Darlings, Protect Me From Predatory Lesbians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, girls, don't worry, I have NOt been hit on by a lesbian. After all, my male appendage guarantees I won't, and I would not go there, anyway. I am talking about what happened yesterday afternoon at Manatu's in the Village before I attended my Dignity service.

There I was, lambs, seated, eating a sandwich and drinking a coke, and the place was packed. The front doors were open to let in air because it was warm. Near the front doors, off to my right, sat a trio of women who clearly were the sort you would find hanging out in front of Henrietta's on Saturday night, and sweethearts, let me tell you, if you are in any way male, you do not dare cross that line, because dead men certainly don't tell no tales.

It was a quiet, peaceful Sunday afternoon at Mantus, when the serenity was suddenly shattered--so suddenly it took us all aback, and we were too stunned to react--when the woman with her back to the door, stood up abruptly, scraping her chair loudly enough for all to hear, then throwing an object--a knife or fork I think, which, considering how packed the place is, could have resulted in disaster and danger for someone--and screaming out, "I am walking out." The women seated across from her, to whom she vented this wrath, screamed back at her, "I hope you drink yourself to death!" To which the woman standing answered, while groping her crotch like a man, and let me tell you, darlings, I THOUGHT I saw a bulge theere, and replied, "I hope you grope yourself to death!" Then she stormed off furiously, with one of the waiters chasing after her, screaming, "You crazy lesbian bitch!!!!!!!!" The woman seated next to the first woman, declared, "I am walking out!" got up, and left. Simply but firmly. I felt bad for the woman left, I thought she was going to cry. She did not, and somehow pulled herself together, went on with the rest of her meal, then got up, paid, and walked out of there with some kind of dignity.

Now, I do not know what transpired between them, lambs, to provoke this, but I am telling you--a bunch of gay men would NOT throw an object across a roomful of people, endangering anyone. We would yell "Bitch!" and flounce out of there as fast as our hips could wiggle, like Scarlett in GWTW, which is less dangerous than what these women did. I firmly believe there is a place for lesbians in our society--after all, we are all God's creatures, darlings--but with something like this, I begin to think that that place is the island of Lesbos. Or at least Staten Island!

It is not enough we have to worry about gay bashing, now we have to worry abut violent lesbinas. When I lived in Brookln, there was a pair who left two doors away--real diesels, let me tell you!--and every so often I would be reading in my bedroom, and the walls would shake, and I would hear "Where the hell is my birthday card? Gimme my goddamn birthday card!" What I did not know, working all day and not being home much, was that this behavior went on pretty regularly, so much so that the other tenants called for their evicition. And when they went, they wrote, in red lipstick, all kinds of obscenities on the mirrors and walls.

So Frank Marcus pretty much had it dead to rights when he wrote "The Killing of Sister George." I would like to see this trio from yesterday "Moo-ing" in front of a TV camera. The gay couple near them were so terrified, they got up and left.
As well they should. I am calling for Gay Man Protection Agst Lesbians! And if it happens again, I will go to the Anit-Violence project.

This is what my weekend was like, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!