Sammy, Oh Sammy

Time to get real for just an installment, Girls!

Sometimes the defining moments of one's life are not apparent--at least completely--when they are before you. Case in point takes me back to the afternoon of October 25, 1975, when, with my father, I saw for the first time, a then"new" musical entitled "A Chorus Line" with the now legendary Original Cast.

The critical acumen in me knew I was seeing a classic the instant the lights came up. What I did not realize was I was witnessing something that would come to guide me in the years ahead, particularly in the presences of two "liners" who came to be my angels--Donna McKechnie, whom almost anyone who knows me has heard me waz rhapsodic about for over thirty years.

But few know of my other angel in that show,my hero, Sammy Williams.

Why is Sammy my hero?

Well, for starters we are both Jersey boys--he from Trenton, I from Highland Park. We are both Scorpios and November babies--he the 13th and I the 18th, albeit six years apart--Sammy in 1948, myself in 1954. We both grew up gay in an environment and time that did not promote that and found our respective ways out--Sammy with dance, myself with books and academics.

But it all came together that October afternoon. Watching the show with my father next to me is still one of the more memorable experiences of my life, not only because my father was enormously impressed by what he saw; at 92 he still remembers "A Chorus Line" and Donna McKechnie, but for what he does not know, which is this--that as we were watching it, especially as I was watching Sammy do the Paul monologue--and no one did it better--I kept glancing over at my father, then at Sammy, then at my father, fearful he would detect my secret, which was earlier that same week--October 20, to be exact, while at college, I had had my very first homosexual (altogether sexual, as the notion of women repulsed me) experience.

As the years widened, so too did this memory. And with the years, as I watched Sammy struggle, he, helped me to struggle; at many points when I wanted to give up I would often say, "Sammy would never give up." And he never has, as from what I understand he is bravely attempting to reignite his career.

I always wished I could tell this to Sammy personally. Maybe I am doing so here. How that afternoon, and his presence, helped a tender 20 year old from Jersey face himself. How it ultimately guided me into a musical theater class, culminating in a Master's degree, a job in the arts, and life in New York City. My dream of fame never came true, but with Sammy to inspire me, I have somehow been able to get through whatever low points I have reached.

We the theatergoers owe an enormous debt to "A Chorus Line." In addition I owe an enormous debt to Sammy.

So to Sammy I say--please keep working and struggling so that I can continue to. You are not a quitter and have helped me not to be one and your efforts will pay off. In some distant future perhaps we can cross paths in New York where I can make this all abundantly clear.

But this will have to suffice. For now.