Thursday, February 28, 2013

Bye Bye, February!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Another month down the tubes, girls!!!!!!!!!!!  Today, we say farewell to the shortest month of the longest season!  I always feel better by the end of February; my Seasonal Affect Disorder seems to lift, and with Spring on the way, Prosperina is getting ready to come back from Hell.  I am sure we all cannot wait, either.

                                  Some birthdays today--my sister, my cousin, Robert Peck (who turns 60; I cannot believe it) and my coworker, Christopher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   From St. Bernadette to St. Valentine, this has been some month!  Wonder how March will come in tomorrow, girls, lion or lamb??????????  Only time will tell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Farewell, February!!!!!!!!!!!!  You were quite a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is This The First Oscar Winning Bitch, Darlings??????????

                         I know, I know, what you were expecting, girls!  You thought I might have saved phone sex sicko Rick Pulley for this column, or at the very least, the Cannibal Cop from New York!!!!!!!!!!  Both are rotten, but rather obvious, whereas this week's winner comes from a surprise source--not only is she an Oscar winner, but a CURRENT Oscar Winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           At the Oscar Party I was at, we all watched, amazed, as Jennifer Lawrence was announced as the winner of the Best Actress Prize!!!!!!!!!  Not my choice, dolls!!!!!!!  We all groaned with sympathy, as the poor dear made her way to the stage, and went SPLAT! on the steps, going up!  Imagine--the greatest moment of your life--and THIS is what you will be remembered for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Except she won't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Because, later on, Jennifer did something even more memorable, which would not only net her Oscar notoriety, but earns her the title as the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               At the press conference, afterwards, she gave reporters "the bird!"  You know what I mean, girls, the middle finger, the f**k finger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               What a classless bitch!!!!!!!!!!!   Clearly, this 22-year-old has no breeding. Back in the days when Hollywood cared, publicists and confidants (like Jennifer Jones, with Anita Colby!!!!!!) were hired to nurture these performers in terms of proper grooming and behavior.  But all that has gone by the wayside, and you can see the results, with Jennifer!!!!!!!!!!!!!  No Jennifer Jones, she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She thinks she is so great?????????  Well, let's see how her career holds out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Which reminds me--the scuttlebutt on the street is that Jennifer was also dissing Meryl Streep!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't know, exactly, what she said, but how dare she????????????????  Hey, Jen, let's see how long your career lasts!!!!!!!!!!!  As long as MERYL'S????????????  I don't think so!!!!!!!!!  You will be lucky if you last as long as Jennifer Lopez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   How much more bitch can you get, darlings?????????  Which makes her perfect as this week's choice!!!!!!!!!!  And proves you can dress a sow up, but you can't get class from it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Enjoy the fame, Jen!!!!!!!!!!  Within a year, you will be yesterday's mashed potatoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Happy Birthday, Shelley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Girls, can you believe another year has gone by, since last we wished Shelley Plimpton a very Happy Birthday?  And here I am now, wishing her another.  Today, Shelley (who looks fabulous and could still walk out tonight and sing her signature song, "Frank Mills," from "HAIR,") turns 66!  To think that one associated with the Aquarius age is now a Senior Citizen!  Hell, daughter Martha is now in her forties, so what do you want?????????

                                                I celebrated/acknowledged the day by getting up and listening to Shelley sing "Frank Mills."  I can't make my own personal trek to the Waverly until September 12, like the song says, which is more than six months away.

                                                 So, here is wishing Shelley another great year!  Having been a Legend Of The Musical Stage, thanks to her performance in "HAIR," then going on to produce something of a legend in herself, daughter Martha, you have to wonder about Shelley's gene pool!  It abounds with talent!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Happy Birthday, Shelley!!!!!!!!!!  "Frank Mills" Forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phone Sex Sicko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Poor Patty Jo Pulley!  First, to be saddled with that name--even if by marriage--then to be killed by her own husband.  There was even a book, "Kiss And Kill," by Dale Hudson, published back in 2008.

                                     But I am getting ahead of myself.  Of course, I was introduced to all this, via "Investigation Discovery," on their show "My Dirty Little Secrets," and, girls, I am telling you, the secrets were coming just right and left!

                                        And, of course, the actors playing Rick and Patty Jo in the reenactments were more attractive than the real ones. Though Patty Jo, I will say, at least was decent looking.  Take a look at Rick!!!!!!!!!!!  What a fat slob!  No wonder he could only have phone sex!!!!!!!!!  Who the hell would go near him?????????

                                         Ricky and Patty Jo were pillars of the community, which was somewhere near Caswell County, North Carolina!!!!!!!!!!!  The South, again, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  As soon as I heard he was an ordained minister,(whose church was called the River Of Life--oh, brother!!!!!)  she a church musical director, and they were described by all as "a Christian couple," I said to myself, "Uh huh!"  Those are the ones you have to watch out for.  You can bet there is going to be trouble in this Paradise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             One evening, in May, 1999, Rick went to what he described as "a community play."  Wonder what they were presenting?  Maybe "Dial M For Murder?" And why hadn't Patty gone with him???   When he returned home, he said, Patty Jo was missing, as if she had run off. Which was what conclusions came to, and Rick was viewed by the community as a sympathetic victim of a tragic loss.

                                                 Then, four years later, some remains were found under a bridge nearby, and they turned out be what was left of poor Patty Jo. Forensics proved she had been murdered, and the culprit was none other than Pastor Rick.  I am telling you, girls, having just read about an evil pastor in "A Land More Kind Than Home," and remembering Robert Mitchum's turn as one (though I believe he just impersonated a pastor, he was not really one!!!!!!!!) in "The Night Of The Hunter," it looks like there is more truth than fiction lets on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    The truth here was that the pastor, was, for starters, embezzling funds from his own church coffer.  He was using this to finance both an affair he was having with another woman ,(he had had one prior to all this trouble, but he and Patty Jo kissed and made up then) and to finance a highly expensive phone sex addiction!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Girls, I have a couple of things to say about Pastor Rick!  The first is, if you look at his picture, phone sex is probably the only kind of action he could get!  This woman he had the affair with probably was in it for the money, alone, and rolled him for what she could get out of him!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           But, you know, I know these types!  Rick Pulley probably went on the phones lines, trilling in a high vibrato voice, calling himself "Tiffany," or something equally euphonious, as he kicked back the high heels he was wearing, encased in stockings and panties, working himself up to a cackling orgasm, while wishing he had a vagina!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Honey, this kind of sicko has been around longer than Joan Rivers has been doing stand up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              I don't know which Patty Jo found out about first--the affair, or the phone sex bills. In any case, she confronted him with both, and Mr. Control Freak snapped, killing her on the spot!  Nice!!!!!!!!!!!  If you ask me, this guy was so dumb and naive.   He didn't have to run up high phone sex bills; all he had to do was go on Craigslist; there are enough sickos on there! He could have advertised what he wanted, gotten some local types to chat him to climax, and there would have been no need for high bills, or murder!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thank God these two did not have children!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                Rick went to trial, was convicted, and is serving a life term in prison, where he belongs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   No phone sex there, doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                   I am telling you, the next time you hear someone espousing their so-called Christianity a little too effusively--RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                    Which is why I stick with Jennifer Jones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I Think, Darlings, This Should Be Mounted As A Stage Play, Or A Musical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Sweeties, I just cannot get "Die! Die! My Darling" out of my head!!!!!!!!!  Maybe I am going round the bend, like Mrs. Trefoil. But, then, I never had a son to emasculate!!!!!!

                                Years ago, I still remember, the late lamented Glines Group on Grove Street did a rendering of the Bette Davis classic "Now, Voyager."  They did the Casey Robinson screenplay, word for word, with some of the roles being played by actors in drag!!!!!!!!!  I recall the actor playing the Gladys Cooper role--the mother!!!!!--stole the show!  That's the role I would want to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Then I got to thinking of Charles Busch.  I knew I had seen "Die! Mommy Die!, but was it a riff on "Die! Die! My Darling!?"  Only by the similarity of title.  And with a stage version of "Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte" floating around, with Varla Jean Merman, I am surprised no one has thought of reworking "Die! Die! My Darling!," as a musical, or simply, as the Glines did, mounting it as a stage drag piece?????????

                                       Where is Charles Busch when needed????????  I suppose with his adaptation of the children's classic "Bunnicula" (which I would LOVE to see!!!!) something of a hit, such an idea might not interest him, now?????????  But 'Darling" is a natural for Busch and his troupe! The question is, whom would Busch play--the nutcase Mrs. Trefoil, or the Stephanie Powers role of Patricia Carroll???????  I would love to see him do the Powers role, and see what kind of a spin he would put on that.  I, of  course, would LOVE to play the fanatic Mrs. Trefoil, where I get to force  feed the unsweetened oatmeal to my imprisoned potential daughter-in-law.  (If you have never seen the actual 1965 film, this scene alone is worth it!!!!!!!)

                                             But watch out for whomever is cast is Anna, the bulldyke housekeeper with hands of steel.   The actress Yootha Joyce just about stole the film from Stephanie and Tallulah--no small feat, that!!!!!!!!!--in the original film, and that possibility would exist on stage too,  But I might have a few scene stealing tricks up my sleeve, were I to play Mrs. Trefoil. And it would be a nice break from Fantine!!!!!!!

                                              So, how about it, loves?????????  A stage version of "Die! Die! My Darling!"  Tell Charles to get cracking at once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                "My poor Stephen!  I...I can only rejoice that he died unblemished!  A virgin soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                    Yeah, you old bat!!!!!!!!! And it's all your fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TV's Next Investigative Hottie, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Girls, not since Mark Safrik on "Killer Instinct" has there been such a hot behaviorist as Darren Kavinoky on "Deadly Sins."  Even in his elegantly tailored suits, from that church set (because I cannot for a minute believe it is a REAL church; Catholicism simply would not allow it!!!!!!!!) you can see how buff he is.  Once I mastered the spelling of his last name, (which took some time, because on the program it is flashed so quickly, and so minuscule I could not completely see it!!!!!!!!!!) I looked up some information, and discovered, that, like Safrik, he is not just a pretty face!

                                               He is a criminal attorney, and a journalist.  "Deadly Sins" is not the only program he has been associated with, though it is the only one I watch him on!!!!!!!!!!  I was relieved to discover he was not a priest, for I feared the suit masked a Father WhatAWaste, but, unfortunately, girls he is married, and with a daughter, so that is quite a chain to break away from. But who says he can't have fun??????

                                                In fact, the reason he is so buff is that he is an endurance athlete, running in all sorts of marathons, triathlons, etc.  Wouldn't it be great seeing him in his running outfit, darlings???????
Not to mention hosing him down, afterwards?????????

                                                   As for me, I would just settle for a cozy dinner with wine, joined by Darren and Mark Safrik!  The discussions we could get into, I am telling you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Saturday nights have just heated up, girls!!!!!!!!!  First, Darren on "Deadly Sins," then "Scorned Love Kills!!!!!!!!!!"


Monday, February 25, 2013

You Never Forget Your First Time, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Of course, dears, it depends upon what first time one is talking about!  For me, this date, February 25, marks the Anniversary of my first viewing--ever!--of "Gone With The Wind."  A turning point, I can tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!!   What I can't believe is that it was all of 45 years ago, when I was just the tender age of 13.

                                            At the time, I was in Seventh grade, not one of my favorite times of life!  That fall, MGM had reissued the film for the first time when I would have been old enough and interested enough to want to see it. (I was alive for the Civil War Centennial reissue, in 1961, but at age 6, it meant nothing to me!!!!!!!!!)  By the time February 25, 1968 came around, I had read the Margaret Mitchell novel, was mad for the story, and was just panting with excitement to see the film.

                                               It was reissued at the Rivoli Theater in Manhattan, which was a big show place in its day ("The Sound Of Music" had its World Premiere there on March 2, 1965). But my parents were loathe to go into the city.  North of us, in Montclair, there was a comparable movie theater called the Clairidge (which still exists, unlike the Rivoli, but is now a multiplex!!!!!!) and this is where I ended up seeing the film.

                                                That Sunday afternoon, my parents told me we were going somewhere, but would not say.  As we traveled, I at first thought we were going to my Aunt Martha and Uncle Jack's in Cedar Grove, a popular place for us to visit, back then (As it turned out, my father did; he let my mother and I off in front of the theater, and she went with me, while he visited our relations, as we saw the film!!!!!!!). When I saw the turnoff to Montclair, my hope went up, and I sort of figured it out. And when we pulled up in front of the Clairidge, in all its "Gone With The Wind" glory, I could not wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   It was a memorable viewing. When the camera first moved in on Vivien Leigh, I was so young, I was not familiar with her work. But I remember being struck by, saying to myself, "Oh, my gosh! That's Scarlett!!!!!!!"  Olivia DeHavilland impressed me as Melanie, as did everyone, with one of my favorites being Laura Hope Crewes as Aunt Pittypat.  Coming from the perspective I am at now, I can say--Olivia plays Melanie in the film with a gutsiness she does not quite have in the book.  When I look at her Melanie now, I can see the steeliness that showed her more than capable of playing Miriam Deering in "Hush, Hush....Sweet Charlotte."

                                                     This was when the film was being shown in 70mm wide screen projection.  When I saw it years later in its original 35mm ration, I preferred it.  Maybe the wide screen accounted for the only time I have ever seen this--during the credits, when the title came on screen, instead of sweeping across the screen, by letter, as it was supposed to, it was done in blocks like this:

                                                         "GONE WITH
                                                            THE WIND"

                                                       Don't ask me why. Never saw it before, or since!!!!!!!!!  But each year, I remember this day for this very special reason. I suppose some of you are wondering if I go home at night, and play the film on my DVD player, each year on this date.  I wish I could say that I do, but I don't, for the simple reason, I do not own the film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         I much prefer taking my chances for an opportunity to see it on the big screen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That is the ONLY way to see it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fantine Finally Gets A Break, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    After several centuries of occupying the position as the most beleaguered and tragic character in Western Literature, Fantine was finally given a break last night, when Anne Hathaway received the Academy Award as Best Supporting Actress of 2012 for her indelible portrayal of her in the film version of the musical. "Les Miserables."

                                      This was one of those awards that just could not be beat.  Like when Jennifer Jones won for Bernadette; how do you win over someone playing one of history's most well known saints?
Same here; with Anne portraying, again, as stated, one of Literature's most tragic figures, there was just no way she was not going to win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Not to mention her on the mark rendition of "I Dreamed A Dream," one of the most performed songs ever (only BARBRA seems not to have touched it!!!!!!).  I cannot tell you how many renditions of this song I have heard in my time, but Anne's was fresh, heartbreaking, and the way it was filmed captured the tragedy of Fantine.

                                        Suffice it to say, I was thrilled!  And didn't Anne look just stunning in her Oscar gown????????

                                         Congratulations to this former Jerseyite (Milburn, home of the Paper Mill Playhouse, where, if you look closely, you can spot pictures of a very young Anne, when she  started out there in their Children's Performance Program!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

                                             Once Anne won, and I could relax, without question, the undisputed highlight of the evening was Shirley Bassey's (now 76) rendering of her classic Sixties hit, "Goldfinger!!!!!"  Girls, I am telling you, when that intro music started, the lights came up, and Shirley sauntered to the stage in that shimmering gown, billions of people worldwide went wild, and who can blame them????????  Sassy Bassey is still just as brassy; not having heard the song in years, it was a treat, but to see its vocal originator perform it live was thrilling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Contrast she with Barbra Streisand!!!!!!!!!!  Oy vei, BARBRA, what were you doing???????  I have never heard La Strident so vocally OFF; I knew, as soon as Marvin Hamlisch's picture appeared, that she was going to do "The Way We Were," but, Babs, honey, you should have quit before you were halfway done!!!!!!!!!!!!  And she thinks she is going to play Mama Rose in "Gypsy??????" Not from the way she sounded last night.  I cannot tell my girls how shocking and illusion bursting it was to see this performer display more than a modicum of........human weakness!!!!!!!!!  I'd always thought such a thing was impossible, on her part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    On to more pleasant topics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Didn't Amy Adams look simply adorable, in her Princess gown???????  She has lost that baby weight, so now our perky Amy is back! The rumor is she is planning a sequel to "Enchanted," and her outfit looks like she was modeling one of the film's outfits already.  I should have mentioned, when discussing Anne, that, in any other year, Amy would have won for her chilling performance as a cult leader's manipulative wife in "The Master."  But even Amy knew you just can't beat Fantine!  As she doubly knows--she was considered, but turned down, for the part!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Meryl Streep was Class and Perfection Itself, when she appeared!!!!!!!!!  But, then, when isn't she???????????????

                                                        Now, we can get on to the crap--and there was lots of it!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Let's start with Seth MacFarlane!!!!!!!!!! After last night, they will drum him out of Hollywood, but quick. His tasteless song about seeing all the boobs of the leading ladies out there belongs in a drunken college boys' fraternity house, not a front line occasion, like the Academy Awards.  And did he think people who have never seen (or remembered) "The Sound Of Music," past its iconic opening moment when Julie Andrews does The Twirl, would get his joke about it?????????  He WAS  funny with Sally Field, in "The Flying Nun," sketch, but she stole the scene from him, when she said, "Shut up, I know they're going to give it to Anne!"  How gracious of Sally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           Good thing, because that clip of her in "Lincoln" seemed like she was channeling Sybil while looking like a combination of a Munchkin and Mother Ginger from "The Nutcracker!"
Not your finest hour, Sally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                Poor Jennifer Lawrence!!!!!!!!!!  The greatest moment of her life, and she will be remembered forever for taking a tumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                  And Jennifer Aniston!!!!!!!!!!  Like, honey, couldn't you at least have combed your hair??????????  It was so limp and pallid looking!!!!!!!!!!!  My stylist would never let me go out looking like that--even to do food shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                    Kristen Stewart--what the hell was that all about???????  Arriving on crutches at the Red Carpet, coming out onstage towering over Daniel Radcliffe (not her fault; everyone does!!!!!!!!!!!) but looking like she got just rolled out of bed.  She and Helena Bonham Carter must have the same hair dresser, because when it came time for the "Les Mis" tribute, I thought, at first, Carter was in costume for Madame Thernardier!!!!!!!!!  When I realized she wasn't, it confirms my opinion that she rolled out of bed, looking as she did on the set, during the entire shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                       I will close with another indisputable highlight--and that was Charlize Theron dancing!!!!!!!!!! In that gown, and with those moves, it was like the return of the Golden Age, with Cyd Charisse or Juliet Prowse!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who knew Charlize could dance????????? She should do more of it!!!!!!!!!!!!  Go Charlize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                          Of course the damn thing went till Midnight!  And by the time we got home and to bed, I was too wound up to go to sleep. I last heard our voice clock announce "1:30 AM."

                                                                             I feel like I have flown in on the Red Eye!!!!!!!  You know where I am going straight to when I get home tonight, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just Fabulous, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Ever since the two of us moved out here to Bay Ridge--coming up on a year, very soon, girls!!!!!-- we have been hearing how  Gino's, the Italian eatery on Fifth Avenue and 74th Street is the place to go!  It has been recommended to us so often!  It has been compared to going to a celebrity's place!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I have been trying to get my Monsieur to it for months!  But nothing seems to work out!  This time, I was off Saturday (which I had damn well better make the most of!!!!) and Monsieur had to go into the city for a class (to fulfill a late requirement!!!!) so I was on my own, and decided to partake!

                                     I walked in, near lunch time, and wasn't sure where I was.  When one enters, the first thing seen is a very high end pizza parlor, where that and a lot of take out orders are served up. I spotted, almost surreptitiously, a maitre d  podium, and went to it.  The hostess came, and we went into the back, which is the bulk of the restaurant, the size of which cannot be imagined from just looking at it from the outside.  "It seems bigger on the inside than out!"  "Everyone says that," she said, and smiled.

                                      Within several minutes, the most delicious young man approached me with a menu and water.  I wondered if he was on the menu!  I should wish!!!!!!!! I ordered something simple and standard--a glass (really two! Hey, I wasn't working!!!!) of Merlot, an order of Rigatoni Bolognese, and coffee, with Black and White Chocolate Mousse for desert.  I was filled, but not bloated.  The sauce was flavorful, and the quality was of such a high grade it was apparent things are done on premises!!!!!!!!!!

                                         This was matched by the atmosphere, with its light brown tones, and subdued lighting making for a very romantic experience--even in midday!!!!!  Something else I noticed--when I came in and sat down, I was the only one in the place!  Within fifteen minutes, patrons came in, and the place was packed!!!!!!!!!!!!  Just like that!!!!!!!!  Gino's is unquestionably a hot destination spot, the kind of place people go to regularly when they want to indulge in an Italian lunch; I bet some of the diners there do this every Saturday!!!!!  Good for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          And good for Gino's, which has been going strong, since back in 1964, when I REALLY was (yes, REALLY!!!!!!) still a virgin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What a step up from Vesuvio on Third, which may have been there since 1953, but which we are still afraid to go back to, ever since I found out, in late December 2012, they had earned a grade of "C!!!!!!!!"  Of course, now they have upped it to an "A," but was it really earned, or did someone pay something to someone else????????  One can't be sure, and after my last visit there, which resulted in a bit of stomach trouble,. I bemoaned the loss of a key Italian spot in Bay Ridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           But not to fear--one has been found.  Sure, it's a walk to Fifth Avenue, but for Gino's it is worth it!!!!!!!!!  Even if you don't live nearby, like us, this is a place to visit.  Cheaper than those tourist traps on Mulberry Street!!!!!!!!!!   And just as high grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Abundanza, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Career Changes For Dizzy Queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    Remember those carefree days of yore, when we were young, girls--yes, darlings, we really WERE!!!!!!!!--and we longed to be carefree, breezy career gals?????  Like Katherine Hepburn in the 1930s, Rosalind Russell in the 1940s, "The Best of Everything" gang in the 1950s, right up to Marlo Thomas as Ann Marie in "That Girl," in the 1960s, and Mary Tyler Moore as Mary Richards, in the 1970s???????

                      If you are old enough to remember this sequence, gals. those days have come and gone!!!!!!!!!   Having fulfilled (or, at least tried to!!!!!!) whatever career fantasies one might have nurtured, it is not unnatural for gay men, just like their straight counterparts, to mull over a career change!!!!!!!  And I am not talking about working as a fluffier or camera man on a porn film!!!!!!!!!!  Get those thoughts out of your head!!!!!!  This, and escort work, still requires a youth that for some of us is increasingly vanishing!!!!!!!
But, fear not, there are opportunities out there, for the enterprising Dizzy Queen!!!!!!!!!!!

                         1. Party Planner--Honey, who knows more about parties than gay men????????
                             Having spent the past quarter century or more attending others, or planning
                             your own, why not start your own organization??????  I know what MINE
                             would be--Theater Queen Partyers, where the whole event--from set to
                             costume design, is built around a specific show!  Think what I could do
                             with "FOLLIES!!!!!!!!!!!"

                        2.  Health Care--Ever since seeing Jane Krakowski, as Emma Spevak in the
                             'SVU' episode "Bound," this choice has been on the rise!  Emma may have
                              been a nurse, first, but I don't get the impression she took Advanced
                              Placement Biology, so do not be deterred, loves!!!!!!!  This career gives
                              mid-lifers the chance to work out  lingering personal issues, just like
                              Jane!  And knowing how to handle a syringe can always come in handy!

                         3.  Personal Assistant--Having spent a good portion of one's life being a
                              bitch, why not work for one?  At least you know what you are dealing
                              with up front!  Plus, it will give YOUR personal assistant a break from
                              planning YOUR days!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         4. Disney World Queen--This is fulfilling, but comes with obstacles.
                             Despite the fact that gays have worked for Disney, since the days of
                             Tommy Kirk, the organization is still not too keen on those of our
                             orientation.  So, how do you get around this?  Pass for straight?
                             Don't make me laugh!   The only way to succeed is by showing
                             up for the interview in character--and you know we gals favor the
                             Glamorous Wicked Queen (as opposed to the haggard old crone!)
                             from "Snow White," and my personal favorite, Maleficent, the Evil
                             Fairy from "Sleeping Beauty."  Most of these careers can be practiced
                             anywhere, but this one is geographically limited to Anaheim, CA, or
                             Orlando, FLA!!!!!!  No, not Orlando Bloom, though that is not a
                             bad idea!!!!!!!  Unless, you want to branch out, and do this
                             exclusively at children's parties!

                        5.  Chris Mason--This is for gays who are fed up, and don't want to
                              work at all!  It requires a heaping dose of ego and pretension, which
                               shouldn't be a problem for gays out there!  You also need to have--
                             inconceivable as it may sound for gays-- execrable taste in fashion;
                            only the most loud and garish wear will do!  You sit in a chair, drink
                            cheap wine you tell everyone is expensive port, and pontificate about
                            other people's lives that you aren't living!  Sort of the gay version
                            of Monday Morning Quarterbacking!  This should prove to be
                            the most popular, as you don't have to go anywhere, or do

                So, see darlings??????????  Career prospects aren't too bleak for gay oldsters,
after all!!!!!!!  Or you can take that course in semantics, like Tipppi Hedren did at Berkley in
"The Birds!"  Or learn how to sing in Pig Latin, like Ginger Rogers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                Only Multi-Colored Parachutes here, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


When In Hollywood, Darlings, Everyone Is Jewish!!!!!!!

                               Next to my hometown of Highland Park, New Jersey, Hollywood is the only other place in the world, where being Jewish is a prime measure of success!!!!!!  So, I have to wonder how come more of my school classmates did not end up there???????????

                                Neal Gabler confirmed this, via his book "An Empire Of Their Own: How The Jews Took Over Hollywood."  But even our lovable Gojira gets into the act!!!!!!!!  I don't know if Gojira will be at the Oscars tonight, (though I know he WOULD cut a dashing figure on the Red carpet, and he too is rooting for Anne Hathaway as Fantine!!!!!!!) but I do know that, when he goes to Hollywood for production meetings and contract negotiations, (and being a movie star for over fifty years, he has been to a lot!!!!!!!) as soon as he steps off that plane, the yarmulke goes on his head!!!!!  He says when he is in Hollywood, he is Jewish, because it insures his winning all his demands, at these meetings!!!!!!!!  And it does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  And wouldn't I just love to own a yarmulke like the one above, with Gojira's picture on it??????  Perfect for Hollywood!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   So, remember girls, if ever you find yourselves out in Hollywood, you make sure you dress properly, and talk the talk.  Shabbat dinners, shul, and all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I mean, in Hollywood, you have to be a player!  And no one knows this, better than Gojira!!!!!!!!!

                                    Size, and geographic Judaism, get him everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Surprise, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A First Look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Here is Jessie Mueller, darlings, performing Carrie in the upcoming New York Philharmonic "Carousel."  Isn't she just radiant??????????  These are rehearsal photos, so I am sure, come performance, Jessie will look more of the era, but it is an early indication of what is to come.  If only there was some YouTube footage, which would allow us to hear her on 'Mister Snow!'  I am getting rapturous, just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Apparently, members of the press were recently invited to a rehearsal, where the cast performed some of the songs, so I bet these were the first folk to hear Jessie's Carrie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I wish I had known about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           As I have said elsewhere, these are the most sought after tickets in town!!!!!!!! And now, after seeing the photos, and Jessie, they will be even more so!!!!!!!!  When I leave work each night, and pass through Avery Fisher Hall to get to the subway, I always see people hovering around the "Carousel" poster, aglow with anticipatory yearning!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who can blame them????????????

                                           But I am confused about something!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The poster features Shuler Hensley, who is playing Jigger Craigin, and Jason Danieley, who, I imagine, is playing Enoch Snow!  Makes sense to me!  Now, comes word that Alexander Gemignani, son of musical director Paul Gemignani, and a fine musical performer, (who would make an excellent Enoch Snow, too!) is doing the role!!!!!!!!

                                          So, what gives????????  Who is it , guys, Jason, or Alexander!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did Daddy Paul pull some strings to oust Jason, and get Paul in there?????  He doesn't have to; I have seen Paul, and he is much too talented for that; he can get  by on his own, thank you very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Could the two have gotten into a fistfight, because they  wanted so desperately to work with Jessie Mueller???????? Now, THAT I would believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Your guess is as good as mine, as to whom we will see as Enoch Snow, when "Carousel" goes up on February 27!!!!!!!!!  That is just five days from now--and also happens to be Shelley Plimpton's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Who knows?  Jessie may be as surprised as the rest of us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Here's hoping to be your Queen On The Aisle, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I Should Get In Touch With Sister Camille!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           That is Sister Camille D'Arienzo, darlings, whose spiritual messages on 1010 WINS each week I listen to with raptness, as they so inspire me!!!!!!!!!!!!  When it comes to having a front line for things, Sister Camille couldn't go any higher.

                            Now, as you may or may not know, girls, the most sought after tickets in town right now are those to the New York Philharmonic's "Carousel."  I have been calling in favors right and left; at present Monsieur and I are on a list, which does not guarantee us tickets, but which, let's face it, gives us more of a chance than if we were not on the list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Which is where Sister Camille comes in.  With those elegant earrings, it would not surprise me if she has tickets to "Carousel."  And who would turn her down, if she asked for a couple more????????

                              I wouldn't be surprised if Sister Camille knows "Carousel," going all the way back to Gordon MacRae and Shirley Jones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am sure she would endorse it, since it has some of the most beautiful music this side of Heaven, and has a redemptive theme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Would I really ask this of Sister Camille????????  I am not sure; it might be taking unfair advantage, and I would not want to be thought of as taking advantage of anyone, let alone one of the most celebrated Brides Of Christ!!!!!!!!!  It would be like asking for a handout from Mother Teresa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But you know what?  Whether I go or not, (remember it is going to be telecast nationally on PBS) I hope Sister Camille goes, and reports back to all of us on her commentary!!!!!!!!

                                   It would be just as inspiring as seeing "Carousel" live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Are You Wearing To The Academy Awards, Darlings??????????

                             Can you believe, girls, it is that time of year, already???????  I can remember when the Academy Awards used to be held in April!!!!!!!!  Now, as the decades have encroached, they have moved up all the way to late February, which is about as early as you can get, short of holding the damn thing on New Year's Day!!!!!!!!!!

                               But I know what you girls want to know--what am I going to wear???????  This year, there actually is reason to ask that, because we are going to a very glamorous Oscar party, at Monsieur's friend, Ellen's, place, which is not far from ours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So I have to look my best.  I haven't picked out which specific outfit, yet, but I can tell you it will be some sort of Brooks Brothers-Ralph Lauren combo!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have to make a spectacular entrance, you know!  I also have to look my best, because there is a very good possibility I will be singing at this party.  I know I have been practicing "The Bus From Amarillo" a lot, and I am ready for it, but, considering "Les Miserables" is one of the prime nominees, I will probably be doing "I Dreamed A Dream," which I  have to save all my energy for, since I have to go to some very dark places, in order to portray Fantine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               I can't wait to hear what my girls are going to wear!!!!!!!  Adolfo???????? Givenchy???????  At the very least, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Let's hope for an exciting and fast paced awards ceremony, not the kind that usually has me falling asleep on the couch, well before midnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               And I am telling you right now--Anne Hathaway had better win for Fantine!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 22, 2013

The Question Need Never Be Asked, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I would find it hard to believe that anyone reading on here would not know the 1965 film, "Die! Die! My Darling!"  The screenplay, by the veteran Richard Matheson, is taken from an obscure novel called "Nightmare!," by Anne Blaidsell, which might be interesting to read, though not nearly as fun, I am sure, as the campfest this turned out to be.  The whole thing plays like Tennessee Williams On Speed!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  It was a Hammer Films production, meaning it was shot in England. When released there, it had the one word title "Fanatic!," which made sense, considering the character of Mrs. Trefoil (Tallulah Bankhead) .  Over in America, they wanted a more commercial sounding film, and as Tallulah does say the title line within, it was changed to such, which I think is a much better title, and hints at the campiness to follow!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The plot is deceptively simple. Patricia Carroll (Stephanie Powers, fresh from "The Girl From U.N.C.L.E.," and at her most........Stephanie Powers) is visiting England with her current fiance.  She had been engaged to Stephen Trefoil, but he was tragically killed in a car accident, which may or not have been accidental. (I am talking here about suicide!!!!!!!!)  Feeling pangs of sympathy, she pays a visit--alone!!!-- to the man's mother, Mrs. Trefoil, and that is when things get loopy.  There is no Mr. Trefoil; there is mention of his passing, but I have to wonder if he too ended his life (could you imagine living with Tallulah?????) or if he just ran off, in which case I would not blame him.  She is DEVOTED (with a capital D) to the memory of her late son, Stephen, is fanatically religious about it and other rituals, and when Patricia balks at these,  and ultimately tells the old lady she was gong to break it off with Stephen, because she knew they weer not right for each other, (Uh-Huh!!!!!!!!!!) the mother goes off her bird, and the cat and mouse game begins!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Next to Tallulah, Yootha Joyce steals the show, with her portrayal of bulldyke housekeeper Anna, who would give Miss Wintour a run for her money, when it comes to nastiness!   At least Wintour is attractive, and knows how to dress!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          That is basically the entire movie.  But the story of Stephen forms an interesting back point, just like the story of Sebastian in Tennessee Williams' "Suddenly, Last Summer," from which, I am sure, this is derived.

                                             I can't get over how many in cyber argue over the question of whether or not Stephen was gay!!!!!!!!!!!!  Is there any question at all???????????  Start with the fact that he grows up with Tallulah as a mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But let's look at some other points closely!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               When Patricia met him, Stephen was, presumably, living on his own, which meant he escaped--more likely, RAN--from his mother's clutches!  He was probably attracted to Stephanie--no problem there!!!!!!--but when push came to shove, so to speak, either consummation was impossible, or Stephanie recognized the situation before Stephen did!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Had Stephen ever been with a man??????? Hard to tell.  He may have had some trysts, pre-Patricia, but my guess is he was embedded in the closet, still wanting desperately to please his mother. And when he met Patricia, who was everything Middle Class a mother could want, he saw hope.  But once those hopes were dashed--however they were-- he could not handle it, and so ended his life!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      At least that is the way I see it!  Poor Stephen!!!!!!!  At least we know Sebastian got some action on the Cabeza De Lobo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        There was just no way Stephen could have remained under his mother's roof!  Even if he had wanted to be an actress--yes, I mean actress!!!!!!!!--do you think Mrs. Trefoil/Tallulah would have allowed anyone to upstage her??????????  Even her own child?????????? Not a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          And giving up acting for Stephen's father???????? Not a chance, with that secret room, we see near the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                             You just gotta love it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But there is absolutely no question that Stephen Trefoil was gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                 Like the proverbial three dollar bill, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Is It With These Straight Men, Darlings??? The Relationship Is Not Working, So You Off The Girl Friend?????????

                             Girls, I am telling you, first Oliver Pistorius, now Rob Morrison!!!!!!!!!!!  No sooner have we heard about the shooting of Pistorius' girl friend through a door--this guy must be some shot, darlings; better than Annie Oakley--than comes the story of news anchor Rob Morrison getting into an argument with his flame, and trying to choke the life out of her, with cops summoned, and Morrison making threats during arrest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 What is it with these guys?  It used to be if things weren't working out, you said farewell, went your separate ways, and moved on.  Now, it seems like instead of breaking up, you break a neck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Things were much simpler in the days of Neil Sedaka!!!!!!!!   Breaking up may have been hard to do, loves, but now it has become downright murderous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I have to wonder--just wonder--were Pistorius, and/or Morrison drunk,  or drugged up????????  Not that that excuses them, but it gives a context!!!!!!!!!!!!  Have they been secretly taking steroids, with raging testosterone????????  I don't see the evidence in their appearance!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          At one time a "fatal attraction" meant a man falling under the spell of a maniacal woman!   Now, I think, in this post millennial age, it is the men's turn to go psycho, and, if these gentleman are any indication, they are doing a first rate job!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            And let's not forget serial rapist Greg Kelly, son of the NYPD commissioner!
He belongs in this Rouge's Gallery, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            It makes me glad I am gay, where, from what I hear, all that gets done is some bitch slapping, and the confiscation of a table centerpiece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Throw this bunch into Henrietta Hudson's on Saturday night, and let's find out how tough they REALLY are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Night We Did Not Laugh At "Judge Judy!!!!!!!"

                               Almost every night, comfortable in bed, Monsieur and I watch "Judge Judy," because we need a dose of laughter before we go to sleep.  The laughter comes both from the idiots who have the audacity to make fools of themselves on her show, and the adept way she shows them up for being the fools that they are.

                                Just recently--Wednesday, I think it was--there was a case that did not instill laughter, but got under the skin, because it was so upsetting.

                                 A family had lost its only son, at age 30, to a serious illness.  The illness was mentioned, and while I cannot recall it, I WILL say two things--I don't think the son was gay, and the illness was NOT AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!  But would either have mattered?????????

                                  The father,  representing this family, was a study in Midwestern hatred.  He may have hailed from California, but, with his overweight, Titus Mooney look, and Alexander Wollcott spectacles, he came off looking like the parental heavy in a William Inge play!!!!!!!!!!!  And he behaved no better than one!!!!!!!

                                     It seems this family wanted all their son's personal belongings--down to his shaving razor--because they felt entitled.  In most cases, you would think so.  On the opposing side were a group of his caring friends, who, it turned out, when the chips were down, took care of this tragic young man, and saw him out of this world, and into the next.  One woman, a redhead, I think was his ex-girlfriend.  They had not only given the parents the $45K of the son's estate, (which they did not deserve!!!!!!!!) but they even wished the parents well, which speaks volumes for their humanity and compassion.

                                        The parents spoke for Evil.  I would love to know the back story here, because this young man was either disowned by his family, or, for reasons made apparent by their behavior, disowned them.  It was clear they cared more for his  things than the fact that a son of theirs had been lost.  The father clearly did not give a hoot; especially when admitting neither he, nor any of them, so much as visited this young man, when he was ill!!!!!!!   And the mother!!!!!!!!  Sitting there in a plain blue dress, short cropped hair, looking hostile and stoic, like someone who, at one time, had worked for the SS!!!!!!!!!!!  I bet on their bookshelf--if they read at all, you will find "Men Kampf," and "The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich" by William L. Shirer!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         These parents were from Hell, which Judge Judy could plainly see, awarding everything to the friends who truly cared.  Not only would I love to know the back story here, I would love to see these folks nailed for the evil, inhumane monsters they are!

                                             But, then, they revealed that, by appearing on this show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Go piss on their legs, but don't tell them it's raining!  Tell them it's piss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely No Sign Of Jennifer Jones Here, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Though one character gives as a gift a medallion with the REAL Bernadette (Soubirous) on it, so the celebrated saint does get a mention.  Funny how that name conjures up associations; at least three people seeing me carrying it around asked me if it had anything to do with "The Song Of Bernadette." Which it does not.

                                           What it has to do with is a woman named Bernadette Fox, who lives in Seattle, is not happy about it, and tells the reader so in no uncertain terms.  I have never been to Seattle in my life, and the only thing that made me want to go, from this book, was the revolving Space Needle Restaurant!!!!!!!!

                                             The title refers to Bernadette's sudden disappearance, and the subsequent hunt, by her daughter, Bee, and husband, Elgie, for her.  However, I think it could just as easily have been called "What's The Matter, Bernadette?" because we never get to understand that!!!!!!!!!!  Is she bi-polar?
Menopausal?  There is a lot of talk about Bernadette's stature as an artistic genius, and the stifling of creativity thereof, but that is not enough to pull off the kind of stunt Bernadette Fox does.

                                                But the book is quirky in its own way; I would wager that its author had, at some point prior to writing this, seen the musical "Next To Normal," and was influenced by it.

                                                  And watch out for Audrey Griffin!  She livens up this book in so many ways, it would be lost without her.  At first, she comes off like this book's version of Gladys Kravitz (the nosey neighbor on "Bewitched!!!!!!!!!") but then turns into one of the novel's more heroic figures. Few characters in fiction have done such a double take so deftly, and the credit must go to Maria Semple.

                                                   That all said, I can't flat out recommend this book.  At only 330 pages, I found myself reading faster, not only to see what happens, but to get the whole thing over with.  Maybe I am not quirky enough for quirky literature, which this is.   Those who are, though, will have a fun time with it!!!!!!!!!

                                                      I wonder how Seattle feels about it?????????????

Didn't I Tell You, Darlings???????????????

                                       Girls, no sooner had the dust settled over the excitement of Jessie Mueller going into "Nice Work, If You Can Get It," come April 2, then comes word that Blythe Danner will be extending her contract with the show (which she has been in since December 18, 2012!!!!!!!) until April 28!!!!!!!!  Which means that, situation permitting, Monsieur and I will see both she and Jessie at that April 14 matinee!!!!!!!

                                           I may have to take the day off, from such excitement!  And I will bet you anything Blythe made this decision, once she heard Jessie was coming on board???????  I mean, who wouldn't want to work with the fabulous Jessie Mueller!!!!!!!!!! And I am sure Jessie will be thrilled to work with Blythe!!!!!!!!!  I know I would!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Just remember where you heard it first, girls--The Raving Queen, not that closet case Michael Reidel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               See you on the Rialto, on April 14!!!!!!!!!!!  With pearls, as a tribute to Blythe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

"Lord Help The Mister, Who Comes Between Me And My Sister......."

                                          Girls, not since Blanche and Jane Hudson have I seen a Sister Act to match that of Amanda and Kim (for Kimberly) Rollins, on last night's episode of 'SVU', entitled "Deadly Ambition."  In fact, I was so impressed by the doings of Sister Kim (and by actress Lindsay Pulsipher, who played her, really nailing this piece of trash!!!!!!!) that I decided to make this a two-for-one post, with Kim being named as Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Let me tell you, I was on to Kim from the start.  Poor Amanda Rollins (the superb Kelli Giddish) had to overcome white trash living in Georgia, a sister like Kim, whom she was always bailing out, a mother to match, ( and I would not be surprised if at some point Mama surfaces, like leeches out of a swamp!!!!!!!!!)  and a gambling addiction of her own!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, darlings, the Rollinses have lots of baggage, but you have to credit Amanda with getting hers in check.

                                               Not so Kim, who plays, not only her sister, but everyone, for what it is worth!  Even her, granted, scumbag boyfriend, gets to be a murder victim at the hands of Amanda, but the whole thing is engineered by Sister Kim, who had put her and Amanda's name onto a life insurance policy, from which she could collect a nice chunka change.  This little sister ain't so dumb, after all.  A regular Sante Kines in the making. And you know how much we LOVE Sante, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 I don't think this gal is one bit capable of telling any truth.  The ongoing baby?  Just something Kim made up to serve her agenda!!!!!!!!!  Sending her sister to jail??  Oh, she did not mean to, but then, how about that argument, with Kim saying Amanda thinks she is better than her family in Georgia (she is!!!!!!!!!) for moving up her???????.  So, just because Kim can't get it together, she is going to take down Amanda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Even that Nazi Lieutenant Ed Tucker (the very hot Robert John Burke) was taken for a ride by Kim!  Damn, she is good!!!!!!!!!!  But, once burned, you can bet Tucker is out to nail Kim's ass to the wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       It was heartbreaking to see Amanda being charged, almost losing her livelihood, reinstated, yet still maintaining sisterly loyalty.  But then came the piece de resistance!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Amanda and the SVU gang return to arrest Kimberly, and they find not  only Miss White Trash gone, Amanda's  entire--I mean, entire--apartment ransacked.  Kim's one line note--"I helped myself to some things."

                                                          Can you believe this????????  With this kind of resourcefulness, if she got her act together, Kim could start her own Moving Service in Manhattan.  Hell, she'd have a strong client base!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                             But whatever smarts she may possess, you can bet it will be put to no good! And I have a feeling we have not seen the last of Kim.  Like many viewers last night, I want to see her get her comeuppance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                               Even is she is a superb Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

'Nice Work,' Jessie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Someone out there must be listening to me, darlings, because Jessie Mueller's star is certainly on the rise!!!!!!!!!!!!  No sooner do I come down to Earth from excitement over the fact she will be singing Carrie in the upcoming NY Philharmonic "Carousel," then comes word that she will be replacing Kelli O'Hara as the female lead in "Nice Work, If You Can Get It!"

                                             Kelli's last performance is actually Easter Sunday, which is March 31, after which she will begin working on the Playwrights Horizons musical of "Far From Heaven" (with her playing the Julianne Moore role, though I can hardly see this film as a musical!!!!!!!!!!!).  Jessie steps into the show the following Tuesday, which is April 2.  And just so you know this Raving Queen does not waste time, Monsieur and I have tickets for the Sunday matinee, April 14!!!!!!!!!!  I can't wait to hear Jessie sing "Someone To Watch Over Me!"  It will melt the heart, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             I think we will just miss Blythe Danner's turn in it. She went in on December 18, for what was to be 12 weeks.  It would be great seeing both she and Jessie, but, unless Blythe renews her contract (which, who knows, she may, after hearing Jessie is coming!) , someone else will be playing the mother, come April 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Jessie's arrival is the freshest bit of Spring right now on the Rialto!  So, all you Theater Queens, gear up, in your Anne Baxter white trench coats and funny hats, to greet Jessie when she  arrives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  I can't wait, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

"Got Me A Garter Belt, Got Me A Bedroom...."

                              Listening yesterday afternoon, girls, to the Original Cast Recording of "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas" made me realize not only what a score it still has, and how proud I still am to have seen the original production, but how Susan Mansur just melted the heart when she sang her character's title song, "Doatsy Mae."

                              Remember Gwen Welles as Suellen Gay in "Nashville?"  That was Doatsy Mae, a waitress in a small town coffee shop whom no one thought of beyond that, but who reveals to the audience,by song, her own longings and dreams!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Which leads me to wonder, girls, about how many of us out there were Doatsy Maes ourselves, forging what would become our individual identities in the private fantasies of our bedroom, when we were younger???????  Garter belt, or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Maybe that is why Susan captivated me so much as Doatsy back in 1978, because I recognized a bit of myself in her!!!!!!!!!!!!  As I still did when I heard the song yesterday, with tears in my eyes, not only for the brilliance of the song, and Susan, but the passage of time. Can you believe, darlings, it has been 35 years since this show?????????????

                                  If you haven't, dig out your copy of this recording, and give it a listen, especially when Susan sings "Doatsy Mae."

                                  And don't kid me; I know some of you still have those garter belts out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"No Day Like Today," Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Now, girls, tell me, how do I write about Anthony Rapp's book, without being judgemental????????

                                       I mean, I love Anthony.  I loved him onstage in "Six Degrees Of Separation" and "Rent" (even if I did not love the shows themselves), and I just love him as Matt Spevak on the 'SVU' episode, "Bound," where Jane Krakowski shows him that little sister don't miss when she aims her gun....or in this case, syringe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         So, I was all set to embrace Anthony, when I began reading his book, "Without You."  But I just couldn't.

                                          To be sure, the book is well written, and painfully candid. While recounting his mother's battle with cancer, I had to put the book down at times; it brought me back to that horrible period of Winter 1978-Spring 1979, when my mother battled cancer.   Which is another story, for another time. Reading Anthony's experience brought mine back painfully to the fore.

                                            And I did have more than a modicum of sympathy for Anthony. He gets the break most of us who perform only dream of, in the show of his lifetime, one that has stood the test of musical theater history, and made him a Legend Of The Musical Stage.  Imagine having to balance this with a parent's terminal illness.  I know I would have cracked.

                                              So, why can't I be more embracing of Anthony?????????

                                               Well, for starters, he has a rotten temper.  It sounds like his grandmother's abusive personality skipped a generation, and filtered down into him, which accounts for (which he candidly reports) his tendency to get into vituperative fights, and his difficulties in maintaining his relationships.  Then there was the whole matter of his coming out, which I could not respect, because Anthony was one of those gays who could not admit it, claiming he was "bisexual."  He even made it with girls, which does not suggest gay to me at all. That is me being judgemental, darling, but the gays I know who really are have stuck to guys their whole life.  Anthony's setting himself up as some sort of mentor for the gay community, via his allegedly caring nature, and his sexuality, is one big diatribe of hypocrisy.

                                                   At one point, his straight brother, celebrated playwright and author Adam Rapp, confronts him head on--"You think you're so special?" he asks.  Well, Anthony is special, because of his talent, but unfortunately I have to wonder how much of that personality gets in his way.  When I recently saw Anthony on the 'SVU' episode "Lessons Learned," I was, like, "Where has he been?"  Maybe he doesn't work as much as he should because he is difficult.  Maybe he and Jane Adams should team up!!!!!!!!!

                                                   I have to applaud Anthony for writing the least flattering aspects about himself into the book.  And yet, to know him is not necessarily to love him. After reading this book, I can tell you I would not want to hang out with him.  Even if I had adored "Rent," which I did not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Hey, Anthony!  If you want to meet a REAL diva, come on!  I'll take you on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       But that's just me, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!