Saturday, July 31, 2010

Steve, Darling, You Have GOT To Choose Better Scripts!!!!!!!!!

The Steve we are talking about, girls, is Steve Carrell, one of our most talented, not to mention physically striking (even in panties) comic actors, who is capable of so much more than what he is given in "Dinner For Schmucks." The shcmucks who made it had no idea what to do with the material at hand. With the exception of a hilariously funny and extended dinner scene with a cast of characters that plays more like an outtake from David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive," to an exteneded monologue done at said dinner by Steve with the most beguiling props--so much so, girls, that it had me crying REAL tears!!!!!!--the movie is a mess! And Paul Rudd, please, your pretty face is not enough to do anything. Blow it out your ass, you untalented bitch!!!!!!!!!!

Now, about Steve, you need to get MERYL on the phone, because she would be the first to tell you--don't take crap, when you are so much better. Do you think MERYL would have taken this garbage??? MERYL????????? Or AMY???????????? Steve, you need to work with A-listers like MERYL and AMY, not peole like Kiernan the Goat!!! And let me tell you, the goat in "Horror" still outperforms the several goats featured on camera here.

In fact, Steve, AFTER you talk with MERYL, I am available to read scripts and advise you on them, because you obviously need guidance here, which my intellectuality would be happy to provide, whether you keep your pants on or show me your panties!!!!!!!!!

The issue is script, not panties!!!!!! Unless you do some good stuff, Steve, you are going to be in Shelley Long and David Caruso territory, and you are too good for that!!!!! So here is to better script choices for Steve Carrell!!!!!!!!!!!

Which is why you don't see me doing many films, darlings!!!!!!!! Most of what I get offered is crap. And when I get something I WANT to do--like "Juno" they tell me I am unsuited. But how can one argue abut the divine Ellen Page????

Make sure you choose wisely, girls, scripts or not!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, It's Time To Say Something About The Strand!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, girls, for those of us in the know who love it, the Strand is the book emporium in NYC just East of 5th Avenue on 12th Street. Several years back, the People Press did a seething expose on coroporate corruption at the Stand, citing such individuals as Eddie Sutton and Nancy Bass Weyden. Now, sweeties, no one loves an expose of corporate corruption more than moi, darling, BUT a recent visit to the Strand led me to realize there are always two sides to every story.

The People News story maintained that Nancy was your basic abusive careeer bitch, but without any subject knowledge, that she maquerades as an Anna Wintour type, without breadth of subject knowledge that Anna brings to her role, which is why we love her being a bitch.

Bur the other night I had to wonder if Nancy's reputaion might be justified--not because of her being a bitch, but because for the sake of the Strand she might NEED to be.

When I go to the Strand, darlings, it is in literary pursuit. What I was pursuing that night was "Breziger" in hardback, the third and hopefully final volume (though my sources tell me now) of the series started by Christopher Paoli (sp?) with
"Eragon." As usual when I am looking for something there, the Strand came through by housing the very volume I was looking for. But when I got downstairs to pay for it--oh brother!!!!!!

The cashier staff were like disgruntled street prostitutes after a rough night. Hey, honey, I know working at the Strand is tough--hell, I work in the service industry, too--but it is hardly as outputting as plying your wares on the streets of this city. Believe me, I know! From what I have heard!!!!!!

The surliness of these folk was not to be believed. They are working in one of the world's great literary emporiums; they have access to volumes whenever they want, can probably take home stuff and read it--and this is how they act!!! Kiss my ass, you petunias, and clean up your act!!!! Show some respect for us customers, darling, or I am going to speak to Nancy myself, and she will give you bitches what for! Or better yet, I will ask her if I may speak to these guys, and, honey, then they will see the REAL meaning of bitch!!!!! Nancy has nothing on me when it comes to being a bitch, as my faithful blog readers can tell you!!!!!!!! So just remember, the next time The Raving Queen walks in, if I am not treated as the Royalty that I am, darlings, I am going to raise a Royal scene!!!!!!!!

Am I going to let trash like this stop me from going to the Strand??? Of course not--it is too valuable a resource. But, Nancy, dear, I am telling you, your minions had better get their act together or else the Wicked Queen from Snow White will make a LIVE appearance!!!!!!!!

Not that all us Queens are wicked, darlings!!!! Just some of the time!!!!!!!!!

Hats off, and love to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Girls, We Knew We Had A Winner Before We Finished The News Story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time for Bitch Of The Week, girls, and seldom has a winner appeared so early; this one cropped up, I believe on Monday. And right away, darlings, I knew--we had her!!!!!!!!!

But first, let me say something about nun impersonation. Some of the finest people in the world have impersonated nuns--Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music," Jennifer Jones (you better believe it, honey!) in "The Song Of Bernadette," Audrey Hepburn in "The Nun's Story," Rosalind Russell in "The Trouble With Angels." Not to mention both Loretta Young and Celeste Holm in "Come To The Stable." And MERYL and AMY in "Doubt." Plus Dodie Goodman and the various casts, both male and female, of "Nunsense?' And how about those lovely gents out in Frisco, The Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence????

Nothing wrong with impersonating a nun--until NOW!

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is--Mindy Le Grand!!!!!!!!!!!


Darlings, we should never have known about trash like Mindy, but she was found out!!!! It seems that Miss Mindy, age 54, and NO NOVICE, was busted this week for impersonating a nun, soliticitng money on behalf of the homeless and orphans for the Catholic Church. Now, first, don't the homeless and orphans suffer enough indignities without this being thrust upon them?????? And she was doing it on Mulberry Street, where everyone down there--well, MANY at least--belong to a certain social service organization, and let me tell you that orgnaizaton, whatever it may or may not do, does NOT like to have the image of Catholicism tarnished. Forget the Law--"Sister Mindy" is in worse hot water; I am laying odds that soon she will be found in cement in the Hudson or out in the Meadowlands with Jimmy Hoffa!!!!!!!!!!!
And good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!!!!!!!

Because the so-called religious organization that Mindy was trolling for was actually bogus, Brooklyn based church, founded in the 70s by her father, who just happened, by the way, to be a convicted rapist and murderer. It seems the church ran a camp upstate, on which are buried many of Daddy's victims!!!!!!! Sweet, huh??????????? It gets better, loves!!!! The church is now run by Mindy's brother, the father's son, who IS HIMSELF a convicted rapist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about being "All In The Family!" Can you believe this, girls!!!!!!!!!
Bitches don't come any lower than Sister Mindy. At least Anna turns out quality fashion and Martha has a flair for Interior Design. But Mindy is so ugly in her nun outfit she couldn't get herself cast into a drag male company of "Nunsene!" And out of the habit she looks like a fat pig!!!!!!!!! I say throw Mindy in her outfit into Henriettta Hudson's on Saturday night, and let the gals there take care of her!!!!!!
Forget the Mob; these babes will cream her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In all my weeks of doing this column, loves, never has there been someone who is completely unredeemable as a bitch!!!!! Congratulations, Mindy, you have set a precedent, even for THIS blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for the rest of you girls, get busy, don those robes and head out on your "Sound of Music" tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Darlings, Let Me Tell You, Every Gay Man Is Sheila!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, would you beleive that two different characters named Sheila came out of two different musicals that came out of the same theater, the Public, in New York? The first, whom we are not concerned with, is Sheila Franklin in "HAIR." The second, whom we are, is Sheila Bryant in "A Chorus Line."

Now, darlings, you know how much I love and have loved "A Chorus Line." I have seen it 36 times. I could recite the entire script verbatim. I dance it in my own well meaning, ill formed way.

There is one game that all of us who love "A Chorus Line" play, and that is, "Who Are You?" That is, in relation to the show. Not necessarily in terms of dance ability, but in terms of your personality, and whom you identify with.

Now, honey, let me tell you, back in 1975, when I saw the ORGIGINAL production with the ORGINIAL company, I just knew I was Cassie. So many of us back in 1975 wanted to be Donna McKechnie. Hell, I still do!!!!!!!!!

Recently, though, when I discuss this with people, I usually get the same reaction--"Cassie? Oh, no; you are Sheila!" "Why?" I ask them! "Because you tell it like it is, and you take no crap!"

Is that right, darlings? Am I Sheila??? Now, Sheila herself says, "I'm very strong!" which is something, lamb chops, I would never say about myself. But many others say I am. Even Monsieur Davide. I mean, here I am, wanting to be sweet and wholesome like Miss Dorothy, and I get labeled as a tart tongued veteran. Well, I am a veteran of sorts--a Veteran Queen, a Vicious Queen, and of course The Raving Queen.

Which brings me back to the central question--Are most gay men Sheila? Well, like her, they generally go through experiences that harden them. Read yesterday's post on Roberta, and you will see what I mean. Now if only I could stand tall and statuesque and dance "At The Ballet" as well as I can sing it.

Sheila has one moment that is pure ME. In the opening number, she messes up, and the director asks, "Sheila, do you know the combination?" To which she replies, "I knew it when I was in the front!"

Damn right! You better believe I am in the front!

Make sure you stay in the front, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Darlings, Have We Discovered Some Hard Evidence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, girls, what a weekend we had!!!!! The heat was stifling, and to think I had to work on Saturday and wear a girdle!!!!!!!!!! But Sunday made up for it, what with lolling around with the ever enchanting Monsieur Davide, and watching "Another Gay Movie," which, though not exactly Noel Coward, had its moments. But give me Hayley Mills ANY day, darlings.

Now, lambs, let me tell you about the disocvery I made. You remember those far flung, ever distancing days of that horror called High School. Remember how there was ONE GIRL, who dominated the IN GROUP, which everyone wanted to be a part of, but few seldom were. You can bet I should have been a part of it, and I am letting everyone on here know that. Hell, if I had had any sense back then--but how many of us do--I should have formed my own IN group!!!!!!!

Well darlings, in MY high school, the girl who set the tone for things was Roberta! Those nefarious twins, the Dykemans THOUGHT they ruled, but make no mistake, It was Roberta and Nedra who did, and we all knww it!!!!!!! Roberta lived on Lincoln Avenue, darlings, so we knew she came from the creme de la creme of society. Well, I did, too, living on the North Side, but because she lived in the right neighborhood, was Jewish (which counted for just about everything in Highland Park), and was STUNNING, with perfect hair, skin, etc., Roberta got everything in  high school that I was supposed to get--fawning attention from the teachers, membership in the National Honor Society, and social acceptance by all. But The Roberta Group would not, back then, so much as give me the time of day. Do you think I was ever invited to there? WELL...there was that time back in seventh grade, where she and Geri Sue Klein cooked up this fake invitation for Saturday night over at Roberta's house, which I was quick to accept, being I wanted to be accepted by them SO much, and at the same time suspecting I was being set up for some kind of humiliation. Even Aida Esterman tried to warn me; midweek she came up to me in the hall and said "Are you REALLY going over to Roberta's on Saturday?", the implication being I should not. As it turend out, both Roberta and GSK backed out at the last minute, which gives them some credit that they could not go through with hurting me that much.

But wait, Roberta had her moments. I can never forget one Monday in Mrs. Dubin's eighth grade French glass, when Roberta asked us all what we did over the weekend, then said, boastfully, "On Friday night, I went to see "Promiese, Promises!"
Can you believe she saw the Original Production with Donna and Baayork???? I am sure it sailed right over her head. Then there was the time in eighth grade English, when we were discussing movie adaptations of books, and Roberta piped in with her thoughts on the film version of Leon Uris' "Exodus" which she had read. Well, hell, so had I, but when I tried to join in, she froze up, and gave me this look, suggesting "What are YOU doing reading a book like THAT?"

An OF COURSE Roberta was voted into the National Honor Society, because she was perfection in the eyes of Mrs. Santamarina, who hated me, being that I was male, let alone gay, since she was a malevolent, homophobic bitch!!!!!!!!! She now pushes up daisies and is being roasted on a spittoon in HEll. Darlings, her meat is rancid!!!!!!!!!!!

What has this to do with today? Well, let me tell you in the now 37 years since I have graduated high school, we have had sevem reunmions, to which I have been to three. How many has Roberta, the Golden Girl, the Princess, been to??? Zero!!!!!!! Which makes one wonder why? The first quesation people ask at these events is, "Where's Roberta?" But she is not telling.

Then, over the weekend, I discovered a rather recent photo of Roberta, from 2008. Darlings, the hair is perfect, and I have to say she still looks stunning!!!!!!!!!!! But she clings to her husband, and she is clearly in her own world, and beyond the pall of us mortals. She is staying true to her creed, being accesssible, but denying social access except to those whom she deems worthy. After 37 years, clearly that is not me.

Not that I NEED to be, because, Darlings, if you read this blog, you know how FABULOUS and SOPHISTICATED my life is!!!!!!!! You know how happy I am with MONSIEUR DAVIDE!!!!!!!! But human nature is human nature, so one cannot helping wanting a bit of acknowledgement, acceptance, or appology for past misdeeds. Of course, dears, the last laugh is mine--does Roberta realize that by making herself so available on the Internet she is allowing those she may not want to see her to veiw her!!!!! In which case I have triumped over Roberta--HA!HA!! She just doesn't know it!!!!!!!!!!!

So find the Golden Girl of your days, girls, and see if things are as Golden as they were then! My guess would be yes--and no!!!!!!!!!!

Hope to see you soon, Roberta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Darlings, You Do Not Put On Part Two When You Have Not Seen Part One!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, this heat has me knowing how Elizabeth Taylor felt as Maggie in "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof," and why Blanche was gulping so many lemon cokes with crushed ice, and then had to be hauled away to the loony bin!!!!! Well, last eve, the stunning Monsieur Davide and I watched "The Two Mrs. Grenvilles," and it was very illuminating.

First, as one who is as pure as Miss Dorothy, and hails from the same social class, darling, I could relate to the world at hand. To think that Billy Grenville, Jr. married for pussy and not breeding, because Ann was a--gasp!--chorus girl at the Copa! I mean, she had not even gone to Miss Porter's!!!!!!!!! She certainly was no Princess Lee Radizwill!!!!!!!! But Ann thought she could glimb up the social ladder, but she found out that once the true heir was out of the way, that was it, kid!!!!! The nabe is not gonna take up for some showgirl doxy. Remember, this was in the days before Donna McKechnie and such elevated chorus dancers to the level of artistes; at the time of this story they were one step up from prostitutes!!!!!!!!!! Which you better believe I have never been, honey, and would not take up with such as un befitting MY social station, darlings!!!!!!!!!

Now, Monsieur Davide certainly meets all my social criteria, not to mention he is one hot...well, darlings, you know what I mean. But the poor thing gets confused sometimes, which is one reason why I am at hand. I also think, like all of us, the heat is getting to him--because when we finished watching, we discovered he had inserted Part 2 instead of Part One into the player!!!!! And Hell, I wanted MORE Claudette (Colbert) as Alice, because let me tell you, this self-controlled bitch with the creamy sweet voice had ice in her veins. You just GOTTA love her, girls!!!!!!!! Protecting her son and family to the end, even though he married trash, why sghe is like an upscale version of Mrs. Voorhees!!!!!!!!!! Up THIS, I always say!!!!!!!!!!!

Still, we had fun--a really nasty family drama!!!!!!!!!!! And those Grenville daughters; good thing they had money, because they all looked like Cinderella's Ugly Stepsisters!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But remember, girls, you cannot rise up the social scale if you are from the wrong class. So make sure your home is on the right side of the street, and the shcool you go to is socially accredited. As accredited as my social and love life, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get your accreditation NOW, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Darlings, Let's Talk About The Sexism Of Some Of Those "Wheaties" Commercials!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, girls, I have known and loved Wheaties since I was knee high, which was quite a while, darlings, even though I am only 24!!!!! And over those years I have seen hundreds of commercials on TV for this product, but before we get to that, I have a question to ask.

Why is Wheaties always referred to as the "Breakfast Of Champions?" And with sports figures on the cover!!!!!! Such blatant sexism!!!! Why isn't it called the
"Breakfast Of Artists," with the likes of Bernstein, Baryshnikov, Donna McKechnie, even Paul Lynde, on the cover??? Huh, sugar?????????

Of all the TV ads foe this cereal back in the 60s, none was nmore offensive than what I came to call the "He knows he's a Man!" commercial. It followed a father and son on the rapids in a raft of some kind. A narrator pipes in, "There comes a time in a young boy's life....when he knows he's a Man." There is music underscored, the father hands the boy the oar, says, "OK, son!", the kid takes control, and this over the top macho voice--but not campy--starts singing "He knows he's a Man.....He's ready for Wheaties, he knows he's a man!!!!"

I mean, come on!!!!!!!!! While the scene alone has nothing intrinsically wrong with it, the implication that this is the ONLY FORM OF AMERICAN MANHOOD is
sexist, offensive, and idiiotic. I think it is time the Whear=ties advertisers addressed other notions of when a boy becomes a man, such as--

The first time he shoots his own load of cum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time he listens to the Ethel Merman cast recording of "Gypsy!!!!"
The first time he reads "Valley Of The Dolls!!!!!!!!!"
The first time he sees the movie version!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The firsr time he sees the 1956 film, "The Bad Seed"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time he watches an all-male video or DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time he sees a Broadway show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time he steps up to the dance barre!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time he understands the definition of Fag Hag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first time he watches "King Kong" with a sexual eye towards Kong!!!!!!!!

Darling, these are some important and defining moments for some young men, too!
And they should be addressed and given equal time!!!!! I would be happy to personally produce any one of thsese, girls, and be proud of the results!!!!!!!!!

Manhood is not just for the fuckin' Teamsters, bitch!!!! Just check Jacqueline Susann. Bet those Teamsters checked out Jackie more than we knew!!!
So the next time you enjoy bowl of Wheaties, sweeties, remember there is diversity in manhood!!!!!

Fuck, yeah, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Am As Pure As Miss Dorothy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no escaping it, girls, that Miss Dorothy in "Thoroughly Modern Millie", as played by Mary Tyler Moore, is MY role model. Wholesome, pristine and demure, dressed in the most frilly and feminine of dresses, with matching hats and gloves, and beads to match, she is the girl we ALL want to be, darlings--and Hell, we are--complete with a big strong man to protect us, which is what all us Miss Dororthys need. Singing and dancing our way through life, in and out of elevators, makes us feel so COOL and CLEAN!!!!!!!!! Darlings, like Miss Dorothy, I am everything so pure and wholesome I just radiate whiolesomeness!!!!!!!! So today, girls, I want you to put on your frilliest frocks, get out there in the world, and be the Miss Dorothy I know you are all capable of being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just like Mary, and just like ME, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Girls, Have We Got A Bitch For You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week's Bitch Of The Week is SO perfect even her name says it all. Her favorite song is probably Abba's "Gimme Gimme Gimme", but it is not a man after midnight she wants, but money--moolah, moolah, moolah!!!!!!!!!!!

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is none other than Ruth Madoff, wife of financial bilker now in prison Bernie Madoff.

The name says it all, darlings--Madoff, that is "made off," as in "mad off" with all the money. Now, technically, while it was Bernie who was doing such, Ruth sat by and aided and abetted with all the skill of Lady Macbeth. Honey, she had to have her creture comforts, and she did not care whose hard earned life savings they came from. And now, darlings, she is crying poor mouth, having to "lower herself" (!!!!) to doing volunteer work, and we are supposed to feel SO sorry????

Volunteer work? Hey, Ruth, never mind the humanitarianism, you will never make it! How about getting a regular paying job, with an aim to paying back the people Bernie bled dry???? Now THAT would be an act of charity. But it all about Ruth and her reptuation, and looking good, which is why she is such a bitch!!!!!!!!!!! Nice that she can sleep at night and live with her conscience. Where she should be sleeping is next to her husband in jail. Or maybe in a wommen's prison, like in "Caged," with a Hope Emerson type as her matron.

So pile out, Ruth, you tramp!!!!!!!!!!!! Come clean and ease your conscience by doing something to ease the pain Bernie caused others. But you ARE self centered, which is the hallmark of a true bitch!!!!! You better watch your step, Ruth, because what goes around comes around, and that nice cell may be waiting for you eventually!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats on this Bitch honor, Ruth!!!!!!!!!!!! They don't come any bitchier!!!!!!!!!!!

How is that, darlings??????????????????

Darlings, We Just LOVE "Thoroughly Modern Millie"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, we had so much fun last night watching Julie Andrews and Mary Tyler Moore as two fun loving girls on the town in this movie!!!!! Of course, loves, I am Mis Doorthy, and as pure and innconet as she. But the clothes, choreography and settings were mouth watering, Julie was at her loveliest and Mary charmed her wat though. Not to mention Carol Channng, whose rendition of "Jazz Baby" is a classic.
You can bet these gals will never be sold into white slavery. Make sure you are not, either, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Girls, Do You Think Julianne Pours The Coffee??????

Darlings, I am telling you, "The Kids Are All Right" is causing all of us not only to re-evaluate lesbians but ourselves as well. Now, if I am the Julianne character, then I should NOT have to pour my coffee; that should be done by the handsome and virile Monsieur Davide, who, though such, may not look quite as butch in a tank top and hauling fertilizer bags as Annette Benning. But spending time at Monsieur Davide's is a Heaven sent opportunity, what with the heat and my tensions, which will be eased. Plus, I am having such fun reading "Audition" the novel. I am telling you, girls, that Asami is one sly piece. She knows her needlework, I can tell you!!!! And I can't even sew!

This morning we had our meeting and while Grotesque Creatures were there looking as GC as can be, they were kept at bay by others, though they dressed in army green like a fucking drill seargeant!!!!!!!! Of course what would you expect????????? At least I was dressed in my Ralph Lauren shirt and Docker Pants--designers all the wqy, loves!!!!!! I would not have it any other way--and neither would Anna!!!!!!!!

Now, girls rememeber the needlwork you were taught at Miss Porter's, who certainly was no Asami. Stitch and bitch, darlings, stich and bitch. And speaking of bitch, things are looking REAL good for Thursday. Make sure you stay tuned, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Darlings, If We Could All Look Like Julianne Moore, Everyone Would Be A Lesbian!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I am telling you, this is the most important thing I learned from "The Kids Are All Right." Annette and Julianne are going to do for lesbians what has needed for a long time, get rid of the black crepe influence hung over those being such by the likes of Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen De Generes. Another thing is to make sure you have plenty of wine on hand if Annette Benning's Nic comes to visit.

Do lesbians drink more wine than gay men! Hoeny, I don't think so, because I have seen some queens who could outdrink Judy Garland and Elaine Stritch combined. And, honey, they were NOT lesbians!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you believe this heat, darlings!!!!!!! Talk about feeling like the proverbial Cat On A Hot Tin Roof! I am ready to jump off!!!!! But before I do, I am going to cool down and spend some eves at Monsieur Davide's!!!! Which should calm my nerves for tomorrow, when I have a meeting that is going to include Grotesque Creatures. Unless they get a hangnail or a better offer, which I pray.

So sweeties, march out there and see "The Kids Are All Right." Not since "Leapin' Lesbians" has their been such a positive portrayal of this species.

Make sure YOUR species portrayal is always positive, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Darlings,. When Dining In A High End Restaurant, Do Not Attempt To Cop A Feel!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pay attention, now, girls, and you will learn something, that befits those of us who design ourselves as Miss Porter's alum. Last night I was dining with my sexy and handsome amour Monsieur Davide, at that famed romantic spot One If By Land, Two If Bt Sea, to comemorate Restuaruant Week. The atmopshere was superb, the food exquisite--pretzel cheese bread, with two pieces that looked like tits, sparkiling Pellegrino, a red snapper entre for Davide, and a gravitte steak with radishes and potatoes and red cabbage for me. Cappe off by coffee, and respectively, a panna cota, and bannana mousse with ice cream and caarmelized bananas.

Now, I understand, Monsieur had been under duress last week with a smmer cold, from which he ahs fully reocovered. BUT, sweetheart, you do NOT dop your napkin and then grope your partner's crotch under the table. I mean, I am not Paulette Goddard.
And you shoudl have seen the look of lascivious lust he gave me while tonguing his coffee cup as we sipped. As though he were tonguing a freshly....well, I cannot begin to say it.

It is a wonder we were not thrown out. And I have been spotted here before, so my reputation needs to remain spotless. I was gentle, but firm, and I am urging all my girls to take the same approach if confronted with such a situation. When the two of you return to whatever habitue, you can give out all you want. But under no circumstance is it to be done in a high end restuarant!!!!!!!!!!!

Then we leave and he shoves me up against a wall, which rings someone's door bell! I mean, my God!!!!!!!!! Girls, let this be a warning to you. When dining at a romantic spot, make it clear that you mean business. Give him all the business he wants when you get home, but while you are there, lambs, that evening is YOURS, and it is to be observed with proper decorum.

Even if you get hard. Even if it is harder to resist those lascivious eyes!!!!!!!!

See you at nine, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Lets Get Behind And Rally For Alice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, darlings, no one is more sensitive to accusations and remarks of homorphobia made by other people. After all, I grew up in the suburbs of New Jersey, and have still not forgotten in seventh grade when Geri Sue Klein, to my face, referred to me as "a fairy nice boy." And that is just for starters.

Supposedly on Thursday eve, a bunch of self appointed Theater Queens were going to gather outside the booth stage door, to wait for Alice Ripley, the Tony winning star of the Pulitzer Prize winning "Next To Normal," and protest her Facebook remark onlilne. But nobody is criticizing the one who triggered the remark.

What prompted this was another self-appointed queen who had stated he had seen Alice in the show eight times, which was seven too many. Sweetheart, some of these queens can be SO stupid. If you did not like it, or were not enamored of it, then why see it eight times? Twice would be pushing it, but eight????? Who is this bitch kidding?

Now, Alice is a theater verteran who knows the score. She recognizes flippancy (or stupidity) when she sees it. So she flips right back saying that "this actor (I won't say fag) is now my new best friend..." and now all sorts of gays who have no capability of social conscience beyond what is the next party they are going to, have their panties out of sorts. Girls--GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!
First of all, even in her statement Alice said she wouldn't say fag, second how many tinmes do you hear gay men of a certain vintage and sophistication say, "THAT's a change from the fags you're ususally stuck with," or reciting Edith Massey's speech," I would be so proud if you was a fag, with a real beautician boyfriend..." from "Female Trouble." Darlings, Alice is just being one of the gang; as she has said she has been a supporter of the gay community for years, she knows who made her career, loves, and how many of us traipsed out to Paper Mill just to see her sing "Meadowlark" in "The Baker's Wife." Kiss my ass, you bitches!!!!!!!!! Get off Alice's case, and learn some important things--like who the President of the United States is, and what Anna is planning for the Fall lineup. Silly Queens have nothing better to do than throw a hissy fit over nothing!!!!! Do you want to compare Alice to some REAL homophobes, like Mel Gibson or Adam Sandler??? And they are just plug ugly, unlike Alice.

So I am here getting behind and rallying for Alice, and I urge you all to do the same!!!!! Alice, we love you and look forward to seeing you in your next endeavor. And I hope when you exited the Booth stage door Thursday eve, you bitch slapped those silly queens with their own panties.

MY panties are firmly in place. Make sure yours are, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Oh, My God, Darlings, Barbara Parkins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, last night we curled up and watched the 1971 oldie "The Mephisto Waltz." This is the one where Alan Alda plays a failed convert pianist, who is befriended by a renowned one and his evil, incestuous dauaghter. They try to channel Satan to transmigrate souls to take over other bodies so they can continue their relationship into eternity.

What is important here is that Roxanne DeLancy, the evil, incestuous daughter, is played by Barbara Parkins, who is just STUNNING. Girls, back in the
60s and early 70s, we all wanted to look like Barbara Parkins--to dress like her, wear our hair like her. When she comes down the stairs here in the black gown with her hair pulled back--well, not since Gene Tierney as Isabel in the 1946 "The Razor's Edge" has there been anything more stunning. And don't forget she repsresents all us gay guys coming to New York when, as Ann Wells, she presses heer face to the windowpane of the train, in the classic opening of "Valley Of The Doll;s."

Barbara has done so much for beauty and glamour in our generation. It was a pleasure to see her last night--so much so it is enough to make me draw a pentagram and light a candle. But you don't mess with the Devil. But then he dowes not mess with me, because I know two words to keep him at bay--Anna Wintour!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bet she knows how to draw her pentagram, loves!!!!!! THat is probably hwo she gto VOGUE. Make sure you don't stain the carptet, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, What A Fabulous Bitch We Have This Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, this week's selection is on the border of crossing over from Bitch into scum, but we are going to keep it at Bitch Of The Week, because rottensess doesn't come any more rotten!!!!!!!!!

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is---Mel Gibson!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Mel, once he was thought to be one of the hottest things in film. Of course, he did nothing for me, darlings, because my taste is so much more sophisticated. But, honey, his film career has tanked, his father has revealed himself as a racist, antiSemtitc, homophobic bigot, and let us just say the apple does not full far from the tree.

How about telling the one you love, "You need a bat in the head?" How about saying to her, "I will burn down your house, but first you are gonna have to blow me?" Huh? I mean, are we kidding? But nothing can top--"You will be put in the backyard, cunt, and I am capable of doing it."

REAL classy, Mel, very Noel Coward. What someone needs to do is truss him up in a sling, fist fuck his hole and paddle his balls until he screams in agony. And then IF he still does not behave, remove them!!!!!!! Let's get Ellen Page to do it, since she was so good in "Hard Candy." This is one Gibson vehicle I would pay to see.

Now maybe there are substance and drink issues. But this anger has always been there, no matter. I think it comes from being a Republican, myself. What Mel does not realize is the reason his career has tanke is because his behavior has done him in. And unless he gets his act together, he will no logner have a career because no one will support a sexist, racist PIG!!!!!!!

Oink oink, Mel!!!!!!!!!!! Go roll in your mudhole or get someone to stick something up your hole!!!!! It might change your perspective. Meanwhile, girls, keep your persepctive on this bitch who is one to avoid. We salute you as Bitch Of The Week, Mel not because we love you, but because we have to warn others that you are to be gotten rid of!!!!!!!

Hope to see you hanging soon in a meat produce store!!!!! Love to all my darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Happy Bastille Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, can you believe we have made it to another Bastille Day???? Our host and role model is of course the great Madame Da Farge, especially as portrayed by Blanche Yurka in the 1935 Selznick movie. She really had it in for those Darnays, just like we all have it for someone, don't we, mon petits????

But instead of dwelling on the guillotine, I will dwell on dining this eve with an enchanting gentleman at at charming French bistro/restaurant in the Village. "Sale of Two Titties," my ass, do you think I am dumb, like Alice BLake. Like all the Alice Blakes I was force to go to school with during my first 12 years???? Huh!!!!!!!!!!

It is much too pleasant and exciting a day to dwell on such matters!!!! Manger! Manger! and Vive La France! That's what say, darling! Je t'aime, je t'aime, tout de suite!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Girls, There Is Not A Soul In Sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is Tuesday, darlings, which means I have to at least THINK about who MIGHT be this week's Bitch Of The Week, but at this point I haven't a clue. After rewatching that film "Audition," one might target that sick thing Asami, but the thing is, you cannot LOVE Asami, the way you can Anna or even Martha, because she(Asami) has no camp value. And Asami killed a dog, which not even Anna or Martha has done. I mean, Anna wears fur coats, yes, but she does not personally go out and kill the animals herself. Or maybe her staff would disagree. I am telling you I do not advocate Asami killing the dog, but I have no objection to a fabulous fox fur, loves!!!!!!!!!!! Kiss me in it, darlings! What becomes a legend most??????????????

Remember, darlings, the only hit that comes out of The Raving Queen is The Raving Queen, and that's ME, baby!!!!!!!!! I am a professional, honey, and even if I am tanked I would never do the second act first. Though there are some second acts--and I have seen them--that should be done first, while the first should be jettisoned.

No, girls, we have not yet seen "The Kids Are All Right," but all my non lesbian friends (!!!!!!) are simply raving about it!!!!! That is, in between their raving about Mr. Mark Ruffalo and all his....charms!!!!!!!!!! Charm this, darlings!!!!!!!!!

Tonight we are going to curl up with the latest J.M. Barrie bio, which is sensational to say the least. Imagine--Daphne Du Maurier having lesbian fantasies about Gertrude Lawrence? Who would have fantasies about either???? Neither was exactly Blythe Danner, lambs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes you want to just fly out the nursery window to Neverland, sweeties!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you all find your own Neveland, wherever it may be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Girls, Who Would Imagine A Film About Lesbians Would Be The Summer's Most Exciting??????

Darlings, you remember the furor last summer when "Julie and Julia," with the Misses Streep and Adams, was the most anticipated cinematic event of the summer. Well, this year the accolades go to Nic and Jules, who are characters, not a film title, played by Annette Benning and Julianne Moore in "The Kids Aare All Right." Swweties, you know I am not one to get too excited about lesbians, after having so many fights with them (well, one in particular!) and then almost getting clobbered by a knife weiling one a few months back at Manatus. But with Annette Benning impoving her looks and acting with age--an exception there, lambs!--and Julianne Moore looking, well, Julianne Moore, these are two lesbians that will have every Netropolitan Area queen flocking to the theaters since the golden days of Audrey Hepburn and Shirley Maclaine. Only much more upbeat. And of course, for those Queens, darling, you throw in Mark (ruff ruff!) Rufflao, which will be the one ingredient that will keep these queens from wanting to be lesbains and stay the queeny queens they are!!!!! Have you seen it yet, darlings????? I simply cannot wait!!!!!! This film could do more for lesbians than Dykes On Bykes; in fact, it could undo the harm that staid organization does, which is to make us gay men TERRIFIED of those Man Hating Lesbians!!!!!! So let us rush out to the theaters and support our sisters Annette and Julianne!!!!! Who knows, maybe a movie with Jake and Ryan Gosling adopting a kid could follow!!!!!!! And you know we will ALL be there, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fly beyond that rainbow, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Darlings, Why Don't They Bring Back "Mystery Date?"

Girls, back when some of us were SUPPOSED to be boys, when we began being victimized by all that heterosezist shit, in the mid 60s, Milton Bradley came out with a game called "Mystery Date." It was on a board, but it had a hosue door tht opened, behind which a date waited. Your Mystery Date could either be a "dream" or a "dud," thereby already teaching the girls who played the game that everything is based on looks, which we know now is not true. It is based on who is in good with ANNA!!!!!!!!

Some of us boys had olderr sisters, cousins, etc, who played this game, and of course we all wanted to. I was DYING to, darlings, but it just wasn't done back then. G.I. Joe was found more acceptable for us, and I could care less about him, until I discovered I could pull his clothes off, even his pants, and examine his fabulous male body. Of course I had no idea where this was leading, but at least I got pleasure our of GI Joe--though not what was expected!!!!!!

And now having reache an age where the unexpected bas become more, well, fashionable, I am making a plea for Milton Bradley to bring back "Mystery Date." And to update it to a Gay Male Edition, because the dates behind that door are going to look a lot more different than their straight 60s counterparts. Less clothes, for starters!!!! I mean, we want to see MORE, don't we, darlings????????????

Imagine a bunch of guys playing "Mystery Date." I am telling you, you have no idea what a bunch of bitches are out there until this happens. The competiton for the best game playing wardrobe, the accessories, the best centerpiece for the table on which the game is played, the most delectable snacks and drinks....darling it will be one big game of whom can outdo the other????? Plus fabulous packages hidden behind closed doors. The winner gets to take home one of the players, especially if that player is YOUR date, and I can tell lyou right now who I am taking home, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So forsake Colorforms,darlings, and let us hear it for the return of "Mystery Date." May all your dates be winning ones with less clothing!!!!!!!!!!

Watch out for those panties, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Darlings, You Are NOT Going To Believe This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, no sooner do I post THIS week's Bitch Of The Week, then I hear of a situation that poses two contenders for that title next week. Both are involved in the Barrow St Production of "Our Town," which I have been wanting to see for a long time. Well, I will not be seeing it for awhile NOW because wait till you hear whom the director, Potential Bitch #1, has cast in the role of the Stage Manager, girls!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you ready for this? None other than........Miss Helen Hunt???????????


The problem is not that a woman has been cast in this role (has it ever been done, darlings!) but with an actress of such mediocrity she should never have gotten beyond community theater productions at a suburban YMCA!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen Hunt is the daughter of casting director, Gordon Hunt, and that is WHY she is in the business. The ONLY reason. True, back in the 70s, she started out promisingly playing snippy teen bitches and sluts, because she was so snippy looking herself, but after girlhood left her she should have settled down with a husband and kids, instead of trying to make out that she is an actress. Oscar has done some stupid things in its time, but few things match giving her the award for "As Good As It Gets." And "Mad About You?" ANY actress in that age range could have played that role, come one!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, "Our Town" is an American classic, and is NOT to be tampered with. I mean, Meryl Streep would have been fabulous. So would Amy Adams. Or Blythe Danner. Even Kathleen Chalifant! I would even second Estelle Parsons!!!! But, honey, these women are ACTRESSES, and Helen Hunt is WAY out of their league.

When I saw her feeble Viola in Lincoln Center's "Twelfth Night," her out of leagueness was made crystal clear by the way Kyra Sedgwick's Olivia acted rings around her!!!!!!!!! Because Kyra can ACT. Helen, loves, has been coasting on both her father's name AND that TV series for years.

It is time to hang it up, doll! You never had it to begin with!!!!!!!!!!!!

This makes about as much sense as casting ME as Helen Keller in "The Miracle Worker." But you know I would be BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!

See you all onstage, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, It Is A Good Thing, And It's About Time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, girls, you have been after me on this one for quite some time, so today you will get your wish. Bur before I explain what that means in relation to this week's Bitch Of The Week, I want to say a few words about a recent winner here, none other than Miss Lindsay Lohan, who has gone on to consolidate and honor the title we bestowed upon her by landing a 90 day jail sentence. And wouldn't you know, poor Lindsay cried crocodile tears, but she managed to change her outfit for each court appearance. Now that is a TURE bitch, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!

But this week's winner has earned a special place in our hearts because she is one of the most visible bitches extant, not to mention one who has done time in the slammer. Not for murder, though if it could be proven......

However, let's get on with it!

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is----Martha Stewart!!!!!!!!!!!!

So many of you want to know why I have not named Martha sooner. Others wanted to know why I did not START with her. Sweeties, bitches have been at it long before Martha, though she has been at it for quite awhile, being no spring chicken herself. Let us review Martha here.

Miss So-Called Doyenne of Dometicity began her life as a cheal Polack in Nutley, New Jersey. Honey, I have seen the house, and let me tell you, it was NOT the home of a Miss Porter's alum. Plus clumps of lawn were exposed from having its grass pulled out by the roots by gawkers who wanted to get a piece (heh heh!) of Martha Stewart. Honestly, you would think these were pilgrimages at Lourdes. The sad thing, is, darlings, that in New Jersey and at other suburban enclaves extant, there are those poor unfortunates who actually BELIEVE Martha is something. Oh, she is something all right--a Barnard grad (and how did she get int there, I would like to know) who would step over her mother and still get a good night's sleep. I understand by the time she had her mother on the show, Mother was afraid of her. She has a daughter who says things about her that makes Christina's comments about Joan seem like adultation, a husband who walked out on this bitch, all of which does not bother Martha, as long as she has her domestic empire and place in Connecticut. She cam fool some people, darlings, but she can't fool ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Added to which Miss Stewart has done some time in the Big House. Honey, it was just like "Caged," and I am sure she fit right in, giving all the girls not only a new look for their cells, with homemade curtains, good, nourishing meals, and towels from K-Mart bearing her name, but tips on how to roll over your assets wisely, without anyone being the wiser. Of course, as the NY Post told us, Baby Assistant Put Martha In Her Place!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is Martha a natural blonde? Are you kidding????????? And look at where all that taste testing has gotten her--honey, she and Oprah could buy each other's clothes!!!!!!! But Martha wear the clothes of a BLACK woman???????? Never!!!!!!!! Thouogh she IS an equal opportunity abuser in allowing them to work for her as long as they last, and letting them enter and exit by way of the special servants door!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, darlings, Martha is some bitch. I swear, if Michelle Obams knocked on her front door, not only would she send her around back--she would put her to work!!!!!!!

But you just have to LOVE Martha for providing the copy that she does here.
In the meanitme, let me close with a fashion tip that even Martha is not aware of--

Girls, in this weather, the importance of freeze dried panties cannot be overstressed!!!!!!!!!!!

Makes you feel so cool and clean, girls!!!!! Just like ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Darlings, Is It Possible Rhoda Penmark Grew Up To Be Anna Wintour???????????????

Girls, this question occured to me during my July 4th weekend bitchfest!!!!! Which began by the way with a big bitchfest, by way of the superb revival now playing of Lillian Hellman's "Another Part Of The Forest." This is a prequel to "The Little Foxes," showing how they all became, well, foxy, and let me tell you they were despicable right from the start. You just gotta LOVE these bitches. And the importance between coffee and successful bitchery cannot be overestimated, as in this production it seems at every turn someone was drinking a cup of coffee or asking for one. Girls, you do NOT want to mess with me in the morning before I have my coffee. Just ask anyone who has. Better yet, don't. You would never find them.

On July 4th, after setting off a few viteruptive pyrotechnics of our own (Mmmmmmmmmmm!) we watched "The Bad Seed," that timeless tale of childhood enchantment and murder. Little Rhoda dresses and carries on with the manners worthy of a Miss Porter's graduate, but don't you get in HER way, darlings, or you might get bumped off. And then there is Nancy Kelly's fifties hairstyle and warbrobe, her hysteria, the set decor, those wonder this film is so popular with gays!!!!! Plus Rhoda can be seen as a figure of empowerment fighting all those who consider her an outsider, just as so many of us gays had to do when we were children. But I never drowned anyone for it, let me tell you. Though I THOUGHT about it!!!!!!!!

And then we followed with "The September Issue," featuring our nation's most powerful and beloved Bitch, Anna Wintour. Honey, she makes two million a year and runs VOGUE, and dictates world fashion!!!!!!! That hairstyle, those outfits, those legs......honey, Anna knows the score!!!!!!! And she has to have her coffee first thing in the morning, which seems to be a hallmark for all us successful bitches!!!!!!!! And when she gets to the office, she drinks Starbucks. Poor Grace Coddington, so sweet, so one time stunning, having to be trampled on by Anna all the time. It is definitely made clear at VOGUE that the ONLY POV is Anna's, just like on this blog and when with ME, the only POV is MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Imagine if Anna and I sat down to lunch..........MEOW!!!!............Catfight!!!!!!!!!!! Bitchfest!!!!!!!!! Anna, we LOVE you, you have taught us all how to be a bitch, and we salute you!!!!!!!!

Make sure all your color blockings meet with Anna's approval, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!
See you at the next fashion shoot, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Darlings, I Have NO Intention Of Socializing With KOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, girls, you know I do not mean all my faithful readers, because as you know it is the ones who avoid the wisdom of this blog who are the true kooks. That is just my inner Neely speaking, Neely being the VOTD role I was BORN to play, because I have LIVED it darlings. Alison has GOT to go. I will not let that girl steal MY show. She almost walked off with at dress rehearsal!!!!!!!!!!

But here we are facing another Fourth of July weekend. Time for me to think again about doing my Little Edie Sparkler Dance, because, I am telling you, we are a bunch of STAUNCH characters!!!!!!!! Lots of corn on the cob, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fourth of July always makes me think about those bucolic summer gatherings at Aunt Edna and Uncle Jimmy's in South Plainfield when I was a child. The food and atmosphere was exceptional. To me, Fourth of July will always be associated with this, even though that ended more than 30 years ago, which at the time I never thought it would!!!!!!!!!

And we are going to have such fun tonight, darlings at "Another Part Of The Forest!" A whole family of bitches! I cannot imagine why I was NOT sent up for this; it cries out to have me playing in it. Maybe after tonight I can get in the replacement cast, though I do very few replacements, girls! But as Eve Harrington said, "I'd do more than that for a part THAT good!"

So bake those burgers and weenies, and sweeties don't burn your real ones!
Roast marshmallows, not your testicles!!!!!! Have a Fabulous Fourth, darlings, and remember to wear those all important panties except on those VERY special occasions!
Like down by the water, loves!

So cool and clean, darlings!!!!!!!!

Love to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Darlings, This Bitch Is Enough To Make You Miz-erable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, let me tell you, the theater, as a profession, has more bitches extant than any other I can think of, with the possible exceptions of law and politics. Once again the winner of this week's Bitch Of The Week award comes from the theatrical realm, AND he is a man.

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week award is Cameron Mackintosh!!!!!!!!

Cameron was largely isnturmental in intitiating the influx of British musicals onto Broqdwqy in the 1980s, before it became a Disney Palace. And he did some good work. But, honey his latest fails on several coutns.

Now, for 2012, not that far away, is being planned a remounting of the musical "Les Miserables" to comemorate its 25th anniversary. Nothing wrong with that; however Cameron has announced his intention to "rethink" (bullshit!) it in terms of conception and staging, which means we could end up with "Les Miserables Idiot" or "Jean Valjean's Awakening!" Darlings, this is not accepted!!!!!!!!!!!!

And apparently, Trevor Nunn and John Napier, who created the original, agree with me, because they have let lose that they are angry that Mackintosh has neglected to consult them about any aspect of the remounting, and is bringing in a whole new and younger production team, who will probably turn it into what I described before. This is bad enough, for what made the show great may no longer be--in which case let us see how long it runs, ha ha!!!!!!!!!! But the arrogance of Cameron in dismissing two theatrical geniuses is one thing that makes him our winner this week.

But there is ANOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, at no time, during all these creative meetings, fights, and consultations, has anyone approached me about playing the role of Fantine!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can do an "I Dreamed A Dream" that would make an onion cry. When I did it, there was never a dry eye in the house. And Fantine is MY part. First, I don't get sent up for "Another Part of the Forest," now I don't get seen for Fantine. I am going to have to get me a new agent, because someone is not doing their job!!!!!!

But Cameron knows I am out there and where to find me, he can always pick up the phone and call. However, if he thinks I will play it like some Goth slut he is full ot it, I will be in full period regalia or else!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, Cameron on being designated Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!!!
I hope your reimagining of this musical theater classic TANKS!!!! You know something, girls? It WILL, because audiences today are not as sophisticated as they were back in 1987. In fact, they may not even know what Les Miz is. You can be damn ssure they never heard of Victor Hugo, let alone read him.

So this bitch is bitching about Cameron and theater in general. But don't let me stop your pursuit of excellence, lambs!!!!! But boycott this productiion--unless I am cast as Fantine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Otherwise, see you on the aisle, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!