Mrs. Voorhees Is Mother Of The Year

"Kill her, Mommy, kill her. Don't let her live.
I won't, Jason, I won't.
Get her, Mommy. Get her. She can't hide. No place to hide.
Kill, her, Mommy! KILL HER!"
---Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Voorhees in "Friday The 13th " (1980)

Darlings, these iconic words just warm the cockles of my girlish heart! A mother who stands up for her child; what could be more tender than that? If only Betsy had said those immortal words live for us all to hear last Saturday. The audience would have gone wild.

You just have to love Mrs. Voorhees. Darlings, such androgyny. You can be sure, girls,
stuck out in isolated Blaristown with that butch hair style and white fisherman's sweater, Mrs. Voorhees has never set a single foot near Lord and Taylor in her life! Let alone Neiman Marcus!

No wonder the woman is enraged--a grief stricken loss of child and no access to proper fashions. If she could just have had a therapist and a makeover none of this would have happened. But aren't we glad it did? How about nubile Annie getting her head chopped off in the woods? Or Marcie being axed in her panties after doing a bad impersonation of Katherine Hepburn in "The Rainmaker?" Why can't some men be murdered in their panties??? I cry out sex discrimination!

But there is no discriminating Mrs. Voorhees as one of filmdom's great icons. Wouldn't it fabuouls and informative to have coffee with her and Mary Jo Buttafucco???? We could all talk about hacking up that rotten little slut, Amy Fishuh--a prostiture and a lyuh, lyuh, lyuh!

Makes me long for a machete, girls! Or at least a Manhattan!!!! So cozy up to your TV set on these cold autumnal nights with "Friday The 13th" and pay homage to Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Voorhees!!!!!!

And give that woman a Prada purse!