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This is not intended to be a Puddles Pity Party, darlings, but it does bear worth mentioning. I have had to deal with this throughout my adult life during the Holidays, but for whatever reason it seems to have culminated this year,
When I was young, and everyone in my family was still alive, I was one of 19 grandchildren. With time, two have passed on, so now the total is down to seventeen.. Meaning, excluding me, for a second, I have eleven cousins. With the exception of one of those cousins, to whom I am eternally grateful, as he sends cards and we talk regularly, everyone acts like I don't exist. I mean, I know they are out there, and they know I am, too, but do I ever get a card, invitation or any form of familial acknowledgement? Why, after my father died, was I excluded from this family???????????
I am so lucky to have my David and thank every day for him. Some may ask, if the cousins in question are so uncaring, why would I want to go near them? Well, when I was growing up, especially in three cases, we were very close, almost like siblings. Which continued into adolescence, though my differences began to show, and they were the types who fit in more. By our twenties, we were going in all sorts of directions geographically and making paths for ourselves.
This is fine. What hurts is I know the others keep in touch with each other, but not with me. Why? Because I am gay, married, and live in New York? Why do I feel betrayed, and what can I do about it?
What I can do is concentrate on my talents--like writing, singing, and reading books, setting goals for 100 a year. I won't make it this year, but I am all right by that.
Someday I would like an apology from these cousins for ignoring me. I even reached out to one this season, wishing she and her siblings a Merry Christmas, etc.. Have I had a response? No. Nor do I expect to. Why?
So many have said it is not my fault. This hurt will pass, but in the meantime, as long as I am ignored, I will ignore them.
Have any of you out there felt this way? If so, let me know!
Hey, cousins, the loss is yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 comments:
I am in a family that has almost too much communication... so it's the opposite, but if in your shoes, I would do the same. Im like that with friends who act like that. My answer is to drop them like hot potatoes. I wouldn't wste my energy.
Mistress Maddie, Like the song in "MAME" says--"If you need New Years to bubble, then order a double, and wait." I intend to do just that tomorrow. I appreciate your supportive comments. Here is something interesting--one of said cousins lives near you. I thought she was in Doylestown too, because I have been in said town many times, but her address actually says Furlong, and she lives on Saddle something Drive. It stands out because the house is at the bottom of a very steep hill. Let her dig herself out! Once again, thanks! Here is to a better 2025!
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