Girls, What Is This, All Of A Sudden, With Every Actress Wanting To Play Miss Havisham??????

I am telling you, how many times can they film "Great Expectations?" Doesn't anyone realize that David Lean got it right, back in 1947???? Recently, I spoke about, and showed you a photo, of Gillian Anderson, looking far too Cate Blanchett and Tolkeinesque in the role!!! Actually, if the still had not said otherwise, I would have said Gillian was portraying the title character in an adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen's "The Snow Queen." Which, actually, would be a good role for her, and is a story whose adaptation can always be improved upon, as none that I have seen have yet gotten it right. And just happens to be this fairy's all-time favorite fairy tale!!!!!

Well, now comes word another "Great Expectations" is being planned, and guess who is playing Miss Havisham THIS time?????? Are you ready, darlings??????

Helena Bonham Carter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have got to be kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Miss Carter. At one time, say twenty years ago (at least) she was one of the freshest faced ingenues we had, in films like "A Room With A View" and Howards End." But something happened along the way. Not just age, and marriage to Tim Burton, she got inexplicably blowzy, her bosom expanded (due to pregancy, and its aftermath). No longer an ingenue now, and having played Mrs. Lovett more like the Beggar Woman in her husband's abysmal film version of the great Sondheim musical, "Sweeney Todd," it got to the point where, if you needed someone to play a harridan on film, call Helena Bonham Carter!!!!!!!!

But Miss Havisham is not a harridan. And, being British born, I am sure Miss Carter has a working knowledge of Dickens; it must be in her blood.

Miss Havisham is a revenge seeking repressed spinster, hellbent on breaking the hearts of the male sex, which she wants to do, but cannot, as she has become a withered recluse, virtually a living corpse. So she uses her beautiful ward, Estella, which, while I have always wanted to play Miss H, darlings (honey, I lived it!!!!!), I wouldn't mind a crack at Estella, as it would be such delicious fun to break men's hearts!!!! Heh! Heh! Heh!!!!

With Carter cast as Havisham, I dread to think who is going to play Estella!!!
Lady Gaga, maybe????? Casting is so moronic these days, it would not surprise me one bit!!!!!

But, back to matters at hand! Anyone who knows their literature knows that repressed spinsters do NOT have ample bosoms!!! They are flat and angular!!! Especially so, in Miss H's case, as she has been living for decades isolated from th daylight, wearing the same tattered wedding gown she was jilted in, and having stopped those famous clocks of Satis House at 8:40. For Noel Coward, life began then; for Miss Havisham, it ended!!!!!!

The casting of Helena Bonham Carter here is completely wrong!!!! Now, if she were playing Madame Thernardier in "Les Miz," I think she would be perfect. I hear they are casting that one, Helena, why dion't you go up for it??????

And, truthfully, how many "Great Expectations" and Havisham interpretations, beyond Lean's, have gotten good reviews???? None!!!!! You think filmmakers get smart, but, with this, the 200th anniversary of Dickens' birth coming up, they figure Charles is now a cash cow again!!!!! Wrong!!!!!!!

Hey, I just had an idea!!!! How about Joan Rivers as Miss Havisham???? I mean, with those face lifts, she looks it!!!! Besides, she's got no bosom--never had--and she IS a withered crone!!!! (But we love her!!!!)

What A Tramp, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!