Just To Clear Something Up, And Assure Everyone I Am Not A Prostitute!!!!!!!

First of all, darlings, if I were a prostitute, I would be on Sutton Place, and would be the high priced spread, like Elizabeth Taylor in "Butterfield 8." And while we are talking of nice spreads, let me tell you about my other friend John (not the one who was with me at 'Finnian' yesterday) but John the attorney who woke me up yesterday morning. I had asked John to be one of the ticket takers for the show, but as you know he was unable, due to a committment that day. Nevertheless, the man has a way with words that the U.S. Court of Appeals could not begin to fathom, or even remember, those nasty old coots, and that skill of John's put me at ease. And he does have one of the ten best posteriors I have seen. So that is who the other John is, girls, I would not want to confuse you all.

Seems like I am the one confused. Here I am at my office, blogging away, looking at the work schedule for today, and here I am FREE today. Maybe I can catch Jake in "Brothers," have a nice meal, and read more of the new Julie Powell book--more on that later. And after talking to my sister last night, it is clear my father is not going to Judy's, because he is still hospitalized, where he is having an endoscopy this morning, so who knows what else is next? I still have to go downstairs and see if there is a reserve book for me--please, "Wolf Hall!"--and then I will be out and about, darlings, and you will not be able to keep up with me on the road. Or I could go home and make a chicken aux champignons with asparagus!!!!!! Then tonight it is the Center Library, where I have to buy Mike a chocolate soda, and attend the Reading Group, so I can my vote in for some real, not ersatz, literature, and bat my eyes at tender little Derek!!!!

Yes, we are busy, girls, and no let up in sight! But this is just to let you know what is going on, and that you are all loved. Now, about Julie Powell. According to her book, she is getting more loving than a body has a right to deserve. Honey, I could have told her about "D", because I have been out with so many of his gay male equivalents, and let me tell you, they are all SCUM!!!!!!!! I would like to find the gay male equivalent of Eric, who sounds like a dream, and you can bet I would not cheat on him. And of course I want a book/movie deal, which is what this is all about, anyway, lambs, so let me say that, while I adore Julie's book, it is a little triggering. I am up to the pig slaughter part, which I have a feeling is going to rival both Upton Sinclair and Brian De Palma, so I am braced.

And lastly, about being a prostitute. Girls, even if I wanted to, at my current age (55), and despite my relatively youthful looks, I would be lucky if I could scrape together twenty bucks from some toothless gramps going down on me in the bushes behind Doughboy Park in Woodside. Things have happened in those bushes, let me tell you. Not to me, of course. But that Doughboy statue there has seen more action than I have of late, certainly. But then I am not Amy Adams. Not that I want to be pregant; I would just like to get boned!!!!!

But enough with what I don't have. It is time for me to go out with what I do have, so sweeties you have yourselves a fabulous time, and bear with me because come Hell or high water I am going to walk down that aisle!!!!!!!!!!

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Meryl or Amy gave me away????

See you, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!