This Year's May Was A Strange Month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I mean, look at the only picture I could find to say farewell to this month in 2014.  A bunch of stones?  It looks like the villagers getting ready for Shirley Jackson's "Lottery!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                This May was a strange month.  Its warm days were few and far between, while many days were colder than I like it to be this time of year.  Still, there were some highlights--the celebration of a 4 year anniversary between my beloved and myself, a visit to see "Casa Valentina," with friends Linda and Marilyn, a Memorial Day visit to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, not to mention a joint visit--in one day--to "Godzilla" and "Sweeney Todd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  And, with the weather gradually warming up, there are more sightings of our beloved Cujo, out on his terrace.  But something is up with Lola and Stinky, down the street; I am telling you,. that Lola is pissed, and taking it out on everyone!!!!!!!!  Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Guess May was not as uneventful as I thought.  And with June creeping up on us--already???--the events will be coming, right and left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     See you next month, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every Neighborhood Should Have Its Own Black Drag Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Girls, I am telling you, you will not believe what Monsieur and I, both on our days off, saw on our neighborhood enclave of 5th Avenue, in our beloved Bay Ridge!!!!!!!!!

                            Just as we were nearing the street, from Bay Ridge Parkway,  (aka 75th Street) we saw in front of us, this number in a blue halter top, pink slit dress, and platform high heels, and I am telling you, she was working it!!!!!!!!!  She was doing her best to resurrect the era of the Eighties, with her being Donna Summer. An era I remember very well, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            From behind, she looked like a woman, which is what we both thought.  I am telling you, her waist was thinner than Vampira's when she was in her 50's prime. The legs were so skeletal, as well as the arms, I don't know how she could have stood on her feet, much less walked in those shoes.

                            As we got up closer to her, and noticed her rather broad--but not too--shoulders, we could see this was a guy in drag.  Who was doing his own club act on the street, singing aloud, hollering, what ever it took.  This was no flagrant prostitute, this was a girl on a mission for a gig. And neither of us would have thought of disturbing that mission, because, before we knew it, out would come the knife! Believe me, I know!  This Petunia is no pansy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             What was sad, was, as we glanced at her outfit, we could see it was a bit tattered and dirty. Not the thing to do if you want to start a career.  A legitimate one, that is.

                                Maybe this explains why, last night, I went to sleep and had a dream about "Rosemary's Baby..." where I was Rosemary!  I was getting sick to my stomach.  The dream taught me pregnancy, no matter what you're carrying, is a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Imagine my shock this morning when Monsieur, as we were dressing for work, said he has seen this character before, and thinks he/she lives in our neighborhood.  It is amazing how Bay Ridge has changed!  When I first walked these streets, late in 1983, this gal would not have lasted alive on the street for 15 minutes.

                                     It's great having a Black drag queen in the neighborhood, but she needs to take some freshening up tips from Wesley Snipes as Noxzema Jackson!!!!!!!!!!!  At least change those panty hose, honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

             

There Is No Excuse--If You Are Gay, You Have GOT To See "Maleficent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                             Yes, darlings, it is true; I wanted Meryl Streep to play the part, but the word on the street is that Angelina is fabulous; this might be her best turn since Lisa Rowe, in 1999's "Girl, Interrupted!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                But, really, being gay, how can you afford not to see this film?  After all, Maleficent has been an early Bitch Of The Week on here, because she is one bitch we all love, and is, as I have repeatedly said, the evil fairy that every gay man thinks he is, or wants to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  In this version, Maleficent is betrayed by the one she loves, and before you can say "Fatal Attraction," she is sporting that costume, horns, rod, and raven!  How many of you, darlings, have been betrayed, and would like to be empowered, like Maleficent???????????  Not to mention being able to turn into the most magnificent dragon ever,  if you have seen the 1959 animated "Sleeping Beauty!!!!!!!!!"  Will Maleficent do that, here???????  Only seeing the movie can answer the question.

                                  I have always had a thing for witches.  In my early years of viewing "The Wizard Of Oz," the Witch was my favorite character.  I was a Witch for Halloween, in kindergarten.  One of my earliest favorite children's books was called "The Littlest Witch!!!!!!"  And when I finally saw Disney's "Sleeping Beauty," well, there was no question--I wanted to be Maleficent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    The name rhymes with "magnificent," and is a riff on "malevolent!"

                                     Wouldn't it be simply fabulous, to have tea with her, at the St. Regis, darlings?????????

                                        Think what could be learnt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Unexpected Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         After all this time, it all comes back to Roberta!!!!!!!!!!!  Back in Eighth Grade English, with Mrs. Debra Clifford--who was quite a character; she was Miss Debra Solomon, the year before we became eighth graders--we were discussing books recently read, and Roberta mentioned "A Stone For Danny Fisher."  Well, of course, darlings, I knew right then and there, I had to read it; I did not know it would take me about 45 years, until I did.

                                           When we were in eighth grade, Harold Robbins was considered, certainly by my parents as "dirty;" there were  no copies of "The Carpetbaggers" in our house, (which I finally read about ten years ago!!!!!) and even though, later that year, I would go on to read "Valley Of The Dolls," and "Peyton Place," which would both change my life forever, I kind of forgot about Harold Robbins.  And as he aged, when he started writing crap like "The Betsy," (which I am embarrassed now to say I have read) he was one step up from hard core porn.

                                             So, it was a big surprise, when, on a recent dental visit,  I passed a used book vendor, and came across, wrapped, the above edition of "A Stone For Danny Fisher."  While I am sure it was daring for its time--it was first published in 1952, and it spans the years 1932 through 1944--it was better than I thought; sort of a third rate version of Henry Roth's "Call It Sleep" (which I still have to read), but full of mysticism and philosophy.  The final revelation of the book, when you are forced to think back on all having gone before, absolutely knocked me for a loop!  I should have seen it coming with the title, but then I was not raised in the Jewish faith.

                                               The early Harold Robbins is very hard to find.  But if you are fortunate enough to, I do recommend "A Stone For Danny Fisher."  It is not Chaim Potok, but it is evocative both of the era in which it was first published, and the time its story takes place.

                                                  Who would have thought Robbins had it in him to be even this literary???????  Too bad he sold out; he lacked the campiness of Jacqueline Susann, so his forays into that market never succeeded with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       And, remember, girls--Travilla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Bitch Would Never Make Mother Of The Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The actress pictured is Laura Leighton.  It is one of her characters, Lillian Rice, whom she played in the 2007 'SVU' episode "Responsible," which deals with underage teen drinking, and features one of my favorite characters, Becca Rice, Lillian's daughter, played by Sarah Drew in a performance that should have netted her an Emmy, that is the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          What makes Lillian a bitch?  So many things! When she catches Becca drinking at 12, instead of banning alcohol from her, she allows her to drink with her--as long as she does not hide it.  That is how it starts, but then as Becca gets older she is always seen, as many teens are, with a water cooler, only hers is lemonade chased with vodka. Nice, huh????????

                                              Lillian is embittered. She had Becca when she was Becca's age, then her husband walked out on her, with his secretary. I guess she gets by, in addition to working, on alimony and child support, because their New York digs are very nice.

                                                 But Becca is troubled. At ten, she was thrown out of a private school for stealing at a bake sale, then accusing another student, who later was exonerated.  At her current school, Becca is bright, but lonely, with no friends, so Lillian, to gain her daughter popularity, becomes one of those "cool Moms," (the most dangerous kind) who allows her daughter to drink, and supplies her classmates with liquor which she can get for them.  Except it doesn't make Becca popular; she doesn't go to any of these parties.  It just makes her get used more!  What a bitch this mother is!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Add to this that Mrs. Rice has never gotten over being the hottest thing in town, and so develops into a sort of "Mrs. Robinson," who sleeps with Becca's male classmates. In fact, Becca catches her mother and Jordan (Hunter Parrish) in bed, and when her classmates, hauled into court, blame her, and call her mother a slut, Becca stands up for her.  Sadly, she says to Olivia, "she's my best friend."

                                                      This child needs help. Becca is placed in rehab clinic, where she is sober for the first time in years, and feels strange.  Lillian, at least has some remorse, when she is shown in court the damage alcohol has done to her daughter, certain to shorten her life span.  Lillian is hauled off to the slammer for five years.  Poor Becca, still a minor, faces Child Services.  Grim.

                                                       All because of a scheming, manipulative bitch of a mother!  There is no excuse for scum like this!  Keep her away from Becca, once she is released. If Becca is smart, she will do the same!

                                                        Sometimes, estrangement can be healing, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Part Of The Gay Litmus Test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         I just cannot stop thinking of those poor, misguided men in "Casa Valentina."  This was years before a Litmus test was developed to determine who is gay and not.  For decades, the central one, has been, "Who played Georgia James in the film version of "Funny Girl?"

The answer , of course is Anne Francis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, take a look at the top photo.  All my girls, I am sure, know that that is Jane Russell, from the classic number, in Howard Hawks' 1953 film, "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes," called "Is There Anyone Here For Love?"  Try and tear your eyes away from the boys,  and gaze at Jane Russell!!!!!!!!!!  Do you know

who designed the dress she is wearing??????????

Are you ready, darlings!!!!!!!!  Travilla!  And any gay worth being called such knows that what he is famous for, are his costumes in "Valley Of The Dolls!"  Hence, the next part of the Gay Litmus Test!!!!!!

Who designed the costumes in "Valley Of The Dolls??????"

The answer: Travilla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, just look at these stunning creations!!!!!!!! How can anyone not know of these, or Travilla, and call themselves gay?  Honestly, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How I would love to have one of those Travilla 'Valley' gowns designed exclusively for me!!!!!!!!

If it happens, I will let you know, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, Here Is A Career Alternative, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    The idea came to me, while shaving this morning--I won't say what I was shaving, darlings!!!!!!-- and thinking about the Mattel Lie Detector toy I had as a child. There were these cards with all sorts of suspicious characters, and one of them said,  Cigarette Girl.  And, of course, I grew up with Edie Adams and the Muriel Cigar commercials!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     So, it came to me that the perfect career, post retirement, or even for those of you who want a career change would be a cigarette girl in a nightclub.  It would suit this girl just fine!  You work a coupla hours, wearing a scanty outfit, clutching a cigarette tray around your shoulders, and then you walk up to the most eligible (richest, not necessarily good looking, though, if you are single, go for it!!!!!!!!!!) men in the joint and sell them....some cigarettes.

                                       Now, over the years, I have heard that some of these girls sold more than just cigarettes. I mean, a girl's gotta eat!!!!!!!!!!  Whatever my darlings decide to do, I make no judgement!  As for me, I will take tips, but there will be no hanky panky on MY shift, and definitely not after!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Still, it is an exciting career prospect.  Sell, char, drink coffee......and get paid for doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           What more could one ask for??????????????????????????

                     

Darlings, This Could Be One Of THE Events Of The Summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Girls, I have just recently gotten word that the Film Forum plans to hold its Horror And Sci-Fi Fest, later this Summer.  The schedule has not been posted, but. as the Raving Queen and a connoisseur of such screen fare, let me weigh in with what SHOULD be included on the roster.

                           It goes without saying that the 1954 "Gojira" should make a return appearance.

                           And, especially after the hellish presentation it was recently given on NBC, the same goes for Roman Polanski's "Rosemary's Baby."

                            But how about some stuff that hardly turns up?  I am sure we have to expect the annual presentation of either "The Tingler," or "House On Haunted Hill," but how about some of these gems--

                             1.  "The Crawling Eye"--Where a 1958 pre-"F Troop" Forrest Tucker plays it
                                    straight, and is upstaged by a gigantic, tentacled orb.

                              2.  "Who Slew Auntie Roo?"--With Shelley Winters and Mark Lester.
                                     Worth it just for the opening scene with Shelley in the red gown and
                                      tiara.

                               3.  "Happy Birthday To Me"--With a post 'Little House' Melissa Sue
                                     Anderson. It was supposed to jump start something, but never did
                                     for her. But it is one of the overlooked revenge slashers, and features
                                     real creativity in its murders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                4.  "When Worlds Collide"--George Pal's 1951 rendering of the Apocalypse.
                                        New York is seen drowning in this one, and who knows it might.  So,
                                         if Gotham goes, plus California, what does that leave us with?????
                                         The Mid West?  The South?  Oh, my God--a Republican nation!!!!!!!!!!

                                 5.   "Frankenstein's Daughter"--Now, "She Demons" is Richard Cunha's
                                        masterpiece. But, this little seen trasher features the ugliest female
                                        monster ever seen.  Actually, the make-up artist did not realize, almost
                                        until filming, that the monster was SUPPOSED to be female, so the
                                        creature from the laboratory looks like the first beans n' franks lesbian
                                        monster.  Then, there is also Sandra Knight, kin to Frankenstein, who
                                        takes some kind of serum and turns into what looks like a bad
                                        makeover that just emerged from a salon in Rego Park, Queens!!!!!!!!

                                   6.  "Blood Of Dracula"---Plenty of lesbian spoofs in this one; I bet
                                          the girls at this school are required to read :"The Well of
                                          Loneliness."   And where Sandra Harrison turns out to be more
                                          glamorous as the monster than herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     7.  "Theatre Of Blood"--Vincent Price, Diana Rigg,  and
                                           Shakespearean camp. What could be better????????

                                       8.  "The Seventh Victim"--Val Lewton's brilliant 1940's precursor
                                              to "Rosemary's Baby."  It would not have surprised me if
                                              Ira Levin had seen this film, prior to writing it. Also, Kim
                                              Hunter, pre-Stella, in her film debut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         9.  "The Deadly Mantis"--Darlings, you have to see this one!
                                                Craig Stevens and Company fighting a gigantic preying
                                                mantis, which is really a real one placed on a microscope
                                                slide and magnified for the camera. When it goes 'zzzzzz,"
                                                 I am sure it is some guy in the voice over department.
                                                 At least when "Tarantula" looked in on Mara Corday
                                                 undressing in the bedroom, you knew it had hormones!
                                                 "The Deadly Mantis" is famous for the most garish,
                                                   cluttered poster, with the tag slogan, "This Was The
                                                    Day That Shocked The World In Terror."  The big
                                                    shock, darlings, is the poster turns out to be better
                                                     than the movie.  Not to be missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       10.        "The Burning"--We love Betsy Palmer as Mrs.
                                                      Voorhees, girls, but she gets plenty of exposure.
                                                      Not so this 1981 summer camp slasher, featuring
                                                      Cropsy, who is great, and a cast of then up and
                                                      comers--Fisher Stevens, Holly Hunter, and Jason
                                                      Alexander!!!!!!!!!!  Bet if she were still alive,
                                                      Patrice Munsel would bring her Campfire Girls
                                                      to see this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  So, let's see how the Summer Lineup turns out!

Hope to see you all on the aisle, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"So, Miss Daniels, What Do You Think Of Our Little Hamlet? I Despise It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               Remember that charming exchange between Suzanne Pleshette and Tippi Hedren, in Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds?"  Those words kept passing through my head on Sunday, as I sat through Harvey Fierstein's latest theatrical offering, "Casa Valentina."

                                The play is staged and acted beautifully.  In fact, the artistry of its opening, one follow spot of light counter clockwise, centering on each character readying themselves for the party at hand, recalled, to me, at least, the theatrical artistry of "A Chorus Line."  I have always had a healthy respect for Joe Mantello's work, which is why the actor in me has always wanted to work with him. And he gets beautiful results from his cast.

                                The problem is Harvey Fierstein.  A playwright he is not.

                                 True, he showed some promise decades back, in the then groundbreaking "Torch Song Trilogy."  Over the years, he has sold himself out in a series of commercialized musical adaptations, but nothing there prepares one for the repugnance of what he has done here!

                                    What starts out promisingly--and I know some may attack me, and, yes, I recognize that it was set in the pre-gay rights era of 1962--degenerates into a compendium of cliches involving self-loathing, homophobia, and the exclusion of homosexuals who may want to dress up, themselves.  Listen, Harvey, you big, dumb thing, someone should have explained to you that, if one is going to be different, or write about such, allow them to have the courage of their convictions, and not cave in to the McCarthy-ite status quo, like your script seems to.  You think I buy this crap???????  Absolutely not!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And that goes for the characters in the show! If you want to be different, come up there, and cross dress, fine!  But don't anguish over homosexuality, your wife (maybe you shouldn't marry, darlings!!!!!) and this mush.  If you can't stand the political heat, get out of the kitchen! Or learn to say "fuck you!" Those two words from the lips of most of the people on stage would have saved a lot of anguish.

                                       
                                      Harvey, you do your entire cast an injustice.  And poor Lisa Emery must be playing the most thankless role on Broadway. The moment she starts spewing her filth, I am supposed to have compassion for this bitch??????????  Give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Give us all a break, Harvey, from your pandering to the mainstream.  I object, polemically speaking to "Casa Valentina."  I cannot endorse its message, which is fundamentally hypocritical.
If this had been written by, say Terrence McNally, it would have been a lot more insightful.

                                                 Hang it up, Harvey!

                                                  But kudos to  director, Joe Mantello, and cast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Special Occasion Holiday Wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         This is one of three days out of the year--the other two being July 4 and Labor Day--that I wear my Flash t-shirt.  The color goes with the holidays ' festivities, and this has been a tradition for over a decade.  Besides, it is a a sure way to make sure I get some wear out of this garment.

                                          If only, when I wore the Flash, I became the Flash!  But that could backfire!  Suppose some nut wore a Dr. Doom t-shirt--and became Dr. Doom!

                                          I mean, I am still pissed for not making the national Honor Society, which I blame on that deceased bitch, Mrs. Alice C. Santamarina!!!!!!!!!!!  But the Justice League??????????
No way!  I'm just some grade A bitch queen, who wants to smack some people across the face!  How can I be a super-hero, worthy of the Justice League???????????????????

                                            So, instead, today, I will feel like one!

                                             The Flash always had the best costume, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Talk About Elliot Rodger!

                                Elliot Rodger couldn't get laid!!!!!!!!!!!  SO WHAT????????????  You don't kill people for it!

                                So much bothers me about this situation.  Let's start with the media continually referring to him as "a child."  He is 22 years old, living on his own, with roommates, which is what most do in their twenties, so he was well beyond the trajectory of childhood.

                                That he had Asperger's Syndrome was stressed, as if this was reason for his actions.  Well, lambs, plenty of folk suffer from this--I know some--but they do not kill people!

                                 Clearly, he was enraged.  And maybe he had a right to that rage!  But, that he crossed the line of fantasy and acted on a murderous spree speaks of deeper mental disorders that, for all his parents' so-called awareness, seemed to escape both them, and the police.

                                    Not to mention our so-called ridiculous gun laws, which says as long as you have not been institutionalized, you can buy a gun!  Great!  So, undetected crazies walking around can buy and use firearms!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       And look what happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I feel for the victims and their families, as well as for Elliot and his!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Once again, why didn't someone see something, say something, do something????????

                                         Just take a look at this video!  Sure, many of us can relate to his issues!!!!!!!!
But none of us, certainly not I, did not go out and murder people!!!!!!  Nor even contemplated it!

                                          I am not a mental health professional, but I can see within this is a deeply disturbed individual.  And if the professionals can't, or were unable to, before that, they share the blame.  And if they were not able to spot and deal with trouble, it speaks of a concern about concerns of competency for those currently practicing in the mental health community!

                                             Think about it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Memorial Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Are you ready, girls???????????  Are you ready??????????????????

                             The next 80-plus days of the year are magical.  So, kick off the day with a picnic celebration!!!!  We actually had one last night, and today we are headed to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens for beauty and merriment!  Yes, it is Memorial Day!

                                 Even Gojira will get into the act!  He loves the Japanese Gardens, of course!  He  likes to dip his feet in the pool, and cool off!

                                  So, have a Happy Memorial Day, girls!  It is just the beginning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

               

Girls, It Is A Bigger Hoot Than "Six Degrees Of Separation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                   Oh, my God, darlings, you  have got to see this forgotten gem of an episode on "Law And Order: Criminal Intent."  "Six Degrees Of Separation " was brought down by its masquerading as High Art, when it was really Trash; there is no such chance with "Privilege," which would not be mistaken for anything but Trash!  And because of that, it is more convincing and fun.  It also offers actor Richard Kind a chance to venture outside his acting comfort zone, and he is pretty hilarious!

                  This is almost as big a hoot as "The Little Foxes."  I am sure Lillian Hellman would have approved of this one.

                     The upper crust New York Society family being torn apart are the Harringtons.  Very Upper East Side, dolls.  Eighteen years before the story takes place, Virginia Harrington's daughter, Libbie, was murdered.  Libbie had a daughter, Isabel, who was then taken in, and raised by Grandma Harrington, played superbly by Doris Roberts.

                       But Granny has a checkered past.  Before she married Harrington, she was married to a Mr. Foley, by whom she had a son, named Ernest.  He grows up to be one of the biggest losers of all time.  This is the role played by Mr. Kind, and he is terrific.  Just wait.

                         By Mr. Harrington, Virginia has a handsome son named Grant.  But he turns out to be nothing but a big old pussy hound; all he cares about is having enough money so he can chase after tail.  And, of course, he ends up marrying a White Trash Southern slut, named Cheryl, but that does not stop him from whoring, or from Cheryl spending so much of the Harrington fortune they get into financial difficulty, and so have to dip into Virginia's houses and trusts.

                           In order to do that, though, they ply Virginia with psychotropic and allergic  drugs, reducing her to the manner of an Alzheimer's patient.  Which is how one first encounters Doris Roberts, and which is what I first thought.

                           But, when loser Ernest, gets wind of the sales, and keeps sniffing after more money, he is dismissed by Nick to "go play with his dancers."  You see, Ernest, though he won't admit it, is one big HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!  And, since he has money, he can create his own dance company wannabe, exploiting the talents of students who truly want to dance, and think they are studying with some Michael Bennett/Jerome Robbins genius, when, actually, their instructor is an incompetent hack, who should never have gotten beyond Row E, Center.  But, this is what money does, sometimes.

                            Eventually, with Goren's and Easmes' help, Doris recovers.  And when she tells everyone off at the party, all Hell breaks lose.  "You haven't got what it takes to be a Harrington," she tells son Ernest, who, it turns out murdered  both Libbie and Isabel, both to get more for himself, and to keep Isabel, who had broken away from her Park Avenue digs, and was slumming in So Ho (at $5000/month, which is what slumming in So Ho is, these days!!!!!!!!!!!) from writing a book exposing the dirty family linen.  Ernest thinks by murdering Isabel, he is saving the family name, and getting in good, which means more money for him.

                              What he did not count on was Virginia truly loving her daughter, and favoring her granddaughter.  You have to see the scene where she calls Ernest a monster, while he, a man in his Fifties, wails "Mama!," like one of the Pleasure Island boys being turned into donkeys, in "Pinocchio."

                               It is worth it, just to see this!  Meanwhile, Virginia is left with scoundrel Nick and White Trash Slut Cheryl.  You just know, that, within several months, Virginia will boot them out of Park Avenue and they will be living out of a trailer, down South, with Cheryl's parents, who are probably straight out of "Honey Boo Boo!"

                              This is one big camp fest, girls, and scores on all levels!  The next time it is repeated, don't miss  it!

                                And, once again, don't go messing with White Trash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We Need Some Fun On Here, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            If you look at the last half dozen or so, posts, darlings, you are liable to think I have gone all Sylvia Plath! Hell, it has been at least five years since I reread "The Bell Jar,"--probably more, because it is something one definitely has to be in the right psychological frame of mind for; you cannot just blindly pull it off the shelf, and say, "I am going to read this!," like one can with "Great Expectations," or Jane Austen!!!!!!!!!!

                             So, then, I thought, what would be fun and campy, not to mention queenie, for all my readers?  And that is when it hit me--that hoary 1977 ballet classic, "The Turning Point!"  Poor Arthur Laurents, who always thought more of himself than others did (just try and get through his autobiography, "Original Story By, which was so egotistical I simply could not get through it!!!!!!!!!) and who felt that, with this film, he was making an art ballet film in much the same way Michael Bennett made dance an art form just two years before, on Broadway, with "A Chorus Line."

                                  What he did was create a compendium of camp cliches that, while not on the high level of "Valley Of The Dolls,"--what could be????-- is nevertheless one film that, especially if you are gay, you should see.

                                     Remember what the poster for "The Turning Point" said--"Every person has one?"
Gag me with a spoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The scene with Shirley MacLaine, playing--get this--an ex-dancer turned suburban Oklahoma wife (who teaches dance) walks into the family bathroom, with  the stockings hanging on the road, and says, "Gorgeous!" has to be seen to be believed!  It is priceless!  I mean, darlings, even at its worst, my bathroom never looked like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Then, how about ex-child actress Lisa Lucas (remember her, in "The House
Without A Christmas Tree??????") as Janina, the "normal" child of the family who does not want to dance, but cook???????????  She must feel out of place in that house; no doubt, she will serving hash to truckers in ten years, like Jessica Lange at the end of "A Thousand Acres."

                                              Now, Philip Saunders, as Ethan, wants to dance, like anything!!!!!!!  But, his mother would rather him play baseball, because,  let's face it, she is afraid of him becoming--HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!  I got news for you, Shirl, (or Dee Dee, as her character is named)--he already IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Anne Bancroft, as Emma, Dee Dee's former dance colleague, gives the greatest performance playing a dancer--without having to dance a step!  Even the recreation of the "Anna Karenina" ballet is more dramatic movement, like a stage play!  And when she takes Emma, the dance prodigy daughter of Dee Dee, under her wing, followed by a trip to New York--well enough flames fly to satisfy the most flaming of queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   I mean, who did Arthur Laurents think he was kidding?  He wasn't writing a movie for the mainstream; he was writing one for gay men !!!!!!!!!!  Not as campy as "Valley Of The Dolls," nor as inspirational as "The Red Shoes," but gay, just the same!   Not iconic enough to  suit Arthur, but one that should be seen!

                                                    Of course, he saved the best for last--and that is the Famous Fight Scene, Between Anne Bancroft And Shirley MacLaine!  It actually begins downstairs in the bar, then continues all through the floors of the building, culminating on the roof of the ballet theater. I shall try and bring you as much of it, as I can, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Here is what I could find, darlings!  Wait till you see Anne Bancroft throw her purse, and scream "Bitch!"  Of course, what this scene is about is not two women, but two gay men!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Arthur Laurents certainly knew that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         So, have fun with this, girls!!!!!!!!! Have a screaming good time!!!!!!!!!!!!

The First Truly Great Book Of 2014 I Have Read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Who says short can't be good????? Akhil Sharma's previous novel, "An Obedient Father," which, unbelievably, came out 15 years ago, was not long, but extremely satisfying.  His latest, "Family Life," at 218 pages, is even shorter than his last, but the surprise is it is even better.

                                        The story is simple--a New Delhi family, the Mishras,  with two sons moves to America, to give their sons, a better life.  One day, in August, their eldest son, Birju, is injured in a diving accident at a swimming pool.  He survives--but everything changes. Brain damaged beyond repair, supposedly, he becomes a kind of Karen Ann Quinlan, (remember her??????????) as the family struggles to care for him, particularly the mother, with a fierce determination that is a kind of love bordering on a hate she is unaware of.  Birju's fate casts a pall not only on the family's present, but also, in the case of younger brother Ajay, who fulfills what his brother can't--top grades, a prestige college, a good job, a potential wife--the family's future; whatever it holds, Aiju knows he is bound to Birju.

                                          This novel examines the degrees of love and caring that test a family when faced with the worst scenarios.  Without being explicit, it asks and answers readers questions in a compelling way that makes this the first truly great novel I have read this year.  If I do a Ten Best List at year's end, I can tell you, this will be on it!

                                            If you have not read "An Obedient Father," I urge that, as well. But this current work will move you in ways that book did not, and in ways you might not expect.

                                             It is a literary gem, darlings, that must be read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Holiday Weekend Is Upon Us, Girls!!!!!!!!! Who Wants To Work? Let's Be Beach Bunnies Catching Rays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Are you ready--already, darlings?????--for the next 80-plus days of the year, which, for me, are the most magical.  When Spring turns into summer, we turn into beach bunnies, or Betty and Veronica, go to Coney Island, the Mermaid Parade, outdoor movies, the Delacorte....and on and on!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Yet, judging from my walk to work this morning, it felt more like March than Memorial Day Weekend!  Can you believe it? Either we are going to have the coolest Summer on record, or it will be like that Bugs Bunny Winter Cartoon--where he pops out of the hole, rips off the calendar to December 21--and is deluged with a season's worth of snow.  The same thing could happen--one day might be in the 60's, than the next day, and for ninety thereafter, it could be 90 degrees plus. Which could fray wardrobes, and arouse tempers!   Tempest fugit, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          But, whatever your plans for this weekend, get out and ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Are you ready????????????????????????????????

                                           Catch those rays, dolls!  But use sun screen, if you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Season Fifteen Finale of 'SVU' Is One Ballyhooed Fizzle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     Ho-hum, girls. The entire Season 15 of this rapidly sinking show has pretty much been tossing it down the tubes, save for a breath of fresh air from guest stars Celia Keenan-Bolger and Samantha Mathis  in weeks past.  Last night's episode, promised excitement, but I can tell you from what I watched and evaluated, it would be better not to go ahead with Season 16.

                       For one thing, the two who should NOT come back probably will.  I am talking about dour Olivia and petulant Danny Pino. Get rid of them both; if you have no show, too bad; you are better off!  But, rest assured, they will be back, especially since Olivia has gone and adopted the child of another fallen woman--baby Noah.  Remember when she adopted Vivien's son, Calvin?  What happened to him? He was only a thought for a few episodes. Then they dumped him into ACS and the Foster Care system pretty quick!  If I were a judge, I would not be in such a hurry to hand a child over to Olivia!!!!!!!!!  She will end up doing the same here!

                      Danny Pino''s character sucks! So, they leave him on, but then they get rid of the freshest thing to hit the show all season--Donal Logue, as Lieutenant Murphy. What a leader he would have been, and a worthy successor to Cragen.  But the show ended with him leaving 'SVU,' going on another undercover assignment.  Shit, and they have Marcia Gay Harden as Dana in jail now!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Where does that leave this show?????????????

                       Stranded--and sinking!!!!!!!!!!!  Hey, Warren Leight, come to your senses and stop beating a dead horse! Put this poor thing out of its misery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Shows your competency as a producer, darling!!!!!!!!!!!  Not much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We Loved You, Sante!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             All us aspiring grifters, and Theater Queens, could not help but love Sante Kimes!  She was the grifter we all wanted to study with; if she had established a School Of Grifting, you can bet there would be some enrollment. Now, I am not saying I approve of the murdering she did, but you have to admit, Sante knew how to grift, and she did it with style!!!!!!!!!!

                               Which is why the 2001 TV movie "Like Mother, Like Son--The Strange Story Of Sante and Kenny Kimes"will never be forgotten. Especially with Mary Tyler Moore, in one of her evil roles, playing Sante, though my favorite is where she plays the baby black marketeer.  And she got top support her from Gabriel Olds as Son Kenny and Jean Stapleton, who almost stole the whole thing, as murder victim Irene Silverman. Hey, for a deluxe apartment on East 65th Street, Sante  couldn't be blamed for superb taste. She also liked Victorian evening wear. Bet she read her Jane Austen and sipped tea, nights!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               This past Monday evening, Sante left us. She died in her prison cell, the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, in Westchester County.  She was 79, and will remembered by those of us who adore camp and aspire to be grfiters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Speaking of camp, now it can come to Broadway!  Once the dust has settled, I am predicting the return of Patti Lu Pone and Michael Ceveris in "Sante! The Musical!"  I am telling you Patti and Michael will be just perfect.  But who could play Irene Silverman?  Blythe Danner? Estelle Parsons??????

                                    It remains to be seen. Today, grifters everywhere take their hats off today, in recognition of a truly nefarious mastermind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     You will always be with us, Sante!  You are too much, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     

Why Does This Keep Happening??????????????????

                             All you girls on here remember my favorite 'SVU' episode, "Mean," which is from 2004 (can you believe that was already 10 years ago????) and was the one where Brittany O'Malley, Paige Summerbee and Andrea Kent murdered their friend, Emily Sullivan.

                               Depending on what you want to believe--or both--it was based on the Shanda Sharer and/or Missy Avila cases.  But, now there is another one that happened, back in 2012--the murder of Skylar Neese--that is almost the same thing.

                                   What is it with these teen-age girls???????????  Have they gotten worse since my day????????  And why????????????????

                                     Skylar Neese vanished from her home, in Star City, West Virginia, on July 5, 2012.
On March 13, 2013, in Wayne Township, Greene County, Pennsylvania, a body that turned out to be Skylar's was found.  She had been driven there, and murdered, by her best friends, Rachel Shoaf, and Sheila Eddy, who had plotted to kill her, took her there, and stabbed her to death. The motivation, according to ringleader Rachel--who, needless to say, is this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week--was that "I did not want to be friends with her, anymore!"

                                       So, you kill her?  You sick thing!  Smack you across the face!

                                        On February 26, 2014, Rachel Shoaf got a 30 year prison sentence. Hopefully, when parole time comes up, she will be rejected, because this is one BOTW who should not be allowed out anywhere.

                                          And what about Sheila??????????  Because she pleaded guilty, she got a Life Sentence, with parole eligibility, after 15 years. But not to worry, these girls will never see the light of day again!!!!!!!!!  Not until they are carried out in pine boxes as withered crones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Thought you were so clever?  Thought you were on top of the world, girls???????  Well, think again!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is sad how, periodically this type of thing keeps happening, and it is always girls, which begs the question--how are girls being raised today, and what is wrong with those ways?????????????????/

                                                Rachel, you are one sick bitch!  Congratulations on receiving this honor!
It will probably be  your last!

Speaking Of Sickos, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      When I heard Sean Lewis, brother of convicted serial killer Gerald Patrick Lewis, who was placed on Death Row, say that the world would be a better place without him, I was stunned!  You rarely hear such negative candor from a family member.  Though I had to wonder--both brothers had the same upbringing.  So, why did Patrick become a serial killer, while Sean didn't???????????

                                          If you want to believe the basic story, it started with a woman named Lena, a brunette. This was a woman Patrick had been with--whether in marriage or not is unclear--and by whom he had a son. Eventually, Lena saw some of the nuttiness in Patrick, and decided she did not want anything more to do with him, or her son, either.  My guess is she had an insight into Patrick's violent nature.

                                           I have to wonder about Sean and Patrick's mother. With little boys who become serial killers, it generally starts with Mother. What could have happened there?  I would love to know.

                                            That was the beginning of the end, not only for Patrick, but for his victims. He went on a killing spree through Massachusetts, Georgia, and Alabama.  Almost all of the women killed were prostitutes, whom he seemed to hate. but the biggest trigger of them all was their being brunettes--like Lena. Each killing was a symbolic killing of Lena.   If he just had the yen for sex, he would call an escort service, and ask for a blonde.  Then sex was all that happened, and, paid, the blonde went on her way.

                                             One night, in Georgia, he asked for a blonde, but the service, having none available, sent over Misty McGugin, 27,  who was a brunette.  She ended up dead.

                                              A massive search led to Lewis' arrest and conviction. And when he was interrogated, he talked--as proudly and as casually as if he were going to Lord and Taylor to buy an elegant suit!!!!!!!!!!!   What a sicko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 He was put away, for Life, but died of cancer, on July 25, 2009, at, I believe, the age of 38!  Guess Sean is right--the world is a better place without him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Though in serving out his sentence, one might say he got off easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   But not where he is now, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fleet Week Returns, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!! So, Do Your Patriotic Duty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               How appropriate, in the current "Godzilla" movie, to see our lovable friend, spikes arching above the water, swim in to San Francisco Bay,with the Naval Fleet following his lead!  That is right, following Gojira, who is our hero, and maybe, because of this, with the timing perfect, Fleet Week, which was so unjustly abolished last year, has, thanks to Gojira, returned this year!

                                 The fleet is in, darlings, and so are those sailors!  Which means you need to go down t the waterfront and ply your wares.  Invite a sailor home for a home cooked meal!  It's up to you dears, whom..or what...you serve for dessert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  The sailors are waiting!  So, what are you waiting for, girls?  This could be your big chance!

                                    They may not all look like Tom Of Finland, but some are pretty dreamy!!!!!!!!!

                                     Don't be caught short, dolls!  Make up for last year!

                                      Bring more than one sailor home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And So, The Series Comes To A Close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    When the Yorkshire Ripper was finally caught, at the end of "Nineteen Eighty," I thought, "With one more book to go, what else can David Peace do?"

                                        Well, I found out soon enough!  "Nineteen Eighty-Three," which concludes his "Red Riding Quartet," brings it all together--the juxtaposition of Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf, the rest of the monstrous and murderous conspiracy, that includes a corrupt police detective, a deranged rent boy (British for male prostitute) and an equally deranged preacher, mixed in with a series of child murders and abuse, resulting in a compelling recipe that capably brings everything to a close.

                                         Even those two evil Brits, Ian Brady and Myra Hindley (whom many consider the Most Evil Woman Of All Time!!!!!!!!!!) get a mention!!!!!!!!!!!!  All I  can say is, look what Peace did in fictionalizing the Yorkshire Ripper.  Imagine what he could do with Brady and Hindley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

                                          I have seldom been so sad to end a book series.  Do I want to read more David Peace!  You bet!  But, once again, girls, be warned--he gets down to the graphic depravity of human sickness at its worst, so, if unable to handle it, stay away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           I loved every delicious page!!!!!!!!!!!!  And I learned so much, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Like to stay out of Yorkshire and Leeds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gays Need To Practice Tolerance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Excuse Me?????????????????????

                                    Have you heard this latest political idiocy, girls???????  It comes from the biggest political idiots of the day, Newt Gingrich.  Seems he feels those holding anti-gay views are being denied their rights to air those views, because the gay community is obstructing them.

                                      Give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I have never seen anyone who is anti-gay having any problem airing their views. From street corners to church halls, they manage to get the word out.

                                          What Gingrich is really saying is he wants the gay community to stay silent, to just let his cohorts rant, and we just sit and take it.

                                             Which is what led to such horrible repression during the pre-gay rights era, and which the Gay Rights Movement has helped to eradicate.

                                                 Gingrich would like to see us back in the Fifties, with blacklisting, book burning, racial and sexual segregation.

                                                   Don't give him any satisfaction, dolls!  He even has a sister, who is a lesbian; not only is she more attractive than he. I bet they don't break bread any time soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

                                                      Hasn't Newt Gingrich become sort of politically passe, even for the Right??????/  Surely they have better options than this outdated idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         The Gay Community does not need to learn tolerance, darlings!!!!!!! It needs to maintain its stance of standing up for what is believed in, and not selling out to anyone or anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           And shutting people like Newt Gingrich up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                               

"Sweeney Wishes The World Away, Sweeney's Weeping For Yesterday......................."

                           Girls, only in the world of the Raving Queen could the following be possible.

                           After burnch at Anapoli's, where we were joined by our elegant friend, Chris, we sauntered over to the Alpine Theatre, and, as the previous post will show, saw the latest "Godzilla" film.

                             Several weeks before we knew we were going to be doing that, our glamorous friend, Ellen, called about seeing a concert version of "Sweeney Todd," done, in, of all places, the Fourth Avenue Presbyterian Church.  I saw this show seven times during its original Broadway run, and I have seen several reincarnations, so a concert version in a church I was not exactly up for.   A coworker of Ellen's was in it, playing Judge Turpin, and she wanted to go and see him.  He proved to be brilliant in what is usually the show's most thankless role!

                               Now, I have a very emotional reaction to "Sweeney Todd." and it is for several reasons. Of course, I sympathize with his tragedy and torment. But, when this show first began on Broadway, I was going through my own tragedy and torment.

                                 I saw "Sweeney Todd" for the first time, on March 1, 1979.  All it meant to me was it was the latest Prince-Sondheim work, but by the time of the first chorus, I was blown away.

                                   But, there was more. For the past 11 days, my mother had been hospitalized, diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, that was spreading.  There was no hope.  I did not want to go that day, but she insisted.  I had bought the ticket.

                                     She died, barely a month later.  Over the course of this period I found myself
returning and returning to this show as a kind of healing.  I related to Sweeney's tragedy and torment, and there was one lyric Sondheim wrote that formed my whole raison d'etre at the time, and gets to me, every time I see this show.  It is in the Act Two couplet of "Johanna," when Sweeney sings, "If only angels could prevail, we'd be the way we were."  Because, back then, I desperately wanted things to go back to the way they were.

                                        Yesterday's presentation was so compelling .  What a treat.  The Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney were superb; and that line got to me, once again. Only this time, I learned something being older--cherish the present, because eventually it will become the yesterday you wish could be the way things were.  A familiar Sondheim theme--just apply this idea to "Follies" and 'Merrily.' It fits.

                                            I can't thank Ellen enough for urging us to go to this. And for the production company for doing such a lovely job.

                                              And things are fine, just the way they are, now. May they continue to remain such!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!