Girls, You Could Hear The Audience Gasp!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, the last time I heard a movie audience gasp so palpably was when the camera closed in on Julie Andrews as she did the legendary twirl in the classic "Sound Of Music" opening.

But this was altogether different. Last night, Monsieur and I went to see "Crazy, Stupid Love." In fact, so, it seemed, did most of the Upper West Side, judging from how packed the theater was. With a virtually all-star cast, headed by Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling and Julianne Moore, we could at least expect to be entertained. And, certainly, we were.

However, honey, let me tell you, that entertainment came as much from the audience as from what was onscreen. First, you could tell a lot about the constitution of the audience from where they sat. The attached straight women--married, or single with boyfriends, who were clearly dragging these guys to this film, sat in the middle. The single straight women sat off to the side, right, while the gay men sat off side, left, and in the back. As we waited for the film to begin, these two delectable twinkies wandered up and down the theater, trying to find a seat. The one in the plaid shirt was especially delectable, but then Monsieur covered my eyes. I can tell you, they were clearly there for Ryan Gosling!!!!!!!!

Basically, it came down to the single straight women being there for Steve Carrell (though I happen to enjoy his work, and think he is cute!!!!!!), the straight guys being dragged by their women were there for Julianne Moore and Marissa Tomei, while the gay men (that is me, among so many others, darlings!!!!) were present for both Ryan Gosling and Julianne Moore.

The most important thing one takes with them, coming out of this film, is that Julianne Moore is STUNNING!!!!! Oh, My God!!!!!!!!!!!! How does she do it, darlings??????? Certainly not with Roberta's skin care products!!!! If we could all look like Julianne, there would be no government crisis, because everything would simply shut down, in a state of delirious delight!!!!!

Mr. Carrell, cute as a button as ever, does his usual Wounded Bird characterization in a style which would make Monsieur's Uncle Ernest proud!!!!!! Girls, we have seen him do it before, and, no doubt, will again, and I do realize he is an acquired taste, like anchovies--one either likes, or not!!!!!!!

But how could anyone NOT like Ryan Gosling????? Once he came on screen, I swooned in my seat!!!!! And not only this--as he has shown on numerous occasions, the man can ACT!!!!! Interesting, seeing him doing an outright comic role--his timing is superb!!!--but one with depth, a sex-crazed Lothario, who turns out to have some soul in the end!!!!! Go, Ryan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My hands are shaking, writing this next paragraph. And, no, dolls, it is not Carpal Tunnel!!!!!! It is thinking back to last night, when Ryan removes his shirt, and we see his tightly chiseled bone structure. His face is leaner, too! Honey, you know I have always wanted to gozzle Ryan, but, apparently, so did the rest of the audience, because, at this point, it was a gasping contest between the straight women and gay men to see who could outdo the other in volume!!!!!! And you know, honey, with me leading the cheering section for gays, our side was helped tremendously!!!!!
But, I am telling you, it was just something I was not prepared for!!!!!! I mean, Ryan has always been nice to look at, but THIS?????? Hubba Hubba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From that point on, funny as the rest of the film was, it did not matter who, what, when, or where!!!! I had to be pried from my seat, at the end, and my seat was damp!!!!! And you better believe, darlings, that, as I slept last night, visions of Gosling sugarplums danced in my head!!!!!!! As they did for everyone who was there last night!!!!!!!

This is the Summer Film to see, girls!!!!!!! But, I am telling you, you will need a cool drink and a cold compress after!!!!!!

Make that a Mimosa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!