Where Have I Been, Girls???????

Now, darlings, you know I have missed you all, but what a rough couple of days it has been. And here we are at Christmas Week!!!!

It all started with the annual Work Christmas Party this past Friday, which, of course, included the annual group dance to "It's Raining Men." Honey, if you think "Who's That Woman?" is winding, you should try this, especially in high party mode. Since I had to work the next day (another "time honored" tradition!!!!), I could not imbibe, but that did not stop others, I am telling you!!!!! The drinks went fast, the food faster, the tree was beautiful!!!! And a good time was had by all!!!!!!

Before I get to the weekend, let me backtrack to the Gay and Lesbian Reading Group Party, which took place last Wednesday. Joel's famous Mai Tais were once again the highlight of the evening, and while I had my share, remarkably I was not hung over the next day!!!!! That Julio, what a cut up!!!! And no Miss Thing to disturb the festivities!!!!! I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!!!

Two parties in 72 hours. Is it any wonder I was getting run down???? Then working a full day Saturday. And we actually had a party to go THAT night, but were both so exhausted we passed on it!!!! And, darlings, when the Raving Queen passes on a party, you know a point has been reached!!!!!

And Sunday, we had to do Christmas shopping--at MACY's!!!! We arose, breakfasted, I did my calls, errands, and such, and we were off. Well, by the time we climbed out of the subway at 34th Street in front of the store--and you can imagine how crowded THAT was!!!!--I was hit by such a state of drowsiness I thought I was going to go down right there!!! Was my klonopin working over time????? Had I accidentally taken too much???? I was feeling WEIRD!!!! Nevertheless, Monsieur shepherded me into MACY's, where we shopped, and where I was eventually overcome by nausea, which was so palpable by my face, he knew I was not faking. I can act, darlings, but I'm NOT Meryl Streep!!!!! Even he knew we had to get home--and fast!!!!

Would you believe we got a taxi outside MACY's Sunday, in middtown, during Holiday Shopping Season???? The angels must have been giving me a break, because we whizzed home, where I was promptly hurled into bed when IT began--stomach ache, back ache, and intestinal noises. Oh, and yes, girls, running to the bathroom with expected results. I almost wished it had been the other end, as I am better at gauging attacks. With where it was, over the years, there have been times when I did not make it, accidents happened, and clothing was lost!!!!! Intestinal stuff is the worst!!!!!

Added to which I could not eat, nothing tasted right when I did, my stomach was growling a mile a minute!!! Was this food poisoning???? Fallout from the Christmas Party????? Holiday Stress???? All of the above??? And I was supposed to go to my sister's at week's end, for our annual Christmas celebration with my father and everyone!!!!! What was I going to do????

I even, coincidentally, went to my doctor, as I had to reorder a prescription. All he could do was to advise me to drink fluids and go slow on my food intake!!! Like, I was going to pig out at Commander's Palace in NOLA???? Honey, if you put me in front of there over the weekend, I would have passed out on the spot, because the luscious aromas coming from there would, at that point, have sickened me. As did the Holiday food commercials, when I would try and watch television!!!! Would this torment ever end???

I think it might, and I have to credit some of it to Pepto Bismol!!!! You just know I love its pink color, so why should something so pretty taste so icky??? Like mint flavored chalk!!!! Not as bad as a colonoscopy prep, but not what you would expect from pink!!!!

So I went to work yesterday, and, at some point late afternoon, I felt my stomach settle!!! Though I don't feel out of the woods yet; memories linger for a long time!!! But--food tasted normal now, I enjoyed dinking coffee for the first time in days, and things are staying in me. I don't know what knocked me out, but , girls, don't let it get you!!!!!

What else???? I have to get bus tkts, a token gift for Monsieur. We have no idea what to get one another, so we are going to jointly give ourselves an evening out, with a nice dinner, and a show. My guess, if it is till running, the show will be "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever," because Monsieur has been hankering to see it, and I have to admit, I am curious, too. But I am telling you, darlings, if "What Did I Have?" is improperly sung, I will get right up in my seat and deliver on the spot a sell out rendition that will put such an error to rest!!!!! So stay tuned on here, for this, girls!!!!!

I want to stop in at my home away from home, Three Lives Bookstore, to wish everyone a Happy Holiday!!!! As well as those at work!!! Then I am meeting my childhood friend, Doug, for a Bitchfest screening of "Carnage," which, now that I am blogging again, girls, I will be sure to report to you!!!!!

Oh, another sign of improving health, I was really able to enjoy my "Law And Order's" last night. It was a full evening of 'SVU', and capped off by one of my favorites, Shadows," featuring Sarah Paulson as the Socialite Siociopath we all know and love--Ann Gillette, whose fashion sense does not stop with prison or murder!!!!
You just gotta love her!!!! I had forgotten how doubly delightful this episode is--as it is the one where Edward Hibbert licks Mariska Hagarity's (Olivia) boot!!!!! I recall reading an interview with Hibbert about doing this scene, where he said they all had fun, and had trouble keeping a straight face!!!! As for the boot licking, he said, "It was an honor, really!!!"

If only I hadn't capped it off further by watching the "American Justice" program "To Save their Souls," chronicling the story of Family Annilhator John List, the man from Westfield, NJ, who murdered his entire family 40 years ago. Monsieur watched it with me, and I think it was too intense for him!!!!! And it got under my skin in an eerie way, because I had a series of disturbing, nightmarish dreams at one point, capped off by List's image appearing in there somewhere!!!!

So.........from stomach upset to boot licking!!!!! That's where I have been!!!! You can bet I am going to avoid any homemade egg nog this year--and I advise you to do the same. Or, at least, lace it with enough alcohol to kill any bacteria that might be there!!!!!!!

Today we turn over a new leaf!!!!! Keep your eye on the next post, darlings!!!
Get out The Roches Christmas Album, "We Three Kings..." !!!! Watch the 60's Mexican movie "Santa Claus" with the gayest Devil this side of Christopher Street!!!!!

Whatever you do to make your holidays festive...Enjoy!!!! But no foot fetishes, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!