Darlings, It Is A Good Thing, And It's About Time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, girls, you have been after me on this one for quite some time, so today you will get your wish. Bur before I explain what that means in relation to this week's Bitch Of The Week, I want to say a few words about a recent winner here, none other than Miss Lindsay Lohan, who has gone on to consolidate and honor the title we bestowed upon her by landing a 90 day jail sentence. And wouldn't you know, poor Lindsay cried crocodile tears, but she managed to change her outfit for each court appearance. Now that is a TURE bitch, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!

But this week's winner has earned a special place in our hearts because she is one of the most visible bitches extant, not to mention one who has done time in the slammer. Not for murder, though if it could be proven......

However, let's get on with it!

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is----Martha Stewart!!!!!!!!!!!!

So many of you want to know why I have not named Martha sooner. Others wanted to know why I did not START with her. Sweeties, bitches have been at it long before Martha, though she has been at it for quite awhile, being no spring chicken herself. Let us review Martha here.

Miss So-Called Doyenne of Dometicity began her life as a cheal Polack in Nutley, New Jersey. Honey, I have seen the house, and let me tell you, it was NOT the home of a Miss Porter's alum. Plus clumps of lawn were exposed from having its grass pulled out by the roots by gawkers who wanted to get a piece (heh heh!) of Martha Stewart. Honestly, you would think these were pilgrimages at Lourdes. The sad thing, is, darlings, that in New Jersey and at other suburban enclaves extant, there are those poor unfortunates who actually BELIEVE Martha is something. Oh, she is something all right--a Barnard grad (and how did she get int there, I would like to know) who would step over her mother and still get a good night's sleep. I understand by the time she had her mother on the show, Mother was afraid of her. She has a daughter who says things about her that makes Christina's comments about Joan seem like adultation, a husband who walked out on this bitch, all of which does not bother Martha, as long as she has her domestic empire and place in Connecticut. She cam fool some people, darlings, but she can't fool ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Added to which Miss Stewart has done some time in the Big House. Honey, it was just like "Caged," and I am sure she fit right in, giving all the girls not only a new look for their cells, with homemade curtains, good, nourishing meals, and towels from K-Mart bearing her name, but tips on how to roll over your assets wisely, without anyone being the wiser. Of course, as the NY Post told us, Baby Assistant Put Martha In Her Place!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is Martha a natural blonde? Are you kidding????????? And look at where all that taste testing has gotten her--honey, she and Oprah could buy each other's clothes!!!!!!! But Martha wear the clothes of a BLACK woman???????? Never!!!!!!!! Thouogh she IS an equal opportunity abuser in allowing them to work for her as long as they last, and letting them enter and exit by way of the special servants door!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, darlings, Martha is some bitch. I swear, if Michelle Obams knocked on her front door, not only would she send her around back--she would put her to work!!!!!!!

But you just have to LOVE Martha for providing the copy that she does here.
In the meanitme, let me close with a fashion tip that even Martha is not aware of--

Girls, in this weather, the importance of freeze dried panties cannot be overstressed!!!!!!!!!!!

Makes you feel so cool and clean, girls!!!!! Just like ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!