How Much Crap Can A Theater Critic Stand????????????????????

                                        The ones who get paid six figures and up have to stand for a lot more, so perhaps I, who am not paid, should be grateful for small favors.  I do this out of love and passion.  When young, it was my sole ambition to be a theater or film critic.  You see, I was--or so, I thought--destined to walk into "The New York Times," and say, "Here I am!  Not unlike Joyce Maynard at 18.  Well, life intervened in my case, and so here I am, still writing, and not intending to stop.  Am I trying to procrastinate writing about "The Lost Boys?"  Is it that bad?  You bet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         I never saw the movie, and, even after viewing the musical, I do not care to.  Forget the Peter Pan metaphor of the title--those wanting the real thing had best go to J.M. Barrie, Mary Martin, or even Cathy Rigby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          There are two impressive performances in the show--Shoshana Bean, playing, yet again, another put upon mother, and Benjamin Pajak as young Sam Emerson, a burgeoning gay young man, and, with Bean, one of the best voices in the company.  Pajak has proved himself twice in the recent revival of "The Music Man," where he played Winthrop, and in "Oliver!" at ENCORES, where he played the title role giving one of the most plaintive renderings of "Where Is Love?" I have ever heard.  The entire cast is filled with wonderful voices, but having to sing The Rescues' (?) lackluster score, where one song sounds just like the other, being the case today in most modern musicals that the audience walks out not caring one bit about the show or the characters in it.

                                         And the book, by David Hornsby and Chris Hoch, derived from the 1987 movie, is simplistic at best.  A single parent family moves to a new town to start over--and becomes involved with vampires?  Are you kidding me?  Who cares?  And, for connoisseurs of vampire literature, if you think Anne Rice played fast and lose with vampire methodology, wait till you see what is done here!

                                          The show runs over two hours but seems longer.  There are technical effects, and flying to tease the audience, but really, why should Michael Arden get a credit?  From the results, it looks like he has directed nothing, that the actors are all just doing this themselves.  Better to have had Eve Arden, if that was possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             I am sorry, but if more shows like "The Lost Boys" keep coming in to Broadway, then Broadway is going to lose.  And if that happens, thus begins the cultural decline that some are avidly hoping for.

                                               Well, not on my beat, darlings!  I still hold out for art, charm and entertainment, not to mention quality music.

                                                   To shows like "The Lost Boys" I can only say--Get Lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!