Friday, August 31, 2007

Girls. My Girdle Is Killing Me!!!!!

And I am telling you I cannot wait to get home and out of it, as well as my heels, nylons and panties. Why we girls have to dress so much is beyond me; it's not like I am scoring any success points in the world of finance and romance so what the hell gives>

What I am in the mood for is for some certifiable trash, which is why my desperation is driving me to seek out the reamake of "Halloween," which is an insult to the 1978 masterpiece. Maybe more will be revealed about Michael being a murderer of bitch sluts like his sister Judith; he had the right idea, only he was caught!!!!!

Sweeties, do I feel like Miss Bitch! So I am going to tear the town up tonight with guacamole and some Margarittas. On Monday, which is Labor Day, it will be a picnic mornign without a warning and I will feel like Verna Felton as Mrs. Potts when a man walks into her life. And after what I went through three weeks ago nothiing is walking into mine.

But, doll faces, I love you all, so go home get out of those girdles and curl up with a drink and some "My Little Margie DVDs!!!!!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Girls, It's Not Easy Trying To Be Donna McKechnie!

Girls, I am telling you my body is killing me!!!! Yesterday after my Yoga I decided it was time to do some running prior to joining the Front Runners group. This is part of my inner desire to be Donna McKechnie and dance the Cassie number ("The Music and The Mirror") in the red with the skirt, which darling I plan to look so fabulous in. So yesterday I went running. I got two blocks and then I had to switch to walking, and I am still sore and aching today. So guess who is not ready for running??? Let alone a ballet class in Manhattan, maybe in Queens at Woodside Ballet Academy where my not looking like Donna McKechnie in tights won't matter so much.

Sweeties, what am I supposed to do, wear a girdle???? Every time I see "A Chorus Line " some part of me is up there doing it, and damn it I want to do it. Or at least a little of it. But what kind of shape am I in??? Girls, I need to get a new dress or something. I am telling you, what menopause does to you should not happen to anyone. And I am a man so it only makes me more of a bitch! But I love it!! We all love it!!!! And I love you all girls!!!!!

"And I Can........Dance!"

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Girls, I've Got To Dance

Let's face it, girls, those of us of a certain age; ie, who saw the original cast of "A Chorus Line" in 1975, have never gotten over our inner desire to be Donna McKechnie!!!! And now that ACL is back on Broadway and as brilliant as ever, that desire is more manifest. But tie those toe shoes and tights and head for the nearest ballet class and barre. We might not be able to dance but it never hurts to be too limber!!!! Just like Donna! After 12-20 minutes of Yoga each morning I sure feel like Donna and am ready to go out and face the world!!!!!!

Move those legs, girls! Strengthen that supporting leg! Turn and pose, darlings! We are going to be SOOOOOO fabulous in our elder ages as we dance the Cassie number in red! Those mirrors will whiz right by. I can't wait to watch myself girls, like alone perform!

The dance.....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Am So Superior

You know, I happen to be rereading Meyer Levin's "Compulsion" and while I do not advocate murder, I can identify with the Leopold-Loeb notion of feeling superior to all others. This was set in motion by my parents, with whom I lived on the affluent north side of Highland Park, New Jersey. However, due to a life altering error on their part they forced me to go not to Hamilton on same side where the rich and smart kids like me went, but Irving on the wrong side of the tracks, where kids from Goat Alley, like Linda Johnson, whose mother was a common waitress for God's sake! and Linda Wilson, who was the garbageman's daughter and who did not get fed enough so she thew up in class, and Joan Marcik whose mother dressed her in the same clothes every day went. And THIS was my childhood! It made me know who and what I was superior to , girls, and turned me into the bitch I am today!!!!!!! When I reached seventh grade in the Middle School where I was with my academically able contemporaries I shed these bozos as fast as you please, and I have not looked back since! Or if I do I look back in anger!

I should have gone to private school and Ivy League to have the life I should have had. So I have no choice, girls, but to declare my brilliance and snobbishness to the world, which I am damn proud of!!!!! I never ate at the cheap White Rose in my life; that was where the town trash went, as my parents said. And I would not be seen at Tastee Sub, like it was some kind of fucking Jersey experience you were supposed to have. You can take all the experience in Jersey and shove it up your royal twats, girls!

Aren't I a bitch! I love it!!! And you do too!

Love you all, girls!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Girls. You Won't Believe What I Have Been Through

I am telling you, between my father's stent, my nieces' pregnancy and my sister's problems with her chronically ill husband, it is all I can do to keep from getting dishpan hands. At least at last night's outdoor presentation of "Spartacus," there was some fetching eye candy although the hems on the men's togas should have been raised far above the knees. My friend Justin was adorable in the role of Crixus; too bad he is straight because I would love to get just with Justin!!!! Then there was "Hairspray" wherein John Travolta took all the fun out of a musical role and Chrisopher Walken showed he should do more musically. I finally got a hair appt. but I had to forego David--wah--in favor of Hernandez, or whatever his name was. Not to worry; I look fabulous as usual. Girls girls girls I can't keep up with my life I am just going to have to blog every day--parties, death anniversaries and "The Seventh Victim" tonight all bode for a very interesting August. Now if I can just find a nice Jewish husband so I can get my Tudor house in Great Neck. I stil need therapy, obviously! But I am back, and love you all!!!!