Darlings, We Have Had Such Drama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, so much has happened over the past several days, I bearly have the strength to record it. But, as Monsieur Davide tells me, I owe it to my fans, my girls to explain. I am telling you, I am severely TRAUMATIZED!!!!!!!!

As you know, darlings, on Thursday we had this storm, that some are saying was a tornado. Now, I saw no evidence of it. I mean, no repressed spinster lesbian bitches on bicycles went flying by, or anything, and where I was in the city, it raiend torrentially for about twenty minutes, and that was that. It has happened before. But, as I was leaving work to voluntteer at the Center, I heard the annoucnement that the #7 train was not running at all. This has happened before, too; I figured, big deal, by the time I finish my gig at 9, and dine with Monsieur Davide afterwards, things will be running smoothly again.

I could not be more wrong. Not only wasn't the #7 running, so weren't many other subway lines, and the LIRR. So there was no question what I was going to do--stay overnight at Monsieur Davide. Which turned out to be the right thing to do, because when we go there, we turned on the TV, and saw hundreds of stranded people--at Penn Station, on LIRR locales, and in subways. Darlings, I mean, how could they take a shower? I hope some were carrying moisturizer!!!!!! Anyway, the night passed tranquilly, as it always does at Monsieur Davide's--and I went on to work on Friday. That evening was Yom Kippur eve, so Monsieur was gong to services, and I hadn't been home in awhile to straighten things out. And with all the reports of the storm doing dammage, as I returend home, I felt like Vivien Leigh as Scarlett, wondering if Tara would still be standing.

Well, like in the film, it was, and I was relieved. Nothing looked wrong with the building, and the streets all aound me looked like there had never even been a storm. Power was on everywhere. THEN I walked in to my place. At first, all looked fine, then I looked to the left, into my living room. OH MY GOD, DARLINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Papers were scattered all about. The shade of my front right living room window--the one nearest the wall--had been torn off, and pieces of it had flown into the kitchen. Worst, that bottom window pane had falllen out, and was lying flat, balanced miraculously by my radiator on one side, and tea table on the other. Thank God for tea, girls. I am telling you, I felt like I was living through Katrina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now it gets worse. I had the presence of mind to call the super. I thought about whether or not I could do anything about the window myself, but MY GOD, I needed a MAN!!!!!!!! But would you believe, I tried three times to reach the super; even went downstaris and knocked on his door????? NOTHING?????? That is when, girls, I became hysterical!!!!!!!! I mean, you would have thought the cuticle on my third finger was slightly uneven, which, God forbid, it was not!!!!!!
I called Monsieur Davide; I got his message machine and left one. He called me, and I dissolved in tears. I had several options--run over there, spend the night there alone, or have David come over. Needless to say, David came over. What a sweet thing he is!!!!!!!!! Now, lambs, I had been thinking of what to do with the window myself, but you know how we girls need a MAN!!!!!!!!! So, when he arrived, I just cried into his big, strong arms, because, girls, I was SEVERLY TRAUMATIZED!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, he put me at ease, by simply being able to pop the window pane back into place, and before you knew it, things felt like home again.

Of course, Monsieur Davide spent the night, so after coffe, darlings, because, after all, caffeine is one of MY basic food groups, we tackled the issue of the APARTMENT. Sweeties, it was like Suellen O'Hara working in the fields at Tara--my back was nearly broken, and my hands! Oh, MY GOD, my hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have to admit by the end of the day, things looked so homey and organized. Make me excited.

Nevertheless, Saturday eve we headed out to the Village and his place, and as we left, I noticed one of my neighbors carrying a new mattress up the stairs. I learned that the storm had shattered both his bedroom windows, and ruined his bed. Darlilngs, even though I felt like I need FEMA, I realized how lucky I was. Well, we high tailed it back to the Village, where I just cried and writhed in emotional truama, while Monsieur Davide did everything in his power to comfort me. Which meant we stayed in all day on Sunday, and I watched the 'SVU Marathon." There was this one about a family who had lost a daughter named Heather, and it turend out that her psychotic, drug addict sister Nikki, had killed her, and her enabling mother had covered for her. Let me tell you, that Nikki was one piece of work. I was glad to see her arrested, and I hope she gets hauled off to a facility where not only will she get rehab but do time with a gay prison guard who will turn out to be a Rue McClanahan wannabe, and will make her over into something more presentable than she was!!!!! I mean, prison has to be good for something!!!!!!!!!! Why not glamour?????????????

I was just comatose all day in front of the TV, trying to get my strength back. Somehow I rallied out of bed and to her, darlings, where I am taking it easy, hoping my migraine goes out to sea, like the storm on Thursday did. But if another thing in my apt goes--straight I go to Monsieur Davide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I hope my future weekends are not this drama fraught. And I hope yours are not, either. Meanwhile curl up in your quilit and chill out, dears, while we get rid of that stress chill!!!!!!!!!

Honey, you have no idea!!!!!!!! Bring on a pitcher of chilled Bloody Marys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!