Girls, We Are Such Excellent Role Models!!!!

Ever since our anointment years before by St. Elizabeth of Taylor, we have become the arbiters for taste in our society. And why not? We know best what should be eaten, worn, seen, read and consorted with for the asking. Do you think any of us need astrologers or columnists like Cindy Adams or Liz "bulldyke" Smith to tell US what to do? Not so my sweets! We are Masters of Our Own Domain and that means everything that phrase applies. So is it any wonder the unenlightened come to us for enlightment? Sweeties, when those less knowledgeable appeal to my more brilliant sensibilities I just look at them compassionately and address them with the facts as though they were Homer Simpson sitting in front of his television set. Which in some cases they are.

Let's face it, girls, most of us consciously fled a Homer Simpson television based situation based on our early upbringings. We fled from the land of child molested milk cartons to the land of flowered chintz!!!!

Girls, I want you to go home tonight and think to yourselves about expanding possibilities. And no I am NOT talking about your waist and girdle size. They are big enough already. Look at your world situation as one to be dealt with exclusively by rouge or mascara. Even some Maybelline lip gloss. Darlings, if my lips are not succulent when I leave the house in the morning, I might just as well be naked!

So get a good night sleep, put that cold cream and face mask over your eyes and shut out the world like Bette Davis as 1930s Baby Jane!!!!!!!!

"Pardon me. Ah'm Miz Brent!"