Darlings, Would You Believe A Photograph Inspired This Musical?????

Girls, what in the world has made me think of "Miss Saigon?" It is not even one of my all-time favorite shows. Its score is derivative, at best. But the black and white photo shone her, loves, is what started the whole thing, once Claude Boubil saw it!!!!!!!!

How well I remember all the attendant hoopla surrounding this show, when it first opened on April 11, 1991. My God, it has been 20 years!!!! The first Broadway musical to reach the $100 ticket price. The first to feature a helicopter that flew onstage. (Though people who went for this alone were cheated; the vehicle was so far upstage right, if you did not sit far front enough, you barely saw it. And as for flying, it arose vertically into the air, and out of sight, and that was it!!!! And people got all worked up over THAT??? Back in the late nineteenth, early twentieth centuries, darlings, theater producers were getting the entire chariot race sequence from "Ben-Hur" onstage, with live horses. Puh-leeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!) The first show to star Lea Salonga; hell, it MADE her a star!!!!! And a show that had Asians all over protesting over the casting of Jonathan Pryce in the pivotal role of The Engineer. And two Broadway veterans appeared in small but important roles--Hinton Battle and Liz Callaway.

But, girls!!! This was simply Puccini's "Madame Butterfly" rewritten and transplanted to Saigon in 1975. With the opening number, featuring a chorus full of grunges, singing, "The heat is on in Saigon...one of these chits here will be Miss Saigon," (hey, don't you call ME a chit, you hear!!! I am a GOOD girl, darlings) it was apparent this show was not a world beater.

The real reason to see it were Pryce and Salonga's performances. But with the ticket price so high, and seats sold out so far in advance. some of us did not stand a chance. So when they moved on, I lost interest in seeing it--though it seemed never to go away. I promised myself I would see it ONLY if Lea Salonga returned to it. Who would have thought??? Several years later, I got my wish!!!!!

My viewing of "Miss Saigon" was memorable, though not for the reasons I wish. Lea Salonga was wonderful though; unquestionably so!!!! Just as the lights went down, the chorus began "The Heat Is On," and Miss Salonga took her first steps onstage, I noticed the stage lights slowly going down, then out, with the actors looking, at each other. Uh-oh!!!!! Then came the stage manager, announcing "technical difficulties," with most of the audience heading to the bar for free drinks, while I sat in my seat for a good 45 minutes or more, until the trouble was resolved, whereupon the show started again from the top. You can bet that was the night the musicians, and probably the stage hands, got overtime pay!!!!!!!!

But "Miss Saigon" really does not kick in till the second half of Act Two, meaning the three fourths you have to sit through to get to this might as well have been jettisoned. However, there is one moment therein that almost redeems the evening, and gives a hint of what the show might have been.

That moment comes from Chris'(the American soldier) wife, Ellen, (originated on Broadway by Liz Callaway ) who has come to Saigon with her husband, to claim the child he fathered and left behind, so that they may bring it to America. By accident, Kim (Salonga's character) and Ellen run into each other, but agree to keep this a secret. Ellen then steps forward, and wins the audience's sympathy with her heart rending performance of the plaintive ballad, "Now That I've Seen Her," suggesting that while she still loves her husband, she cannot despise Kim. It has a gorgeous, soaring melody that is the most compelling one of the evening, and it is at this point that most people who have been snoozing throughout the show understandably awaken. The American version is such an improvement, because, in the original London production (and you can hear it on that recording) this song was performed as "It's Her Or Me," which clearly makes Ellen into a selfish American bitch!!!! Maybe that is what the Brits think of American women; who knows? Wisely, the transatlantic journey enhanced the lyric, making it and Ellen more sympathetic, and giving the show its one winning moment. Honey, Ellen is the role all us actors dream for and pray; one where we get to sit backstage most of the eve, while collecting a paycheck, then suddenly walk out, and perform a showstopper to tumultuous applause. I am ready to do this role anytime you ask!!!! You hear that, Cameron Mackintosh???????

However, this show belongs to a recently deceased era that has now given way to this "Spring Awakening" nonsense, which, too, will end at some time. But you have to hand it to "Madame Butterfly;" it keeps being reconstituted. Its plot motif was at the heart of a little film almost a quarter century old, called "Fatal Attraction."

I am NOT going to be ignored, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!