Darlings, Just Some Loose Odds And Ends!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With all that has been going on, girls, did I mention that last Saturday eve, Monsieur Davide and I saw "Viagra Falls?" In tandem with "Piranha 3D," this was the second piece of trash consecutively consumed. The irony is that, next to the play, the film turned out to be more on the level of Noel Coward--it at least evidenced some wit!!!!!!!

"Viagara Falls" should never have been produced beyond a suburban neighbor's garage. It is like a ver risque, EXTREMELY bad sketch from "Love, American Style," stretched out to an agonizing 90 minutes. And NO INTERMISSION, leaving the captive audience unable to run out of the theater, which, believe me, lambs, is what I wanted to do. No such luck. I understand that when produced elsewhere, it DID have an intermission. Shall we place bets on how large an audience returned?

The play, which is allegedly set in Sunnyside, Queens, but looks as generic as the Bates Motel, concerns two old coots, one of whom is played by co-author Lou Cottell, whom I am told played something called "the Ass Man" on "Seinfeld. Honey, we are not talking Olivier here. His cohort is Bernie Koppell, who used to be the doctor on "The Love Boat," and, girls, you should see what time has done to him. I barely recognized him. Wanting some kind of geriatric fling, they pop viagra pills, and hire a prostitute, whose cliche ridden, heart-of-gold, back-to -school character (shades of "She's Working Her Way Through College") is from another theatrical era as well. But I don't blame the actress; I blame the writers, one of whom, unfortunately, is on the stage. Is it directed? I don't think so, because a climactic moment that should strike with poiognance drew a shrug of puzzlement from me. But the capper, lambs, came at the end, when it was announced the actors wanted to meet and speak with audience members, afterwards. You could not get me out of there FAST enough!!!!!!!! And this thing has been running for a month!!!! At what cost is anyone's guess, but the ultimate price paid by anyone who sees it is the mental stability of any serious theatergoer!!!! Let me mention, darlings, that Monsieur Davide and I saw it for FREE, which, coupled with No Intermission, is the only reason we stayed. To my girls who have NOT seen this, I say--SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, another, beautiful, non-work Saturday for me is herem though let me tell you, loves, if you think turning out this blog is NOT work, think again!!!!!
Then I have to finish "The Charterhouse Of Parma," start the new David Mitchell book, scout stores for the new Franzen, rest, get ready for an evening where the Cherub meets Monsieur Davide, and then get up to visit Monsieur Davide's lovably eccentric, if not eccentrically lovable, Uncle Ernest. Believe me, eccentrics cotton to me, and often I to them, so you we may just hit it off!!! On the other hand, from what I have been told, Uncle Ernest and I just might get into a foot stomping contest, while yelling at each other, "I won;t, and you can't make me!!!!! I'm not afraid of you," like Bette Davis in 'Baby Jane'!!!!! Two Janes in one room, dolls, it could be interesting!!!!! Stay tuned here, for further details.

Details also include rest, because Iam emotionally exhausted from work, hosting my book club, which was a smashing success in spite of the ironically chilly and blustery weather, fear of going to the dentist, and dealing with evil lesbians, my own crazy relatives, both living and not, and the coming of ANNA to Lincoln Center for Fashion Week!!!! Do you think I have enough on my plate, lambs?????
Do I need anything more!!!!! I don't think so, though from the way I have described things, I just may end up having Ruth gordon as Minnie Castevet knocking on my door!!!!

Make sure you check your keyhole before you answer, girls!!!!! I always do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!