Darlings, You Are NOT Going To Believe This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, no sooner do I post THIS week's Bitch Of The Week, then I hear of a situation that poses two contenders for that title next week. Both are involved in the Barrow St Production of "Our Town," which I have been wanting to see for a long time. Well, I will not be seeing it for awhile NOW because wait till you hear whom the director, Potential Bitch #1, has cast in the role of the Stage Manager, girls!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you ready for this? None other than........Miss Helen Hunt???????????

Huh?

The problem is not that a woman has been cast in this role (has it ever been done, darlings!) but with an actress of such mediocrity she should never have gotten beyond community theater productions at a suburban YMCA!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen Hunt is the daughter of casting director, Gordon Hunt, and that is WHY she is in the business. The ONLY reason. True, back in the 70s, she started out promisingly playing snippy teen bitches and sluts, because she was so snippy looking herself, but after girlhood left her she should have settled down with a husband and kids, instead of trying to make out that she is an actress. Oscar has done some stupid things in its time, but few things match giving her the award for "As Good As It Gets." And "Mad About You?" ANY actress in that age range could have played that role, come one!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, "Our Town" is an American classic, and is NOT to be tampered with. I mean, Meryl Streep would have been fabulous. So would Amy Adams. Or Blythe Danner. Even Kathleen Chalifant! I would even second Estelle Parsons!!!! But, honey, these women are ACTRESSES, and Helen Hunt is WAY out of their league.

When I saw her feeble Viola in Lincoln Center's "Twelfth Night," her out of leagueness was made crystal clear by the way Kyra Sedgwick's Olivia acted rings around her!!!!!!!!! Because Kyra can ACT. Helen, loves, has been coasting on both her father's name AND that TV series for years.

It is time to hang it up, doll! You never had it to begin with!!!!!!!!!!!!

This makes about as much sense as casting ME as Helen Keller in "The Miracle Worker." But you know I would be BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!

See you all onstage, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!