Darlings, You Won't Believe What I Need!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, you have heard ad nauseum on here about how I need a husband. Not that that will not stop until I walk down the aisle, BUT, after seeing "The September Issue" with the bitch we all love, Anna Wintour, it occured to me that what I need is a Personal Assistant.

Darlings, my mornings are jam packed. I need someone to take my phone calls, draw my shower, answer the door, make the coffee so that when I enter the kitchen each morning it is handed to me hot, so I can curl my legs on the divan and sip, like Carol Lawrence for General Foods International Coffee, and contemplate the day ahead. Then I want someone to call for car service, which will pick me up and drive me to the office, with a stop at Starbucks along the way.
And of course the car has to wait for me after the office, whether I am going to the Center, the theater, movies, bookstores, after which it will take me home and I will have someone to help wind down this day and get me ready for bed. I mean, maybe with all this, I could do without a husband. For awhile, at least!

So, honeys, if any of you out there want this job, apply here. Your benefit is working for someone as FABULOUS as I, knowing you are servicing humanity by helping one of the most celebrated people in this city we call New York!!!! I will be interviewing as soon as I can.

Another thing to be said, is I have had it with people taking over the subway. I mean, no one has respect for space. There are I am sandwiched between a man listening to his own sounds and this bitch, who couldn't move, but crowded me in deliberately, hoping they would push me out of the seat and have more space for themselves. I saw those bitches across the way, staring at me, and you can believe, darlings, this bitch glared right back. I guess that will teach them. But these space hogs have got to get off my train and outta my city before I take some kind of action against them by psychologically annilihating them with my mouth. Which explains why I need a husband. Or at least a personal asssitance.

So, girls, get those resumes in right away. Background and breeding are most important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!