Girls, You Will Not Believe What Happened!!!!!

..........But it did, let me tell you!

Tuesday night, the evening before my natal day, the Chelsea Clearview was having a 70th anniversary screening of my all-time favorite film--yes, darlings, "The Wizard Of Oz!" You just know I bought my tkt a week in advance because I figured every queen or Oz nutso in the city would just be there for this sold out event! Well, the event was well attended, but it wasn't sold out. Surprise, surprise, girls!!!!

Now, the previews are running onscreen, the lights are down, when suddenly, this man, woman and the woman's daughter, who could not be more than 5, come running down the aisle, and plop themselves directly in front of me. You can be sure I was not happy, lambs, but this would not have been a problem IF the child in question was capable of settling down, which was clear to me in the first few minutes she was not. Which I could anticipate would be a problem and did become one, as the pre-movie documentary aired. Twice during such I politely "Ssshed" , and the mother at least grasped the situation and spoke something to the child, who for a time, settled down. The man responded by banging his chair seat back, as if trying to hit me. What the hell is that all about, I thought. I could see this was going to be a no-win situation.

My hunch was confirmed, because as the documentary wound down, the litle girl got up out of her seat and began wildly walking up and down the aisle beside us, in front of us, all about, while her adult figures, clearly over 30, just sat and did nothing!!!! Finally, not able to take it any other, I said firmly but minus malice, "Would someone please have that child sit down?"
Again, the mother seemed to grasp the situation, and took the child and moved to another, less congested part of the theater, where the tot's behavior would not disturb anyone. Wise woman. The man, before this, had turned around in his seat at me, and in a threatening manner, told me to "fuckin' stop talkin'." In hearing range of the child, with the F word; real classy!!!!! When the mother and child moved, he got up to follow, but not before turning to me and whispering in my ear, "I'll see YOU after the movie, outside the theater!"

Can you imagine? Being threatened at "The Wizard Of Oz?" A "Rambo" film, sure.
But this? Girls, I am not even sure this was the girl's father, my take on the situation was this guy was accompanying his girlfriend and daughter and Mr. Macho just wanted to show how macho he could be. Fortunately, the film started, and as always worked its magic. But when the lights came up, I knew I had to do something. Not only was I not going to be bitched out, I had no intention of being punched out. And for what? For his being a jerk?

So I told the concession aids, one of whom took me to the manager's office. I was asked for a desription of the guy, and gave it! You better believe it, honey!!!!! I was then offered two complimentary tkts good for any time, and, even more valuable, assurance I would be safe, because one of the security guards was asked to escort me to my subway stop, just a block away. He asked for a description too, saying to look around when we got outside, because if I saw him, the guard would deal with him then and there. But the jerk failed to materialize, which was good, though I would personally have loved to cause him some trouble too, and was clearly not following us, as I looked back once. I got to the subway, and that was that.

Why today's cultural consumers feel entitled to behave inappropriately is something I cannot fathom? Is it cell phones? The dumbing down of America? All of the above? Technnically speaking, I COULD have moved MY seat, but as I thought, why should I? I was there for serious reasons, as was most of the audience, and I had bought my tkt WELL IN ADVANCE. I felt I was being encroached on. Fortunately the management tht so, too.

So, girls, when you go to cultural events, try not sitting among idiots. As I have always said, loves, Tennesssee Williams told it like it was, and when he had Blanche say to Stella, "Don't hang back with the brutes," this is a perfect example of what was meant. And like Blanche, I refused, though I am not in the loony bin, yet.

No wonder I saw "God of Carnage" on my birthday, because on some subconscious level it gave me a safe channel for agressions I wanted to take out on this guy, which would have landed me somewhere. So I should thank the GOC cast for taking care of this for me, and I do.

But, darlings, when you go to an event, stand up for your cultural rights!!!!!!

And then have a wonderful luncheon, and get your nails done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!