Darlings, All This On A Day I Am Going Before The Camera!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, girls, I am ready for my close-up, in pink. Tonight, at the Center Library, where I volunteer on Thursdays, we are filming an "It Gets Better" video in honor of Tyler Clementi and the other suicides during America's Sad September, who ended their lives prematurely and by their own hand due to harassment over their alleged or perceived sexual orientation. And of course we are walking for Tyler personally on Saturday. So I have to look my best, say my lines, and be as moving as Jennifer Jones as Bernadette, who is going to insire me. Can you believe it, lambs? This, while preparting to play a sociopath--that is right, next week I am doing a dramatic reading of the role many, including myself, have said I was born to play--Rhoda Penmark in "The Bad Seed!" So many peerformances, darling; hope I can all keep it together!!!!!!!!!!

Now, listen to this, sweeties, because can you believe the absurdity of it all?
Today the nominees for the 2010 National Book Award Winners were nominated, and in the Fiction category, Jonathan Franzen was passed over!!!!!!! What WAS nominated????

"Parrot And Olivier In America" by Peter Carey
"Lord Of Misrule" by Jaimy Gordon
"Great House" by Nicole Kraus
"So Much For That" by Lionel Shriver
"I Hotel" by Karen Tei Yamashita

That last one might as well have been written by "Audtion's" Asami Yamasake!!!!!
I mean, what the Hell? Who gives a shit? We know that Kraus got nominated because she is the wife of Jonathan Safran Foer. As for Peter Carey, isn't he British, so what is he doing here? And Lionel Sriver--what a mixed bag--a brilliant debut with "We Need To Talk About Kevin," then a disappointing followup with "The Post-Birthday World," and now THIS??? If I recall, this one did not sound too appealing, either.

Poor Jonathan Franzen. First he gets attacked by chick lit skanks like Jennifer Weiner and Jodi Picoult. Then someone in England holds his glasses ransom for $100K. And now THIS???? It must be open sesason on homosexuals and Jonathan Franzen. Well, babycakes, I will not tolerate attacks on either. And who or what, btw, is Jaimy Gordon? Who ever heard of spelling it that way???? This sounds like a travesty. You might as well have nominated Zadie Smith and Martha Stewart for collaborating on a cookbook; if, indeed, they ever did.

This list is so piss poor I have not read a single title on here. And to ignore Franzen altogether is disgraceful. Who do they think they are? OK< they bestowed the prize on "The Corrections," so I can see his not winnng again, but not to be NOMINATED!!!! Nominate my ass, you bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So in the face of all this I have to look my best, step on camera, say my spiel and get on with things. Heaven help me this weekend, and over the next ten days!!!!!!! I am on vacation, loves, but I promise my girls I will not forsake them!!!!!! I will report on evertyhting from the front lines!!!!!!!!!! It will be more inspiring than "A Farewell To Arms." Of course it would; I write better than that overrated twit named Ernest Henmingway!!!!!!!!!!

See you on the town, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!