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Friday, February 25, 2011

Girls, A Word Or Two About Cupcake Blockers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Darlings, let me explain. As you all know, the milk of human kindness just flows from my veins, which is why Thursday evenings finds me doing volunteer time at the LGBT Center Library, with the lovely Tynisha and our fresh, little (though intellectually brilliant) cupcake, named Mike. Poor Mike; he is just SO cute and crying out inwardly for someone to love him. We all do, but just not in that way he needs. So we are always on the lookout for him. And, with last night being such a slow night, potential was spotted.

This tall, shadowed, baseball cap guy, and his crony came in, and I could tell there was something sparking between he and Mike. This guy was easy on the eyes, anyway. Tynisha, with her wisdom, was trying to get the guy to turn over his library card, so Mike could "examine" it, thereby gleaning vitally important information, which would lead to his scoring some kind of assignation!!!!!!!!!!!

But this Cupcake Blocker, not to be confused with a Fudgepacker (and I know all MY girls know what THAT means) stood in the way, and forced the guy to put away his card. I wanted to bitch slap him silly. Or at least de-elasticize his undies!!!!!!! That would teach him a lesson. After all, the object was to get rid of this Cupcake Blocker so something could happen to Mike--maybe he would get fudgepacked, or the guy in the cap would. Frankly, I don't care who gets what, just as long as our sweet Mike gets some much needed action!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, he could be a super-hero!!!!!!!!! Forget Ryan Reynolds as "Green Lantern!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It just goes to show--do not let a Cupcake Blocker (named for Mike's culinary speciality) ruin your opportunity. I think we should have a sign, pointing first at Mike, so those who want him can SEE him, and then a separate line for these Cupcake Blockers, who can carry on with their silliness, without getting in anyone's romantic way!!!!!!

These unfortunates need to watch reruns of "Love, American Style!" Especially the ones with Arte Johnson and Ruth Buzzi!!!!!!!!

Will Mike be an old maid?????? Not if Tynisha or I can help it!!!!!!
Stay tuned for more details, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

And future Cupcake Blockers---BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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