Girls, This Queen Lives In Queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, would you believe that some readers on here are scandalized that I live in Queens. Now, granted, lambs, it is not the Dakota, but that will have to wait for the rich husband, which you better believe I am working on right now. As the Misses Monore and Russell said in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"---which is wear we ALL learn how to be girls, guys!--"...As long as the guy's a millionaire.!"

But it seems some, like Miss Park Avenue, she of the mysterious gender identity, cannot handle this salient fact about my residence. The first thing I should point out to her, or others who may agree with her is--darlings, you need a good facial astringent. I recommend Witch Hazel myself. And wash your face with Noxema, so its ingredients will seep into your skin, give you an allure you might not otherwise have.

Remembeer Camay soap, girsl? I do not think it is on the market. But how we all wanted to be the face on the Camay broche--just perfect, darlings!!!!! As an alternative I suggest getting your hands on a Dove Beauty Bar--the lovely scented pink if you are not allergic, the Sensitive Skin one, if, like me, girls, you are. Because while soap stains your skin, Dove creams your skin, and let me telll you, Miss Park Avenue certainly needs to get creamed!!!!!!!!!!!

Has it occured to anyone what I have brought to Queens? That with my sophistication, my brilliant array of books in a place hitherto where no one ever heard of them, plus my most glittering coutiere of designer clothes, I have raised the sophistication level of Queens hundreds of per cent, just by my presence alone!!!!! Not to mention my commute is a lot shorter than even some who live in Manhattan, darlings. No one can match my apartment for decor, girls, and you better believe I am the consummate hostess. I am talking Babe Paley, darlings!! That's right! You heard me, Babe Paley!!!!!

So until we have my house warming at the Dakota, loves, Queens will do just fine. Remember, girls, as the Divine DV (Diana Vreeland) said, "If you have a faucet, you can have a facial!!!!"

Almost tea time, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!