August Farewells Are Perhaps The Saddest Of All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Like the song says, "The summer smiles, the summer knows."

                             I would be pensive too at the end of this month.  Two thirds of the year have gone by--already?????????--and tomorrow we enter the "ber" months, where the year begins to wind down.

                              Even though I have been out of school for close to fifty years, saying goodbye to August is kind of a farewell to Summer, even though there are three weeks to go.  After this Monday, Labor Day, it really is all over.

                                 And it went so fast.

                                But look to crisp coolness, cozy winter nights reading a book, or drinking a hot toddy.  I will stick with my black coffee.

                                 Summer had its ups and downs.  But the one of 2024 will always be remembered.

                                 "See you in September," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember When We All Wanted To Be Career Girls, Darlings?????????????????

                              Speaking for myself, I could not wait.  None of the pressures of school, with homework and deadlines.  Just straight nine to five, and then on to your real life.

                                Or so I thought.  Once ensconced in the work force it became a "grind."

                               Just look at the careers girls had to choose from.  My younger self might have opted for ballet, but I opted for the one in the middle, the librarian.  After all, I do wear glasses.

                               As much as nursing was in my blood, thanks to my mother and sister, I could not deal with bodily fluids, pricking someone with a needle, or advanced math and science.  So, maybe I did make the right choice after all.

                              Girls today have so many options.  Make the right choices, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              And make sure to have a life after work.  Bag a husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Iconic Shot And Scene Made Drew Barrymore A Star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Next Saturday, girls, the Film Forum is running "E.T." at 1PM, and, darlings, I want to be there!  I have not seen this film since it came out in 1982--my God, I was still in my twenties--and I am curious to see if it holds up.  Whatever happened to Peter Coyote, who plays sort of the villainous figure? I am sure Dee Wallace has long retired, because what use is there for her in the films being made today?

                              I recall this film having beauty, charm and a poignant message.  I cried real tears when I first saw it, and no doubt I will cry real tears again.

                                E. T. is so cute, who wouldn't want to protect him?  And the climactic bike ride, with the John Williams score should prove to be stunning.

                                 I hope we can make this showing of this special film.

                                 Wouldn't it be great if Drew made a personal appearance?

                                   To think, it has been 42 years, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  42 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Girls, Join Us Tonight At 8PM, As "Svengoolie" Sees August Out With "War Of The Colossal Beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                           This is the one about the giant one-eyed cyclops in a diaper!

                                           Things get complicated here, dears.  You see, this 1958 film was a sequel to 1957's "The Amazing Colossal Man," which was a big hit.  Glenn Lagan played Glenn Manning in the first film, who grew to enormous height, memorably ripping off a sign at a major Vegas nightclub, and then falling to his death into the Boulder Dam..

                                               In this film, he emerges, one-eyed and still wearing that diaper--how he maintains it and what he does about his bodily functions is never explored, but I can't help wondering--and now, with Duncan "Dean" Parkin playing Glenn Manning, the Colossal Beast goes on another rampage; this time worse, as the damage from the fall has caused his mind to go and he is slowly losing his grasp on reality.  Instead of the absent or uncredited wife--who might have been smart enough to exit this flick--in the 1958 film, we have Sally Fraser, as Joyce Manning, his sister.  Sweet, huh?

                                                  Did this film need a sequel?  Not really, but the Technicolor death scene--yes, it goes from black and white to color--is fun in a perverse sort of way, and everyone fussing over this gigantic thing gets pretty camp.  He should have either taken up with Allison Hayes as the 50 Foot Woman, or Dorothy Provine as "The 30 Foot Bride Of Candy Rock."  He should have gone with Allison.  He needs a strong woman to support him.  And, oh, my God, wash that diaper!

                                                        Little Pippin is so excited about this film tonight.  You wouldn't want to disappoint him, dears, so join us at eight as "Svengoolie" closes out August in some kind of style.

                                                          But a gigantic diaper???????????  Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Get A Little Color In Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I wish I knew the artist who painted this, because he/she is talented, and knows how to use color.  If anyone out there knows, let me know, please.

                                       The painting is sort of a visual metaphor for how our summer has been here, loaded with ups and downs.  But, like Scarlett we go on fighting.

                                         May everyone's Labor Day Weekend be as colorful as this.  Or better, as a giant, multi-colored Candy Land game board!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take A Good Look, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!! This Is What We Might Be In For, If The November Election Does Not Go The Right Way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          I am certain my readers recognize this famous scene from GWTW.  The Yankees are coming, and Laura Hope Crews as Aunt Pittypat is fleeing South from Atlanta, with her famous hat boxes, leaving Scarlett on her own to make the epic journey to Tara with Melanie, the baby, and Prissy.

                          Well, girls, I am here to report that if things don't turn out right on November 5, we are all going to be in Scarlett's shoes.  Only how many of us will look as good as Vivien Leigh, even under duress?

                             The point is we could be on the verge of our own civil war.  Only we, the Northerners, will now be the Confederates, and vice versa.  The South has wanted vengeance on the North ever since 1865, and I fear they may get it.

                               Well, I am a survivor, like Scarlett.  And like her, if I have to "lie, steal, cheat or kill," no one will harm myself or those I love.  As God is my witness.

                                   Get out and vote, darlings.  One can only carry so many hat boxes!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Only Comic Art Were Like This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Look at this gorgeous cover, darlings!  The color, the backgrounds, the costumes. This was the Silver Age Of Comics which I grew up with, and, of course, thought would remain forever.  I had no idea comics would become so vulgar and highly sexualized.

                                           I don't know why Cosmic Boy's costume on this cover is not pink.  Maybe it was to give him a sense of shading.  Or maybe it was to butch him up, so he would not feel gay, like Element Lad, whose costume was even pinker.  When DC chose a legionnaire to be gay, it was Element Lad, which did not surprise me.  He was, perhaps, the inevitable choice.

                                             Now, these comics go for a fortune.  How I wish I had kept my comics collection.

                                               It was a time when art was art!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How I Long For The Days When Nightclubs Were Like This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             The best part about last week's movie, "Black Friday," were the nightclub scenes--the sophisticated chanteuse named Sunny, the girls dancing in short skirts--what a time of elegance and atmosphere. How I would have loved to have been one of those dancing girls!!!!!!!! The night clubs of today are little more than hooker hook ups.  Oh, for the days............

                               My interest in nightclubs began when I saw Shirley Temple's 1934 film, "Little Miss Marker."  There, in an even more elegant nightclub, Dorothy Dell as "Bangles" Carson, sat astride a revolving grand piano, in a black gown, singing "I'm Just A Black Sheep, Who's Blue."  This to me was the pinnacle of nightclub elegance, and it was what I wanted then, and what I want now.

                                Where has elegance gone, and why has it gone out the door?  As our culture erodes, so does class.  Few people seem to have it.  After several nights on the town this summer, I can concur class is so much a thing of the past.

                                    Except for those like me, who wish to keep it alive.

                                   Look deep into this picture for minutes and enter a world of nightclub elegance!

      

   

                                  

Happy Birthday, Blake Lively!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            You may recall, girls, a recent dream I had in which Blake Lively appeared.  Now I am guessing that my inner intuition sensed that her birthday was coming up, and today is the day.

                             Happy Birthday, Blake!  This is your day, so do whatever you want.  And how many of us look this good at 37?

                               I am sure Blake works at it, but, hell, if working at it could make me look like this, I would hit the gym right away.

                               Fashionable, classy, with a gorgeous smile, Blake Lively is the real deal.

                               Have a wonderful day, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Memoriam: Cujo 2010-2024

                           It was a sad day, yesterday, girls.

                          I had stopped by Cujo's house on 77th Street, when his owners appeared to inform me of the sad news that he had passes away in May.  I was devastated.  My beloved Cujo, who was so dear, who his owners dubbed The Mayor Of 77th Street, which he truly was, perching on his terrace, the master of all he surveyed.

                            According to what they said, Cujo had been slowly failing, had some kind of mass inside his body, and was winding down.  They had hoped he would hold on until his 14th birthday, and he did.  That is a good age for a dog of his size.  The impression I got was that he died peacefully at home, surrounded by all those who loved him.  As well as those who did outside the home, as me and others have been stopping by to express condolences and how much Cujo meant to them.

                          My favorite Cujo memory goes years back.  I called for him, and he came to me out of the yard, and up to the gate.  I sat down beside him, and he posed, so I could pet him, and make loving remarks.  A woman who lived next door--and may not now--came out and reprimanded me for doing this. "What are you doing with that dog?" she said Cujo gently broke away from me for a second, turned to face the woman, and furiously barked at her, till she went in the house.  Then he returned to me.  That's when I realized Cujo was protecting me.

                           Cujo was my hero.  He was the first animal friend I made when we first moved to Bay Ridge, in 2012.  As David said, he will be waiting for me, with Chloe, Baby Mouse, and others, and I believe that.  But for as long as I pass his house, I will look up to that terrace, and, in my mind, see Cujo.

                            Rest in peace, dear Cujo.  You were loved by all and sundry.

                            Your life touched many.  Though missed, I wish you no pain or suffering.

                              Love you always, Cujo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 

                                

"Trap" Was Crap, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             This was the film I went to see the day I had my fall at the Alpine.  You know, the one where no one came to my aid?  I had always meant to report on this, but things have been going on here, so now is my chance.

                              "Trap" starts with a man named Cooper (Josh Hartnett) taking his daughter Riley (wonderfully played by Ariel Donoghue) to a Taylor Swift-like concert, where the singer in question, Lady Raven, is played by M. Night Shyamalan's daughter!  Nepo baby!

                                  Something is off from the start, and it begins with Josh Hartnett's performance.  His is the worst portrayal of a serial killer I have ever seen.  Try and compare this to one of the greatest--Joseph Cotten in Hitchcock's "Shadow Of A Doubt."  As soon as the twitchy, anxiety ridden Hartnett takes his seat beside his daughter, one knows he is bat shit crazy.  Then he leaves his daughter alone amid this mass of chaos.  Retreating to a bathroom stall, it does not surprise one when it is discovered he is a serial killer.  And not a very good one, because the lack of understatement and inability to hide his facial emotions calls his persona out loud and clear.

                                       There is no real twist, until Alison Pill, as his wife, Rachel, enters.  Did she set up the trap in coordination with Lady Raven and the cops at the concert space, or was it all done by legal enforcement?  That is for the viewer to figure out, and let me tell out, I did not, nor did I care.

                                           The only thing I cared about was an appearance by Hayley Mills as a sort of FBI profiler.  Hayley, with that unmistakable voice, and personal charm, is a true professional, giving her all to what is a piece of crap.  Which I am sure Hayley knows, but never reveals that knowledge during her too infrequent appearances on screen.  And she looks fabulous, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               How does Shyamalan keep getting financed for his movies, which bomb every time?  Unless he has another performer I care about, I have no intention of seeing another one of his movies.  I have seen six now, and four of them were crap--"The Sixth Sense" is still the best, and "Signs," was good, but the aliens were done on the cheap.

                                                  The only one trapped in "Trap" is the viewer, so, I warn you, stay away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Except for Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Join Us Tonight At 8PM, As "Svengoolie" Presents "Black Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                   No, darlings, this has nothing to do with department stores and malls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   This 1940 Karloff-Lugosi team up is seldom shown, and, having not seen it, I can't tell you why.  But maybe after watching, we shall find out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    The whole thing is a riff on the "Frankenstein" myth, with one of the leads receiving the brain of a gangster, and explaining all this, via flashback, on his way to execution.  Sounds like a barrel of laughs, right?

                                    Wrong!  It sounds more like Universal had to concoct something fast for their top two horror stars, and this is the result.  If you want to find out that result, join us.  Baby Gojira and Company will be watching!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       This poster may be better than the movie, so watch out, dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Crazy Dream, With Blake Lively!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Girls, I have no control over my dreams, so when Blake Lively popped up, I just enjoyed it for what it was.

                                     I was at a picnic, in the yard, with a pool.  The house resembled a combination of where I grew up, and my friends The Lammers, the wife whom I used to call Aunt Edna.  Something was said about a cousin of mine who had done something bad.  Which is implausible because the only bad thing she has done, like all my other cousins, is turn her back on me.

                                      People were sitting around lounging, eating hot dogs and hamburgers--the usual picnic stuff--when a striking woman comes running into the yard, desperate, asking if she could use a phone to call her mother.  Only I knew who she was.  I shouted at everyone, "Don't you know who this is?  This is Blake Lively!" I then went over to her, introduced myself, and said, "Miss Lively, let me show you where the house phone is." She went inside, and I left her to make her call.

                                        When she came out, she thanked me, and the two of us sat by the side of the pool, feet in water, having an endless discussion about everything.  It was wonderful, but so unusual.

                                         If I dream about fashion icons, it is usually ANNA.  

                                        But this is a first for Blake Lively!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       And, sorry, darlings, no Ryan Reynolds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Girls, They Are Here....The Dog Days Of Summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           It has been quite a summer for us, darlings, but now that we are into late August, the dog days cannot be denied.  One day seems like another, I cannot find a book to blow me away, Amy Adams just turned 50 two days ago--my God, can you believe it?????--and now we contemplate the cozy, quiet and cool evenings of autumn, reading contentedly as it grows darker earlier and earlier.  Until before one knows it, the longing for summer is here again.

                             So, enjoy the dog days while you can, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            They may be dog days, but they serve a purpose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, We Missed The Coney Island Sand Sculpturing Contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                           

                                                                             

                                  Isn't it remarkable what talented people can really do with sand?  I have always admired people who could construct edifices like this from sand and hold it in place.  The "castles" I always tried to make ended up resembling piles of soft ice cream, like at Dairy Queen or Carvel.

                                  I guess I was not cut out to be a sand artist.

                                But don't miss this next year, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Maybe Mr. Sandman will bring some of you a dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                           

Welcome To Baby Gojira's 20th Birthday Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Baby Gojira's 20th birthday was celebrated last Sunday, with a gathering of his friends and fans.  It was the social event of the season!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                         

                                     Here is a shot of my lovely Baby Gojira and myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                               

                                            Baby Gojira carefully inspects his birthday cake, which was made to his specifications!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                

                                       And here we all are, ready to celebrate Baby Gojira's birthday, with him seated in his special chair.  We all look like we are about to perform the opening number of "COMPANY."

                                       It was the happiest of days, for Baby Gojira and all of us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                             

                                                                                

Everyone Is Invited To Baby Gojira's 20th Birthday Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   That's right, darlings, this month marks 20 years I have had Baby Gojira.  I got him at the Film Forum, when they were celebrating the 50th anniversary of "Gojira," by showing the original Japanese classic--the first time I saw it.

                                     Baby has been with me ever since, in Woodside, with David, and now resides with us in Bay Ridge.  When we moved, he stayed overnight to sort of bless the place.  He sleeps with us, on my night table, and is an important part of this household.

                                      Today we are having brunch with friends at the Greenhouse Cafe, and then everyone comes back here for coffee, and a special cake made for Baby Gojira.  If you cannot be here, toast in honor of Baby Gojira sometime this afternoon.

                                       Baby will be so happy.  And little Pippin too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Parents Never Took Me To Gillian's Wonderland Pier, But I Am Not Blaming Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Frankly, my dears, I am not sure they knew about it.  I certainly did not know of it till recently, when it was announced that this iconic amusement park, operating since 1929, will be closing this fall.

                           Another nail in the coffin of New Jersey's great theme parks, like Story Land, near Freehold, the destruction of amusements at Asbury Park, and who knows what else?  Thank God for the Gingerbread Castle in Hamburg, NJ, and the Land Of Make Believe in Hope, NJ.

                          The commercial trash replacing them, like the Six Flags franchise, can never replace the creative beauty that these single-handed originals had.  When I read "Broken Angels," by Richard Montanari, whose prime setting was an abandoned theme park called Story Book River, I could not help wondering if the author had drawn on the great firsthand theme parks of the Garden State, and elsewhere.

                            I would love to get to Gillian's before it closes.  Alas, I fear I shall not.

                            So, bye bye, baby boomers, to another icon of our generation--the non-franchised theme park.

                            Creativity is being destroyed in favor of mass consumption!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Is Better Than One Faith Domergue Film A Month? Why, Two, Of Course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And that is just what we are getting, as "Svengoolie" presents the 1955 classic "It Came From Beneath The Sea."  This is the one about the giant octopus.

                                         Faith is as classy as ever, but I am afraid in certain scenes she is upstaged by Ray Harryhausen's remarkable special effects.  The demolition of the Golden Gate Bridge is perhaps its most famous sequence, but, if I recall, there is a scene where a tentacle emerges from behind a rock while Faith is on the beach, almost menacing her.

                                            This one is worth watching again.  For those who have never seen it, it is a must.

                                             Join our household tonight for all the tentacled fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

                                             Baby Gojira is all excited about seeing Faith again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today Is The 55th Anniversary Of Woodstock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Darlings, can you believe it?

                             There is no truth to the rumor I was there.  Nor were some classmates of mine, that I thought had, as I found out last year, at my 50th year high school reunion.

                              And, as I posted in 2015, the couple above are Nick and Bobbi Ercoline, who have been married by now, for over 50 years.  So, this emblematic photo is a testament to true love.

                              So much great music played, what shall I play, this year?

                               I think I will take this in a mellow direction.

                                Here is Joni Mitchell singing "Woodstock," from her classic album "Ladies Of The Canyon."

                                 Enjoy, darlings, and peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Feast Of The Assumption!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   This is one of Mary's biggest days, girls; the day she was taken, body and soul, to Heaven.  Just like Jesus in the Ascension.  They are the only two to have been granted this honor.  But what about Bernadette?  Or Jennifer Jones?  Or Jacinta?

                                    But this is Mary's day, the middle of the month, and the 36th Anniversary of the death of a friend from the past, Elliot Steifel.  I wrote about him, last year.

                                       Celebrate the greatness of Mary.  As Paul McCartney said, "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me."  Heed her words, darlings.

                                         I pray to Mary every chance I get.  And she is always invited to watch "Svengoolie" with us.

                                          Happy Assumption, Mary!!!!!!!!!!!!!   You deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prom Night....Where Everything Is Not All Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Ah, that should-have-been nominated for an Oscar song from the 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis classic.  But we are not here to discuss that darlings.  We are here to discuss the musical "Carrie."  Or, as it is officially known, "Carrie, The Musical."

                              Brian De Palma's 1976 film version of the Stephen King novel may not have been the first screen depiction of mean girls, but it certainly took them to the highest level.  Bullying, child abuse, menstruation, pigs' blood, high school revenge, matricide.... these are not ingredients of musical theater.  Yet they are present in "Carrie, The Musical."

                                Now, David and I saw a production of this show--which had been revised from the original 1988 show--back in 2012 at the Lucille Lortel Theatre, on Christopher Street.  It offered only the late, great Marin Mazzie as Margaret White, and the stage presentation, plus the songs, were forgettable.

                                   Several weeks back, I spotted a poster for this production, told David, and he was curious to see it.  I was shocked.  The Narrows Community Theater Of Bay Ridge, and its youth program no less, doing "Carrie, The Musical?"  How did this one get by the selection committee?  "West Side Story," "HAIR," maybe, but "Carrie???????????"  You have got to be kidding.  Oh my God, this is going to be just awful, right.  Wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     "Carrie, The Musical" will never be a classic, but I have to say this production covered it better than I ever could have expected.  The grotesque scenes were done as tastefully as possible, but the passion of its young cast, especially Caitlyn Schmidt in the title role, Amelie Jacobs taking on an impassioned interpretation of Margaret White, Anna Makarouna as Sue Snell, Niamh McCarthy as the perfect Chris Hargenson, Nash Johns as Billy Nolan, Nicolas Nelson as Tommy Ross, and Scarlet Susi as the smirking Norma all rose above the material given, possessing gorgeous voices that made the score sound better than it actually was.  And their acting was sublime, as though, being of that age, they were able to tap into the more unpleasant dynamics of it.

                                          Much of the credit for all this goes to Joanne Centeno, who directed this highly intense and technical production.  That a youth program could pull this off, says much about the talent lurking in Bay Ridge, and I hope they do a production with better material next time.  I look forward to it.

                                              "Carrie, The Musical" is not for the fainthearted.  It is a downer, and if one is depressed, I advise against seeing it.  But I was amazed to see what these young people were able to do with such mediocre material.

                                               "Carrie is not like other girls," the saying goes.  This musical is like no other, darlings.  And that is not a compliment.

                                                   But my praise of the Narrows Youth Program is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Congratulations, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please Remain Sitting Alone In Your Room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Really, that is the best recommendation I can give, after seeing this current production of "Cabaret."  A better time would be had sitting in one's room playing one's Broadway show or opera collection, reading the latest novel one is perusing, or watching true crime.  What has been done to "Cabaret" is a crime in itself, so let us start there.

                                        "Cabaret" is not just "Cabaret" anymore.  It is now "Cabaret At The Kit Kat Club."  Maybe that should be "Clit Kat Club," because lesbians are flocking to director Rebecca Frecknall's tragically distorted vision of this show.

                                             The action starts even before the show.  Audiences enter by way of the stage door alley, into a maze of darkness, where they are handed a glass of schnapps I could not drink, and almost menaced by garishly, horrifically costumed actors dressed as sex workers, suggesting the atmosphere of a sex club.  Only, guys, there are no glory holes, so sorry.  But really, once the show starts the actors and actresses are so scantily clad down there one can kooch and then some.  And all the male dancers seem hard all the time.  In my brief and merry life on the stage, I cannot recall ever being aroused from it.

                                                Things don't stop there.  Musical numbers have been shifted out of place, making no sense--when Gayle Rankin as Sally Bowles sings "Maybe This Time," it comes far too early," while the chilling "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" is handled as overstatedly as possible.  There is nothing understated about this "Cabaret," and that is the problem.  If I had been in this depiction of Berlin, myself, I would have had the sense to get the hell out of there, fast.

                                                     Nevertheless, the Kander and Ebb score still shines, Gayle Rankin is good as Sally, doing a rousing "Don't Tell Mama," but missing the mark with the iconic title song, which is sung like a woman having a nervous breakdown.  Why?  What is the point?

                                                       As for the staging, by director Frecknall and Julia Cheng's choreography, the same questions may be asked.  Most of the action takes place on three circular platforms, rising in the air to resemble a wedding cake.  At one point in Act Two, little, tiny mannequins are circling the platform, in their places.  This foreshadows how the creators envision the Holocaust, which ends the show with all the principles atop the wedding cake, facing forward catatonically, dressed in brown.  Oh, my.  The Holocaust was about mass conformity?  Are you kidding me?  Sure, but it was a hell of a lot more than that.  To reduce it to this level is to trivialize the entire piece, insulting both the Holocaust and the show.

                                                      Only two things save this "Cabaret" from becoming a disappointing evening, and those are the heartrending performances of Bebe Neuwirth and Steven Skybell as Fraulein Schneider and Herr Schultz, whose heartbreaking story is the center of the show.  Their interactions and heartbreak are so palpably felt by the audience--the only time they are allowed to feel anything--and Neuwirth's rendition of "What Would You Do?" makes those of us of a certain age think and delivers the song's emotional power in a way that makes the show worth seeing for this alone.

                                                        Which brings up another point.  There is a schism between the cabaret performers and these two.  Each group seems to be doing a different show.  I am going with the one Neuwirth and Skybell do.  When will theater practitioners relearn the value of understatement?

                                                             I may be going like Elsie, but I cannot in good conscience recommend this "Cabaret."  Stick with "the knitting, the book, and the broom."

                                                             

What The Hell Is The Matter With People!???????????????

                         This past Thursday, I went to the Alpine with my movie friend Chris.  We went to see M. Night Shyamalan's latest film, "Trap," which turned out to be crap.  The only reason I really saw it, girls, was that the fabulous Hayley Mills was in it.  She was the best thing about it, and not on screen long enough.

                          But that is for another post.

                          Today, I am concerned with the lack of compassion and empathy in people.

                           That day, there was the potential for a torrential rain.  So, I went to the Alpine armed with my Three Lives book bag, containing my glasses, which I need for distance, and my long red umbrella for both protection and color coordination.

                            While waiting for Chris, my umbrella happened to fall out of my hand, and before I knew it, I was on the ground.  It happened so fast.  Fortunately, I was not injured as I was in my April 5 fall, earlier this year, on Ovington Avenue.  But I sat on the floor at the Alpine stunned, unsure of whether I would be able to pull myself up.

                               Like Scarlett rising from the dirt of Tara, I did, but my point is that the lobby was occupied with people of all ages, and not one--NOT ONE!!!!!!!!!!--came over to ask whether I was all right, or if they could help me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Can you believe this, darlings???????????  I was more appalled by that than the fall.  What happened to human decency?  What have we become?

                                     Well, I will tell you one thing.  Here is a quote from Beverly Sutphin in "Serial Mom" for those who were there that day--

                                       "Fuck you all, you motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Girls, Should I Take A Stab At This????????????????????????????????

                                  This was the exact textbook used by Calculus students back in my high school days.  Now, I know it has been a long time, but I found this book online, so I am sure I could order it.  But that is not the problem.

                                    The problem is, I never took Calculus.  To be honest, I barely scraped by in Trigonometry, which annoyed me no end, since the year before I had aced Geometry.

                                      Now, the book refers to calculus as Analytic Geometry.  So, if I aced Geometry, maybe, just maybe, I would have a better chance at Calculus.

                                       What do you think, girls?  Is it worth the time and effort?

                                         Or should I stick to books, movies, musical theater, and fashion designers?

                                          I have aced those since I was five years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls,, Join Us Tonight At 8PM, As "Svengoolie" Presents Vincent Price In "The Mad Magician!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                           Darlings, I know, nothing can top Faith Domergue in "Cult Of The Cobra," but after his 1953 triumph in "House Of Wax," Warner Bros. just had to come up with another vehicle for Vincent Price, and "The Mad Magician," released in my birth year, 1954, was it.

                               I have never seen this film, but it seems to be a variation on the previous one.  A rival magician steals Price's ideas, and he, of course, sets out to get vengeance.  Everyone is excited about this one.  And with Mary Murray and Eva Gabor (years before playing Lisa Douglas!) on hand, Baby Gojira will be sure to get an ample supply of Fifties bosoms!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 The poster says 3D, but that won't be on TV tonight.  I wish the film had been made in color, not black and white, although nothing could top the shot of an encased Carolyn Jones with a black wig over her, depicting Joan Of Arc in "House Of Wax!"

                                      Still, it should be fun.  A woman screams while being sawed in half.  Will she survive?  Tune in tonight, dolls, and find out.

                                        Join David, Baby Gojira, Little Pippin, Cucumbo and myself for this delight at 8PM.

                                         Look out for those magic tricks, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back To Our Mini New York Vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        The thing about Disney productions on Broadway is that, like the rides in their theme parks, they operate like well-crafted machines.  Meaning it really doesn't matter who one sees--original cast or not--because it should always work.

                                             "Aladdin" worked for us both, because it was just what we needed at just the right time--color, spectacle, and theatrical magic.  This is a perfect show to take a child to, exposing he or she to the wonders of musical theater.  The costumes, sets, and special effects are stunning.  And despite what I said about the actors, Adi Roy and Sonya Balsara are a perfect Aladdin and Jasmine, while Caleb A. Barnett walks off with the show each time he is on stage as the Genie.

                                                  The reason I wanted to see "Aladdin" was to see the magic carpet sequence, which takes place in the second act, is accompanied by the romantic song "A Whole New World," and is the best moment in the show.  The magic and romance are present, and, girls, I am telling you, though we sat so far front I could read one of my novels by the light spill from the stage, I wanted to see how the magic carpet moment was done.  And you know what, darlings?  I was unable to figure it out!  Maybe it was better I did not.  That is theatrical magic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Casey Nicholaw, who directed and choreographed, put together a superb production, now celebrating its tenth year on Broadway.  It really is fun, girls, and far better than what I expected.   The way it looks now, it is good for another ten years.

                                                        Happy Anniversary, "Aladdin."  David and I were happy to be part of your yearlong celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can The Catholic Church Really Survive On The Kind Of Hate This Church Allegedly Espouses????????????????????????

                               When David and I go to mass on Saturday, at 5PM, we prefer St. Andrew The Apostle on 67th and Ridge Blvd, in Bay Ridge.  The vibe is friendlier there, and more forward thinking.

                                  But from end of May till after Labor Day, St. Andrew goes on hiatus, which leaves us no choice than Our Lady Of Angels, which, though closer to our apartment, is old school and stuffy, despite the church being beautiful.  When I say, "old school and stuffy," I am talking about the congregation.

                                    This is a community who, each June 14, celebrates a birthday for Donald Trump.

                                    This community is anti- gay.  When I first moved here, I attended a Saturday service, where the young priest celebrating the mass was marking a year since his ordination.  I also got a gay vibe from him, and he was Black.  I mention all this, because, come communion time, when two lines are formed, as the old guard got closer to this priest, they switched lines, not wanting to receive communion by him.  I knew why.  I had no problem with it, and when the mass ended, I was the only parishioner to step up outside and congratulate this young man.

                                        But recently, I heard something about this church that beat all.  

                                         A woman came to the prayer group, as most do, for comfort and reassurance, and to be welcomed.  She was a lesbian, and I am guessing that, at some point, she made that known.

                                         Shortly after this revelation, a woman in the group began circulating a letter among members that the woman in question should be removed from the group for, you know, the same old thing--she was a sinner, she was evil, she did not belong, etc.

                                            How hurt this woman must have been.  If it questioned her trust in the church, I do not blame her.  I would hope she scrunched up the letter and shoved it down the other woman's throat.  If not, I pray she found the strength and courage to find another church prayer group that would be more welcoming.  They are out there.

                                              OLA, which it is unofficially called, exemplifies that saying, "Beware of mad dogs lurking, for lurking they shall bite."

                                                Beware indeed, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        

This Is DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Have you heard about Fluffy Coke, darlings?  Oh, I know it looks tempting, but when you break it down, oh, my God, who would drink this garbage???????????????????

                                     It starts with Marshmallow Fluff.  Now, I confess I had childhood associations with this product.  I have eaten a few Fuffernutters in my time, and, at Christmas, when my mother really showed off her baking skills, she made this fabulous creamy chocolate fudge, that was made with Marshmallow Fluff.

                                       But a Fluffy Coke?  Do you know what goes into this?

                                       First, one takes a glass, or, preferably, a plastic cup, and lines the inside with Marshmallow Fluff.  Then one takes ice cubes, filling them to the top.  Then pour in the Coke, and watch the mess congeal.  Let it stand for several minutes, and one is ready to drink this stuff.

                                           But who in their right mind would?  Diabetics had best beware!  Those who like sickeningly sweet, mess things, will like this gloppy mess, but for me no thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Have a sweet tooth, darlings?  A summer nectarine is better than this!!!!!!!!!!!

If Milton Bradley Could Do This, Why Not A "Rosemary's Baby" Board Game????????????????????????

                           You have to admit it is a great idea, girls.  One side of the board could be the Woodhouse's apartment, and the other side, of course, could be the Castavet's. There would be figure tokens representing all the characters--Rosemary, Guy, Hutch, Minnie and Roman, Terry Gionofrio, Laura Louise, and others.  The Terry figure would have to jump out the window, and there would be cubes in the section where anagrams is played.  The object of the game is to reach the baby carriage first.

                             I am telling you, darlings, this would sell!  All of us 'Rosemary' mavens would go and buy it immediately, and I am sure this would win over new fans to "Rosemary's Baby."

                             I haven't figured out yet how to incorporate the dream sequence into the mix.  Satan? Nasty, geriatric naked witches?  It just does not seem proper, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Any ideas, let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             But I am telling you, this could be a hit!

                             Roman Polanski would love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Join Us Tonight As "Svengoolie" Presents One Of My Favorites--1955's "Cult Of The Cobra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                              Look at those eyes, girls!  This is the one where a group of soldiers on leave in the Far East (two of whom are Richard Long and David Jansen, my first crush) witness a snake worship ceremony, where, since this is a cheapie, the natives are played by white actors.

                              Faith Domergue, in all her Fifties glamour, follows them to the USA as Lisa Moya (even the surname has a snake ring to it) and one by one hunts them down and kills them.  Do not look into those eyes, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               I have to wonder if this film inspired Julie Taymor.  The snake is never seen, but is enacted by a shadow puppet, which is both creepy and campy.

                               And that cat!  It knows a bad one when seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Don't miss this camp classic, girls!  We will all be watching.  It could be the most fun of your week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   See you, tonight at eight, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!