May Hold The Attention, But A Classic It Isn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Last week, girls, through connections, we got cheap tickets to see the musical "Hell's Kitchen," and I was curious about this musical which was the foregone conclusive nominee to win the TONY Award.  Yet it did not.  With gasps through the audience, the winner was announced as......"The Outsiders."  Through my TV I could hear gasps in the audience.  So, I was curious to see "Hell's Kitchen."  Now, I confess, I am curious to see "The Outsiders."  But, really, can they be so dissimilar????????

                                         When I think of the great youth musicals centered around NYC I think of "West Side Story," "HAIR," and Elizabeth Swados' masterpiece, "Runaways."  These shows not only had grit, but cohesive scores holding the books together, and the music was so compelling it could be listened to again and again.  And still is.

                                           Now, far be it from me to question Alicia Keyes' talent.  I love when she covers her own songs.  But shoehorning them into the fabric of the book is not how to write a book musical.  Sure, I loved the finale, which, of course, was "Empire State Of Mind."  But what has that to do with all having gone before?

                                            One thing more I have to say before launching into the performers.  What is all this about Manhattan Plaza being some kind of slum?  I knew about it as soon as my little feet hit the pavement of this city for the first time as a resident.  In fact, back in 1993, I was in the apartment of composer Al Carmines, while I was rehearsing his oratorio "Christmas Rappings," which I performed in 1993.  Let me assure you these apartments are not slums, and I would still kill to get into one of them.  But face it, even if I had placed myself on the waiting list in 1993, I would still be waiting.

                                               Who is this book writer Krisoffer Diaz?  He has written a too ordinary story of teenage angst, especially when one has an artistic child.  I should know.  I too was an artistic child, and while I put my parents through a lot, it was nothing compared to what Maleah Joi Moon as Allie puts her mother, Jersey, played by Shoshana Bean, through. The saying goes that the worse thing than being a kid going through puberty is being the parent of a kid going through puberty.  I can attest only to the first, but the story concocted here is as old as Sophocles, and with a lackluster score, who cares?

                                                 The role of Allie is the kind of role that, in better musical hands would have made Maleah Joi Moon a Broadway star, just like when Melba Moore sang "I Got Love," in "Purlie," back in 1970.  But no song in "Hell's Kitchen" matches that.  Shoshan Bean has a great voice as does the rest of the company, but it is all for naught.

                                                   The staging is ablaze with light that I feared would trigger my seizure disorder, while the dancing is repetitive, and Camille A. Brown's choreography is just too frenetic, lacking the poetry of her dance influencers, Jerome Robbins and Michael Bennett, whose influences can be seen throughout the musical.  But they worked with good composers who gave them scores they could work with.  And Michael Greif directed this, still living off his post quarter of a century glory of "Rent."  Give it up, Michael.

                                                    If it were still running, I would tell you readers if you wanted to see a musical that is edgy yet groundbreaking, run to "Illinoise," by the great Justin Peck.  Alas, "Hell's Kitchen" is still running, while "Illinoise" closed, and that is a sad commentary on today's culture.

                                                   And loud????????????  I had a headache coming out of the theater.  The last time that happened with me was in 1993, with "The Who's Tommy."  But that was a worthwhile evening as the music was better.

                                                    Honestly, girls, musical theater is at the point where it needs to find a new direction if it is going to draw audiences of all generations.  Reconstitution is not the answer; innovation has always been.

                                                        I wanted to inform you, girls. But, really, my review of "Hell's Kitchen" could be summed up in two words.

                                                         Skip it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!