????????

                                    "Digestible, all-vegetable, Crisco!"  So went the ad, when I was a kid.

                                      Just scoop it out, fry it in a pan, and, before you know, chickens, vegetables, biscuits, even cookies, or a cherry pie, are yours for the eating!

                                       Dismiss those rumors about Hostess' white cream being a mixture of Crisco and sugar.  The texture is different, I can tell you, from annual consumption of "Sno-Balls;" pink, of course, being my favorite!!!!!!!!!!!  It didn't do Idgie, Ruth, and the folk during their time any harm.
You know why, darlings????????  Because there was less processed food--if any--than there is now.  I am telling you, a processed can of asparagus--for those who might deign to eat such a thing--is more lethal than Crisco.

                                         So, girls, while contemplating what to cook for your husband, why not fry him a Crisco dinner, and bake a desert?????????  He will fall asleep, afterward, and stay out of your hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        "Digestible, all purpose Crisco!"  Return us to a more innocent time!

Nasty, Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                     It should not have surprised me that "Property," by Lionel Shriver, is the nastiest  collection of short stories I have read in recent memory.  After all, Shriver's career was put on the map by her grueling 2003 novel, "We Need To Talk About Kevin," that, nine years later, in 2012, became a stunning movie starring Tilda Swinton.  Though a "Bad Seed" update for the Millennial age, it was both genuinely chilling and spot on target, for its time.

                                      After her following book, "The Post Birthday World," I dismissed Shriver as a one hit wonder, deciding I would not follow her hereafter.  But after "Property" made "The New York Times 100 Most Notable Books List," I had to see for myself.  And did.

                                        I had my share of fun.  Shriver's nastiness is entertaining, if repetitive.  The title is a brilliant conception; all of the stories, and the two novellas that bookend them,  have to do with the topic of "property," but who or what that property is varies from work to work.

                                         My favorite was the novella, "The Standing Chandelier," where this bitch, Paige, wants her husband to be her exclusive property, forcing him to cut off a 25 year friendship, which was hardly a threat to their marriage.  Hubby stupidly goes along with it, but, had this story been carried forward, I would bet he would discover this was the first of many consequences of marrying Paige.  Life with a passive aggressive bitch eventually can be psychologically draining.

                                            "Domestic Terrorism," my favorite, was clearly Shriver's take on last year's story of Michael Rotondo, whose parents wanted their 30-year-old son, out of their house.  The parents get their wish, but Liam, the son, here, finds a way to make things come back and bite them.

                                            "Vermin" was, literally, a tale of raccoon terror.  It stayed within the realm of reality; these were standard critters, not giant ones, but the way the husband, especially, reacted to the threat of them, made me look out my window, afterward, terrified raccoons would be lurking in the dark, outside.

                                             "Repossession" was straight out of "The Twilight Zone," and would have made for a great episode on that classic show."  The final novella,  "The Subletter," was not quite "Single White Female," though two women do psychologically fight it out for tenancy of a flat.

                                               All admirably written, but a little too much of the same, lacking the cunning, twisted inventiveness of, say, Shirley Jackson, whom I think Shriver was aiming for.

                                                Still, "Property" is a fun read, and makes one think about the true value of what is owned.

                                                 Or is not.  Or wants to be.

Saturday, January 26, 2019

With All The Pics To Be Found Online, Who Needs Color Swatches??????????????????????????


                                        When Spring comes along, it is said a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of...……..But if you are a gay man, darlings, thoughts turn immediately to home decorating ideas.  And just look at what I have picked out.

                                           These orange walls would be perfect for our foyer. With the notable exception that all walls therein, including the ceiling, be orange.  We want to create a breathtaking effect for our guests, as they enter.
Now, for the living room, I want adult chairs, but I also want to create a Victorian nursery effect.  With two exceptions--the floor must be painted pink, and the walls, instead of stripes, must have the following pattern.
See!  Isn't that simply divine, dears???????????????

I suppose you must be wondering about the kitchen. How about this?
The yellow drawers are perfect, as is the red counter space.  However, the walls, curtains, ceiling and floor, should have this matching pattern--
I am telling you, this kitchen would be the talk of the town.  People would come just to take tours of it.  And what a challenge for the eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I bet Amy Sedaris would love it!!!!!!!!

As for the bathroom, what else would be better than flaming red?  Very Diana Vreeland, loves!!!!!!!
Though maybe the floor, tub, and other areas should be red.  Completely encased in luxurious red, darlings!  Fit for a queen !!!!!!!!!!!  Or Lee Radziwill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, the piece de resistance--the bedroom.  What else but a gorgeous creamy pink, with patterned
 walls with a pink background.  Only one thing is missing, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!  What could that be????????
This--a ceiling encased in sky blue, with fluffy white clouds.  Very tranquilizing, as one tries to drift off to sleep, or awaken for the morning.  And VERY Tennessee Williams and "Summer And Smoke!"
We will feel just like Miss Alma, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, those are my ideas.  Let me hear of yours, and by year's end, I will let you know, which, if any turned out to be fully realized.

Don't let Winter dampen your spirits, darlings!   Look ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Celia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                             Today, darlings, is the birthday of the fabulous actress Celia Keenan-Bolger, currently the toast of Broadway, and sure to win--and better--a TONY Award, for her performance as Scout in "To Kill A Mockingbird," on Broadway.  The Raving Queen hits the show on April 27, and cannot WAIT to see you, Celia.

                                                So, best wishes to Celia.  Hopefully the company will give her a proper party, and I wished I had looked as good when I was her age.  Or had the gifted ability to break audiences' hearts, just by being present.

                                                 Many happy returns, Celia.  And what about that hair?  I mean, who does it?  All the Keenan-Bolgers have killer hair, so is it a matter of genetics, or a good hair stylist?

                                                  Inquiring minds want to know, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  We love you, Celia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 25, 2019

Spring Will Be Here, Darlings! So, How About Two Red Sequined, Halston Designed, Liza Minnelli Outfits??????????


                                           The jacket is the most important object, but the rest is just fabulous bonus, my dears.  The dress and jacket can be worn at an elegant party one is hosting, while the pants suit can be worn for more casual evenings, allowing one to get up, and perform "City Lights" in their living room.  Believe me, in this town, there are Theater Queens. doing it already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             But they do not look as good as this, because they don't have what is needed.

                                             So, make this a fashion priority for your Spring purchases.  It may have to be custom made, but so what?  Show these pics, and enough dressmakers in this town will understand EXACTLY what you want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             For extra guarantee, go to a gay man!!!!!!!!!  Because, we SURELY know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Don't we, darlings???????????????????????????????

Who Do All Us Girls, Including Yours Truly, Go To, For Advice?????????? Why Anna, Of Course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                             You can always come to me for advice, dolls; that is part of what this blog is for.  But when I encounter something even I cannot handle, I take it to the one who really runs this town, and knows its business.

                                               I am talking about Anna Wintour!!!!!!!!!!  ANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                You have heard 73 Interview Questions With Anna Wintour!  Now, hear ANNA take questions from people on the street.  And the advice she gives them is as astute as what she might say to Giselle Buchan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Here she is, darlings!  Listen, and learn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Great to have you back on this blog, ANNA!  It has been quite a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Together, Here....But They Died, Six Days Apart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                    Are all the Broadway legends going, at once?  On January 15, we lost Carol Channing, and what a blow that was for Theater Queens.  Just six days later, Kaye Ballard, whom we all loved on "The Mothers-In-Law," with Eve Arden, and who introduced and immortalized "Lazy Afternoon in the 1954 John La Touche musical, "The Golden Apple," and played Rosalie in the 1960 Bob Merrill musical, "Carnival," left us?  Where is everyone going????????????

                                     Even when she was doing commercials for Spatini spaghetti sauce, Kaye was a pro, who always entertained.  In the 80's, she did an Off-Broadway show called, "Hey, Ma....It's Kaye Ballard."  I saw the show, and was introduced to Kaye afterwards; she was entertaining, gracious, and simply enchanting.  I treasure our encounter.

                                      Kaye seemed the eternal performer. When I heard she had died, at 93, I could not believe she was that old.  Twenty one years ago, in 1998, she galvanized "Broadway Baby," when the Paper Mill Playouse did Sonheim's "Follies."  If you don't believe me, dolls, just listen to the cast recording.

                                        We loved you, Kaye!  Rest In Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Abbondanza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Now, How Many Oz Attractions Have There Been, Or Are, In America?????????????????????


                                This one is the most famous, in North Carolina.  It was built in 1970, after the 31st Anniversary of the film, and was destroyed in 1980, when a fire broke out in the Emerald City.  What a shame I never got to see it--as an 'Oz' maven--but what fun to see it, now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 It almost looks like the MGM movie set.  I would love to walk through here.

                                 And  I keep hearing of other Oz related attractions.  Like the museum in Liberal Kansas, that has an exact replica of Dorothy's Kansas farm house from the film, and a screening room that shows the 1939 classic, every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I have also heard of a "Wizard Of Oz" bed-and-breakfast type place, in upstate New York.  I would love to visit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Retirees with travel time, what a road trip this would make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I want to follow my childhood dreams, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It Looks Like The Golden Days Of Asbury Park, But Is Really The Abandoned Bushkill Park, In Philadelphia, Pennsyvlania!!!!!!!!


                                If the Northanger Gothics are too advanced for some, take a journey to some of the most abandoned amusement parks in the country.  If this is not Gothic, I do not know what is, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, just look at that decrepit detail.  It just makes one want to visit it all the more, doesn't it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                What a road trip this would make!  Sure to outdo "Thelma And Louise!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Girls, Curl Yourselves Up On A Divan, With A Tea Table, A Pot, And Cozy, Plus A Cup, And Whisk Yourselves Back, Into The Eighteneth Century!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                           "Clermont," the second of the Northanger Horrid Novels, is a journey from which I have recently emerged, and I am not the same for it.  In a good way, that is.

                                             This is what Jane Austen and her girls read, back in the day, and were they right.  Haunted castles, mysterious figures silhouetted in cemeteries at night, dreadful family secrets that alter the course of human lives...with succulent language one can savor with pleasure, because each Gothic thrill is so perfectly drawn.

                                                To be sure, this is not a quick read.  But, if you go with it, the ride is worth it.  This is a must for Bronte lovers; I daresay those siblings must have read some of these.

                                                 And with the weather the way it has been--very windy, very "Wuthering Heights,"--it has just been the most perfect time to read such a text. With this type of literature, atmosphere is everything.

                                                  If this was considered "chick lit" in Austen's time, the authors then had a better, more literary grasp on the genre.  What passes for it today is crap.

                                                    Have your own tea party, girls.  Read "Clermont," or any of the other Northanger Horrid Novels, and discover the REAL thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who Thought The Motion Picture Academy Of Arts And Sciences Would Ever Be Named Bitch Of The Week????????


                                This was the furthest thing from my mind, darlings, and I could not have imagined such a thing, but when I heard of the nomination of this film, "Detainment" as Best Short Subject, I blanched.

                                  The film is a recreation of the murder, interrogation and conviction of Jon Venables and Robert Thompson, who, on February 12, 1993, committed a crime that would raise even the eyes of Ian Brady and Myra Hindley.  The two boys, then ten years old, lured a two year old toddler, named James Bulger, from the mall where he was with his mother, walked him about Liverpool, tortured him by the railroad tracks, and left him for dead.  I think they even put the body on the tracks, so it would get hit.

                                    If Brady and Hindley remain the most hated duo in Britain, these boys, now in their late thirties or early forties, or close to it, are second behind them.  Venables has been in and out of trouble, living with sex predators, and venturing himself, into pedophilia.  Thompson has been silent, but I wouldn't trust him to get me milk from the refrigerator.

                                    The film, directed by Vincent Lambe, which he staunchly defends, runs a gruesome thirty minutes.  In that film, James' murder is re-encacted by child actors, including one enacting the role of James.  I don't know how graphic it is, but just what I can conjure up from what I have read is gruesome enough. And what parents would allow their children to participate in such a project?

                                      What was Lambe thinking? I am with James' mother, Denise Purdy, who calls the film disgusting, and says it should be removed.  And the film tries to humanize the boy killers.
Listen, Brady and Hindley could not be humanized, so what makes you think these chaps can???????

                                       They can't, because they are monsters.  May that poor innocent boy rest in peace.  I refuse to see this film, and I hope all my girls agree.

                                         The Academy has made some mistakes in the past,  but this is the most egregious.

                                   

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

What??????????? No Lucas Hedges???????????? What Is Wrong With These People????????????????


                                 This morning, darlings, the Oscar nominations were announced.  It used to be one of the most exciting days of the year, but now it is like,,,,who cares?

                                  Everyone is upset about Bradley Cooper being snubbed for Best Director.  Like I give a hoot.  But I am livid about Lucas Hedges.  This fine young man should have been awarded something for all his work this year.  I was sure he would get a nod  for "Boy Erased," as well as Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe, but all this snubbing does is prove the Academy is as homophobic as it was, back in the day of "Brokeback Mountain."

                                   But, let's take a look at some of what got nominated---

                                   Best Picture
                                   "Black Panther"
                                   "BlacKkKlansman"
                                   "Bohemian Rhapsody"
                                   "The Favourite"
                                   "Green Book"
                                   "A Star Is Born"
                                  "Vice"

                                  What???????????  No "Can You Ever Forgive Me?' and "Boy Erased?"  I look at this list and see no film that I like; that is, would want to see.  The only one on here I have is "A Star Is Born," and what a waste of time that was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Best Actress
                                    Yalitza Aparico, "Roma"
                                    Glenn Close, "The Wife"
                                    Olivia Colman, "The Favourite"
                                    Lady Gaga, "A Star Is Born"
                                    Melissa McCarthy, "Can You Ever Forgive Me?"

                                    Yalitza, who?  Never heard of her!  Lady Gaga?  Don't make me barf!  After
                                    years of playing forward thinking roles, it would be criminal for Glenn Close
                                    to finally win an Oscar, for playing a submissive wife.  At least Jane Wyatt,
                                    on "Father Knows Best," did it, tongue in cheek!!!!!!!!!!!  Olivia Colman is a
                                    fine actress, but what about "The Favourite?"  Is it really that great?
                                    I say, "Go, Melissa?"  This was a spectacular breakthrough performance about
                                    a disturbed soul, whom I never expected to blow me away!  But she did!!!!!!!!

                                    Best Actor
                                    Christian Bale, "Vice"
                                    Bradley Cooper, "A Star Is Born"
                                    Willem Dafoe, "At Eternity's Gate"
                                     Rami Malek, "Bohemian Rhapsody"
                                     Vigo Mortensen, "Green Book"

                                      Christian Bale, as Dick Cheney?  Is that interesting?  Does anyone care?
                                       Does anyone want to see it?  I don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Now, Bradley Cooper
                                       was OK, but not the powerhouse James Mason was in the 1954 classic.
                                       When Cooper committed suicide, I hardly blinked.  The real performance
                                        in this film was Sam O'Neill. So, where the hell is he?  Willem Dafoe?  Fine
                                        actor, but what the hell is this film, and who cares???????????  Lucas
                                        Hedges should be in the spot Rami Malek is, and who the hell is he,
                                        anyway?  Vigo Mortensen is a good actor, but is the film genuinely forward
                                        thinking, or a token nod from the Academy stating they are not racist, when,
                                        actually, they really are??????????????????

                                         Best Director
                                         Alfonso Cuaron, "Roma"
                                         Yorgos Lanthimos, "The Favourite"
                                         Spike Lee, "BlacKkKlansman
                                         Adam McKay, Vice"
                                        Pawl Pawlikowski, "Cold War"

                                         Hmmmm… Now, Spike Lee has done good work, but has anyone seen it?
                                        Same with Adam McKay, and "Vice," and just who is he, anyway?  Pawl
                                        Pawlikowski will fare better in the Foreign Film category, and who the hell
                                       is Yorgos Lanthimos, and what is so great about "The Favourite?"  Looks
                                       like Alfonso is going to take it home, for "Roma."

                                       Best Supporting Actress
                                       Amy Adams, "Vice"
                                      Marina de Tavira, "Roma"
                                      Regina King, "If Beale Street Could Talk"
                                      Emma Stone, "The Favourite"
                                      Rachel Weisz," The Favourite"

                                      Wipe that smirk off your face, Emma Stone; you are a lousy actress. The only
                                       reason to see "The Favourite" is to laugh, when you get tossed into the mud!
                                       Ah, Amy, our beloved Amy! How many nods is this?  Five? Six?  Amy is SO
                                       overdue for an Oscar, but, alas, this will not be her year, because it is already
                                       clear Regina King is going to take it!  Stone's spot should have gone to
                                       Nicole Kidman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Best Supporting Actor
                                       Mahershala Ali, "Green Book"
                                       Adam Driver, "BlacKkKlansman"
                                       Sam Elliott, "A Star Is Born"
                                       Richard E. Grant. "Can You Ever Forgive Me?"
                                       Sam Rockwell, "Vice"

                                       This looks to be the strongest acting category of them all.  Sam Rockwell is
                                       a great actor, but he just won, and is "Vice" all it is cracked up to be??????
                                       Same with Mahershala Ali; he recently won, is he a trailblazer, or just a good
                                       actor? And I have my reservations about "Green Book."  Adam Driver is a
                                       fine actor, but is his role justified?  That leaves the two REAL contenders,
                                       Richard E. Grant in "Can You Ever Forgive Me?" and Sam Elliott in "A Star
                                       Is Born."  Now, Grant won the New York Film Critics Award, and McCarthy
                                       did not, so I would like to see Melissa win Best Actress, and Sam Elliott take
                                       it for "A Star Is Born."  Grant was great in "Can You Ever Forgive Me?," but
                                       Melissa MADE that film!  As did Elliott in "A Star Is Born."  So, honor that
                                      film by giving it to the only REAL performance in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       That is as far as I am going to go, girls!  Again, Lucas should be in here some
                                       where; what about "Ben Is Back?"  Everyone was touting Julia Roberts for
                                       a nod for the same film--what went wrong?

                                        The Oscars will be handed out Sunday, February 24, starting in our area, at
                                         8PM, EST.  Stock up on No-Doz, or something to keep you awake!

                                         And wipe that smirk off your face, Emma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       
                                           

"Dear Ben" 'SVU' Should Just Say "Dear John," And Wrap This Thing Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                 I am telling you, before Season 20 ends, we are going to see Philip Winchester, in full baseball regalia, displaying his hot, jock workout body.  I know you girls are pining to see this, and all my gay guys, too.  Think how lively it would be, especially in comparison to dowdy Olivia.

                                  When I heard this episode involved a case going back 25 years, I looked up an episode from years back, where Luke Perry played a rapist who ends up marrying one of his victims.  I thought it would be nice to bring Luke back as this criminal, but that is not what it was.

                                     The culprit calls himself "The Infinity Rapist," and in addition to raping and threatening to murder his victims, he leaves the signs seen in the photo.  When one recurs after twenty five years, it leads them to this Queens/Long Island home where a sister is harboring her loser midget brother, who looks something like Peter Dinklage, is just a copycat, then insists he is the real thing.  No one believes him.

                                      Then another attack occurs, by the REAL rapist.  I have to confess, when they visited the antique shop, I thought the sweet old guy there was going to be the culprit.  They go to this woman named Amy, whose uncle, Edgar Noone, was a TV cable installer during the period of the rapist's reign, and would today, be in his late Sixties.  Bingo!  Sweet Uncle Edgar, played sweetly and disturbingly by Jude Ciccolella, is, indeed the culprit, but with the strangest motive.  Obviously, there are Mommy/women issues, but also Daddy ones.  Because Edgar fixates on Peter's father, Ben Stone (played, at one time, by Michael Moriarty) and feels they have a relationship which demonstrates Stone cared more about him, than his son, Peter.  Olivia dispels that, saying Stone cared about justice for the female victims.  That's when he gets all psycho, and says no, Stone loved him; not even Peter was as important to him.

                                    His sorry ass is hauled off. and Peter, having discovered a letter from his father, reads it to Olivia.  It says how important his son's baseball game is to him, but he had to miss it, because the rapist struck again.  Peter is saddened, and walks away.

                                     Lastly, he turns up at Olivia's, in baseball regalia, wanting to take Noah out to play.  Noah can hardly wait to get out of the house; anything to get away from Olivia; he'd go with convict Grandma Sheila, if he could!  Olivia and Peter talk about forgiveness of his father, and of course, downer Olivia gets the last shot.

                                        It would truly have been exciting if this episode had marked the return of Luke Perry.  Instead, they opt for a real downer, all around.

                                         Why not have Rachel Dratch, as Debbie Downer on, as a guest???????????

                                          Now, that would liven things up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 21, 2019

If This Is The "Girl In The Moon," No Wonder Moon Folk Don't Show Their Faces, When Astronauts Land!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                     I remember this magazine from my Sixties childhood, and it made the phrase "Girl In The Moon" haunting to me.  She certainly is no beauty, so I am not surprised that Moon folk hide when Earthlings visit.

                                    Looking at this image now, it makes me wonder if the "Girl In The Moon" is a distant cousin of the Mole People, because there is a similarity to the make-up. which was done for "The Mole People," by the great Bud Westmore.  He must have done Moon Girl's make-up, too.

                                    We all know what spending too much time in the sun can do, but maybe this is a lesson on what total darkness can do to one's looks.  Not to mention the lack of Elizabeth Arden, or Estee Lauder, which I am sure this gal never heard of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       You have to wonder, darlings.  It must be tough for Moon Girl to get a date.  Are they drawn to one another by instinct?  Or is it like Elsa Lanchester, in "The Bride Of Frankenstein," who rejects Boris Karloff for Colin Clive, who is hotter?  Too bad she did not realize he was gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        The "Girl In The Moon" must be credited for gracing this magazine cover, way back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          But she is a long way from dates at the local malt shop!  And forget getting discovered, like Lana Turner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          A lesson to all my girls--keep moisturizing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Won The Booker Prize?????????????? You Have GOT To Be Kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                     I managed to get through "Milkman," by Anna Burns, which I originally had high hopes for.  I will explain in a minute, but let me start by saying that, upon completion, I looked up what "The New York Times" said about it, curious, as it did not end up on any of their book lists.

                                       The critic said the novel was "interminable," and he would not recommend it to anyone he liked.

                                        There were times when I felt it was interminable.  And I would not go out of my way to recommend it to anyone.  But, if the critic had just come off, as I had, after reading the latest Murakami, he would have found "Milkman" a bit more tolerable.

                                          The problem is not the content, but how it is presented.  "Milkman" is the autobiographical narrative of a young girl in Northern Ireland, her typically oversized family, and relationship with siblings, coupled with a mystery, metaphor and murder surrounding the title character, who takes a somewhat creepy interest in the narrator.  Later, the reader learns why.

                                           All of this has merit.  And the angry insights into Irish culture--religious, tending not to stand out, marry quickly and have children, which is all that can be looked forward to--are drawn with both skepticism and anger.  Being of Irish descent myself, believe me, I get it.

                                           The problem is the author presents this in the most pretentious way possible, wanting to come across as a cross between James Joyce, and Samuel Beckett.  "Milkman" is essentially one long, rambling, densely worded monologue by the narrator, where paragraphs go on for pages at a time, and dialogue is smooshed within.  It is densely worded, and although only 352 pages, feels as though one is reading twice that much.  Things speed up a little near the end, as the mystery unravels, but only my dedication to literature could keep me going with this.

                                              After my experience with "The Times," I was curious to see what "Milkman" had beaten out.  Oh, my God, a thoroughly better group of works than it turned out to be--
"Washington Black," by Esi Edugyan, "Everything Under," by Daisy Johnson, "The Mars Room," by Rachel Kushner, and "The Overstory," by Richard Powers.   The first three I have read; "Washington Black" was second place for my Book Of The Year, and, having been disappointed by Kushner's "The Flame Throwers," I was, surprisingly, blown away by "The Mars Room."  And "The Overstory," because I love Richard Powers, has been on my radar for awhile.

                                                And then "Milkman" wins?  I guess the judges care more about gimmickry and technique than true literary quality.  Naming this book a Booker winner is on a par with "The New York Times" putting "The Perfect Nanny" on their Ten Best List.

                                                 Girls, I am telling you, right now, skip "Milkman."

                                                  Because, I guarantee you, if you try to get through it, most will cancel delivery, before reaching the half way point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Was Mr. Edward Hyde Literature's First Schizophrenic? Or Just A Case Of Bad Hygiene?????????????????



                                         I would have to go with the latter, girls.  Notice how closely Stevenson's story, published in 1886, and Oscar Wilde's "The Picture Of Dorian Grey, published just four years later, in 1890, resemble each other.  In Stevenson's tale, the distorted appearance is manifested externally; in Wilde's tale, it is confined to the disintegrating portrait, hidden in the attic!!!!!!!!!

                                         Dorian Grey had impeccable hygiene.  Mister Edward Hyde did not.  Which brings me to the point of discussion.  We all have our beauty regimes, girls, but not everyone takes the same approach.

                                           Some of us are Hollywood Princesses, and the bathroom is our palace, or, at least, our temple, so we can make us appear our best, seemingly taking forever to emerge from our palace of beauty.

                                             Other girls are wash n' go.  A quick dab here, a quick tuck there, and out they go! Always looking their best, yet breezing through the day, as though they haven't a care in the world!!!!!!!!!

                                              Next, there is drip dry.  These girls are a mess.  They think they are creating a fashion statement, they tell themselves that, but no one is fooled by them, believe me.

                                                Still, they are not as conspicuous as those who take Whores' Baths.  Besides working girls, gay guy one nighters excel at this, and to have to work with one can be embarrassing to all parties.  Remember, in the opening of "She Loves Me!," even the inexperienced errand boy, Arpad, knew Miss Ritter was wearing the same dress two days in a row!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Mr. Hyde does not fall into any of these categories.  He is the epitome of poor hygiene, and how not to look at a party.  Any self respecting spa, like Elizabeth Arden, would love to get their hands on him.

                                                    But they would have to wear gloves, in case he is diseased, which he probably is.
Here is something to aim for, girls!  Far superior to Mr. Hyde!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, girls, here are some examples!  First, Hollywood Princess. This is what I aspire to, each morning!!!!!!!!!   Only I know how successful, I am!
This is Wash N' Go. Breezy and carefree!
Here is drip dry. You definitely do NOT want to go here, darlings!!!!!!!!
And here is the unmentionable Whore's Bath!  None of my girls would go here, because we are at our freshest, already!  And, girls, it does not prevent crabbies!!!!!!!!!!