Darlings, We LOVE Vivien Cardone As Paulette!!!!!!!!!

No, girls, I am not talking about Paulette Goddard, I am talking about Paulette Bartol, who happens to be one of the more fascinating perps seen recently on "Law And Order--Criminal Intent!" But let me tell you, the episode she appears in, entitled "Delicate," proves that she and the rest of the girls in it are anything but!!!!!!!!!

You have to hand it to the writers of this one, who pulled out all the stops, incorporating into a one hour framework key plot ingredients to three noted films--
"The Turning Point," "Heavenly Creatures," and "Single White Female."

"Delicate" starts at the prestigious Schumann School of Music and Dance, which, dolls, for anyone who has lived in or near New York, knows is clearly a stand in for Julliard. That poor school, all it wants is to maintain high standards, and it get it stuck to all the time.

Anyway, things are really competitive and tough in Ethan Johns' ballet class.
Queen Bee Alona, who is also sleeping with Ethan, bitches it to the other girls, and, honey, I am telling you, none of them like it one bit. Especially Paulette Bartol, who, at the start of things, seems to be Alona's friend. So much so that she sabotages her rival, Jessilyn Kerr, by planting glass in her dance shoes, causing Jessilyn injury. But when Alona finds out, instead of being grateful, she calls the disturbed, codependent Paulette "a crazy freak," which you better believe freaks out Paulette. The next thing you know, she has hitched her star to Jessilyn, and the two begin a relationship of such intensity it borders on, but is not quite, lesbianism--rather like the girls in "Heavenly Creatures" and "Single White Female." Paulette even echoes Pauline Parks in the former film by keeping a detailed jouranl of her actions and her fondest wishes. And, like Jennifer Jason Leigh's Hedy in "SWF," Paulette constructs a shrine of worship to her friend Jessilyn, which looks more like a voodoo altar to me. I am telling you, this girl has some serious issues!!!!!!!!!

Things get even more intense at school, when girls start falling mysteriously ill with stomach ailments...all but Jessilyn and Paulette. Paulette is so happy being at the center of Jessilyn's world, living vicariously through her, even if she herself is not as good a dancer, and is sometimes relegated to the role of piano accompanist during class. Before you know it, Alona and Ethan have broken it off, and before you can say oops!, Alona is found at the bottom of some stairs...dead!!!! She would appear to have been pushed.

By this time, Zach Nicolls (Jeff Goldblum) and Serena Stevens (Saffron Burrowns) are hot on the trail, and their primary suspect is Ethan. But he soon peters out, when one of the students, Riley, reveals not only a relationship with Ethan but a series of stomach ailments afflicting the girls. When the detectives sniff her breath, they discover it is laced with anti-freeze; someone has been systematically poisoning the other girls, keeping them afflicted just enough so their dance skills wane...all but Jessilyn and Paulette!!!!!!!!!

Jessilyn, meanwhile, is thrilled about taking the lead, and her parents caution her, which causes the girl to blow up at them. Paulette provides her with emotional comfort, and while reading Paulette's journal, spots something she (Jessilyn) should not have seen. Paulette smoothly covers things up.

But things are beginning to not look good for Paulette. Nicolls and Stevens discover her troubled history, which includes being thrown of a school for stalking another girl, and having a penchant for obsession, and then violence, if the object of her obsession does not comply. Paulette also plays fast and loose with reality, and even Jessilyn's parents are on to this. They forbid the girls to have any more contact, but Jessilyn becomes hysterical, smacking her mother in the face, and spitting in her father's!!!!! Honey, when was the last time we saw such hysterics???? Inconsolable, she has retreated to her room, and is all but ready to kill herself, when Paulette magically appears at the window, and it seems the girls are reunited, but then the parents and cops break in and haul them off screaming.

Confined to their own interrogation rooms, at first, the girls desperately want to be together. Nicolls says let them be, then bring reality into the picture. This is done, and when it does, the relationship falls apart, as the more adjusted Jessilyn realizes Paulette has been using her all along. Poor Paulette; she just wanted to be noticed!!!!! I mean, who doesn't???? But unlike gay men, darlings, Paulette cannot call on BARBRA and LIZA to rescue her through CDs and imitating them for catharsis!!!!! Then Paulette's mother shows up, and she screams out her hatred at her. It seems Paulette's mother had wanted to be a dancer, but when Paulette happened and lessons became too expensive, she gave up those dreams for child rearing and solvency. But not before Paulette, accompanying her mother to classes, got a taste of the arts would and wanted its adulation. You can tell Mother is a has been dancer; her body is still trim, but her hair is a mess, and her skin is yellowed, from years of smoking, which is what I am sure she used to keep off the weight. Mrs. Barton says Paulette has always been "sensitive." Well, hell, yeah, so have been a lot of us--including yours truly--but we are not lethal!!!!!!! After Jessilyn leaves, Paulettte breaks down, and before being hauled off to the slammer, she and her mother reconcile. But not before Stevens recognizes the pain of a life in the arts, which she learned from someone she dated in college.

This is one episode you cannot miss, girls, and our heart goes out to the deranged Paulette who just wants what we all do; it's just her means of getting it are a bit skewered. But I am sure she will find lots of friends in prison.

Kudos to Vivien Cardone for a masterful portrayal, and the writers for extracting every ounce of juice for the story. I prefer "A Chorus Line" myself, but for sheer malevolence, you've gotta hand it to Paulette!!!!!!!!!!

We love you, darling!!!!!!! And I love all MY darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!