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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Girls, Let Me Tell You Of The Nasty Price Of Being A Celebrity!!!!!!!!!!!



As my girls know, being the Raving Queen is not necessarily easy. Sure, it gets me about here and there, seen at some of the city's hottest spots, with the likes of Monsieur, Robyn Bird, Gisele and Leo, etc. but there is another side to all this fast paced action--one of emotional exhaustion, darlings, that comes, first from running about, and then from rival queens, bitches who think nothing of casting about the most scurrilous rumors in order to smear MY unblemished reputation.

Last night, while talking with Monsieur, I was informed, that one of the rumors now surfacing is that the other evening-- Sunday, January 9, which, by the way, happened to be Joan Baez' 70th birthday-- I was seen at an establishment known as the Olive Garden!!!!!!!!!

Now, I will admit to a familiarity with the Olive Garden. After all, the damn things are everywhere!!!! And I will come clean and say six years ago this April, when we convened in Florida for my father's 90th birthday, the food was catered from there!!!!! But, remember, I was at a social event over which I exerted very little control, the important thing that day was acknowledging the milestone of my father turning 90, and in Florida, one's culinary, not to mention, intellectual, choices, are far from vast. In this state, the palette goes dry, and the brain cells die very quickly. This is in exchange for warm weather that many as they get older think is going to be beneficial, but in some cases only leads to skin cancer and an untimely grave, feeding into the frenzy of the Medical industry down there, who make a fortune living off those living out their days in what has come to be known as God's Waiting Room!!!!!!!!

No Florida for me, honey!!!!!!!!!!!

But let us get back to New York. Do any of MY girls think that in such a place as this I--the Raving Queen--would be seen in a place as Distinctly Middle Class as the Olive Garden. If I remember correctly, the food is so generic, you might as well go the supermarket, buy some Stouffer's, and heat it up!!!! Hell, it is cheaper, you know what is coming out of your oven, and you can make your own salad and wine, and have a cheaper meal, with a higher class clientele--yourselves, girls!!!--then you would in this lowbrow establishment. Certainly not as lowdown as that cheap White Rose that still exists in Goat Alley, but one patronized by suburban rubes, who think processed Italian cuisine is the height of sophistication!!!!! For a clientele nurtured on Cheez Whiz, I suppose it is, but when, darlings, like me, you have dined at Lutece, the Commander's Palace, and Bice, among other, who are we kidding????????

So I am warning all my girls to disregard any nonsense they may have heard, or continue to hear, about frequenting the Olive Garden in New York!!!!!!!! Hell would have to freeze over before that would happen!!!!!!!!!!

And even though Winter so far has been rough, it hasn't!!!!!!!!!!!!

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