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The image was always black and white, then. The camera faded in on a group of elderly folk seated at a bench, or walking slowly through the bucolic atmosphere of a town park. A gentle, soothing male voice would pipe in, after a few seconds...."Regularity....Were you born that way?...Some people think regularity means daily regularity." But doctors say what's normal is what's normal for you?
When I was very young, how could I have ever known all this was talk about taking a shit? I mean, come on!!!!!!!!!!! I was so naive I thought regularity/irregularity was some kind of condition limited exclusively to old people! What the hell did I know?
Even the word "laxative" was introduced in one of the Ex-Lax commercials, all it meant to me was they were chocolate, which I loved. My father must have had some issues, because I recall, when small, sneaking into the medicine chest, and breaking off a piece of Ex-Lax, thinking it was chocolate candy. Fortunately, my mother caught me, and stopped me in time. But back then, Ex-Lax, or Helen Elliot!!!!!!!!! What was the difference?????????????//
Well, girls, that was then, this is now!!!!!!!!!! Today they talk about constipation, menstrual flow, to the point where they should redo some of these commercials and say, "Have you taken a dump today??????? No??????? Oh, shit!!!!!!!!!!!" Maybe even have Mr. Hankey make a special cameo appearance. At least during Christmas time!!!!!!!! All that Holiday feasting, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, honestly, where is the balance between delicacy and indelicacy?????? Why can't there be a meeting ground of the two, so that matters like these would be comprehensible to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like another product of that day said, "Everyone needs help, now and then!!!!!!!!!!"
2 comments:
And remember to see a doctor for an erection lasting more than 4 hours!
Can you imagine? Indeed!
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