Darlings, Once Again It Is Time For....Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!!!!!!

One thing I have learned in the past week, girls, is that while there is an entire constellation of bitches out there, sometimes they seem to just pop up out of nowhere. And such is the case with this week's Winner....that used-to-be-talented and soon-to-be-washed-up actress....Megan Mullally!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Megan, she had such promise. I recall her back in 1995 as Rosemary in the Matthew Broderick 'How To Succeed' revival. I mean, honey, when she sang "Happy To Keep His Dinner Warm," I knew just what she was talking about, and she was on a par with Bonnie Scott, the orginal Rosemary from back in 1961.

And of course Megan shone so brightly it led to her being cast as Karen on "Will and Grace," where for years she and Sean Hayes stole every scene from Debra Messing Eric McCormick. But a funny thing happened to Megan during the course of that long run, I guess; she became infected with Shelley Long-David Caruso syndrome, and began to think SO WELL of herself that the character of Karen began to take over her actual persona. At least, with Ronald Colman, it was Othello!!!!

All of this culminated for poor Megan last week during the rehearsals of the now defunct revival of "Lips Together, Teeth Apart." It seems that as far back as February, when rehearsals began, Miss Classless Diva Megan got too big for her panties and started pontificating how her leading man, Patton Oswalt, was not experienced enough theatrically to appear on the same stage with her. As if she were Meryl Streep or Judi Dench, for God's sake, which, after seeing Megan in "Young Frankenstein," I can assure you she is NOT. And who does Miss Megan tell this to? None other than another potential bitch of the theater community, Mr. Joe Mantello, a singularly talented director, who, I am told, directs through intimidation. Which would not work for ME, darlings, because if Joe tried to intimidate me, he would soon find himself going Bitch to Bitch. Which he did, this week, with Megan. Not only did she have the temerity, dears, to question his casting acumen--which is flawless, by the way--she deigned, like the Wicked Queen in 'Snow White' to imperiouslyu suggest a cadre of actors more suited to play opposite HER> I mean, get off it, Megan!!!!!!!!

Well, Joe, like a good Bitch, stood his ground, and good for him!!!!!! You can bet there were some choice words said to Megan about acting like a professsional; I mean, this outdoes even Eve Harrington!!!!! But little Miss Megan, oh, no, she is not through yet, and conspires behind Joe's back to get Oswalt repalced. Until I am sure Joe exploded, the you know what hit you know where, and Miss Mullally not only stormed off the set, but out the door, abandoning show, contract, everything, because she thought herself too fine a figure to appear with Patton Oswalt.

You couldn't ask for a better Bitch this week than Meagan. But chickens come home to roost, darlings, and this will come back to bite Megan again and again. She will NEVER work on Broadway again, girls, not only due to this blog, but due to the numerous charges I am sure Equity will bring her up on. I can see it now--back to Hollywood--do a defunct 'Karen' spinoff, then a talk show, then the bowling lounges, and then plying her faded wares on the corner of Hollywood and Vine. Good luck, Megan, because by that time, no one is going to want YOU. Hell, after last week, no one wants you NOW.

So let us raise a Bloody Mary, Vodka Gimlet, or whatever your drink of choice is to our Bitch of the Week, Miss Megan Mullally. The theater community, for a long time to come, is going to be hard pressed to top this one. And this in a businesss where every other person out there is a bitch.

Love to all my darlings, from your favorite Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!