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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Girls, You Won't Believe What Anna Has Been Up To!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I canot believe this, but the word on the Street is that Anna has been skipping many Fashion Week events to spend more time at the U.S. Open. We know she plays tennis at 5:45 each morning, which is one way how she retains that Anna figure. Hell, at that hour that is when I am simultaneously saying "Fuck you!" to my alarm going off, while inwardly expressing gratitude for another day on Earth. Such is the way of MY life, girls!!!!!!!!!!!

But I have to wonder--if Anna isn't there, who IS???? Hoepfully, Grace, because as we know, lambs, no one knows her color blocking better. My fear is that VOGUE's resident court jester Andren Leon "Talley-Ho!" is on the beat. I mean, whatever happened to the likes of Danny Kaye in "Lady In The Dark?" Now, THERE was a presentable court jester. Talley-Ho is like a human verion of Mr. Hankee, the talking Christmas poo from "South Park," and while Andre may be more hygenically sound, Mr. Hankee is a bit more articulate and erudite. So let us hope for the best that Grace has been filling in for Anna!!!!!!!!!

I want to ask my lambs--what is it about Tuesdays??????? First, I call my father this morning, and get a full report on rectal bleeding that has me so worried I am ready to hop a plane to Florida, which, as you know, dolls, is the LAST place I want to be. Then my commute turns out to be Hell-ish, what with a delayed, stalled train and mobs of commuters scrambling for whatever they can get, like the Russians fleeing Moscow in "Doctor Zhivago." If only I looked like Julie Christie!!!!!!!!!! Yes, girls, as glamorous as you may all think it is--this is MY life!!!!!!!!!

Of course Tuesday turns out to be the busiest, most demanding day of the week, so God knows what I am in for!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I should hit the tennis courts like Anna. But haven't lifeted a rackett in 30 years, you can bet my backhand is lacking!!!!!! And no way in HELL am I doing tennis, or anything at 5:45 am!!!!!!!!!! My girls haven't even taken off their face masks yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But don't leave them on too long girls; you don't want to look like the Phantom Of The Opera!!!!!!

Kiss Kiss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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