Welcome To My BitchFest, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, let me tell you about this wonderful blog I have discovered that certainly echoes cherished sentiments of mine. It is called "Fuck Corporate America," and is a criticism from within, that is, written by someone who is mired in such, and knows whereof he speaks. My hats go off to him and this blog.

You may wonder why I share such sentiments, as I dont't, technically speaking, work in corporate America. Alas, there is a tale to tell..............

The year was 1978. I had graduated college the spring of '77. and was looking to make my entryway somewhere--suit, briefcase, the whole bit, circa that time. I was perfectly happy to settle down in some office job, as an administrative assistant, work my way up, and live the suburban life I was clearly raised for. Alas, that was not to be. And the consequences were devastating.

During this period, my father informed me, that spring, that an interview had been set up for me by an uncle at Personal Products, a divsion of Johnson and Johnson , where he worked. What should have been routine turned out to be more memorable than I could imagine.

I got all duded up, with my briefcase, and was shown into the office, by a pleasant looking woman, a personnel representative, whose name I still remember--Lauren Schor. When she looked at my resume, and saw my home address, we began a friendly discussion of the Learners--a family who lived on my street then, had three children, all of whom I knew well. Ms. Schor had gone to school--college, I imagine--with Mrs. Learner. This talk helped relax me.

All of a sudden, she got very aburupt, and said, "If you don't mind, I am going to be blunt with you. If you don't do something about yourself, you are never going to get anywhere." For what seemed an interminable length of time, she began to belittle everything about me--how I looked, dressed, talked, walked; at one point stating, "When I first saw you out in the lobby, I thought you were a weak, ineffectual kind of guy." I bristeled at that, and lunged in my seat, like I wanted to attack her, which I probably did, then she quickly countered, "Of course, now I can see you are not!" but nevertheless she kept insisiting that was her first impression of me.

At no time were the standard interview questions asked--why do you want to work for this company? Where do you see yourself in five years, etc? I had certainly heard these enough times that I knew to expect them. But when we finished, and I walked out of there, I felt I had been less to a job interview and more to a termination of employment.

I was only 23 at the time, and came out of there like a dog who had just been whipped. When I told my parents, they were clearly upset. At the time, I was enrolled in a job training program; what today would be called career counseling. The rule was if we went on an interview, we had to come back and talk about it. When I told of my experience, the two women who ran the program, looked at each other, went to their offices, and slammed the doors. Apparently, phone calls were being made. I turned out to be right; at a very quiet dinner table that evening, the phone range twice; my mother answered both times, and handed me the line, as they were for me.

The first call came from a man whose name I wish I could remember, but whose titled identity I never forgot--the President of Johnson and Johnson. He profusely appologized to me for my expereince that day, and I listened politely, too young and shaken up to be taken in by the monumentality of what was actually happening. This was followed several minutes later by a tearful Lauren Schor, who clearly had been reprimanded, but who clearly also did not understand the gravity of what she had done. When I countered that I showed up expecting to have an interview, like any other prospective employee, she countered, "Oh, no! I was just doing a favor to your uncle!" An uncle, by the way, who was trash, had a history of spousal abuse, and treated his children so horribly they left home at the first available opportunity. Though some of them took on some of his traits, saying I was too lazy and such because I was having difficulty finding a job, and still living at home with my parents. They were just resentful because I came from and am still from a much higher and educated social class than they!

Shortly after all this, I noticed, my uncle and father had a falling out. They would not speak to each other, and if we were visiting my grandmother, he would not remain in the house in our prsence. Good riddance!!!! I had an idea all along that I was the cause of this falling out, but all I got from my father when I asked, was a tight lipped remark about my uncle--"He's a very ignorant man!!!!!!!!!"

Of couse at the time I had no idea what had taken place. Only after a good 10-15 years had passed, and I was established and on my own--did I realize that the appologies and such stemmed from fear of a lawsuit I could have placed at the time. For, although the terminology was NOT mentioned, what Schor was calling me on was my homosexuality. It was made clear to me--gays were not accepted in coroporate America. So I subsequently said, "Fuck you!" to it, and walked away, longing all the time for acceptance which would have meant more money and such that I deserved, where now I have to compromise so much, because gays are still not truly excepted in corporate America. Which to a degree is why I am a bit heterophobic and misogynistic. And continue to be. Let's face it--if I went for a job at, say, and ad agency or a publishing house, I would NOT be accepted.

I suppose I should resent even the gentleman who posts FCA, as he is probably straight, too. But how can you resent, girls, someone who fundamentally agrees with you. Neverhteless, the consequences of this past expereince of mine still reach out and claw at me. At least my uncle has gone to his reward, which I imagine is a hot, burning one. And I know I am superior to all these people around me, darlings!!!!!

Now, wasn't this a fun bitch session, girls? And so instructive, too!!!!