Let Me Tell You, Girls, Generations From Now, No One Will Be Reading Justin Bieber's Diary!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Poor Anne Frank!  She simply cannot get a break!  Elevated by tragic circumstance through no fault of her own, to Poster Child For The Holocaust, dramatized on both stage and screen, written about incessantly, like Marilyn Monroe and others, no one will let the poor thing rest in peace!!!!!!!!!

                                      And now along comes Justin Bieber!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       It seems Justin was in Amsterdam recently--whooping it up in its famed red light
district, no doubt, trying to figure out his sexual orientation-- when he took a detour and paid a visit to the Anne Frank Home and Museum.  Nothing wrong with that.

                                         Instead of coming out of the experience, as I am sure many are--and I know I would be, darlings!!!!!!!!!--profoundly moved, he salutes Anne by saying that, were she alive, she would have been a fan of his!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            There is so much wrong with that statement. First, if Anne were still here, she would be close to 94!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't think she would have had much time for television!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               But, more important, I would credit Anne with having more sophisticated taste, which would automatically eliminate Justin Bieber.  Too bad Meep is not still around, because I would personally love to see her bitch slap Justin, but good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Hey,  Justin, I got news--not everyone out there is a fan of yours. Me, darlings, I could care less.  It's not all about you, Justin, and when your reign as Flavor Of The Month ends,
you will discover how many fans you actually have, and how fleeting FAME is.

                                                     Just ask Lea Michele!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





                 

Another Feast Day Of Saint Bernadette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Aside from this being the day, I am sure, darlings, that a lot of accountants across the country begin a much deserved and needed vacation, today is also the Feast Day of Saint Bernadette Soubirous.  I am talking about the real thing, girls, not the performance given by Jennifer Jones in the 1943 movie!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Saint Bernadette died on this day, in 1879, at the age of 35.  She was finally canonized as a saint in 1933, and this date was designated to be her feast day.

                                    So, Happy Feast Day Of Saint Bernadette to all my girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     How to celebrate it?  Watching the Jennifer Jones movie??????  Eating an omelet??????  Well, those are two good options.  Another is to go about the day exercising the example Saint Bernadette set for us--of patience, tolerance and understanding, which, in this town, honey, can sometimes be in very short supply.

                                       I am certain Saint Bernadette is watching over the victims in Boston, and their families!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        The best way to celebrate her feast day is to do an act of humanitarianism, as she would!!!!!!!!  It might not make you into Bernadette, darlings--who? me? hell, no!!!!!!!--but it will bring you closer to understanding who Bernadette was, and what she did for all while on Earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Go, Bernie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess This Game Will Not Be On The Market Anymore, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Only I--only I, darlings!!!!!!!!--would think of the Milton Bradley game, "Time Bomb," the morning after the Boston Marathon explosions!!!!!!!!!!   What does this say about me??????  Am I sick?????????  Should I check myself into Bellevue????????  And how many people would I ending up knowing, who are there, already????????????

                                              So many of the Milton Bradley games of my childhood are still out there, but I  realized, this morning, "Time Bomb" is not one of them, and for good reason.  With all the terrorist talk of the past decade or more, something promoting what causes it is hardly suitable for children.  To think at one time it was.

                                                 The game was deceptively simple.  Inside the yellow box was a hard, black
plastic ball, with the "Time Bomb" logo on the front!  The detonator atop the mechanism was cranked, like a clock, and began to tick, more like a kitchen timer than a bomb!!!!!!!!!!!  A group of people would toss the
bomb among themselves, catching it in hand, and the one holding it when it went off, would be out of the game.  The one who is left, of course wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    The explosion sound was anti-climactic, more like a mousetrap slamming shut, than the end of "Dr. Stangelove."  It was a bit disappointing to those of us, like myself, who wanted REAL bomb sounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But that is just ME, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Another likely reason this game is off the market is because--even before the whole terrorist thing--this was a dangerous object.  The plastic ball was large, solid and hard; anyone hit in the head with this would face serious injury.  And I am sure there were swarms of kids who would get nasty and throw their "Time Bombs" at each other.  How many concussions did this toy produce?????????

                                                        You know I never threw my "Time Bomb" at anyone, dears!!!!!!  Not that I did not think about it!!!!!!!!!!   But even I could recognize the heft of this thing; I would not want it hitting me, so I was not about to hit anyone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         What a carefree, innocent time, girls!!!!!!  When we had toys replicating bombs and crime fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            No wonder I simply ADORED the Debbie Reynolds Dress Designer Kit, from Colorforms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, Here Is A Career Option For Retirement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 That word, "retirement," gets to be more and more elusive, girls, not only in the fact of this economy, which means lots of us will have to work longer than our parents did, but also the prospect of keeping it together, both financially and mentally, once the bullet has been bitten, and the workplace door has been slammed in your face!!!!!!!!!  We may all sing "Take This Job, And Shove It," but when push comes to shove, how many of us are truly ready to embrace the idea??????????

                                    One idea I have had for years is becoming a Tarot Card reader.  Many years ago, in my youth, I owned a deck; when I moved, I gave them to a friend, whom, I am sure, still has them, and it would be de trope of me to ask for them back.  So, a new deck is something I have to search for.

                                      The idea of being a reader first came to me, seventeen years ago, during my first trip to New Orleans.  Enchanted with the Southern decadence of the Big Easy, when I first beheld Jackson Square, I had it all planned--I could move down here, live as cheaply as I could, and spend my days in the square, with nothing more than a card table and a deck of cards, telling people their fortunes.

                                        I already had, and could pick up, a basic understanding of the Major Arcana; now I would have to sit down, and study the minor, which corresponds to an ordinary deck of playing cards.
As for spreads and layouts, there are plenty of books out there,  There is even, I believe--yes, girls!!!!!!--"The Tarot For Dummies."  A career is born!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        However, after Katrina, the idea of residing in NOLA was put on hold!!!!!!!  But when I went back there, two years ago, the thought bubbled in my head again.  Not so much moving South, but taking up Tarot Card Reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          The artistic detail of the cards always attracted me.  And, of course, I would need a costume to go with it.  My choice would be a flowing purple wizard robe, with moons and stars all over it.  Another reason New Orleans would be precluded--I would die from heat prostration in such an out fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  However girls, one's outfit is only as good as one's readings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             So, here I am, contemplating--but only contemplating--retirement, and switching careers.  Like the song says, "You Gotta Get A Gimmick."

                                                And this way, girls, my sacro would be intact, as it would not be sacrificed to working in the back row!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Was NO Boston Tea Party, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Sometimes, but not often, I am the last to know!  Yesterday, at 4PM, I was headed out of my workplace, intent on a cup of java, which I desperately need at said time each day to get me through that 5PM hump!!!!!!!   On my way out, I heard people muttering about something that had "happened in Boston."  Intent on coffee, I did not pay it much heed. But, when I returned, I discovered the horror of the explosions at yesterday's Boston Marathon.

                                      Immediately, my thoughts and prayers went out to the people of Boston and their families, especially those directly effected by this event.  And, being the New York savvy that I am, and having lived through the horror of 9/11, my next thought was, "Oh, God!  What does it mean for this town?"

                                        I can tell you, riding on the subway last night and this morning, book or no book in hand, was an apprehensive experience.  I could not get over how crowded the trains were this morning; I thought some,  in terror, might remain at home.  Are New Yorkers foolish, uncaring, or are they just trying to prove their resiliency?????  Which may be nice, but I have to ask myself, at the expense of what, or whom????

                                         One thing I can tell you, girls!!!!!!!!!!  This was no professional job!  Otherwise, the bombs which did not detonate would have, and it would have been much worse!  I am convinced this was done from the inside.   Someone (and by that, I mean more than one person) was able to blend themselves into the fabric of personnel associated with the marathon event, because, honestly, girls, how else would they have had the time or opportunity to set up what they did????????????

                                            Heaven help the poor Arabs and Muslims of Boston and elsewhere!!!!!!  You just know this is going to come down heavily on their heads, even though I am certain they did not have anything to do with this.  Again, what havoc will these wreak among the Arab and Muslim communities in New York City, and the wacko hatemongers, who are just looking for anything to have a go at them--and this gives them a prime motivator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Once upon a time, shows were tried out in Boston, before hitting Broadway.  The phrase "banned in Boston" used to apply to theater!!!!!!!!!!!!  It shouldn't have to apply to those now afraid to live there or visit!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               The only thing that REALLY should explode in Boston, darlings, are people's intestinal tracts, after eating its world famous baked beans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Toot, toot, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   

Either This Will Become The Most Famous Gym In Town, Or It Will Go Under Real Fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Poor Hugh Jackman, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  All he wanted to do was get a little exercise.  Instead, he got propositioned by a nut job who did not have the decency to be as attractive as either Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction," or Jessica Walter in "Play Misty For Me!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                    Kathleen Thurston is certainly no Blythe Danner, which is no excuse, darlings, why she could not, at least, run a comb through that hair!!!!!!!!  Nothing wrong with Kathleen being hot for Hugh--plenty of girls, AND boys, in this town, are-- but, honey, the way you look, forget about trying to land anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      If what you are thinking right now is--she looks like she just walked out of a homeless shelter--you are right!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       One might feel a bit sorry for Kathleen, if only she had not gone in to the Gotham Gym, in the Village, this past Saturday morning, disrupting not only Hugh and everyone else there, with loud romantic proclamations, but then removing an electric razor--said to be filled with pubic hair!!!!!!--and thrown it at Hugh Jackman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         I am telling you, girls, a person isn't safe anymore!  It is tough in this town, being a celebrity!  Believe me, I know!  Which is why, when I, the Raving Queen is not required to dress in designer digs, I travel very incognito!!!!!!!!!  I am so under the radar, darlings, you do not even know how much I am among  you!!!!!!!!!

                                                           Which is one way I gather topics to write about!!!!!!!!

                                                            But that is my excuse.  And I do not go around stalking people, though, I have to admit, if I were to pass Meryl Streep on the street, I would, out of respect, have to proselytize myself before her!!!!!!!!!!!!  I will cross that bridge, when I come to it!!!!!!!!!

                                                             I guess now Hugh Jackman will have to get membership at another gym!!!!!!!!  As for Gotham, where this happened, for them, this could either be a gold mine, or a bust!!!!!!!  Only time will tell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                               Will this be the last we have seen of Kathleen Thurston????????
Looking the way she does, I certainly hope so!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                   But you know how these things go, darlings!!!!!!!  Mark my words--

                                                                      Before she is through, she will get a makeover, and have her own reality show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                      Only in America, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Get Such Sadistic Pleasure Out Of This, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Today is what most of us who are adults--and even who are not--know as Income Tax Day. I am all safely tucked and filed away, not having to think about any of this nonsense again, until next January 1, which, the way my life goes these days, will be here all too soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I should not laugh  at the countless who may be sweating bullets right now. The ones who amaze me even more are those who don't a damn thing, and do not give it a second thought.  Even after years.  Like Grandpa in "You Can't Take It With You!"

                                        But it is not today, specifically, I get a kick out of, but the news footage that is always shown on television, yesterday--depicting overcrowded lines at the post office, some folk  down on the floor on their knees, filling out forms right there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That is when I throw back my head, and laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I hope never to be caught like that on film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Tomorrow is probably the starting date for vacation for countless accountants across the country.  I wish them well.  Meanwhile, we have made it through another tax season; it is all behind  us now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Which leaves time for more important things to think about like--What the hell am I going to wear to the reunion???????????????????????