Girls, The New York Times Can Kiss My ASS!!!!!!

Well, not really, dears, but let me tell you, the preposterousness of this year's Ten Best Books of 2009 leaves much to be desired. Though let me say at least they weren't taken in by Jonathan Tropper's nonsense, entitled "This Is Where I Leave You." Could you imagine that book sharing the spot with Kate Walbert's "A Short History of Women?" Talk about setting off a war of political incorrectness. And why is there no short history of men? You want to know why, lambs? Because it was done back in the '60s as a caveman sitcom entitled "It's About Time." Let me tell you, "The Little Rascals" was more sophisticated!!!!!

Of course it is as much what is NOT on the list as what IS on it? Where the hell is "The Children's Book," by A.S. Byatt, because, though I am only two thirds of the way through, it is clearly the Literary Achievement of the Year!!!!! And that Lorrie Moore--talking about kissing the Times ass by playing up to the subject matter of the moment--right down to the 9/11 thing, darlings. I am sure you wrote a fabulous book, Lorrie, but so did Colum McCann, and where is he on this list????

Girls, if I published MY list it would outdo the Times with veracity and accuracy. I just might do that little thing, then. So while I am nibbling on tartlets and sipping tea, let me mull over some titles and get back to you. The New York Times, on the other hands needs a high grade colonic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!