How Much Crap Can A Theater Critic Stand????????????????????

                                        The ones who get paid six figures and up have to stand for a lot more, so perhaps I, who am not paid, should be grateful for small favors.  I do this out of love and passion.  When young, it was my sole ambition to be a theater or film critic.  You see, I was--or so, I thought--destined to walk into "The New York Times," and say, "Here I am!  Not unlike Joyce Maynard at 18.  Well, life intervened in my case, and so here I am, still writing, and not intending to stop.  Am I trying to procrastinate writing about "The Lost Boys?"  Is it that bad?  You bet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         I never saw the movie, and, even after viewing the musical, I do not care to.  Forget the Peter Pan metaphor of the title--those wanting the real thing had best go to J.M. Barrie, Mary Martin, or even Cathy Rigby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          There are two impressive performances in the show--Shoshana Bean, playing, yet again, another put upon mother, and Benjamin Pajak as young Sam Emerson, a burgeoning gay young man, and, with Bean, one of the best voices in the company.  Pajak has proved himself twice in the recent revival of "The Music Man," where he played Winthrop, and in "Oliver!" at ENCORES, where he played the title role giving one of the most plaintive renderings of "Where Is Love?" I have ever heard.  The entire cast is filled with wonderful voices, but having to sing The Rescues' (?) lackluster score, where one song sounds just like the other, being the case today in most modern musicals that the audience walks out not caring one bit about the show or the characters in it.

                                         And the book, by David Hornsby and Chris Hoch, derived from the 1987 movie, is simplistic at best.  A single parent family moves to a new town to start over--and becomes involved with vampires?  Are you kidding me?  Who cares?  And, for connoisseurs of vampire literature, if you think Anne Rice played fast and lose with vampire methodology, wait till you see what is done here!

                                          The show runs over two hours but seems longer.  There are technical effects, and flying to tease the audience, but really, why should Michael Arden get a credit?  From the results, it looks like he has directed nothing, that the actors are all just doing this themselves.  Better to have had Eve Arden, if that was possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             I am sorry, but if more shows like "The Lost Boys" keep coming in to Broadway, then Broadway is going to lose.  And if that happens, thus begins the cultural decline that some are avidly hoping for.

                                               Well, not on my beat, darlings!  I still hold out for art, charm and entertainment, not to mention quality music.

                                                   To shows like "The Lost Boys" I can only say--Get Lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  

                                                 

Darlings, You Can Still Have Your Daily Fun And Watch These Twisted Bitches On YouTube!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          I think "Twisted Bitches" would have been a better title, but I have to admit "Deadly Women" sounds more sinister.  It can be seen on YouTube, with Candace De Long, she of the many wigs and alopecia, in all its lurid glory.

                           These pieces of trash are so bad some will want to throw something thorough their television screens.  I am going through episodes, and while they all meet my standards for sickness, there is not one who has stood out for me yet.  And of course I am waiting for them to do Sante and Kenneth Kimes.

                           And why do so many of these women look like Tyne Daly????????????

                          Girls, you have to know what is out there.  And, straight guys, you have to know what to avoid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           "Deadly Women" teaches all that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           If you are living with a "Deadly Woman," get out of there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          And if you are the neighbor of one--MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Here Is To Another Kind Of Birthday Celebration, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Forty-nine years ago--and you know what comes after that! --tonight, darlings, "ANNIE" opened at the then Alvin Theatre, which is now the Neil Simon.   How well I recall the hoopla surrounding this show.  When I finally got to see an excerpt presented on the TONY Awards that year, I was so excited, I bussed into the city from New Jersey and stood two hours in line for a ticket.  I had never done that before.  But I was so impressed.

                          To think when this happened Andrea McArdle, the original Annie, was all of 13.  Now, she must be 62!!!!!!!!!!  As for me, I was all of 22, and now I am 71!!!!!!!!!!!  Where has the time gone?

                          There are, of course, some Annies I have not seen.  I would love to play the part, but most of all, I would love to see Leslie Jones do Black ANNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  How about Liza?  Or Christine Pedi?  Or BARBRA as Miss Hannigan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            This was one of the last shows when musical theater was really musical theater.

                             Because of that, and its classics stature, when it turns 50 next year, there should special celebrations!

                               Maybe even a Broadway revival!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Patti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           She kept her promise, darlings!  Now, let's not keep our distance!!!

                          Theater Queens in the tri-state area, if this is not a holiday, then pop out those champagne corks and let us celebrate.  Today is Patti LuPone's birthday, and, as one saw her do "Evita" back in 1980. I cannot believe Patti is 77.  Hell, I cannot believe that in November I am going to be 72!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Patti has done so much with the gifts she has been given.  She is the Rose of "Gypsy" for my generation, who were not old enough to see Ethel Merman.  She is THE "Evita!!!!!!!!!!!!"  And she redefined Reno Sweeney in "Anything Goes."

                        I have seen at least half a dozen, if not more, shows with Patti.  Thank you, dear, for each and every one.

                        Now, go out and celebrate--"a matinee, a Pinter Play, another Vodka Stinger!"

                       Or whatever tickles your fancy!  "I'll drink to that!"

                      Have a Happy Birthday, Patti!  The theater community on here salute you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Can't There Be A Toddlerville For Us Adults????????????????????????

                              The idea came to me the other night, girls, while driving home from a birthday party dinner.   Alongside the highway we were driving on back to Bay Ridge, appeared a colorful logo that read "Toddlerland."  I started to wonder why there could not be such a place for adults.

                                Don't we need exercise?  Don't we need colorful and alluring ways to get us to do it? This works with children; what makes people think it will not work with adults?

                               I propose building places like the one pictured above, and other examples, but big and strong enough for adults to crawl through, climb on, and use.  Wouldn't it be fun to go down a slide again?  And think what it could do for those back muscles, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Yes, I think it is high time there was a Toddlerland for adults!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 It could be called "Teetersville."

                                For those having problems with balance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I Try This??????????????????

                               I read recently that Bay Ridge has fifty coffee shops within it.

                                Our neighborhood, which roughly runs 38 bocks, from 65th to 103rd Street, is cherished by all who live here.

                                 When I heard the above, an idea, straight out of the late Julie Powell, crossed my mind.

                                  What if I were to visit all 50 coffee shops, over a period of time, posting about each one on here, and saying what I think?  No, I am not going to turn this into a book like "Julie And Julia," but I will share my posts.

                                     So, what do you think, girls?  Let me know, so I can make a decision whether or not I should do this.

                                      Of course, all coffee consumed, would have to be decaff.  And it could be fun discovering new places.  Or learning which ones to avoid.

                                        So, let me know if I should commence on this great coffee expedition.

                                         It could be the most adventurous reading since "King Solomon's Mines!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Join Us Tonight At 8PM, As The Sven Squad--Yes, The Sven Squad---Presents The 1989 Domestic Horror Comedy, "Parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                            I had really never heard of this film, when it was announced.  I was around in 1989; how could I have missed it?  Anyway, with the recent passing of Mary Beth Hurt, it is almost a fitting tribute to this wonderful actress that this film will be shown.

                                               The Sven Squad--Gwengoolie, Nostalgiaferatu, and The Imp!--are running the show tonight, though I am sure "Svengoolie" will make a cameo appearance.  I am glad, because, over the past several weeks, the Squad has not been seen, and I was afraid they had unceremoniously retired.  So, I am glad the show is being turned over to them this week, for their monthly appearance.

                                                   As for the film, girls, it is rare, but I am at a loss.  There is nothing I can tell you about this film except that its mixture makes me recall "Killer Klowns From Outer Space,' with its blend of horror and humor.  I have a feeling, especially with this cast, which also includes Randy Quaid and Sandy Dennis, that this could be fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     No plans tonight, dolls!  Then tune in to this special showing of "Parents" by The Sven Squad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          You just might discover a new horror favorite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          And not just a birthday, darlings, but a milestone one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Today, Hayley Mills turns 80!  80!  That makes me feel old!

                                         Because I went through a phase, in childhood, where I wanted to be Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!  But then, didn't we all?????????????????????

                                            I am telling you, darlings, she looks fabulous. Same hair and eyes, and were she to speak, that same Hayley Mills voice.

                                              Not only am I glad seeing Hayley Mills live till eighty, but I am also glad I did, too.

                                               Happy Birthday To You, Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I can't think of a better song to celebrate

this day with.  So, here it is!

                                            Hayley Mills' classic rendition of "Cobbler, Cobbler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                                                      

                                              

New Designers I Want To Hear Mentioned In "The Devil Wears Prada 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                             I am just counting the day, girls, which I am sure many are, but right now I would like to talk about designers.  I have heard that one of the red dresses MERYL wears in the film is by Balenciaga.  We already know that Emily Blum has Dior emblazoned on a shirt, and I am sure at some point Chanel will be mentioned.

                                But what about some new designers?  Here are some I would like to hear mentioned.

                                                                           

                            The first is someone I have been promoting for a long time on here--Chales De Vilmorin.  Look at that display of color.  Is there some way we can get him from Maison Du Savoir to the States?   How about a mention in the upcoming film?  Surely, that would help!

                                                                              

                                          Now, here is a classic creation from The Row.  They really do go in for some wonderful black and white creations, darlings, and I would not hesitate to recommend any one of them.  But, for me, you know, it is all about color.  The Row turns out some remarkable pieces and deserves a mention in the film!  Let's hope it gets one!

                                                                            

                               Oh, my God!  Darlings, look at this creation by Diotima!!!!!!!!!!! Classic and simple, but elegant, with just a touch of Cecil Beaton!  Who would not love wearing this?  I would buy it, sight unseen!  Hons, let's hope Diotima gets recognized in the film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                               

                                    Look at this creation by Altuzarra, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who needs Lily Pulitzer with this?  I doubt Lily will get a mention in this film, but with this dress alone Altuzarra should get noted.  This is called a Lydia dress.  I call it simply exquisite, and Altuzarra is one name I want to hear mentioned in the film.

                                         Finally, a bright pastel color--orange or pink? --to liven things up.  This is by Gabriela Hearst, and with my hair color and skin tones, it is just perfect for me.  I can't wait to wear it this Summer, but I hope it is recognized in the fashion film of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          These are only a few of the designers that caught my eye.  I am sure there are others out there as worthy.

                                           May one of your favorites be mentioned, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                            

                                                                     

Something To Add To Your Home Decoration, Girls--Paste On Wallpaper Murals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Aren't these images striking, darlings?  The problem is where to put them.  I have some unusual ideas about that.
 

                             I think the first one should go in the bathroom.  The relaxed aesthetic, the animals, make it inviting for a place in which one can and should be ultimately comfortable.

                            Now, the middle one, for the bedroom, is fine, but, as I have other ideas, I think that one would be perfect for the living room.  Nothing like colors to liven up your place.

                           The third one is my most controversial choice.  Being a child at heart, I could not resist this design, which is what I would put in my bedroom.  It is warm and cozy, and sleep should be soothing, so this bedtime look lulls one into a sleeplike state even before stepping into bed.

                            Custom made, interior designers are invaluable, girls, but when not at hand, these suggestions, which can be done by all of us, can help.

                               Expand your home creativity, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Are We Coming To, Girls!????????????????????????????

                            I majored in Journalism, when I was in college.  I never really found a job in it, but right now, I don't regret that, because with things changing the way they are, and AI, who knows if I would still have been in a journalism job?

                                All of us living in America today are aware of the above.  Hard copy has turned to digital, AI is a threat, but what I want to talk about relates more to Cancel Culture.

                                 Culture is not dead, darlings.  Au contraire.  Yet I remember a time when it got more coverage on TV, when critics like Stewart Klein or Pia Lindstrom would review the openings of movies and/or Broadway shows.  Do they even get a mention today?  No, because they are not considered worthy. The political scene we are in is covered, but too much time is devoted to sports.  Gasp!  I could be condemned for being un-American.  Listen, darlings, what little I know about sports comes from "Damn Yankees!"  And I would like to play Lola!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The cultural landscape is vanishing from television and print journalism as well.  Look at the mess Bari Weiss has made of CBS.  And how about how the arts department of "The New York Times" has been shaken up, leaving good critics like Jesse Green in the lurch?

                                        As one of my readers remarked, had Joyce Maynard been 18 now, and written her signature 'Times' piece, it would not have gotten nearly the attention it did in 1972.

                                         Thinking critically is being taught less in schools these days.  So, it should not surprise one that it is vanishing from journalism.  Opinions, objectives are all things of the past, or so it seems.  Everyone has to march in step, as though all one, devoid of individuality.

                                          I may not earn six figures, nor ever will, but I am proud my blog can do what much of journalism can't.  As long as free speech reigns, I will keep talking, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Journalism used to be called The Fourth Estate.

                                            Now, it has fallen I don't know where.

                                            Perhaps, like yours truly, we should become our own journalists!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Dog Day' Is No "Afternoon Delight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                      Girls, where do I start?

                                     Let's begin with the August Wilson Theatre.  Over the past several years, it seems I have been in this Broadway theater more than any other.  Three times with "Funny Girl," and then once more with "Cabaret."

                                       And now "Dog Day Afternoon."  Let it stop there.

                                     For reasons understandable to me now, when we got home from this experience, David found the original movie, and we watched it.  What a difference.

                                       The stage adaptation of "Dog Day Afternoon" might have worked, had understatement and empathy been maintained.  And the leads better cast. Granted, no one could surpass Al Pacino or John Cazale, but Jon Bernthal as Sonny and Ebon Moss-Bacharach as Sal are unsatisfactory.  But they are not entirely to blame.  The playwright, Stephen Adly Guirgis (whom word on the street says was barred from rehearsals; I wonder why?) and Rupert Goold have conceived this rather touching story as a sitcom that eventually reverts to the Keystone Kops.  Are you kidding me?

                                           I am getting so tired of seeing movies of note and integrity transferred to the stage so unsatisfactorily.  I dread the musicalized version of "Beaches," because everything good about that film I expect will be missing from the musical.  Except an occasional hearing of "Wind Beneath My Wings."

                                             But back to "Dog Day Afternoon."  One interesting thing having been tweaked is the role of the Head Teller, a minor figure in the film, but who here becomes major thanks to the performance of Jessica Hecht.  Of course, she is playing......well, Jessica Hecht, but she livens up the show with her character's interesting back story--a Brooklyn career spinster with a bird and a cat!  Talk about playing bridge with old maid aunts!  Were it not for Hecht, audience interest would go quickly.

                                               Sadly, the most touching character, Sonny's wife Leon, for whom he commits this robbery to get money for a sex change operation, and who was played so devastatingly in the film by Chris Sarandon (who got an Oscar nomination) is played by Esteban Andres Cruz for laughs and camp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The actors are not entirely to blame--that rests on Guirgis and Goold.  They have taken a first-rate film and reduced it to trash.  What a difference one creative team can make!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Lastly, I have to say, girls, that lately David and I have been seeing nothing but crap on Broadway.  Still, I am holding out hope, but come June 7, I feel there will not be enough new show nominees for the TONYS.  It could be all revivals.

                                                     Broadway has always been known as "The Fabulous Invalid."

                                                      So, start getting fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       

Today Is The Feast Day Of Saint Bernadette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                             How ironic this day falls on the day after America's Tax Day.  I can still recall newscasts on the 14th showing people lined up in the post office, kneeling on the floor to fill out their forms, Of course, that has gone by the wayside, along with a lot of other things, which I will eventually get to.

                             Yes, today is Saint Bernadette's feast day.  Not Jennifer Jones, darlings, but the real Bernadette Soubirous.  We can all say, "God bless you, Bernadette," but, let's face it, girls, God blessed Bernadette on February 11, 1858, when he had His mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, appear to her, and made her bring forth the Spring Of Lourdes.  Which continues to flow, help, and heal today.  

                               This is a day of remembrance of the life Bernadette lived, the suffering she endured, and the sanctity of her goodness.  She was a healer, and she continues to heal from beyond.

                                  For years, I have been wearing a Saint Bernadette medal, which I got in the gift shop of Saint Louis Cathedral, in Jackson Square, New Orleans,  It only leaves me during MRI'S.  I carry it with me at all times, feeling as though she is with me.  And when I sing with my choir, at those times I do feel closest to God and Bernadette by offering up something God gave me--my voice!

                                   I ain't no Bernadette, but, hons, who is?  All we can do is live our lives the best we can, and be the best we can be.  I try to do that every day.

                                   With lots of help from Bernadette, whom we honor today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It Is Time To Talk About Diabetes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               I have type 2 diabetes.  I don't talk about it; I live with it.  The thing is, darlings, I never thought I would get it.  Oh, I know, it is in our family, but with heart problems and seizure disorder I did not need another health issue heaped upon me.  Or did I?

                                Now, I wonder if youthful indulgences, or not pursuing them, would have made a difference in whether or not I would have gotten type 2 diabetes.

                                 I can't say I was a sweets junkie, but like any kid, I would occasionally eat Trix, put sugar on my Cheerios or oatmeal, and enjoy the occasional candy bar; my two favorites being Three Musketeers, (I knew it was a candy bar before discovering it was a novel!) Mounds and Almond Joy. I drew the line at Lucky Charms; I tried them once and they tasted awful. Better to put Kraft Mini Marshmallows in Cheerios, if one wanted the Lucky Charms experience.

                                  When I was single, living on the edge, and not having AC in the Summer--although I had a floor fan, that I would put a container of ice cubes in front, replicating Blanche Du Bois--I often had sleep issues.  So, certainly not every night, but, at least, once a week, I would have a container of Hagen Dazs Vanilla, and I would sleep like a baby.  Had I not, might I have avoided the disease?

                                       I suppose I will never know.  But I do know this.  As I finished the decade of my Fifties, I thought I was free of ever getting diabetes.  But guess what?  It emerged in my early Sixties, and here I am today.  I manage it as well as I can, and there have been no problems, but I am on all kinds of meds, and there are some side effects to taking all this stuff.

                                         I just want to notify others, especially the young, who think it cannot happen to them.  There is also someone in my family who needs to know this, but, alas, I am sure he does not stop to consider all this.  I worry for him.

                                          Having diabetes does not mean stop living, having fun, and enjoying what you eat.  It means making better choices.

                                            I have always had a craving for black and white milk shakes.  Now, I am lucky if I have one a year.  I don't miss them as much as I thought I would.  And my weight has come down, and I have kept it off.

                                              I know, girls, we all want our comforts.

                                             But at what cost, darlings????????????????

                                        

This Is My Biggest Worry About Seeing This Film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I know, girls, we are all anticipating the arrival of this film.  I am, of course, anxious about what new designers will be referenced here, but I will save that for another post.  The fact I cannot see it on opening day is disconcerting to me, but I am, after all, committed to my love and my David, so off to Shady Maple I shall go.  No, something much bigger worries me about seeing this film.

                               What the hell should I wear??????????????????????

                                I mean, darlings, I can't go in rags!  This must be approached as if I were going to a meeting with ANNA!  I mean, suppose ANNA is in the theater I am attending?  The odds aren't high, but the possibility does exist, so OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                What am I going to wear?  Something pink, and either blue or my beige pants, but what color shoes to wear?   Is red too garish?  And some of the others the opposite.  What am I going to do, darlings?  I may have to go on a shopping spree!

                                   I also cannot wait to see Emily Blunt as Emily Charlton.  I relate to Emily.  I have an inner Emily in me, and I know it comes out, and always has, when I have done theater, especially stage management.  Believe me, when I called "Places!," every actor made sure they were there!

                                   Maybe when I see the film, I will have myself photographed in my outfit for all to see!

                                   In fact, when all of us go see it, we should have apparel and ANNA in the forefront of our minds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     "Go forward," as ANNA might say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Episode Of "Elsbeth" Was Written Based On The True Nature Of Beanie Feldstein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               But before I get to Miss F, darlings (I can't even stand to write her name!) let me say a few words in praise of this show!

                               Girls, if you have not seen "Elsbeth," you must.  It is the gayest New York City show on prime-time television!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 The acting is always superb, whether from Carrie Preston, the supporting cast, or the amazing array of guest stars this show manages to get.  Hey, "Law And Order" franchise, take a lesson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Carrie Preston is a shrewd blend of comic genius and ingenue warmth, reminiscent of Leslie Caron in "Gigi."  But her real co-star is Dan Lawson, the show's costume designer, whose outfits for Elsbeth are amazing, ablaze with color, and I want to wear all of them.  Maybe I should have Dan fly east when he has a moment, and design me a few items.  Hear that, Dan????????????????????

                                  I mean, did you see the episode where he replicated Cecil Beaton's designs from "My Fair Lady?"  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The aforementioned Miss Feldstein was this week's guest star, and the first shot of her coming down the stairs in a wedding gown, looking like a cannoli overstuffed with cream, said it all.  She played a self-entitled bitch who thinks it is all about her, and when someone tells her it is not, well, that is the end of her!

                                     She does it with those popping eyes so wide she looks like she is hypo-thyroid!  The story is no one shows up for her party.  You know, the Anne Shirley routine from "Stella Dallas" (1937).  But while I felt sympathy for Anne, I felt none for Beanie.  Who the hell does she think she is?  I bet she has dreams of playing "Evita."  You could not build a terrace strong enough to support her on, while singing "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina."  Or trying to.  Not to worry, girls; I am certain Patti would not allow it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Was Beanie good?  Yes, she hit the marks and said her lines, and Lawson did a remarkable job of designing outfits that actually looked becoming on her--a miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          But he and Carrie Preston are the true stars of "Elsbeth," so girls, you really must tune in for some New York City fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            I understand next week's guest will be Griffin Dunne!  Hubba hubba!

                                            Can we even HOPE for Jonathan Groff???????????????

Should The Raccoons Who Traipse Across The Delacorte Stage Have Equity Contracts????????????????????????

                               I say "Yes," though let me qualify something.

                              Summer will soon be here.  So, it is time to consider this!

                               I have been to the Delacorte several times in my New York City life, and have sat pretty close to the stage, at times.  Never, in my visits, have I seen a raccoon run across the stage.  Though I do recall one performance--I cannot recall the show--where audience members, particularly the women, were disturbed by a bat flying close to the theater area.   I was fascinated; I thought it was cute.  And who knows if Flaco, in his free year, didn't catch a show at the Delacorte??????????

                                 Actors have reported scenes being interrupted and them being flustered, by the sudden appearance of these creatures.  Members of the rodent family, I believe.  I always thought the one thing to worry about performing outdoors was bugs flying into one's mouth!

                                 Apparently not, because the raccoons have almost become a part of the Delacorte experience!  For that reason, I think they should have Equity contracts!

                                  Make sure the props departments do not use food during shows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Join Us Tonight At 8PM, As "Svengoolie" Presents "The Car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                   This film was released in 1977, so I am not sure it was a TV movie or a theatrical release.  Its redeeming feature is James Brolin when he was really HOT, and way before he met You Know Who.  The supporting cast, a good one, seems to be made up of TV types, which makes me question the film's origin further--Ronny Cox, Kathleen Lloyd, The Richards Sister--Kim and Kyle, John Marley, John Rubinstein.  Speaking for myself, since eighth grade I have never trusted girls named Kyle, because there was one that year who was a little bitch, even if she was the dumbest thing in our class.  I wonder how she turned out.  Probably eating spuds out of ash cans.  I hope!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Anyway, I digress.  Remember "Duel" in 1971?  And "Christine," in 1983?

                                    I think this film will not be much different from them.  Especially "Duel."  A car is running rampant through some Podunk town, killing people, and Brolin, as the sheriff, has to deal with this.  It sounds like Brolin here is standing in for Dennis Weaver, but, like I have said, he was HOT then, so he could make the film bearable.  But I really do not have high expectations for this.

                                     Still, I can't say switch to something else, as I have not given this a chance, having never seen it.  So, I will.  I hope The Sven Squad is on; this may be one film when they are needed.

                                       Meanwhile, darlings, I have wardrobe decisions to make.  So, we will see you at eight, for this journey down Memory Lane.

                                         To think this film is 49 years old.  The same year I graduated from college!!!!!!!!!!!

What Did These Critics See In This "Death Of A Salesman" That I Did Not???????????????

                               The revival of Arhtur Miller's iconic play, which I saw weeks before, opened last night, and the critics went wild!  I can't believe it!  Laurie Metcalf deserves all the praise heaped upon her here, because I am telling you, darlings, her Linda is the engine running this show.

                                  And by the way, I stand by what I said here, weeks before!

                               Nathan Lane, I can only hope, has improved in the role since I saw him, though from this photo, I wonder.

                                But not a negative word about the staging, let alone placing it in the Winter Garden.  The newspapers went wild over Joe Mantello's conception, which I could not stand, and still have so many questions about.  There was a 'Times' article about him reading rough drafts of the Arthur Miller script(s), and learning things from them.  Fine, dear, you honored the text, but how about the visual conception?   I understand directors like using staging to reimagine the play but give us a clearer idea of what you are doing.

                                   Still, the text was honored, and I left emotionally drained.

                                   Nathan Lane is now the Toast Of Broadway, and now he wants to do fewer shows, and maybe retire after doing this role?   Oh, Nathan, hon, don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You signed on knowing it was a killer role, so do it.  No social life between shows, remember?  Ever since Beanie Feldstein threw her tantrum with "Funny Girl," especially after not getting a TONY nomination, actors have been catered to more than they should.  And for the record, though not on Broadway, I did a show where I had to do four performances a weekend and then work a regular job the rest of the week!  So, I am not just whistlin' "Dixie," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Audiences want to see Nathan Lane, not a substitute.  Soon, we will have audiences flocking to only specified performances, while the star or stars' night off gets audiences harder to perform to, as they care less.

                                    For God's sake, Nathan, take a chill pill!  Rest on the show's dark day.

                                   And this retirement thing?  Just a ploy for attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Even if he does Miss Hannigan in "ANNIE," Nathan will not stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is Who Should Be Hosting The TONY Awards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            As if it is not bad enough Hollywood has turned into a freak show, now my beloved Broadway is about to implode!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Yesterday, it was announced that something or someone called PINK--how dare one mock my signature color? --will host the TONY Awards.  At first, I thought the show was going to have everyone dressed in pink, which would be a lovely idea, but this musical wannabe, who will never host again after this year, I can promise you is another in a series of mistakes by the entertainment industry.  Like having Mariska Hargitay replace Daneil Radcliffe in "Every Brilliant Thing."

                                 The TONY Awards should not be pompous and pretentious, which is why I vote for Linda Richman and Liz Rosenberg.  I understand Liz has joined Linda at some of BARBRA's venues.  How about her hosting the TONYS?  Great idea, but are you kidding?

                                    Linda, with her coffee, and maybe a mention about her daughter, Robyn, will bring some talent and levity to the show, that this PINK thing does not have.  And Liz has the greatest sense of humor; calling Madonna a tramp and a "korva."  If anyone should know about Madonna, it is Liz Rosenberg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         You want to talk of tramps, darlings?????????  Even Liz and Madonna would be appalled at the way today's young girls dress!  Tramps!  Someone needs to teach them some class.  Madonna dresses better than these girls, although I would not recommend showing one's quinny as Madonna did in that sex book.  As a gay man, I could not bear to even LOOK at it!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            ANNA, could you provide a tutorial for today's young girls???????

                                           But really, these gals have talent, and that is what the TONY Awards celebrates.  Which reminds me, what the hell is going to be nominated for "Best New Musical?"  It seems all the big arrivals are revivals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Like Lucy and Ethel in the Fine Arts Club, vote for Linda and Liz to host the TONY Awards!

                                               As Linda would say, "Talk amongst yourselves."

                                              We (Linda and I) will give you a topic---

                                               What the hell is wrong with Broadway???????????????

She Won't Be Mentioned In "The Devil Wears Prada 2," But These Patterns Are Interesting To Look At For Summer Wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love discovering new designers, and Lauren Conrad is one I recently discovered.  Now, girls, I discovered her on a KOHL's Mom commercial, but it is not like I am telling you to shop at KOHL's.  I mean, a girl's could lose her reputation that way.  And that actress is SO annoying!

However, with the economy tanking, and all of us able to afford less, it would not surprise me if some of my girls have shopped surreptitiously at KOHL's.  It is one step above a thrift shop, though I understand, in the right locale, like Manhattan's Upper East Side, sometimes one can find amazing items at such shops.

Have I ever done this?  I will never tell!

The red dress is my favorite, as it is a color I am instantly drawn to.  Wearing it could make me feel like Donna McKechnie, and that is not bad at all.

But I also love the short summer frock with the parasol.  It can make me feel petite again, and girls, wouldn't we all want that?  I know I would feel so carefree and breezy in that outfit.

No, you will not hear Lauren's name mentioned in the 'Prada' sequel, but she does turn out some interesting work.  These items are worthy of attention, especially for young career girls just starting out.  How well I remember those days!

Remember--being short on cash does not mean you have to look cheap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Girls, Wait Till You Hear This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              The first time I heard the song "What Did I Have? (I Don't Have Now)" was when Eydie Gorme did a cover of it, belting her heart out.  For many it became the definitive rendering of that, and being the last of the belters, I have been singing it Eydie's way for years.

                              But first let me get back to "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever," one of the most ignored musicals, along with "RAGS."

                                 David and I saw a Broadway revival of it in 2011 that introduced to us a young lady named Jessie Mueller, who for several years thereafter, was the Toast Of Broadway.  Alas, Jessie, where are you now, when so needed???????????

                                   But the musical had been dramatically reconfigured so that homosexuality played a part in it, and when Harry Connick Jr. on stage wax so afraid to kiss David Turner, it became a laugh fest.  Except when Jessie was on.

                                     ENCORES has done this show with Kristin Chenowith, and the Irish Repertory Theater has done it with Melissa Erico.  I would have liked to have seen it with her. 

                                        But, like 'Merrily,' has anyone gotten this show right?  The cast album is gorgeous, and Barbara Harris gives the song I mentioned a beautiful vulnerability that makes it achingly heartbreaking.

                                          The cast album is a master class in how this show should be done right.

                                       Here is Barbara singing it the way it should be sung!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Darlings, if only Broadway was this again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, It Is Not Too Early To Start Thinking Abot Summer Wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                                       Summer will be here before we know it, so it may be a good idea to examine our closets for summer prospects.  When it comes to fashion, who knew better than the decade of the Fifties, and these models are just scrumptious.  My personal favorite is the yellow color patterned dress in the middle.

                                         The warmest season of the year is no excuse to let shirts hang, not comb your hair, or wear unattractive foot ware.  Or worse, going barefoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            I mean, I still love the green dress Scarlett wore to the Twelve Oaks barbecue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             That might not work today.  But the blue one at the top sort of replicates it for a more comfortable design.  Summer is about being comfortable but not losing one's fashion sense.

                                               So, let us start thinking about this, girls!!!!!!!!!!  Right away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Was Once The Place To Be Has Become A Visual Metaphor For A Rapidly Vanishing America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            If you were a suburban kid, as I was, the shopping mall, or any ones near you, were places to be.  The escalators, the toys, books and records departments, fashions--these were places kids like me loved going to because it was a chance to see beyond the sheltered world we were then enclosed into.  Oh, I know I am sounding like a mall rat--which I was before I galvanized myself into this blog and high fashion--but the malls were just such fun.  And some even had movie theaters, so if one desired to see a movie, one did not have to travel far.

                              Alas, this photo reminds me of so much.  How the America I grew up in is slowly vanishing, as it does for each generation. How it recalls to me the Sondheim musical "FOLLIES," my favorite of his works, whose 55th Anniversary was this past April 4, just five days ago.  Sorry I missed it, darlings, but it was also Holy Saturday.  I forgot but was brought back to the event by the photo.

                            Abandoned amusement park photos are fascinating, what with their colorful sadness.  Yet they still have a beauty to them.  Abandoned mall photos, while macabre, are just plain sad.

                            Sometimes going forward forces others to forego cherished memories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!