Sunday, November 30, 2014

Farewell To Another Birthday Month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            It was quite a November, darlings, so let's review the events!

                            1. I turned 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                             2. I had the most fabulous party ever!  Thrown by my beloved!  Not since my 8th birthday party, 52 years ago, has there been such a gala!  And the gifts!!!!!!!!!!!!  Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                             3.  Thanksgiving was wonderful, too!  Watching the Macy's parade on television, which made me feel like both Natalie Wood and Maureen O'Hara, and then dinner at Chadwick's, where they outdid themselves.  The most creamy sweet potatoes ever!  Everything was perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                              4. I watched the Roseanne Bitch Fest, and learned much from it!
                              5. The Christmas Tree at the Metropolitan Museum Of Art--my favorite!!!!--went up on the 25th!  So, the time for a visit is fast approaching!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                               6.  This month, I was, for a time, inexplicably possessed by the spirit of Hayley Mills, even though she is still alive!  But it was an enjoyable possession!
                               7. "The Nutcracker" has started performances at Lincoln Center.  I have GOT to go this year, darlings; Balanchine's production and I are exactly the same age!!!!!!!!!!
                               8. Our beloved Cujo is warm and well!
                               9. Baby Gojira has his Thanksgiving booties!  Soon, it will be time to switch over to his Christmas outfit!!!!!!!!!!!!
                             10.  The cold weather is setting in!  Break out those Victorian novels, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              See you all in December!


25 Days Till Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Well, girls, it's the thirtieth of November, and also, I believe, the First Sunday Of Advent, so the fact cannot be denied--Christmas Is Coming!  We are at exactly the 25 day count, so there is no turning back now.

                               Isn't it exciting, darlings??????????????  Another Holiday Season!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               And, to kick things off, from the 1961 Broadway musical, "Subways Are For Sleeping," its famous Christmas song, "Be A Santa!"  The number became a ballet, and one of those dancing was a young dancer with aspirations--Michael Bennett!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Seasons Greetings, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Maybe Jessie Mueller Can Help Diane Paulus Get Down From Her Bitch Perch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              The word on the Street is this, hons--

                               If I were one of New York City's top composers or directors, and found out I had just snagged Jessie Mueller--still wowing them at the Sondheim in here heartfelt, TONY winning performance in "Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"--for my latest project, I would be dancing from the rooftops!!!!!!!!!!!

                                But not Diane!!!!!!!!!!!  She is playing Miss Coy, like she has no idea what has going on, and is not even aware of Jessie.

                                  Like, who can not be aware of Jessie?  And second, Diane, get over yourself!!!!!!!!!  Just because "Pippin" worked out, you are still in a lot of trouble with the prospective "Finding Neverland," so, frankly, you need Jessie more than she needs you!  Everyone in town wants her!!!!!!!!!  And for good reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The project Jessie has been nabbed for is an interesting one, with a checkered past--a musical adaptation of the 2007 film "Waitress," starring Keri Russell, and written and directed by Adrienne Shelley, who, in a tragedy too great to be fiction, was murdered on November 1, 2006, in her Village apartment by some scumbag construction worker named Diego Pilco, who went to robe her, she discovered it, so he killed her, staging it to look like a suicide.  For which he got a 25 years prison sentence.

                                   I don't know if the musical will deal with all that, but it is scheduled to begin at the American Repertory Theatre, in Boston, where "The Glass Menagerie" started.  Why Diane is being so coy about Jessie is beyond me.  Any project is lucky to have Jessie with it, as it will boost street cred, plus the millions devoted to Jessie will flock to see it.  I plan to already, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    So, Diane, don't screw this chance up!  Otherwise you will never bounce back--just like Julie Taymor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Jessie, I can't wait to see you in this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Just LOVE Lisa And Julie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  "Awesome sauce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                  "Wow! The only one I know who says
                                                     that is--
                                                    Julie?"--Discover Card Commercial

                     Darlings, not since "The Patty Duke Show" has there been a set of such fun filled lookalikes as Lisa and Julie on the Discovery Card commercial.  Now, Julie is the one who works,
while Lisa is at home, trying to figure out her FICA score.

                       The dynamics here are fascinating, girls, because these twins live very different lifestyles.  Julie is obviously out there working, earning an honest dollar, while Lisa is either a ne'er do well, or maybe she did too well, and netted herself a rich husband; in either case, she can curl up on her couch, not having to work, and only worrying about absurdities like that FICA score.

                          Discover Card has a series of other commercials, but  Lisa and Julie are my favorites!
They should build some more ads around them. So we can learn about those differing lifestyles.

                             Such devoted sisters, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                            

Friday, November 28, 2014

Not James Joyce, Not Joyce Maynard, But Joyce Carol Oates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I know girls, I know, with so many Joyces out there, it gets confusing!  But Joyce Carol Oates has been cranking them out, at a steady rate, since I was a wee thing.  Which she still continues to do.  She writes well, is respected within the literary community, but the problem, I find, is that she is a mixed bag.  She can be brilliant, as in "Bellefieur," or "We Were The Mulvaneys," or she can fall flat, like "A Bloodsmoor Romance."

                                  This is the first time I have read a story collection of hers, and she gets it half right.  Not all the stories in "Black Dahlia, White Rose," are gems; in fact, only the title story is, and let me tell you, nothing else in the book matches it.  Too bad it was not expanded into a novel!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The collection is an assortment of dysfunctional human relationships; in several tales, there is a supernatural component.  "Roma" recalls Daphne Du Maurier's "Don't Look Now," while "Spotted Hyenas--A Romance" is as macabre as they come.

                                    Still can't hold a candle to Shirley Jackson, whose collections I never want to end.  I knew I would finish Joyce's, and, yet, I could not wait until I had!  I think she paints better on a larger canvass, via her novels.

                                     So, I am not going to give up on Joyce.  In fact, I have to read what put her on the map, decades back, "Them!!!!!!!!"   But read this one knowing the first story cannot be topped!!!!!!!!!!

                                     As we all eagerly await the New York Times' Lists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Cannot Wait For The Roseanne Bitch Fest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           For the past several days, on ID, Roseanne has been touting how  she is going to hold a marathon of "Deadly Women," leading up to her new show this evening, "Momsters--When Moms Go Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                             So, on this post Thanksgiving Day--where was the green bean casserole, darlings?????????--I am going to curl up and watch these bitches go at it.

                              I especially cannot wait for the one, pictured below.  This is Maria Deasy, and she plays my favorite Momster in the trailer--the blonde former high school queen--you can just tell--now out to make her daughter into what she still wants to be, who slams the door on her rival, screaming at her, "I've had it!"
Isn't this just something?? ??? Look at that face, and that blouse!  You just know this is going to be some Camp Fest, not a psychological examination of real Moms From Hell, like Charlotte Bayes (the fictitious character from "Churchgoing People," on "Cold Case!!!!!!!!!!!!!"), Catherine Pelzer, or Patsy Ramsey!!!!!!!!!  I mean, that would be just too realistic?  And Roseanne realistic??????????

                                It starts at 2PM today, girls, so be sure to curl up with me, Gojira, and Baby Gojira for this Camp Hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Happy Black Friday, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Is There Such A Thing As A Thanksgiving Bitch???????????????????

                          The trouble with Thanksgiving, darlings, is that it always falls on Thursday.  And so, too, does the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!  How does one find a winner for that day?  Some deranged Dad who, instead of carving the turkey, carves up his family?  Some overwrought Mom who throws the turkey at the family, and walks out the door?

                            One can't always count on such tings to happen.  So here is my choice, for this year!

                             The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, is--Anyone Caught Serving Swanson Or Banquet Frozen TV Dinners Today, Instead Of A Full Meal. On This Thanksgiving Day!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I know there is extreme poverty and need out there!  I am no Scrooge; never have been!  But, dolls, even the soup kitchens, in Manhattan and about, serve better meals than this!  As well as some churches, who open up their basements, serving meals--real meals--to the lonely or the needy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                There is no excuse for being on the receiving end of a Thanksgiving Bitch!

                              Banquet on THIS day????????????????  Hell, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cream Those Onions, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Creamed Pearl Onions Au Gratin!  That is what I think of, when I hear the word "Thanksgiving," which is when we eat things we don't ordinarily eat the rest of the year.

                               I mean, do you know the Pilgrims probably ate venison?  I don't when this turkey, cranberry sauce, potatoes, and veggie casserole routine came onto the scene, but that is the way things are  now.  "Distinctly Middle Class," you say?  Yes, it is; it's the one day where we are all allowed to be?  I bet even MERYL's table is bedecked with such things.  Unless Stanley Tucci is doing the cooking, which he very well may be.

                                 For some, it's the green bean casserole!  For me, it's Creamed Pearl Onions Au Gratin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Enjoy whatever your taste buds crave, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gojira Says, "Stuff It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            Of course he really means best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving!  And what a day he has ahead of him!  He is going to Glendale, Long Island, where the Mother House of the Sisters Of Mercy is, to help Sister Camille D'Arienzo with the day--cooking for the sisters, having dinner with them, feeding the needy, and entertaining the children, whom he loves.  The sisters, in return, have cooked a big turkey, just for Gojira--and you know he he will chow down on that!

                              He can't wait--and neither can we!  So, have a great Thanksgiving Day, darlings, as we remember with gratitude what we have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Even if it isn't Prada, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Awwwwwwwwww, Isn't That Sweet?????????? Gojira Sends Us All Thanksgiving Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Gojira, and of course Baby Gojira, are just so lovable, so when I saw this, I knew they both would want to send their Thanksgiving wishes and love to all those readers out there.

                               And they need hugs too.  They both love children, and are affectionate, so if you should run into Gojira--because Baby Gojira stays with us--give him a big hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                That goes also for Cujo (aka Ares) the best dog in Bay Ridge, who resides on 77th Street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Happy Thanksgiving To All The Animals In Our Lives We Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What If Priscilla Mullen Had Been A Hottie???????????????

                                        That's the question on my mind, this day before Thanksgiving, loves!  We all know Myles, John and Priscilla, from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's 1858 poem, "The Courtship Of Myles Standish."  And many of us know Priscilla through the Warner Bros. cartoon rendering of her, where she is made to look like a parody of prune faced Edna Mae Oliver.

                                          The consensus is that these were not very hot people.  Myles Standish, especially, who, though a Captain, did not even have the gonads to propose himself to Priscilla. He must have looked like Wallace Shawn!!!!!!!!!!!!!  As for John Alden, whom she did marry, what if her were a hottie, like, say, Jake Gyllenhaal???????  And suppose Priscilla resembled the likes of Julianne Moore, Kate Winslet, or Amy Adams?   Even Priscilla Lopez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Would Thanksgiving have been the same?  Would we be celebrating the same way?  If, at all?  I have to wonder.  Maybe, maybe not.

                                             But one thing is clear.  However the Pilgrims looked or didn't, they could not cook for shit!  We owe the culinary splendor of Thanksgiving dinner to the Native American Indians, long before Satan conceived Martha Stewart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Something to mull over as you munch on your turkey, tomorrow, loves!

                                               And I know what some of you girls REALLY want--you want to get your hands on Jake's Junk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Ha! Ha! Ha!

                                                 Happy Thanksgiving, Loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

This Is Not A Great Time Of Year To Be A Turkey, Dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Only this year, the wild turkeys, at least in Brookline, Massachusetts, where Sylvia Plath hailed from, are doing something about it.  I doubt they were empowered by her poetry, or "The Bell Jar."  More likely, they were triggered by Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" and 'Tippi' Hedren.

                                The wild turkeys in this town have begun to rebel, darlings!  They are attacking citizens because they are MAD AS HELL, AND THEY ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!

                                 It's bad enough the American worker finds their head on the chopping block. But the poor turkeys, particularly this time of year, are that way, literally.

                                  Apparently, the Brookline turkeys feel there are other options.

                                   Remember, as Christine Pedi, impersonating Liza Minnelli, says, "Once you kill the cow, you gotta have a burger!"

We Should All Have THIS View Of The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I have always loved this shot from the 1947 film, "Miracle On 34th Street," which used to turn up on TV both at Thanksgiving and Christmas, when I was young. I hope my girls all know that the two actors, seated, are Natalie Wood and John Payne.

                                To this day, some part of me is convinced that there is some magical apartment in Manhattan today, with this exact window view.  In reality, I am sure the scene was shot on a set on the Fox lot, with rear projection.

                                   The apartment belonged to Natalie's mother, Doris Walker, played by Maureen O'Hara, who, interestingly enough, turns out to be the only cast member, at 92, still alive. So, of course, before she drops. the Academy, in the forthcoming year, is going to give her an honorary Oscar.

                                    But what I would give for that apartment, and that view!  Wherever it turns out you watch the Macy's Parade, or even if you don't, enjoy your Thanksgiving Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     And bring back that Forties glamour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Certain To Make Many Best Of The Year Lists! But I Warn You, Darlings, It Is Wrenching!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  This may be one of the best books of the year, but it is also one of the most depressing.  I cannot tell you how caught up I was not only in the story of the Learys, but the transition of their Queens neighborhoods, particularly two areas with which I am extremely familiar--Woodside and Jackson Heights.

                                     Eileen Leary is an admirable heroine who is put through a personal Hell of her own, when her beloved husband Ed, a scientist and academic, is diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's, in his early fifties.  What I learned, horribly enough, was the younger one gets it, the more aggressive the disease, and the faster it takes one out.

                                      The story is compelling, with some gorgeous passages that show Matthew Thomas' promise as a writer--this is his debut novel, and autobiographical in part, as what happens to Ed Leary happened to his own father!!!!!!!--but there were times it was almost too much to bear.  There were several times, reading on the subway, I found myself crying silently--a reaction books do not often elicit from me.

                                        This is the sort of thing that drives one to Candace Bushnell, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

                                          But it is too good to miss.  If you can handle it, steel yourself. But if you are in situation where a family member or loved one is facing a debilitating illness, I urge you to avoid it--for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Mystery Of Paula Zahn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Girls, I ask you, where the hell was Paula Zahn, last night?

                             There my beloved and I were, resting after a long, but pleasant day of some work both pleasant and humanitarian, waiting in a narcoleptic state for Paula to whisk us off to Dreamland, as only she can, more potent than general anaesthesia.

                               At one point, Tamron Hall was on with her crime program, which was intriguing, but my concentration was beginning to blur.  I asked my beloved about Paula, and he maintained it was not 10PM yet.

                               Imagine my distress when I got up to use the bathroom, only to find it was past 10 PM.  What was Tamron doing in Paula's spot?

                                Was last week the Season Finale of Paula?  No one said a word.  Was Paula just dumped for the evening or what?  Shows how little she is regarded around ID, I am telling you!

                                   Even if only for sleep, Paula does serve a purpose.  So, why wasn't she on last night!

                                    Inquiring minds, and this bitch, want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Girls, Who Would Beleive Anna Wintour Is Afraid Of Anything?????????????

                            What with the week I have had, darlings, the Holiday Season fast approaching, and being the Raving Queen, with all that entails, it has taken me a bit longer these days to process my thoughts, these days.  So, this was just recently brought to my attention.

                              I had been aware that Anna, Grace and Company had moved their offices out of Conde Nast in Times Square (which, I personally think, is a mistake; you hear that, Anna????????) and into offices downtown in the new building on what everyone knows as the World Trade Center.

                               Now, putting Anna Wintour, the woman, who, let's face it, runs this town, on hallowed ground is not bad, logically speaking.  But what just recently came to my attention is that, with all the construction having gone on, scores of rats are running around in the area, wreaking havoc--and Anna, yes ANNA!!!!!!!--is terrified of them.

                                Can you believe it?  A couple of tiny rodents are frightening the Editor-In-Chief of VOGUE???????  Frankly, if I were Grace, I would be more worried.  What if these pests get to the fabrics????????????

                               There is only one solution, as I see it.  If ANNA is truly afraid of the rats, bring on someone whom the rats would be terrified of, without question--

                                 MERYL STREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was The Island Of Misfit Toys A Metaphor For Homosexuality??????????????

                      I mean, really, girls, with the Holidays fast upon us, the question must be asked.  Those of us old enough to remember the original broadcasts of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" on NBC (and the very first broadcast was in 1964; my God, that was exactly 50 years ago, this year!!!!!!!!!!!) always asked the same question when  the story got to this point--What the hell was wrong with the doll?   Was it a lesbian?  Is that why straight girls did not want to play with her?

                      Actually, darlings, as you would expect, I loved The Island Of Misfit Toys.  I loved the song, and the toys, and it was always the place I wanted to got to, to find refuge, same as Rudolph, Yukon and Herbie.

                      Who could imagine that what was supposed to be a routine children's Christmas special would turn out to be so relevant today, as one watches Rudolph being horribly bullied, sobbing to Clarice's rendition of "There's Always Tomorrow," and everyone finding a community (the island) where they can be themselves, only to learn they have a place in the world at large, too.  This seems to resonate even more today.

                       Which brings me to something else.  These Christmas specials we watched as children in the Sixties all had happy endings, but to get to them, you had to wade through some pretty traumatic stuff.  Charlie Brown buys a Christmas tree, and thinks he has killed it.  The Grinch treats Max horribly.  And Belle's song in "Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol," "Winter Was Warm,"  is one of the most achingly poignant love songs I have ever heard.  I still thrill to Jane Kean's rendition.

                         But the worst, by far, I am telling you, was "The Little Drummer Boy."  This poor boy--practically a juvenile Fantine--with no family, and the animals his only friends, has his best friend, a lamb, violently run over by a wagon, which is shown in all its sadistic glory.  One is sobbing at this point, but then he approaches the manger, where lies the Infant Jesus, and plays the drum, while the song is intoned.  Then he holds out the dead lamb, and, if I recall right, in a foreshadowing of Jesus' Resurrection, the lamb is restored to the little boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         After the first viewing, I could not bring myself to watch this.  I don't care that Greer Garson was narrating.  Why did we, and subsequent generations of children, have to be tortured psychologically, in order to appreciate the joys of Christmas?  No wonder so many of us wanted to be on The Island Of Misfit Toys.  It was safe.

                           Walt Disney did enough in the childhood trauma market!!!!!!!  Why was it necessary at Christmas?  What lessons did the adults, who created these shows, think they were trying to teach us????????

                             OK, I said my piece.  Now, to make you feel safe once again, darlings, let us go back to "The Island Of Misfit Toys."  Enjoy!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

When The World Feels A Little Topsy Turvy, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Which it is beginning to, right now, girls!!!!!!!!!!  With the year now starting to wind down, having taken four days to accept, finally the fact that I am 60 years old, and with the Holiday Season looming ahead, it is no wonder I feel as worn out as Lil Dagover being carried through the Corridor Of Craziness in "The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari."

                                   But, really, girls, can you believe what we are facing?  And the weather is as cold as the proverbial witch's teat. Not that I would know about such things, darlings. Well, witches maybe.  But, with Winter seeming to be the longest lasting of the seasons, it seems like it has arrived already, which will make the actuality of the season itself seem longer.

                                   And, loves, the toll this season takes on all our waist lines and figures.  Egg Nog, hot toddies, cookies and such may be traditional comforts, but these days they go straight to where they shouldn't. Or where one would rather they not be.

                                    Can we fight Time?  Of course not. All we can do is enjoy the frenzy, as we are caught up in it!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And avoid being trampled on, on Black Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Now Here's A Wonderful Christmas Idea, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Some of you out there may remember--or owned, as I did-- Thimble City. This was like a miniaturized set of a small town, with roofless buildings, mounted on plastic holders to stand it up, keeping it in place.  The cars, and people were controlled by magnetic wands that you ran under the board to get them to move anywhere you wanted.

                            I would not be surprised that many burgeoning gay children owned this. After all, the game gave us something we weren't capable of having then--control--so any of you who developed into Big Control Queens, this is probably where it all stemmed from.

                             Now, hold these thoughts.  Because I would like to update this idea to today

                              How about updating the concept of Thimble City, to "Asylum," on "American Horror Story?"  The bedroom set below, or the day room could be replicated like Thimble City above, with action figures for all the characters guided by similar magnetic wands.  You could be
Sister Jude, Pepper, Lana, Kip, Dr. Arden, or my personal favorite, Sister Mary Eunice!  You could even choreograph your own "Name Game" number!

                                 Almost like spending a night in the Asylum!  I am telling you, dolls, the sales for this would go straight through the roof.  Cha Cha Heels would be forgotten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Keep it in mind, darlings!  I've been good, Santa!  And THIS is the toy I want for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those Broadway Lights Are Dimming Once Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         It seems like more times this year this has happened. Tonight, at 7:45PM, Broadway will dim its lights, in honor of the passing of Mike Nichols, who died two days ago, of a heart attack, at age 83.

                           He did quite a lot.  He won nine--nine, darlings!!!!!!!!--TONY Awards.  He introduced us to Mrs. Robinson. And he found a little girl named "Annie" a home on Broadway, and a place in the pantheon of Musical Theater.

                            MERYL worked with him several times.  Like Woody Allen and Robert Altman, Mike Nichols was one of those directors everyone wanted to work with.  Including me, lambs, but now that boat has sailed!

                              Oh, lest I forget, Nichols was the Executive Producer of one of my most fondly remembered shows, "Family," with Sada Thompson, James Broderick, Gary Frank, Kristy McNichol, and Meredith Baxter Birney, as Nancy.   It was like watching your own family drama, or recognizing that there is drama in every family's life, each week on Tuesday nights.

                                 Who can forget "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?"  Mike Nichols brought that to fruition in the memorable 1966 film version that netted both Elizabeth Taylor and Sandy Dennis Oscars.  Gay men have been playing it at parties for years, darlings!  Believe me, I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   So, Broadway, and the arts world loses another treasure. Rest In Peace, Mike and though the lights may dim this evening, the legacy of what you have done will not.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Remember When Comic Book Art Was Better, Darlings????????????

                                 When I was a child, in the Sixties, I used to think the best comic book art was what came out of the 1930's and 1940's.  Now, as I get older, I realize how closer the art of the Sixties was to that period, and how the art work, while more sophisticated today, loses something in the translation.

                                     The issue pictured above was my very first issue of Justice League Of America.  I actually owned this once, and it not only introduced me to the Justice League, but the Justice Society Of America, who were on Earth Two, and mostly stemmed from the 1940's.   People like Doctor Fate, whom I so wanted to be.  Or Starman, whose red costume and green cape made me long to be both a super-hero, and have the artistic skill enough to become a comic book artist. Alas, none of that came true.

                                      I wish the artists today would look at the work of the past, and go back, stylistically to it. When I look at the heroes I grew up on today, they seem so unrecognizable.   When something works, stick to it, don't change it for change's sake.

                                        I mean, just look at Starman!!!!!!!!! Who wouldn't want to fly through the night, looking like this?????????

Oh, That Ruby McCollum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Girls, I thought I knew all the cases, but the episode on Tuesday of "A Crime To Remember," entitled "The Shot Doctor," took me by surprise.

                                This story cries out to be made today as a film, because the role of Ruby--which I could see Viola Davis doing--is Oscar gold for any actress who takes it on.  Too bad Philip Seymour Hoffman is dead; he would have made an excellent Dr. Leroy Adams.  As for Ruby's husband, why, Denzel, Samuel L. Jackson, or that type, would be perfect as Sam McCollum, Ruby's no good husband.

                                 Poor Ruby !  She got it from all sides--literally.  All she wanted was a better life for herself; too bad she did not take her chances, going north to, maybe, Smith or Vassar.  Instead, she stayed where she came from--Live Oak Florida.   Now, remember, girls, Florida at that time was still very much like the Old South. Negroes worked in the fields picking tobacco, and the place was an undeveloped swamp; it had not become the mecca of my parents' generation, a notion which that nut, Jim Dooley, fostered, and flourished for nearly fifty years.  Only now is that image of Florida beginning to fade.

                                 When Ruby met Sam, she thought she was marrying up.  While she was the wealthiest Black woman in town--amazing for the time, 1952-- Ruby had business sense, and knew how to keep the books.  What she did not know was that her husband and Doctor Adams were in a partnership, operating an illegal gambling hall, where Bolita--a kind of Bingo--was played.  That Doctor Adams, as you can see, was one piece of sleaze, and so many of these white, straight Southern men wanted to get it on with Black women, going back to the plantation days.  I always wondered why; was the dark meat softer and finer?  Or was it--I think--more than likely a power trip, showing some kind of ownership over these women they had relations with?

                                     Ruby's husband, Sam, was cheating on her, with some tramp school teacher.
Sam knew about Dr. Adams, but kind of looked the other way, as he needed to keep the business afloat. This union produced daughter Loretta, a light skinned child who was unmistakably Adams'.  Sam continued to love her, and live with Ruby.

                                       Eventually, Adams developed higher aspirations, wanting to run for the State Senate, and maybe, eventually, Governor. So Rudy and Sam were liabilities.  He distanced himself from Sam's business, but he made it clear he would keep things going with Ruby.  When she became pregnant again by Adams, she went to see him. She wanted to get rid of it.  She had recently discovered he had performed a similar procedure on Sam's tramp girl friend, so why couldn't he do it for her???????  Ruby had had it, with all these men, so she took out a gun, and shot the doctor dead.

                                        I say good riddance!  She ought to have shot Sam, too!

                                         Ruby was tried, found guilty, imprisoned, and lost her mind there, and was removed to a mental health facility.  In 1974, she was released, dying at 91 in 1992, at a nursing home in Ocala, Florida.  What she did in the time between is anyone's guess. As is the location and occupations of those children.

                                          Poor Ruby.  All she desired was a better life, but her limitations only allowed her to go about it the wrong way.  I think Adams deserved what he got--more than what Ruby got, who did not deserve her lot at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            But, what a gem of a story, girls!  Someone should start writing that screenplay now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Celebrity Bitch This Week, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               What is it with these sleazy men in Hollywood?  First, Steven Collins, and now Bill Cosby.  Mothers afraid to have their prepubescent daughters in proximity to Roman Polanski now have to worry the same about Cosby.

                                   With all these so-called allegations coming forward, they are more than just allegations.  Also confirmed by his cancellation of future appearances.

                                      This guy, who got has big break with Robert Culp on "I-Spy," back in the Sixties, seems like he has been hiding things in true spy fashion for a long time.  I have a feeling more women and girls may crawl out of the woodwork yet.

                                         The minute I heard the story about Cosby, I knew he would make Bitch Of The Week. I was never enamored of him, anyway, but many brought that whole family values thing he projected on his show, so he has betrayed not only his victims, but his fans.

                                            You could not ask for a better Bitch Of The Week than Bill Cosby, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Wonder what Phylicia Rashad and Lisa Bonet think of all this???????????????


Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Just How Old Is Jenny Rebecca???????????? And, For That Matter, Christopher Michael???????? And Just What Are They Doing??????????

                                                 "Jenny Rebecca, four days old,
                                                  How do you like the world, so far?"--
                                                       1970s Gerber commercial

                                     How many of my girls remember this quasi-nauseous commerical for Gerber's products?  They did a male one, too with a kid named "Christopher Michael," only they expanded his life span to four weeks.

                                      Darlings, if I were them, being fed, burped, and put to bed, I would have complaints.  Anyway, I wouldn't be able to verbalize them!!!!!!  Who could remember that far back, besides myself???????????

                                       Well, that was THEN, and this is NOW!!!!!!!!!  I have to wonder about Jenny and Christopher, and where they might be today.  Does Jenny wear a power suit, and bitch to her staff?  Is she a hooker working Sunset Strip?  Or is she a trailer trash type, like Mama June???????????

                                          As for Christopher Michael, he could be a CEO who lives in the suburbs, is active in his church, but cheats on his wife with office tramps!  He could be White Trash, like Sugar Bear!
He could be in construction, a drug dealer, or in prison by now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Which do you prefer, girls?  I prefer Jenny as the trailer trash Mama June, and Christopher Michael as the adulterous CEO!!!!!!!!!  What do you think?

                                               One thing I know, which you may have noticed I did NOT mention!!!!!!!!!!
Neither of these babes turned out homosexual.  Gerbers would never endorse THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is the Jenny Rebecca commercial.  Or, at least the song, expanded upon by none other than BARBRA!!!!!!  Trust her to get into the act, back then!  After all, she did disco with Donna Summer!

The babies would be in their forties now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Such Fun, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               After reading Francine Prose's novel, which brilliantly portrayed bohemian Paris in the Thirties, with a bit of the Holocaust mixed in, I needed something  lighter.  Not that "Death In The Headlights," with its mixture of greed, abandonment, avarice and murder is "Mary Poppins."  But it trumps the horrific reality of Jewish extermination, I cam telling you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Mark McNease is getting to be the Joyce Carol Oates of mystery witters; he just cranks them out, darlings!  One thing I am increasingly noticing is his unique ability to create female characters, who turn out, so far, to be more interesting than his gay male ones.  In the two books so far comprising the Pride Trilogy, I was so taken with Detective Linda Sikorsky that I yearned for a novel centering around her.

                                 Well, I got my wish, darlings!  "Death In The Headlights" is that novel, and Detective Linda is so worthy a heroine she deserves a series of her own.  Kyle and Danny are on Linda's turf now, she being newly transplanted to the South Jersey/New Hope, PA area.  Linda is fascinating, a recently come-out lesbian who, despite her having been a cop, might not be as butch as you think.  Let me put it this way, I would not cast someone so obvious as Melissa McCarthy as Detective Linda, but someone a bit more feminine and soft!  Chloe Sevigny might be interesting!  And what an edge she would bring!

                                   Who knew aristocracy existed in South Jersey?  I never did, and I grew up in Jersey.  Central Jersey, that is!!!!!!!!!!   Cross Creek Farm, and its inhabitants, come off as some sort of ghoulish extension of Manderly; one expects someone there to be a distant relation of Mrs. Danvers!

                                      And, true to form, Mr. McNease has two new and fascinating female characters here.  The first, that Charlotte Gaines, is some piece of a work; all I will say is, we have seen her kind before, girls, and you all know how trash ends up--in the garbage!  Charlotte is given quite a lot of play; more so than the novel's most fascinating character, discarded heiress Justine Creek, once a drug addict who stole from her family, now a bohemian, aging hippie folk artist type, eking a living by family wealth and painting.  We should all be so lucky.  My only disappointment was I kept hoping Justine would have more of a play in the story, but her appearance in the story amounts to a cameo!  Burt what a cameo!  I could see Sarah Paulson playing her!!!!!!!!  And how about Kate Winslet, or Jennifer Jason Leigh, as Charlotte?????????

                                 I had such fun with this, I cannot wait to see how the Pride trilogy concludes or what is in store for Detective Linda!

                                  But, Mr. McNease, please, PLEASE think about some way of bringing back Justine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Who Would Have Expected This From Sarah Paulson??????????????

                         I am telling you, there are more actor crossovers going on these days.  First, Celia Keenan-Bolger navigates from Musical Theater to Drama, and now the reverse is done by...Sarah Paulson?????????

                          That's right, darlings!  Sarah Paulson!  Whom I have just loved with Jessica almost ten years ago in "The Glass Menagerie", (when she played Laura, before Celia defined the role!!!!!!)  not to mention her brilliant turn as sociopath socialite Anne Gillette on 'SVU," who makes murder such a fine social occasion, and knows the outfit and wine to go with each dastardly deed!  You just gotta love her!  And now there is Lana Winters, (aka "Lana Banana") who is dramatically brilliant on AHS' "Asylum."

                            This is where I want to spend some time, dolls!  Especially when we get to episode 10, where, in a dream sequence, the inmates, in the day room, dance to Shirley Ellis' 1964 hit, "The Name Game."  You should see Jessica Lange dance!  But who knew Sarah Paulson could?  From the camera editing, the look on her face, and the way she moves in those fabulous red pumps, Sarah Paulson definitely has Musical Theater chops, and I want to see her in a musical.  The inventive chroreography here was by Zach Woodley, borrowed from "Glee."  This is a sequence that Theater Queens will just love!  Everyone gets into the act--even Pepper,, who proves herself an adept dancer!  But Sarah Paulson is a revelation, and more must be revealed of this multi-talented performer!

                             Like a musical show of her own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I posted it earlier, but for those who missed it, here is "The Name Game," again!  Keep your eyes on Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Darlings, It Is Official!!!!!!!!!!! Today, I Am 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         I thought I would open with Dorothy Collin--from "Follies," of course!--because, when she was alive, we shared the same birthday.  I still share with Owen Wilson and the brilliant Chloe Sevigny, but it's just not the same as Dorothy!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           As people have said to me already, "Welcome to the Sixties!"  I thought I experienced the Sixties when I lived through that histroic decade, from ages 6 to 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Quite a difference now, girls!  I have heard some call this the Decade Of Decline, but I intend to keep on going a bit longer.  Twenty one thousand, nine hundred days on Earth is a lot, but not enough, with things as they are, right now!

                           Today is going to be low key, with relaxation, and dinner at Peppino's.  Thankfully, they are open tonight; they are closed on Mondays!

                            So, the Raving Queen has another birthday, but a new decade!

                            I opened with Dorothy, but I am ending with Yvonne De Carlo!  Singing, of course, "I'm Still Here," from "Follies!"  Because I am!  Still here, that is!

                             You are all fabulous, darlings, and I will keep you posted, as I navigate another year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 17, 2014

Happy Birthday, Neva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Today is the birthday of one, who, especially among Theater Queens, will forever be one of Broadway's chosen children!!!!!!!!  I am talking about Neva Small, who became a Legend Of The Musical Stage, back in 1967, when at the age of 14, she sang "I Wonder How It Is," in "Henry, Sweet Henry."  And who could forget her as Chava, in the film version of "Fiddler On The Roof," just four years later?????? Did you know she actually auditioned for the original production, when she was 11????????

                                Neva is no longer that little girl or ingenue.  Today, in fact, she turns 62, but she is still out there, and, when she occasionally surfaces in  performance, those in the know flock to her.

                                  Her voice is still wonderful, and she has lost nothing of her earlier luster and stage presence.  I am honored to have so legendary a performer's birthday be on the day before mine!

                                   So, Happy Birthday, Neva! and many more!  Keep proving that talent does not stop with age--it simply ripens!!!!!!!!!

                                    Remember  that, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks For Coming To My Party, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              They came from as far as Pennsylvania, and as close as 25 blocks away.  My birthday gathering yesterday, at the Greenhouse Cafe, in Bay Ridge, truly did turn out to be the Social Event Of The Season!!!!!!!!!

                                And the gifts!  Let me tell you something, I am from the School Of Thank You Notes, and everyone is going to get one, even if it takes me the rest of the month to write them!!!!!!!!!!

                                 From a hard backed, first edition of "The Greenlanders," by Jane Smiley, to T-Shirts highlighting "Anabel," with the famous doll featured, "Friday The 13th," and my favorite, "Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman." the stash was enormous.  Not to mention a wholly unexpected gift from Uncle Ernest!  I am telling you, it made turning 60 a never to be forgotten experience.

                                 But wait.  Yesterday, the experience was celebrated!  Tomorrow is actually when it happens, and Birthday Party Barbie comes out of the closet once again.  Today, I relax, and contemplate this, my last ever, of my Fifties!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Who could have thought?

                                   But thank you all for yesterday, darlings--your presence and your presents!

                                   It was all fit for a Queen, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Queen For A Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The Colony Club has gone out of business long ago, girls, but standing in for it today is the Greenhouse Cafe, in Bay Ridge, where will be held the 60th birthday celebration of yours truly!!!!!!!!!!!!   I am told it is the Social Event Of The Season, and you can bet I will report back on all that went on, tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       If any of my girls want to drop by, please feel free to do so!  And that includes my beloved Cujo!  A big steak will be waiting!

                                        See you at the party, darlings! 2PM this afternoon!

And Happy Birthday, Too, To Martha Plimpton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Martha Pimpton may never have done :"HAIR," or sang "Frank Mills," but that her mother, Shelley Plimpton, did both--originating it, in fact!!!!!!!--forever links her to that show!  But Martha, as we have known for years, is  more than just a "HAIR" baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            She was a fabulous parody of a White Trash mom on "Raising Hope."  She did a spirited Helena at the Delacorte, in "A Midsummer Night's Dream;" the last time I saw her on stage.  Currently, she is playing the daughter in the ongoing revival of Edward Albee's "A Delicate Balance," and, while I haven't seen it yet, the word on the street is she is fantastic!

                            She stopped the show, with "Zip!" in the last revival of "Pal Joey!"

                            There is just no limit to what Martha can do!

                            Today, Martha turns 44, and the girls and I wish her a Happy Birthday!

                             Rock on, Martha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Birthday For Donna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       Today is Donna McKechnie's birthday, and the Raving Queen wants to wisher her a happy one, from me, and all my girls!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Donna's legend is consolidated, because no one, before or since, has ever danced like her, and no one ever will.  It may be 39 years--can you believe it???--since she first danced Cassie in "A Chorus Line," but  I am telling you, Donna could step out on stage tonight, and do it, at a moment's notice!

                         So, happy birthday, Donna!  "The Music And The Mirror" will always be yours!

                         And, in color, for a change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2014

Look Into The Face Of A Homophobe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 He looks the part, doesn't he, girls?  Cold eyes, trashy look, all the classic features of the kind of scum that would attack a gay man.  Which is exactly what happened to an unidentified gay man in Victoriaville, California!

                                    I know, dolls, I know!  I fervently wish Life could be all about The Colony Club and "The Umbrellas Of Cherbourg," but sometimes it just isn't.  It also amazes me how these things happen in what I would think would be more forward looking places.  Gay attacks have happened in Greenwich Village in New York--a place many might say is the Gay Capital Of The World--and, while Victoriaville might not be San Francisco or L.A., I always thought California was more forward thinking than most of the rest of the country.

                                   Just goes to show!

                                   Here's the story--It seems the four men involved--the victim, a 17-year-old boy, (also unidentified, because he is a minor) Robert Fraire, aged 22, and the guy pictured, Ethan Walker, 23, all worked at the mall, and were all friends.  At first.  By the way, Fraire and the 17-year-old have been apprehended.  Walker is still out there, and I hope they nail him good!  And I have some ideas, which I will share!

                                   But back to the story.  Like I said, at first, everyone was friends.  But when Walker found out the unidentified man, who is 34 years old, was gay, well, he just freaked!  He got his two cohorts, and lured the victim  to a drainage wash near Mall Boulevard by Petaluma Road, where they beat him with a vodka bottle, wooden boards, stabbed him in the leg, leaving him alive, but having to go to a hospital, where he was treated for a concussion, among other things.  All during the attack, they were yelling anti-gay slurs.

                                   My heart goes out to the victim.  And I can understand his hesitancy in not coming forward with his identity.  But, hon, if you don't, these scum will do things like this again.  The more gays who come out and confront their attackers and criticize a society that, for all intents and purposes, condones this, the less it will come to be condoned.  And the better you will feel!   Oh, my God, I am starting to sound like Olivia Benson!

                                   However I feel, I do respect the victim's decision.  It is his call.

                                   But I have no respect for his attackers, and especially for the ringleader, Ethan Walker.  Look at you, bitch!  You are nothing but a piece of trash scum.  You were probably raised by hypocritical parents who thought, and still do, that church is everything.  Your mother was probably a waitress, and your father a garage mechanic--a grease monkey--who would come home, and, in between gulps of beer and sports shows on television, beat his wife and kids.  Look at you! Twenty three years old, probably a dropout, druggie, robber, and now gay basher!  Working in  a mall!  Oh yeah, a real success path!  Your parents sure messed up with you!  And then you messed up more, yourself.

                                   You're going to find out what it's like.  Because, when you eventually get put in prison, you will be passed among  the populace while they play Slide The Salami, deciding which one of them will have you for his bitch!!!!!!!!!!  That's right!

                                     If I got you into an interrogation room, I would make you crack.  I would put you in front of a DVD player and screen, endlessly running BARBRA in "Funny Girl"--with me beside the screen, acting out every bit of it, as only a gay man can!

                                       Oh, yeah, Ethan Walker, you're a REAL man!  I hope when you get to Hell you get the flamboyant Devil from the K. Gordon Murray Christmas movie of 1959, "Santa Claus!"  Wait till he gets his hands on you!

                                       Confront, people!  Until you do, these attacks won't stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Could Be The Best, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 It is too early, girls, for me to declare outright what is the Book Of The Year, but let me tell you, right now, that "Lovers At The Chameleon Club, Paris 1932" by Francine Prose could very well prove to be the Book Of The Year.  Stay tuned for the final decision!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  When this first appeared on the scene, I thought it was a work of non-fiction, so I really was not interested,  But, as word of mouth spread, not only did I grasp it was a novel, but it might be worth reading, especially as I had never read any of Prose's work.

                                      Even when I picked it up, finally, to read it, my expectations were not exactly soaring.  But then soaring expectations can often be counterproductive, as witness Donna Tartt and "The Goldfinch," last year!

                                       So, I began, reading, and oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Sweep yourselves away, girls, to the romantic decadence of 1930s Paris, where sexuality is out in the open, especially at certain places, as Miss Prose creates an atmosphere so intense you can smell the smoke, cheap booze, urine, that emanate from within the club. I mean, with this, who the hell needs "Fifty Shades Of Grey????????????"  My favorite thing was her recreation of the pastiche musical numbers done there; they are so detailed I could see, in my mind, the colors and staging.  I could almost hear the songs.

                                         But not all is gaiety.  Written in an epistolary style from several texts by characters who were all there, during the same period of time, and one biographer, who turns out, allegedly, to be a character's niece, a picture is also given of when Paris turned dark as the Germans infiltrated it, and the Holocaust got underway.  And how one individual, Lou Villars, was transformed from a loyal French citizen into a Nazi monster of torture.

                                        The writing is swift and breathtaking; this is a real page turner, with plenty of substance to back it up!  You have simply got to read it, lambs!  It is the best thing I have read all year, but not till The New York Times publishes their Ten Best For 2014, will I rule on this book.  I still have several more to get to.

                                           But "Lovers At The Chameleon Club, Paris, 1932" is a strong contender.  Perfect reading in between sips of wine, and viewings of "Gigi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Thursday, November 13, 2014

Happy Birthday, Sammy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Sammy, by accident of birth, always begins Musical Theatre Week!  So, here we are once again, honoring the TONY Winner, whose performance for certainly a turning point for me, both in terms of art and my sexual realization.

                               When I look at the footage of the Original Cast members, I cannot help notice that, even with stalwarts like Tommy Walsh and Wayne Cilento, what a marvelously fluid dancer Sammy was.  If he were still in New York, and could do anything for me, in terms of dance, I would trust him with transforming my ineptitude. Even if it only results in losing pounds.  That is good, too.

                               So, here is to 66-I can't believe it!!!!!!!!--years, Sammy!!!!!!!!!!  We've both come a long way from Jersey!

                                It almost seems I post this every year, but why not? It gives those who were not there in 1975, a chance to observe Sammy's brilliance.  Here he is, doing what he did best, unmatched by anyone since!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!