Girls, You Are NOT Going To Believe This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, after the emotional debacle last weekend that was my father's defunct birthday celebration, I get this email from my sister about how when she and my father went to the bank to roll over his CD or whatever, he asks the bank officer what would happen to his money if he moved to Ireland? Is he kidding? Ireland at 95? Even if Judy is over there for a time, I cannot be flying cross continental, darlings; I mean, Florida is bad enough, but Ireland? Not that it isn't beautiful and worth seeing, but this is NOT the time in his life to do that.

See why I need a husband, girls? But you had better believe I am still striking out. Maybe I should revive my "Sweet Charity" act, with me impersonating Gwen Verdon from the cast album cover. Hell, at this stage, that would be as garish as Bette Davis as Baby Jane.

No wonder I am gulping meds and going to the doctor's; hell, I do not even expect to see 95, so you would think my father would cool his jets and just enjoy what he has here. And, of course, girls, I cannot go over there and fall in love with some Irishman because Europeans, darling, are....uncut....and honey, we do not go there!!!!!!! At least, I don't. Hell, it only makes things more difficult.

This will definitely require an extra dose of nightcream. Or something. You see why I have been resorting to Bloody Marys. If only the waiters would wait on me more!!!! Oh, well, see you at teatime, girls!!!!!!!!!!!