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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Girls, Make No Mistake About It, This Is MY Role, And I WILL Do It!!!!!



Darlings, let me tell you, I have had it up to here with all these "Glee"-ers, who are ready to canonize Lea Michelle as the next vocal genius!!!!! You have GOT to be kidding!!!!!!! Now, first of all, let me say, I LOVE "Glee"!!!! That Chris Colfert as Kurt is one cutie, and a real talent, even if the scriptwriters won't except what is needed, which is to have Will Shuster plow his butt, because he (Will) is the gayest straight man this side of Rock Hudson!!!!!!!!! And we all know how THAT turned out, don't we lambs!!!!!!!!! Jane Lynch is brilliant, the kids are great, I love Becky--I like "Glee," all right?????

BUT just because I refuse to accept Lea Michelle as the next Streisand, who is doing to do the 2012 revival of "Funny Girl" on Broadway, some people think I am such a BITCH!!!!!!! Honey, it goes way beyond that.

There are two reasons I cannot accept Lea in this role. The main one is she is not up to it. Her phrasing is pedestrian, she can't belt because her voice is not strong enough, and she tries TOO HARD!!!! The other reason is that because this role belong to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen, dolls, I was there for the Coming Of Barbra!!!! I remember when this quirky Brooklyn girl stepped out of nowhere, and gave all us burgeoning suburban gays the hope that we too could emerge out of our own Nowhere. And, girls, let m e tell you, I have. Since before puberty--yes, darlings--I could do a "Coronet Man" that would blow the roof off the house!!!! Just ask the neighbors; they still talk about. As far back as 1966, I pegged the Winter Garden Theatre for myself, and that is where I will DO "Funny Girl." In fact, I will do it NOW on a soapbox from any street corner you want, and it will STILL be better than Lea!!!!!! And IF--just IF--Lea is foolish enough to get to Broadway, that soapbox and performance will be done outside the theater where she is playing, and the production will lose money, until they take HER out, and put ME in!!!!!!!!!!

Let me further say I have nothing against Lea Michelle!!!!! She is actually pretty and talented in a sort of middle class, mediocre way. She just needs to learn to work within these parameters, instead of insisting she is on the level of Barbra or MOI, because, sweeties, she is NOT!!!! And for this, the "Glee"-ers--most of whom have never read a book, and cannot even grasp "Twilight!"--think I am such a bitch!!!!!!! How can I be a bitch when I tell the truth???? Can I help it if IAM THE GREATEST STAR???????????????

People who saw Barbra in "Funny Girl" WERE the luckiest people in the world!!!!!
People who DON'T see Lea Michelle in it are LUCKIER!!!!! But people who see ME in
"Funny Girl" are the LUCKIEST OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I am telling you, when you're gifted, then you're gifted!!!!! See you on the set, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

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