Today Is A Day Of "Freedom", Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And no, girls, I am not talking about Richie Havens and Woodstock. I am talking about this being the publication date of Jonathan Franzen's eagerly awaited novel. Now, because I am The Raving Queen, I got my copy a little sooner than most, but let me tell you, the opening sentence is a stunner. I cannot tell you more, as I have not read the rest; I have to finish the new David Mitchell book before I hunker down with Jonathan Franzen. But hunker down I will.

If only I had the time, girls. I mean, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan sure do, since they will probably be cell mates. Of course, these gals were not exactly high SAT scorers--they scored big on coke, and I don't mean cola--so I doubt if reading Jonathan Franzen is within their ken. Hell, they might not be up to the sophisticated level of the Madeline books.

Which begs me to ask, dolls, who is? I mean, with the Lincoln Center Barnes and Noble closing, this is a great signifier of the further dumbing donw of America, which is reducing us to a baselss, capitalist nation, glutterd on button technology and a blue collar mentality, like some of my right wing relatives. Is the entire world becoming right wing? Are free thinkers such as myself or Franzen going to be consigned to prison camps. Let me tell you, darling, remember the then SURPRISE ending of the original, 1968, "Planet Of The Apes," when Charlton Heston was still hot looking, and showed his butt???? This is exactly the beginning of how that ending was achieved. And let me tell you, lambs, you do NOT want to be surprised that way. I mean, Roddy McDowall as an ape was so UGLY!!!!!!!!!!

So say "Fuck You!" to Glenn Beck and "Right On!" to Jonathan Franzen, and march into your bookstore and buy a copy of "Freedom" to free you from the intellectual isolation society would have us perpetuate on ourselves. I know my girls, and they will follow suit!!!!

But not without the proper outfit and heels, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!