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Monday, December 31, 2018

And So We Surge Forward.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                 Like the Von Trapps fleeing the Nazis, over Maria's beloved mountain, we bid farewell to 2018--it had some rough spots like my father's passing, and one of David's friends and mine--but we have emerged  at the other end, ready to go on.  Thanks to the inspiration we get each year, from our Perennial Person Of The Year, Sister Camille D'Arienzo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  This chapter is now written.  Now comes the next.

                                   Which leaves you, my readers.  It has been a pleasure sharing this year with you, and I look forward to sharing fun and mayhem during 2019.  No sad songs this coming year.  We have had enough the last two.

                                      So, I will see you next year, darlings. Wishing you all the best, and may 2019 be that for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Here is that farewell movie moment, live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Until next year, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here Are Some Of My Hopes For 2019!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




                        1.  "The Wizard Of Oz" and "Gone With The Wind--"  Both of these films turn 80 in 2019, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!  80!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, it is highly imperative we get theatrical screenings of both this year.  I am already on target for 'Oz," but hope for "Gone With The Wind!  And don't give me crap about loving the Civil War classic.  It is crucial for SOME of us girls to make periodic visits to Tara!!!!!!!!!!
             


 
2. The Return Of Amy Sedaris On February 19-- How we have missed our beloved Amy!  No Christmas show; how sad!  But Amy is coming back, and we cannot wait!!!!!!!!  Patty Hogg, Nutmeg, and The Lady In The Wood, and Esther!!!!!!!!!  Will they all get along?  We shall see!
3,Celia Keenan-Bolger, in "To Kill A Mockingbird--"   We are all set for this one on April 27.  I cannot wait to see what Celia does to break our hearts!!!!!!!!!  Lucky they are to have Celia--if not, I wouldn't be going!!!!!!!!!!!!
4.Books--What will be the big
 literary event of 2019???????? Will there be any???????????
5.
                                  Broadway--after "Carousel," is there any hope for it?  Celia, Jessie, Lindsay, what is in store for us all this year?  Don't forget Roundabout's 'Merrily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

                                  6.
Same story, more shit!  I don't hold much hope here.  Any gems we get are bonus!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7.  But Most Of All--Another year with my loving David Spegal, who gives so much to me, every day of the year is a fun journey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And Baby Gojira too, who enriches us all!!!!!!!

Bitch (Or Should I Say Bitches?) Of The Year....Leslie Stifelman, Walter Bobbie, and David Hyslop!!!!!!!!!!!!



                          Clearly, one of the year's most tragic events, especially in the theatrical community, was the suicide death of "Chicago:" understudy Jeff Loeffelholz.  Though a strain of it ran in his family, it was until the inhuman collision with him and the three bitches pictured above triggered him toward that tragic decision.

                            Who knew the theater could be as cruel as corporate America?

                              Well, look what happened--

                                Jeff is dead.  His family mourns for life.

                                Leslie has been deservedly booted from the show!  Broadway will never see her again, and good riddance!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Walter looks like the slum lord he is.  He'll never do another show, and he will never work with me, because I will intimidate him!!!!!!!!!!!!  As one bitch to another, darlings!!!!!!!!!

                                    Regarding David Hyslop--man, you must be ugly now, because this is some old picture.  I'd like to stage manage you right out the door, and I hope you get the boot you so rightfully deserve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Fuck all you bitches for what you did to Jeff!   Or would to anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I don't know about naming the Ambassador Theatre for Jeff!!!!!!!!!  Yes, the plaque, and scholarship, but it was still, after all, one role!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       But these bitches are through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        And deservedly so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Sharp Objects......" Easily The Best Television Event Of The Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                  It is also, as far as I am concerned, the best of Gillian Flynn's books, so I am happy it was done so well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   That cast....that house.....that cinematography....the sultry atmosphere of that Southern Gothic town so thick its mists came pouring out of the television screen.

                                     It will be long before TV showcases anything this good again.

                                     Without question, the year's best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most Promising Actress Of The Year.....Eliza Scanlen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                           The role of Amma Crellin is written as a showcase for an actress.  Hell, I wish I could have been seen for it; I would have gotten on my roller skates.

                             Eliza Scanlen fit both sides of Amma perfectly.  Anyone who could hold her own with the likes of Amy Adams, and Patricia Clarkson,  and walk off with every scene they were not in, is someone to keep an eye on.

                              And we will, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Give this girl an Emmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Like Lucas, she has awards coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most Promising Actor Of The Year.....Lucas Hedges!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                              And what a fine young man, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Need a young actor who can actually act?  Get Lucas Hedges, or, better, get his agent, because a lot of folks out there want him for their projects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 I knew Lucas was promising from the moment I saw him play Richie in "The Slap," back in 2105.  He blew me away in "Manchester By The Sea," and has stolen every film he has been in since.  "Boy Erased" he carries on his steady shoulders, with much help from all involved.  Best Nicole Kidman performance I have seen in years.

                                    Lucas deserves something for his gifts.  An Oscar, maybe?????????????

                                    At least a nomination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Film Of The Year????????????? Hell, I Cannot Do That, Anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                              I mean, I haven't even seen "Roma," yet.  But these two films, thanks to the lead performances of Melissa McCarthy in one, and Lucas Hedges in the other, made them my favorites of the year.

                               Each had solid direction, top work from the supporting players, and told their stories, clearly, objectively, and compellingly.  I would consider seeing each again, and there are not that many films made these days that I would say that, about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Don't miss these dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 And speaking of Lucas Hedges...………………..

But This Book Was My Favorite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                             The tale of Kya, the Marsh Girl, combined with suspense and the best Southern Gothic atmosphere this side of Carson McCullers, made this my favorite book.  It reads entertainingly, and has that gorgeous, poetic lyricism I crave in Southern fiction.

                                                 Y'all read this now, ya hear?????????????????????????

This Was The Book Of The Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                               Who would have thought a novel combining minor league football, and the Mob would make my Book Of The Year choice.  Though these topics really do not interest me, De La Pava's novel is so compelling in its sweep, scope and sense of family that it had me glued to my chair.   I picked it up with trepidation; I finished it as a fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Don't miss this one, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On The Other Hand, Broadway's Biggest Disappointment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                     That thing, on the left, who looks like she is special needs, Lauren Ambrose, had no business being on the stage during "My Fair Lady," and it showed.  Squawking like a wounded bird, but compensated by everyone else on the state, most especially Harry Haddon Patton, as Higgins, who walked off with the show.  Diana Rigg knew the score with Lauren; she left the show before her time was up!  She knows the score!

                                       But Lauren certainly didn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       As Helen Lawson said, "The song goes--and the kid with it!"

                                       You'll never do another Broadway musical, Lauren!  You're through!!!!!!!!!!

Theatrical Highlight Of The Year--"Carousel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                                           Without question, darlings, this was Broadway at its best. A heavenly sent score sung by the most heavenly assembled cast out there one could get for this.  It brings tears to my eyes, just thinking about it.  The saddest thing was its closing, and the crashing demise, near the end of the run of Amar Ramasar's dancing career.  Such promise--much more than a dance studio within some Jersey strip mall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             It was the "Carousel" of a lifetime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time To Wrap Things Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                           Ah, girls, the writer's life!  The one problem with it is there is not enough time to get it all down, and still have a life.

                                             I mean, here we are at not only the final day of the month, but of the year!  I have to cover December highlights, the year's highlights, and hope for the new!  How will I do it, girls.  I don't know, but I will try my best.

                                              On the December front, our beloved Baayork Lee turned 72, we saw "Celebrity Autobiography On Broadway," we saw the lights in Dyker Heights, we had our annual holiday gathering with friends at the Bridgeview Diner--it was a social whirl, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                That is it for this post now comes the year's highlights and new hopes!


Sunday, December 30, 2018

Oh, My God!!!!!!!!!!!! For A Good Attack Of Catholic Anxiety, See "The Bells Of St. Mary's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                                   Few filmmakers could evoke tears as skillfully as Leo McCarey.  His 1937 drama about the elderly, "Make Way For Tomorrow" is so devastating I could not watch it a second time.

                                    Now, I have been watching "The Bells Of St. Mary's" since I was a child, when a lot of what is actually in this film--and amazingly so--went over my head. Which, I am sure, is why my parents allowed me to watch it.  The other day, it kept coming up on my You Tube account, as if daring me to watch it.  So I did.  The last ten minutes of the film are especially anxiety inducing, so let's start with that.
The Climactic Stairs--It is not the stairs that gets one weeping, but what happens here.  This is where Ingrid Bergman, as the tubercular nun, Sister Mary Benedict, in pain and suffering, lugs a suitcase down the stairs, alone while the underscored choir on the soundtrack sings the title song.  This is SO Catholic, darlings!!!!!!!  Pain and suffering offered up to the Lord, and hearing gorgeous music in one's head, this is what it is all about.  If you were raised Catholic, you will definitely "get it."
The Reformation Of The Prostitute Mother--It took me until I was in college to understand that Mary Gallagher, played by Martha Sleeper, was a prostitute.  I was amazed they could get this into the film, though the word is never mentioned.  Mary's back story is she ran away from home at 16--bad girl!!!---and married a young man named Joe Gallagher, who was a band musician.  They had a little girl, whom they named Patsy.  But Joe gets a travelling gig, and never returns, walking out on both she and the child,  With no skills or education, she resorts to prostitution.  If you watch all of Martha's scenes carefully, it is apparent, as is the scene where Joan Carroll, as Patsy, sees a man coming out of her mother's apartment, and hides in embarrassment, thinking he is one of her "customers," but not knowing it is her biological father, played by William Gargan.    But the last scene, when the Gallaghers are reunited, and watch Patsy walk down the eighth grade graduation aisle--  Oh, my God!  Get out the hankies and weep for the redemption of all thought to be unworthy Catholics.  Which, by the way, is what Catholic anxiety is--the feeling that, short of being a saint, one is not good enough.  Did this film trigger me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, My God!  The Great Joan Carroll--I knew Joan for this role years before I saw her as Agnes Smith in "Meet Me In St. Louis."  Comparing the two films, one can see how much Joan is maturing in the 1945 film, from the year before. This was, unfortunately, her last acting role: she went on to work behind the camera in adulthood, dying at the age of 85 on November 10. 2016.  Patsy Gallagher, the role she plays here, is a troubled girl.  Her mother, Mary senses it, and has her placed in St. Mary's as a boarder, because she does not want her daughter to know the truth--that to support them both, she has become a prostitute.  Patsy clearly does sense this, and combined with her lack of family stability, feeling unloved and unwanted, finds St. Mary's such a refuge from the world, she deliberately fails her final examinations, so she can remain longer at the school.  She is found out, and graduates, and everyone cries for Patsy, now happy, who has seemingly triumphed over Catholic anxiety.  It is SO Forties and Catholic, and, girls, wipe those tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ingrid Bergman and Bing Crosby--Both won Oscars in 1944--Bergman for "Gaslight," and Crosby for "Going My Way."  The success of that film led to this one, intended as a sequel to "Going My Way," but which I think is the better film.  When Ingrid writhes in bed with tuberculosis, one cries for her enduring Catholic suffering.  She is an inspiration for us to look good when we are at our worst.  Oh, my God, the moral lessons this film teaches--like forgiveness, hopeful redemption, and triumph over Catholic anxiety which one must go through to reach beyond. Bergman received the New York Film Critics Award as Best Actress, for this performance, helped also by her fine work in Alfred Hitchcock and David O. Selznick's "Spellbound."  Bergman was loaned to "The Bells Of St. Mary's," by Selznick, who, as with Jennifer Jones in "The Song Of Bernadette," made sure this was duly noted on both films' opening credits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is Bing Crosby singing the film's title song!  Listen and weep, all ye Catholics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Lily Voigt Is Really The Worst Bitch In "Valentine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

               
                                                   "Jeremy Melton: Dance with me, Lily?
                                                     Lily Voigt: Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!"
                                                     --opening scene of "Valentine" (2001)
                             

                                           Before getting into Lily, darlings, let me say that "Valentine" really is a terrific tale of bullying, cruelty, and the consequences thereof.  Though the film touches upon it, for real satisfaction I suggest you read the Tom Savage novel, on which it is based.   The peer group is upped to college, the back story of the killer is horrifying, and the prank is worse than what is done in the film.

                                             But not if one is a sixth grader.  Like these kids are, and, like we all have been.  Resident geek Jeremy Melton, (all the names are changed, too!) played by a young Joel Palmer, bravely enters the arena of adolescence, via his first school dance. All the girls he asks reject him outright. Only Kate Davies lets him down easy with, at least, the promise of "Maybe later, Jeremy."  I get it.  I was Jeremy myself back then. A response like Kate's would be heaven to those of us like this, even if it does not happen.  My favorite response is Paige Prescott, who responds with, "I'd rather be boiled alive!"  Thirteen years later, when she morphs into Denise Richards, she actually gets her wish.  What goes around, comes around, I always say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Now, on first sight, the worst bitch might be Dorothy Wheeler, who precipitates Jeremy's tragedy.  She is fat and pudgy, the worse thing a girl that age wants to be, and she is, like Jeremy a wallflower.  Nevertheless, she agrees to dance with Jeremy, and all goes well until they are caught making out under the bleachers by a group of bigger sized male bullies.  Even though they still call Dorothy "Buffalo," she goes along with their notion that she was attacked by Jeremy, after which he is grabbed, pantsed, and mortified before the entire dance. Dorothy's conflicting look on her face suggests she knows she is wrong, but, as a kid, what can she do?  When she grows up, she admits the truth to her friends, saying what she did got Jeremy sent to a reform school.  Even the mature Paige admits, "We were so horrible to that kid."

                                                Right, except, as stories like this prove, you should have been right at the time, because Jeremy has not forgotten, and is out to get those who humiliated him.

                                                  So, you may well ask, with all this, why is Lily the worst bitch?

                                                   Darlings, look how she dresses!!!!!!!!  White beads, and some ersatz 1940's hooker outfit?  If I had been Jeremy I would have rejected her; who dresses like this, anyway?  And in sixth grade?  Lily was just as out of the league as Jeremy was, which is why she is the worst.  She deserved to be dissed, but wasn't, because she had acolytes to protect her.  And she really is the most unattractive of the four--at this age.  Dorothy, though chubby, has a prettiness one guesses will emerge with age.

                                                     Lily, at this age, has nothing.  Someone should have told her, if you are going to be a bitch, you ought to have some asserts enabling you to have something to be bitchy about.  Lily does not realize what a loser she is.

                                                      Well, someone just did tell her.  I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Makes Book No. 102!!!!!!!!!!! Will I Clock In There? Or, Will I Make It To 103???????????????


                                          Only time will tell, dolls.  While I would like to make it to 103--higher is always better--I would not mind 102, as that was the precise age of my father, upon his passing, this past February 12.

                                           But what about "Spoonbenders?"  I have had my eye on this book all year, and, now it is in paperback, I sat down and read it.  One reviewer compared it to Michael Chabon, and I can see why.

                                            It is also a family saga.  Specifically, the Telemachuses, a Greek collection of prestidigitators, (although their mother, Maureen's, maiden name was McKinnon) who, at one point, were all the rage, with media fame, until they were shamed on "The Mike Douglas Show."  The novel goes back and forth between that time and the present, revealing who was the most powerful, the tragic death of Maureen, and a secret involving the family and the government that continues to plague them up to the present.

                                              Each chapter is told from the perspective of a specific character; Irene was my favorite.  Though under 500 pages, the novel has a compelling family sweep that offers insight into not only this family, but where the nation was during said specific times.

                                               It has just a sprinkling--just THAT--of Salinger, in that the Telemachuses briefly reminded me of the Glass family, but minus the childish precocity.

                                                 Darryl Gregory is unknown to me, but his ability to steer this character and narrative driven story shows great promise, and I will be curious to see what he follows this up with.

                                                   Whether it is your first book of the new year, or the last of this old, "Spoonbenders" is recommended reading.

                                                      As for me, I will keep plugging until the ball drops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 27, 2018

And, Oh, What Heights We Hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                               Darlings, and especially Theater Queens, if you want to see design, if you want to step into a real life, Technicolored, MGM Vincente Minnelli fantasy, you have got visit Dyker Heights in Brooklyn, during the holidays, because, come this time of year, THIS is the place to be.

                                  The evening started out as a celebratory one, at Spumoni Gardens, where David and I learned that, our neighbors, Jennifer and Dan, who took us, thanks to Dan's car, are engaged to be married!  Now, I have to plan a wedding!  Get me Sally Hershberger!  Get me Sylvia Weinstock, on the phone, at once!  Get me ANNA!  Anna Wintour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    But, honestly, you have not seen these houses until they have been seen up close.  David was worried all these lights would trigger my epilepsy, which they did not, thanks to my meds, while I feared he would develop motion sickness, which he did.

As for me, darlings, they upped the ante for my taste in d├ęcor a la flambe!!!!!!!!  I mean, look at this dazzling array of color!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am telling you, it was like "Lucy In The Sky, With Diamonds!"  Who needs drugs?  Who needs LSD?  Come over to Dyker Heights, and, I guarantee, you will get high!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The big area is around 84th Street and 12th Avenue, which must be a very wealthy section, because look at the size of these houses.  I love huge houses, so I must come back here during the Spring, just to assess the properties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had heard about Dyker Heights, for year, and it is all true!  Bus tours, walking tours, people selling hot food and cocoa, it is all part of the attraction now.  

From a simple house decorating contest between neighbors, to THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

As Cindy Adams once said, kiddies, "Only in New York, only in New York!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This Gaggle Of Bitches Still Fit The Christmas Theme! And They Are Fresh White Trash, From Guyton, Georgia!!!!!!!!!!


                                  Hard to believe this is the last week of the year, darlings, so really the last official Bitch Of The Week column of 2018.  Except, in just about four days, when I wrap up the year, I will be naming the Bitch Of The Year.  And you do not want to miss that, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     The lead guy in all this is Elwyn Crocker.  Trash personified, his claim to employment is he was a department Santa at Walmart in Rincon.  Parents let kids sit on HIS lap?  With that mug?  You have GOT to be kidding!

                                         And get this--he is a Christmas Baby, turning 50, on Decembeer 25.  No holy night for him, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       The two pieces of female trash are Candice Crocker, 33, the wife and stepmother of his kids,  The other fat slob is her mother, Kim Wright, 50.  A boyfriend of hers, Anthony Prater, 55, is said to be involved.

                                          What they are involved in is childhood cruelty, abuse, murder, and the concealment of the bodies of Elwyn Crocker, Jr. 14, who vanished two years ago, and a daughter, Mary, 14, when she was last seen, this past October.

                                             Police were tipped off, and the yard was dug up, to reveal the bodies.

                                              A third child, who was special needs, was found alive in the house.

                                              The older children were tortured by overwork; neighbors said the boy's hands were so red from being out in the cold, he could barely work.  Others saw Mary always working in the yard.

                                                 Meanwhile, the real children's mother cannot be found, because she is homeless.  She probably had the sense to flee this monster, knowing what he is, but to abandon the children?  Inexcusable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Every adult involved in this case should be given prison time--LWOP, as far as I am concerned--and then collared and beaten by fellow inmates appalled by child killers!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Yep, Georgia is still producing trash.  And the holidays are still producing bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Just wait till you see Bitch Of The Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Tell Me, Girls, Just What The Hell Is Figgy Pudding?????????????????????????


                                  During the carol, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas," this desert is referenced, with the repeating phrase, "We won't go, until we get some."  I have never understood all the fuss!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Figgy pudding, to me, bears a strong resemblance to fruit cake.  As I recall the fruit cakes of my Christmas youth, not only did I not like them, I could not eat one, if I wanted to.
Picking one up felt like lifting a cinder block, as did cutting into a piece.  And biting into one was liable to cause tooth loss, being so hard!!!!!!!!

                                   But there was a fruit cake I sampled, at my local Brooklyn Market, that was as moist and yummy as anything I could have wished for.  I would go back and buy it in a second, and I very well may, today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Alas, I am not really culinary.  So someone, please explain, just what the hell is figgy pudding???????????????????

                                       Does anyone make it, anymore?????????????????

What Is Miss Schulman Trying To Prove? That Women Can Be As Sexist As Men?????????????


                                    "Come With Me" promises the reader a journey into exploring the past lives of individuals, and how they might have turned out differently, had other choices been made.  Hey, who, at one time or another, does not think about that?  It was, after all the foundation of Sondheim's musical, "Follies."

                                        The problem with this book, is while the premise is fascinating, and yields some dazzling moments, it is so pumped with testosterone that most of its characters are victims, dickheads, and sluts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Amy Reed, the heroine, is a victim.  She lives with Dan Hellinger, a loser ex jock, who cannot find a job, and so sits around, yearning for pussy.  Which he finally gets when he blows all the family has, money wise, by going to Japan with some pretentious Millennial Miss, who gives him what he wants, and leaves him panting for more.  Clearly, he needs some estrogen shots.

                                           Her son Jack, is no better.  There are so many overt references to the white male's lack of personal hygiene, that I, who take very good care of myself, in that area, was offended. The men here are all pigs, whose feet stink, who don't take showers, and who don't care about it.  Especially Donny, the son of Amy's friend, Lauren, who thinks he is Mark Zuckerberg, but is SO out of that league.  Meanwhile, Jack has a slut girlfriend, Lily, who sleeps in Jack's bed, with him, at his parents' house, with their permission. What kind of parenting is this?  And Lily's mother is a slut; the kind who tries to pick up men while showing houses as a realtor, causing her to vacate the house the next morning, minus her panties!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             The only clever moments are the uses of the multiverse theory, and its all too brief explorations, and the titular phrase being used by different people in different contexts.  One of those, of course, has to be sexual.  We are not talking genius, like Shirley Jackson, here!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Oh, and Amy is a victim.  She is in a loser marriage, she has a loser son, and she works with Millenial losers. Her twin boys are not much better.  Of course, Schulman makes her the only female in an all male houses, which ups her victimhood!!!!!  She was in an East Village relationship, when young, with a loser who exploited her, in his idea of becoming an actor--an old NYC story, darlings!!!!!!!!!--and miscarries a daughter.  The last is not her fault, but everything else is.

                                                And, at the end, instead of fleeing all this, Amy goes back into the house, with loser Dan?  Have we forgotten Ibsen?  Or is Schulman arguing for the submission of all things female, as Donald Trump would have it??????????????????????

                                                 The book does not gain momentum till the last third, when a terrible tragedy I never saw coming, takes place.  I understand why it happened, but after the reader gets past this, the characters all revert back to the sex addled losers they are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Not, unlike, Miss Schulman, whose attempt to write something serious--and she was SO onto it--frustrates, when she reverts to self-righteous heterosexual crap!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Hey, Miss Schulman, maybe you should watch, where you leave YOUR panties, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Let Us Not Forget What Christmas REALLY Is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                As the slogan used to go, "Christmas Is Christ's Birthday."  It still is, darlings, but, as our culture advances, it seems this idea gets tossed more and more to the wayside.

                                  This is when we celebrate the Miracle Of The Baby Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Now, let me tell you, the Baby Jesus was a miracle, and cute, but he managed to give his parents trouble.  When he hit puberty, he ran off to the learned men in the Temple.  I wonder how his parents handled that.  How could they ground him?  To paraphrase Andrew Lloyd Webber, there was no mass communication, back then.

                                    And wearing his hair long, like some kind of Nazarene hippie?  You don't see Joseph, with his hair long; but then, he is older.

                                     Mary was quite a party gal. It took Mary, at the Marriage Feast Of Cana, to realize what it took to get this party going was some good wine.   So, she had Jesus, who was no partygoer, create some.  Coming from Mary's direction, I bet it was high end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       So, remember that Christmas is a natal day, and really, the biggest birthday celebration of them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Happy Birthday, Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Go Back To A 1950's Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                  Just like those of my childhood, when everyone came to the tree, fully dressed and coiffed.  "Don, we now our gay apparel?"  You better believe it, the most fabulous apparel we had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Time to bring back the 50's innocence of Christmas, when girls like us got baubles, and time payments were a thing of the future!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Whatever era you celebrate in Christmas, dears, have fun doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Merry Christmas, Everyone!," From Baby Gojira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                  Here is our lovable reptile, Baby Gojira, minus his dazzling Christmas outfit, putting the finishing touches on the tree, to wish all on here a very merry Christmas.

                                    Baby Gojira, and all of us, were so happy to hear a special Christmas message from Sister Camille D'Arienzo, and we, in turn, sent best wishes to she and all the sisters at their convent house.

                                   Baby Gojira is just the cutest.  He wanted to be first to bid Christmas wishes.

                                   So. Merry Christmas, from us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 24, 2018

"The Stockings Were Hung By The Chimney, With Care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                                All Christmas Eves should look like this, and be this Victorian.  In my head, this is my permanent image of Christmas Eve. Of course, I am the tall girl in the yellow, with that red sash, hair ribbons, and look at those carefully manicured curls!  You bet I worked on those all day, just to be ready for this fireplace moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 However you celebrate, darlings, have a happy holiday!

                                 I will join you tomorrow, for some special Christmas messages!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is How The Dutch Did It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                  This captivating illustration comes from an old childhood book, handed down to me by my older sister, called "Tales Told In Holland."  It was a collection of stories, published sometime in the Forties by The Book House For Children.

                                   One story recounted Dutch Christmas, which involved St. Nicholas, on the night of December 5, riding through the night on his horse, delivering gifts, both good and bad. Now, before you go and socially attack me, darlings, part of the legend, as written, was St. Nicholas was accompanied by his assistant, a little Moor, named Black Pete.  He was sort of a more benign version of Krampus, a reminder that children should be nice to the less fortunate, and if they were not, they would get dissatisfying gifts, often put there by Black Pete.

                                      Remember the time of the book's publication, and the legend.  I am just reporting, not making this up. And Black Pete did carry a wooden switch, which he would sometimes use on naughty children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Pretty and austere--that was how the Dutch did Christmas!

                                        It took America to theatricalize, and jazz it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cannot Believe It Has Been A Year, Since Heather Is Gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                      A year ago, today, darlings, Heather Menzies, aka Louisa Von Trapp in 1965's "The Sound Of Music," left this world, and it is only fitting she be remembered.  How many of us looked this pretty when we were Heather's (on the right) age?  And how many of us wanted to?
I know I did.  And look how stunning Angela Cartwright was this.  This is certainly my favorite picture of them both!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         As a tribute, David and I, early this Fall, went to a special screening of "The Sound Of Music," which served as a tribute both to Heather, and Charmian Carr, who passed the year before, in 2016.

                                           Watching the final shot of the film, as the Von  Trapps disappeared over the mountain, I cried, as I said goodbye to both Heather and Charmian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Both left this world too early.  But what an enriching legacy they left!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Go Back To The 1950's, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!! Here Is Something All Us Girls--And Boys-- Want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                 Ah, to be carried over the threshold in a dazzling wedding gown, and pink! I know how many of you out there wish just for that, so that is my Christmas wish to all of you!

                                  Things were just so much more colorful and romantic, then.  Of course, conformity ruled, but behind closed doors, the queens were flaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And here is another 50's tradition to bring back.  To be served an elegant breakfast, while dressed and coiffed, elegantly! Another Christmas wish for all, and by way of saying that, come 2019, I will return with my McCall's marriage talks!  I have not forgotten my darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pink is definitely the color of the day tomorrow!

Merry Christmas, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas Eve Ends The Horror With Christmage Horror Image #16--"Christmas Evil," From 1980!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                          How the hell did I ever miss this one, darlings???????????  A perfect horror for the Holidays.

                                           It starts out in 1947, with a little boy named Harry, and his brother Billy.  Harry, the younger, fervently wants to hang on to his belief in Santa Claus, which his brother has already shed.  Mother stages an elaborate Christmas fantasy for the boys, where she leaves out adult gourmet food for Santa, which he greedily partakes of.

                                             The boys are sent to bed.  But young Harry is awakened in the middle of the night, by lascivious laughter, coming from downstairs.  Now, get ready, girls, because this is REAL childhood trauma, and DISGUSTING.  Concealing himself on the stairs, Harry sees Santa, really his Daddy, by the fireplace, going down on Mommy!  With her behaving like a common prostitute!  Disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  This kid is traumatized.  I don't know if he turns out gay, but I do know he grows up to be an eccentric toymaker, who values, craft, rather than commercialism. One day, after ridiculed by workers and treated with cynicism and hypocrisy, Harry loses it, and goes on a killer rampage. Anyone is fair game, but he keeps a list of who are the good and naughty boys and girls, in town!!!!!!!!!!!   Aha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Sounds like riotous fun, darlings!  The perfect windup to Christmas horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Simply disgusting, girls!  Little Harry should have killed his parents, first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soon, It Will Be Christmas Eve, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                 Forget soon; darlings, it IS Christmas Eve, and all those goodies had better be carefully arranged under the tree, and those stockings hung.

                                  This will be a quiet one, for us.  I think we will watch the horror thriller, "Mrs. Claus."  I cannot wait to see who the killer is!  Bet the mother or a twin sister.

                                     Have a warm, magical Christmas Eve, darlings!  I will be with you to say a few words during the actual holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, December 23, 2018

The Sad End Of An Era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                                For the last eight years, Michael and Deidre Butler have been fighting the good fight, with Paws Truly, located at 7607 Third Avenue, in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.  It was more than a pet supply store, it was a place where animal lovers could congregate, especially as the store was the unofficial home of Seamus, the lovable Labradoodle, and Sparky, the parrot.  Each had their own fan base, and as many came to visit them as to purchase supplies.

                                                  I know, because I was one of them.

                                                   Seamus, the store's unofficial silent partner, was the most lovable and comforting presence, and the hero of the store.  His warmth was matched by both Michael and Deidre, and all, on more than one occasion, provided me with great comfort, just by being there.  As did Sparky.

                                                     Sadly, it was not high rent, but the Internet, which did  in Paws Truly.  It can never be replaced.  And Seamus and Sparky will be sadly missed, though, I expect, Seamus will make his annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day Parade, here in Bay Ridge.

                                                       Farewell, Paws Truly. You were a service in more ways than one to the community!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, Seamus, you will always be loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!