Darlings, How Am I Suppose To Get Through Life Without Any Cream Sauce????

I would much prefer some cream sauce, girls, but the past week has been a whirlwind of dramatic excitement, because, for starters, lambs, I actually thought I was going to die!!!! That is right. Since early this week I have had this pain under my left arm and around to my shoulder blade, and with my healthy outlook I instantly think heart attack or cancer. I am such an optimist, girls!!!!!! This morning, it is gone. Like a miracle, and I am certainly no Bernadette!!!! A colleague thought it might be stress, which it could certainly be, but maybe it is from too much slumping over a desk, which I have to do, darlings, not just to report to all my loves out there, but which I am required to do in order to get a paycheck. So it could just be physical wear.

And from the week I have had there has been both physical and emotional wear. You heard about the stunning retirement dinner, but you did not hear about the fabulous Reading Group Annual Christmas Party, hosted once again by Adam, with libations supplied by his partner, Joel. Every time I go to this event, I feel like Judy (Garland), girls, because Joel makes the best mai tais and he just piles them on. Judy would have been proud of all I drank--at least four mai tais, some glasses of wine, and two glasses of champagne. I certainly felt a song coming on, I can tell you, though of course Judy could outdrink any of us there. Hell, with her credentials she could have gotten a teaching post at any college of pharmacology in America!!!!!!! But the party was a huge success, and there were so many tasty treats, including this tender little thing called Derek, and wouldn't we just like to treat him to some of our tenderness, girls!!!! Well, as Judy would say, "You gotta have bells that'll ring; you gotta have songs that you sing!" So I will do my best girls.

But it is going to be a challenge. Because last eve, after recovering from the pressure of my week which resulted in a hangover/migraine/virus/all of the above, I still managed to make it out the door, where history was made at the Lincoln Square Barnes and Noble when two bloggers meant face to face--yours truly, girls, and Miss Bloggger herself, Julie Powell. Julie was promoting her new book, entitled "Cleaving--A Story of Meat, Marriage and Obsession," and she was just so charming in her Austin, Texas way, and she even answered my question. Now pay attention, everyone, because this is where the cream sauce comes in. I told her how influential her writing had been to me, as it made me realize that the Kitchen is the LAST chance I have to land a husband; and I have tried EVERYTHING else!!!!! So I asked Miss Julie, what is a sure fire romantic meal to land a husband. She laughed--and so did everyone--and then said a simple steak, with no cream sauces whatsoever. Honey, if Julie says it, I will abide. My original plan had been to feed my suitor into a cream filled stupor and then ravish him. Perhaps things will have to go more slowly. Nevertheless, if I do steak, I will do a good marinade. But Julie was charming and she signed my book, and off I went into the night, happy and content.

It did not stop there, loves. Then I was off to Brooklyn Heights and Gallery Audrey, where
the most fabulous array of paintings were on display by this artist who works with nothing but masking tape. Audrey and company got a full dose of me, darlings, when I announced that one figure, in bondage, looked like a pushy bottom. Now, I am sure many of you out there know what THAT means, and maybe you even are, but I had to explain this to all and sundry, who were hearing a chronicling of the gay S and M scene for the first time, and from someone who--now pay attention, girls, does NOT even participate in it!!!! But I have been around the block and know a few things. Remember, I am more the white gloves with tea and tartlets type. But Audrey's gathering was charming and low keyed in comparison with the night before, which is why, though I enjoyed it, I was wiped out, and said my goodbyes early, because this Cinderella was about to turn into a pumpkin. The party was ground breaking because never have I heard Audrey's father be so articulate; usually the poor man doesn't stand a chance, but he certainly made the most of the opportunity he had, and it was good to hear him.

Have I stopped? Are you kidding? After posting this, I have to complete my errands, head home, call Tom to meet him in the city for a 2:25 screening of "Fantastic Mr. Fox," featuring Meryl as one of the voices, then downtown to dinner with Harvey and the Girls!!!!!!!! Sweeties, you think it is easy being fabulous, but it is not, and when the body crashes, as it did the other day, boy does it crash.

But we are back on top, honeys, and ready for action!!! So stay tuned and pray that I actually get some!!!!!

So long, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!